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'Til I Tear Your Walls | 'Til I Slave Your Hearts; Active | Closed | Mature
Topic Started: May 7 2012, 12:07 AM (614 Views)
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<BR>Many a year ago, I, Rowen Creed, had my parents stolen from me by a dirty and bloodthirsty creature titled the 'Erinyes'. They kill and feed on the souls of humans as if they are treats, their thirsts seeming to be rarely satisfied. They stalked upon our small home, and I watched like a coward on the inside as I could hear my parents' screams from the outside, screeching sounds that curdled my blood and shocked the tears away from my youthful eyes. When all fell silent, the monster stood at my open door, the lantern beside our doorway flicking against their eyes, showing their true unnatural irises. Without a touch of empathy resting on their face, they ran off, leaving me all alone in this world.

<br><br>I was but a child only in the midst of attempting to become a man, only thirteen years of age. I had always heard tales of the Erinyes, but I had never thought the tragedy would happen to me. How cruel were they to take two good people of sound mind away in such a manner? It was that night I grew bitter towards the horrific beings that invaded our lands. It was that night, my innocence cracked and I vowed to bring vengeance upon their very race.

<br><br>I had nothing left. My home was just a hut now. I took what I needed to, which was far from much, and I trekked onward. I was a boy, with not much guidance. All I had was a question. How can I defeat the Erinyes? I asked everyone. Many of them laughed right into my face, called me a foolish boy, but I only grew more determined, and I carried onward until an elder male with shaky hands spoke to me of a dark man with specific powers. He was not one to be messed with, but he had a deep grudge against the Erinyes, and had recruited a plethora of men to hunt after them. He cautioned me greatly, but I insisted I had nothing left to lose, and all I wanted was to fight against them. He informed me of the right path through the forests, to one of the biggest caves in our region. I was grateful to him, and then I was on my way. I did not waste any time.

<br><br>The dark man, Blagden, was more than just a man. He held strange powers from which he had acquired from others unbeknownst to our grounds, from some of the blackest realms. It was easy to see the hatred he had for the Erinyes. When I asked for his precise reason, he told me he did not like them stealing what was not theirs. I retrieved no other details, but I merely assumed it was the same story as my own.

<br><br>He did have a team of men who went after the Erinyes, all with revenge in their mind and hearts or merely those annoyed by these inhuman beings littering our land. I was a scrawny boy, but Blagden saw this odd potential in me. He got quite excitable over the power I could possess with his assistance, but it was for a steep price, one which I was naive enough to pay.

<br><br>If I gave him my soul, I would have the ability to rid this earth of the Erinyes, harnessing a power I had far beneath my layers.

<br><br>I accepted, and after a painful ritual I would never dare to repeat, I was Blagden's for the rest of my days. I did not see much harm in it at first. I was a boy, one who sought guidance, and with the great power I had now it seemed worth the trade. I trained with him and the other men, gaining strength and endurance for the power, the power to open portals to other dimensions, to the far ends of time and space, to rip open the faults in the stars, took much out of a mere mortal such as myself.

<br><br>That was my life. For more than ten years I discovered, fought, and banished the Erinyes into oblivion, a fate far worse than death, their cage a vast ebony space they could not escape from without my assistance. It was a job that satisfied yet always left me wanting more. I did not know if it was because there was always more out there to capture, or because what I craved was unbeknownst to me as of yet. I desperately desired finding the one who had taken my parents from me so long ago, but he was nowhere to be found. He would not escape my grasp though. It would be in due time that he would be punished for his wrong doings, just like the rest of them.

<br><br>I have never been out from under Bragden's sharp hand. If I disobey, the pain he can inflict on me is horrific. I've only done it once, and that was enough for me. Now, however, he is preoccupied, which has allowed my soulless being to roam with some sort of freedom, looking for stray Erinyes about the surrounding parts. I want to do this on my own for awhile, which makes tracking them more difficult, but I can surely manage. I do, in fact, take out my fair share in the forests, and it's not long before I find myself in a quaint town. I need rest, even though I hear word of another near by. I want to take care of it immediately, but I know at the energy rate I'm currently at, I'd never be able to pull it off. I brush it off, deciding I must regain myself before I bother. I can only hope they won't get far.

