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Chuck Norris joke competition
Topic Started: Feb 27 2006, 11:23 AM (1,242 Views)
Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.


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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
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