Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Rage Storm - forums. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
Chuck Norris joke competition
Topic Started: Feb 27 2006, 11:23 AM (1,244 Views)
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Harishima
Member Avatar
The Pyro
Upon birth, the nurse screamed, “Oh my god it’s Chuck Norris!” and immediately jumped him – this was the 3rd time he had sex
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Thantos
Member Avatar
Guns of the Patriots
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru
Member Avatar
Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
we are all taking these frtom the same site....

http://www.duckshit.com/chuck-norris-jokes/

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
<center>Posted Image
When you can't run, when you can't hide...
Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting...
Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus
Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Harishima
Member Avatar
The Pyro
chuck norriss lost his virginity before his dad
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru
Member Avatar
Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn't, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
<center>Posted Image
When you can't run, when you can't hide...
Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting...
Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus
Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Satoyaki
Member Avatar
Administrator
These are getting a little... WRONG
http://z6.invisionfree.com/rage_storm
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Seda 'the Kamasu' Kajiru
Member Avatar
Delenius Falcon Long Jhonson
meh...I just cut and pasted a whole page of them...
<center>Posted Image
When you can't run, when you can't hide...
Long Jhonson will be there...in the shadows....waiting...
Sanctuary of Seda "kamasu Kisseki" Kajirus
Internal Sanctum of Seda Kajirus
Posted Image
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Welcome to SpamLand amusement park · Next Topic »
Locked Topic