<br><br>While at a tavern, my ears pick up the information that a clairvoyant is in town, staying at the inn across the road. I'm instantaneously on the move, because someone of such power may be able to unlock where the Erinyes, which may be the last one in the area, might be. It's worth a shot. With my singular bag over my shoulder, I huff out of the bar and straight into the inn, where I had been planning on heading in due time as it were so that I may get some sleep. Ah, convenience. It's something I don't step into often. I make my way into the inn and ask for a room first and foremost, getting my key before I ask the clerk about the clairvoyant. With a wave of her wrinkled hand, she gives me the gist of the right direction, and as I turn I catch sight of a slender hooded female sitting at a lone table. A customer has just left her, and with hardly anyone else in sight, I step forward, ready to give her what might be her last client of the night.

<br><br>However, as she lifts her head, the gentle breeze from the ajar window blows against her candle, causing the flame to twist and rage, the fire bending enough to light up her eyes. That's when I see she is no average human clairvoyant, but an Erinyes in hiding. I know that what lies under that hood is ivory locks and acute ears. It will not fool me. I continue forward, my heavy boots light against the hardwood. I stop about a foot away from the edge of the table, and putting on boyish charm that I'm not sure is learned or bestowed, I mask any suspicion. There is nothing I can do about it tonight, for I am too weak, but playing with it a bit may prove intriguing.

<br><br>"Do you believe you could accommodate one last client, my lady?" I inquire as I move to sit across from it, my deep forest green orbs studying their face, gazing into the eyes that attempt to mask the monster it really is. I give it a smile across my scruffy face, my hands clasping in front of me for but a moment before I slowly hold my rough hand out to it, for it to touch and to read. It is rare for me to have a moment like this, to get this close without trying to send the creature to it's lifelong sentence to the dark. As I look at it, I'm reminded that some carry the faces of angels, but the harsh soul inside of them outweighs that immensely. My mind tells me the thing before me is ugly, even if my eyes tell me otherwise. "I would like to know what you see."
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<br>I stand beside the man's bed, having stolen away into his house while his new bride went to fetch watch from the stream. He sleeps, unaware of my presence, but I soon make it known, for within a moment, I leap onto the bed, mounting over his belly as if he was a stallion. He awakes immediately with a start form the motion, about to cry out before I press my hand to his mouth, quieting him. "Shhhh, Karan Norewood, lest I change my mind and snap your neck," I say. His eyes instantly fill with fear. "You know why I am here. You've grown sick with your sin." My eyes narrow, flickering in the dim-lighting from shades of coal to deep umber, back and forth again.

<br><br> "You could not be so foolish to think that your crime--of killing your brother to lie with his wife--would go unnoticed by the Erinyes." As I grit my teeth and proclaim his misdeed, he starts to struggle, so much that my hood falls, revealing my bone-white hair and tapered ears. This shock manages to quell his movement for a second, yet I know I cannot hold him for long. Without further words, I start the incantation. "Anha, Aveira Valdis Arae Raithi Idrik-Si, ohara di Reine di Vorsa, rekke yeri khado di nhare…"

<br><br>The words are the same every time.

<br><br>I, Avaris, daughter of the Great Haidēs, do henceforth cast off your human shell for the wickedness you have committed. Let this next form be new earth for you to build different values, that shall this time, not interfere with the goodliness your ruler of the skies envisioned for mortal kind. Your felony will thus be paid with not recreation, but good life. I release you now.

<br><br>As I speak, his soul is pulled like a worm from the mud, out of his vessel and into me, for my insides are the cauldron from which his soul is reborn. But as I am sucking in his glowing spirit, the door suddenly opens, his wife standing in the frame. She drops her pail with a scream, and I've finished. His body, his husk, dries into dust and ashes. Without giving the woman a second glance, I jump off the bed and leave through the window again, breaking into a run as I hear her screams after me. "Monster! DEMON!" As my feet repeatedly hit the ground, taking me farther away with each second, I feel his soul reassembling, rising within me, and finally, I expel it. The silvery shimmer shrieks from my mouth and flies away from my own body, over the fields and into the sky like a shooting star. And then it falls back from the clouds, the light now taking on the shape of a stag. It has not materialized yet with a true body, but it comes to me for guidance. I lift my hand, placing it on the stag's translucent brow.

