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Songs That Make You Laugh
Topic Started: May 31 2007, 04:26 PM (86 Views)
IRON MAN
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INVINCIBLE
[ *  *  * ]
Heres an oldie by Jerry Reed,
"She Got the Goldmine,I got the shaft" :lol:
Album-The bird..1982


Well, I guess it was back in '63,
When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me,
So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife.
Well, she said she would, so I said, 'I do'.
But I'da said, 'I wouldn't' if I'da just knew how sayin' 'I do'
Was gonna screw up all o' my life.

Well, the first few years weren't all that bad.
I'll never forget the good times we had,
'Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support.
Well, it wasn't too long till the lust all died.
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised,
The day I came home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch.
Well, I tried to get in, she changed the lock.
Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said,
"Goodbye, turkey. My attorney will be in touch."
So I decided right then and there I was gonna do what's right
Give 'er her fair share but, brother,
I didn't know her share was gonna be that much.

She got the goldmine, (She got the goldmine,)
I got the shaft. (I got the shaft.)
They split it right down the middle,
And then they give her the better half.
Well, it all sounds sorta funny,
But it hurts too much to laugh.
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft.

Now listen up. You ain't heard nothin' yet.
Why, they give 'er the color televison set.
Then they give 'er the house, the kids and both of the cars.
See.
Well, then they started talkin' about child support, alimony,
And the costs to the court.
Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was.
I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake.
'Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes.
Besides, everythin' I ever had worth takin' they've already took.
While she's livin' like a queen on alimony.
I'm workin' two shifts, eatin' baloney.
Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?"

They give her the goldmine, (She got the goldmine,)
They give me the shaft. (I got the shaft.)
They said they're splittin' it all down the middle,
But she got the better half.
Well, it all sounds mighty funny,
But it hurts too much to laugh.
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft.

--instrumental break--

Well, she got the goldmine, (She got the goldmine,)
I got the shaft. (I got the shaft.)
They split it all down the middle,
And then they give her the better half.
Well, I guess it all sounds funny,
(Ahh, ha ha ha)
But it hurts too much to laugh.
She got the goldmine, I got the shaft.

Heh, heh. Hey, Jimmy, I got the shaft.
But I don't have to worry about totin' a billfold anymore.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I let my wife tote it.
I'm gonna be carryin' food stamps.
You get it, judge?
I'm gonna be indebted.
That's my money.
Huh?
Contempt of court?
What do you mean I'm in contempt of court?
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cardie
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Here's one I've always liked. Of course, I'm not prejudiced because of him being my cousin. :wub:


Mac Davis Lyrics

It' s Hard To Be Humble Lyrics


(spoken)
Back a few months ago, I was headlinin' a great big nightclub...
and they put me up a couple days early, I came in a couple days early
and they put me up in what they call the "Star Suite",
now here I am, headlinin' in one of the biggest nightclubs
in the country and I wake up at eight o'clock in the morning
in this "Star Suite"...

...all by myself.
Crowd: Awwww.
Mac: Yeah, that's what I said, "Awwwww."
But I did what I've always done, man, to cheer myself up,
I picked up my guitar, I sat down and I wrote me a little song.
Now this is how it feels to be alone at the top of the hill,
tryin' to figure out why.

(sung)
Chorus:
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cause I get better lookin' each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin' the best that I can!

I used to have a girlfriend
But I guess she just couldn't compete
With all of these love-starved women
Who keep clamoring at my feet
Well I could probably find me another
But I guess they're all in awe of me
Who cares? I never get lonesome
Cause I treasure my own company.

Ohhhhhh.....
(chorus)

I guess you could say I'm a loner
A cowboy outlaw, tough and proud
Well, I could have lotsa friends if I wanted,
But then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd
Some folks say that I'm "egotistical",
Hell, I don't even know what that means!
I guess it has something to do with the way
That I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans

Ohhhhhh........
come on, where's all the kickers in here?!
(chorus)
One more time, what are we doin'?
We're doing the best that we can!
Give yourselves a hand.
Yeeee-haw!




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haralson_rebel
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The newest song from Brad Paisley..I liked to search for ticks
I am not getting the words.though
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cardie
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Here's one that my daddy use to love. I think Little Jimmy Dickens use to sing it.

It won't let me copy and paste the words but you can find the words here. Hope it works.

http://susie1114.com/LittleBrownShack.html



Here's a link with someone singing the song.

http://turoks.net/Cabana/OdeToTheLittleBrownShack.htm
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Cabe
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cardie
May 31 2007, 09:23 PM
Here's one that my daddy use to love. I think Little Jimmy Dickens use to sing it.

It won't let me copy and paste the words but you can find the words here. Hope it works.

http://susie1114.com/LittleBrownShack.html



Here's a link with someone singing the song.

http://turoks.net/Cabana/OdeToTheLittleBrownShack.htm

My son loves that song. :lol: My Dad introduced him to it!
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