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| Random Flash Fiction | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 9 2008, 11:32 PM (47 Views) | |
| Serdones | Dec 9 2008, 11:32 PM Post #1 |
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(Completely unedited. I didn't even read it after I wrote it.) I sat on a rock. A boulder, really, seeing as how it was large enough for me to sit on quite comfortability, with enough room for me to bring my legs up underneath me in a cross-legged sitting position. The boulder -- as we'll now call it -- was of no particular interest. The only thing notable about it was the rather large collection of moss on one side. I supposed it was the North side... or the South side. Moss grew always on the South, right? I didn't know. I stretched my legs -- they had grown tired and sore from being held underneath my weight and pressed against a hard, irregular surface. Yawning while I stretched, I turned my gaze up towards the sky. The clouds had finally parted to give me a view of a clear blue sky. The sunshine streamed onto me like a warm shower and my skin drank in its glowing rays like a sponge. With a bit of a grunt, I hefted my frame off of the rock, forcing my feet onto the ground. I took a step forward -- and collapsed. "Well that's annoying," I murmured, struggling to my feet. I took another step forward, this time making sure I had it firmly planted on the lightly grassy ground before bringing my other foot ahead of it. Upon the completion of my second step, I smiled, saying to myself, "There, all I needed was a little warming up." This proved to be true, for soon I was walking at a rate that one would see as nothing special, but for me was a large accomplishment. Maintaining my balance, I forged a trail through the field, carefully eying each step I made. The field was fairly even and there didn't seem to be any disturbances -- no ant hills or snake holes. But I was still cautious. After ten minutes or so of precise walking, I arrived at the side of a road. First, I examined the road. It was made of cement... or tar... or whatever you called it. At first I thought that this could be a special road, but then I realized I wasn't high and so such thoughts were not appropriate for the time. I looked up the road to my right. After a minute of studying it intensely, I determined that it, too, was very much a road. It went on as a road for several miles, as far as I could see -- and I could not see several miles away, so the assumption that it went on for such a distance is unreasonable. To my left, the road was still a road. Many yards away, however, the road went on as road until becoming a slightly darker road. I directed my gaze up at the sky -- there was a cloud over that section of the road. "That explains it," I said, now satisfied with my findings. After I figured there were no details worth looking into, I took a step onto the road. When my foot was firmly on the ground, I noted that the surface of the road was significantly harder than the surface of the field. I shifted my weight from my front foot to my back foot, noting the differences in the force being exerted on the soles of my feet. "Yes," I said. "The road is definitely harder." I brought my back foot onto the road. My weight was now evenly placed in each foot, so that neither was feeling more pressure than the other -- so I thought. As it turned out, there was a small pebble under my right foot, which resulted in an unlevel surface, making that foot become sore at a faster rate. Acting quickly, I lifted my right foot off the ground, dug the tip of it on the road behind the pebble, and then swept it away with my foot. "I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me," I murmur, noticing that the pebble had been moved, but if I were to walk straight several feet -- in very small steps, and move a few centimeters to the right, my right foot would again be disturbed by that blasted pebble. Deciding it was an obstacle to face on another day, I took a few more steps into the road before being struck on the left side by a car cleverly hidden by the slight shadow of the cloud that wasn't actually enough to conceal it. After a few moments of intense pain, I died. - Nick |
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| Dantari | Dec 10 2008, 09:22 AM Post #2 |
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That was the best work of literature I have ever been lucky enough to witness. Brilliant! |
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| Aaron | Dec 10 2008, 11:27 AM Post #3 |
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I only read the top bit this morning and it was very good. Well done! |
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| Dantari | Dec 10 2008, 12:11 PM Post #4 |
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I am intrigued by the cunning mixture of classical usage of literature with a more contemporary style. Excellent writing, and the twist at the end was really exciting. Especially the last two words! I give it a 10 out of 10! Outstanding! |
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| Aaron | Dec 10 2008, 12:19 PM Post #5 |
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I saw some errors cos it's unedited - first line "quite comfortability" but hey. It's well written. I'll go with Nick's score of 10 out of 10. I prefer the twist... But then I woke up! It's so cliché. |
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| Serdones | Dec 10 2008, 01:30 PM Post #6 |
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[color=Insert your color here][color=Insert your color here]There's actually quite a lot of symbolism to it. Take, for example, this paragraph: [/color][/color] [color=Insert your color here][/color] |
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| PJ | Dec 11 2008, 05:49 AM Post #7 |
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The annoying one. Yes, I'm annoying on purpose.
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... LMFAO. |
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| Serdones | Dec 11 2008, 11:28 PM Post #8 |
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[color=Insert your color here]Good laugh or bad laugh?[/color] |
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