<br><br>"You do not deserve to take on such a noble form," I say honestly, tilting my head, but I stroke its ear. "So you must live up to it, you understand? Be good. Meritorious." His eyes answer me, and with that, the spirit is sent off, a great distance away, where he will start his life over anew.

<br><br>I've finished my work for the day, but only my work for my Lord. Now I must do my work as an inhabitant of the mortal realm, and that means I must earn money to pay for lodging. As there are those who would hunt Erinyes, it is never safe to make camp out in the open. I earn my keep by playing a diviner of humans. I have some reputation in this parts as a sibyl named Renata (a good choice, for it means reborn), so it is not hard to collect the few gold coins. An Erinyes can know your past, your finished sins, the moment they touch you, but the future…we only see shadows, glimmers. It can change if a human does something unexpected at their crossroad. But for the most part, it will happen. Thus, I make for a skilled prophets and yet I am exceedingly careful to never be too good.

<br><br>I travel through the woods, knowing precisely where the inn is. I travel alone. That is how we live. I've known of other Erinyes, and we are almost all always on fair terms, but we live for our work, and we cannot work together. Thus we remain separate, at the most, only stars occasionally crossing paths. It's better this way, to stay detached. And of course, any contact with humans ends poorly. If they find out what I truly am, they either cower in fear for the stories they've heard of us only being soul-eaters and nothing else, never avengers or punishers, only antagonists. We are the monsters of their dreams. Therefore there are also those that would slay us upon discovery, so I do not reveal my identity unless it is with someone I'm about to reshape.

<br><br>I sit down at a table at the inn, and the pattern is always the same. People are…afraid to approach me at first--this still, even when they believe me to be human. Then one brave, usually more desperate human, comes and sits with me, and asks if I might help them. After he or she starts it, the rest find courage to come to me as well. But I don't believe their fear comes from what they might hear, but what I might know, just by looking at them. They are, by nature, a corrupt race, after all, and there are few left who are innately good. The pasts I see are almost always speckled with red, but I know that there is little reason for people to seek me otherwise.

<br><br>Just as I think there is no one left and I can now retire to my room, one last person arrives. A man with seemingly unwarranted confidence. I watch as he takes a seat facing me. I never refuse a patron. But for some unknown reason, I feel my walls thicken, my barriers tense. I ignore it. "You've already sat down," I respond with stoic glance, but then smile welcomingly. "If your lordship does so request." I extend my hands and takes his in mine and then--

<br><br>I feel a jolt of pain, of burning, as if I've just attempted to pluck Hell itself from the Universe. I would have wrenched my hands away if I was able to, but for this one moment, our flesh had fused, and I was linked to the life of his body. Only, there was no real life. A heart that beat without consequence of time and age, blood that pulsated through cold veins. I'm pulled into it. Everything…shrouded in darkness….everything dark…fallen, incomplete, pitch blackness of a continuously unwinding labyrinth. Even my immortal body aches, producing emotionless tears from this throbbing of my own soul that one single touch from him has produced. But I make no sound. He is no ordinary human. I want to ask what he is, but I'm struck by fear, this constant screaming that I must run from this man. But there is no other indication. I sense no dark evil magic, no thaumaturge from him. With this feeling, my curiosity overrules my sense, and I linger.

<br><br>Still holding his hand and letting the last of my tears slip away, I gaze back into his eyes. He is dangerous. I choose a future I had foretold from someone else, a man wandering after the death of his wife. I know not at all if it could hold any truth for this stranger. But I cannot see the predicting shadows with him, because shadows need light, even the smallest bit, and with him, it is all darkness. Not even a past. "I see a stranger far, far away from his roots, dedicated to quest but never knowing the true search." My throat smothers. "Take care at your next crossroads. You would do wise to re-evaluate those you believe to trust." I pull back, but do not stand up. I say nothing of the bleakness I've seen. My words are bland. "That is all--" I release his hand, but at that very last second, his touch gives me one last bit of information. "--Rowen Creed."

