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| Chuck Norris joke competition | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 27 2006, 11:23 AM (1,242 Views) | |
| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:09 PM Post #61 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:10 PM Post #62 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:10 PM Post #63 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:10 PM Post #64 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:12 PM Post #65 |
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:12 PM Post #66 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:12 PM Post #67 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:15 PM Post #68 |
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:15 PM Post #69 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:15 PM Post #70 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:16 PM Post #71 |
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:16 PM Post #72 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:16 PM Post #73 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:17 PM Post #74 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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| Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru | Feb 27 2006, 01:17 PM Post #75 |
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
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Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris. |
<center> When you can't run, when you can't hide... Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting... Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
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