<br><br>With that, I turn out my open palm for payment.
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<BR>My eyes do not leave the creature's face as it grabs a hold of me, attempting to read that face, those eyes. There's something wrong. I can see that. I can even see tears expelling from its eyes. I've been to average human clairvoyants before, and they simply see nothing. They try to lie, appalled that they can't really read me, but I see right through them. My lack of a soul makes it difficult to read what my life has been, and what it could be. I stopped trying, as much as I wanted to hear a glimpse of the idea that I might be whole one day, it was never to be. I know that's impossible now. Blagden has told me I am his until my last breath of life. I won't be free until I'm dead.

<br><br>I was such a stupid and desperate child.

<br><br>It looks up at me, right into my eyes, windows into the soul. I am nearly positive that my eyes are duller, bleaker, darker, because of my lack of one. I'm not entirely sure if they were lighter when I was child. I feel that there is a sort of melancholy to them, as much as I fight it, as much as I put on a grin. It's as if my irises crave a soul to feed off of. To me, the being's eyes are artificial, merely a disguise for what they truly are. The true color of their eyes, an unnaturally hue of highly saturated blues and purples, maybe even pinks, is something spectacular. I loathe admitting such a thing, but it is hard to deny. However, I only need to think of who owns these pigments and know not to admire anything on a monster.

<br><br>It gives me lies as an answer. That's not what it saw. I trust no one, and I know I search for vengeance. It's a generic story that it's giving me, possibly even something it's already used. It hardly has any heart in it's tone... Though honestly I question if they even have hearts. As it lets me go, it ends its words with my name. They always manage to get out my name. That's all my vessel will give. A name. It means nothing. I look at it with a subtle smile, "Do you believe me to be a fool?" I inquire as I lean in slightly. "You saw nothing. They always see nothing."

<br><br>I don't hesitate to grab onto it's wrist with a rough hand, "I know what you are, my lady, if you can even be considered as such." I choose not to tear off her hood. I don't need a panic from the few left in the lobby. They pay no attention to what I'm doing to her. They are too wrapped up in their own worlds to care for another's well being, only their own. "Your kind do not escape my attention." I do not fear it, or any of them. They feed upon mortal souls. I have none, therefore there is nothing they can do in that aspect.

<br><br>"I, Rowen Creed, shall rid of you and your wretched ways, creature." I know I don't have it in me, but I believe that I can try. I'm not about to just let it go if I can help it. With one hand keeping a firm hold of her, I draw the other one out to the side, and by sheer will I open the portal to the dark poisonous world where I banish the Erinyes. You can see the muscles tense in my hand, running up my arm, and soon enough black fills even the tiniest veins in my neck, crawling up like a disease as my eyes grow cloudy with a dark gray film. As much as I struggle, as much as it causes my breath to labor, the portal will hardly open wider than a few inches, and I am forced to close it with the drop of my hand.

<br><br>I curse beneath my breath as the veins disappear and my eyes clear, though they are bloodshot now. I glare over at the monster. "You are fortunate that I've already taken out so many of your kind today." I give its frail wrist a squeeze before I pull it back. I don't have the means to imprison it, to keep it with me until morning when I can do with it what I desire. "You may run, but you will be found. I can promise you that." I will track it down and take it out as soon as I discover it. I never let them get away unless I have truly lost all sight of them.
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<br>He knows I was lying. Then there is something truly diseased about him, and he is fully aware of it. It was his choice. An erroneous one. Before I ask why this Rowen Creed would bother to approach a psychic then, he makes his intentions quite clear, seizing my wrist. I immediately jerk it back, although his fingers still wrap around it. "A hunter." I grunt, eyes focusing on his face. Of all the humans on this earth, these hunters are the most miserable, them and their quest deprived of all thought. I have heard of such types, and the reason behind my inability to read him is suddenly clear. He is the wretched one. "You know nothing. You've traded yourself for emptiness," I retort coldly, yet with all the fire of the Inferno worlds beneath our feet. I shall take no abuse from one who has naught but a name. He's lost the one thing that makes mortals beautiful, the fundamental thing of all living beings.

<br><br>Suddenly, he moves to attack, his grip on me tightening, but I'm too stunned to move. Although I've heard of what these hunters can do, I've never seen one actually perform his work, and as his venomous technique spreads through his appearance, I see the air rip, the seam of darkness opening. I can hear the screams of my brethren from within, their ache, their longing, this endless torture this monster of a once-human has bestowed on them because of his polluted mind. I feel a cold chill down my immortal bone but I do not move, for I see him struggling, and I remember--I had sensed no real danger. He blasphemes as the small gateway is sealed once more, telling me that I am blessed that he has banished many Erinyes today, leaving him with little power left. "You are no hero, Rowen Creed." I wrench my hand away.

<br><br>He promises that he will find me no matter what, stop at nothing for my own destruction. Fury masks any fear I might've had, fury for those he has already taken. "And I promise you this, mindless wanderer," I snap back, leaping to my feet, but the sole of one boot meets the wooden bench, and for this one instant, I am taller. "Shadows pool in your eyes, your mind. You are a blind man whose only friend is darkness..." I lean forward. "A most misguided mortal, and you have my pity," I say through gritted teeth, my condolence tainted with disdain. "If it is the slaughter of all my breed that you seek, you will never know happiness. You…" I grab his hand as roughly as he handled me, and give taunting smile as my fingers walk across his open palm.
<br><br>
"…forever treading on a corpse." I drop his hand and my look of pleasantries turns to a glare as I lean forward, my voice lowering. "Your own." I stand up, lifting my chin. "Come and seek me if you wish," I challenge him, knowing he has every intention of taking this proposal, and that it is possible that I may be sent to join the others he has so callously condemned to a life of nothinghood. But I cannot falter. I am the child of the Great Haidēs and I will bow to no human, even on brink of death. "No matter what you do to me--" I place my foot back on the ground and stand before him, steadfast. "You. Will. Fall." I swear it, lower lip grim and resolute as I hold my gaze for but one moment longer before I walk away.
<br><br>
"I need no prophesy to see that," I mutter as I pass by the tables, reaching up to tug my hood closer around me. I leave the inn, the place no longer a refuge.
<br><br>
---
<br><br>
Come sunrise, I awake in a tree where I had taken shelter--it is the safest place in untouched nature to sleep. I did not bother to go far from the tavern from the night before, knowing that I cannot fight fate, and if the hunter is meant to find me, he will. I will not go out of my way to avoid him, nor will I surrender. We Erinyes have only two purposes in life. Punishing, and waiting. I climb down from the tree and set foot on my journey again to the next town where I must bring justice, but just as I touch the ground, my body throws me to the right--just narrowly dodging a knife that instantly plants into the bark of the tree. I turn quickly on my feet, only to see a man…and with his stance and fitted clothing, I know he is more than a common thief.
<br><br>
"A woman," he remarks upon seeing my face, and then laughs. "Then this should be no trouble." He cocks his head and whistles. "Men!" From beyond the trees behind him, more humans appear. I step back once, slowly, attempting to deter him with words….knowing I have no other defense than what this body can do if they are not guilty of punishable sins. I cannot take the soul of any human. "You and your men are skilled. Not many can slip past my perception," I begin. It helped little that my thoughts had been occupied by the hunter.
<br><br>
These words entertain him further, spurring more laughter from both he and his followers. "A humorous woman."
<br><br>
"What do you want?"
<br><br>
"Hand over your possessions."
<br><br>
I can't make quarrel until I know for certain that they are guilty of sins. Erinyes can only shape the souls of murderers. I clench my teeth and toss my bags over. He smiles, and turns to face his men. "Boys?"
<br><br>
My mind tells me to run but the second I turn, something comes hurling through the air my way, but towards my legs. A meteor hammer, it winds around my limbs, binding them and causing me to fall into the dirt. The leader approaches me, grabbing my shoulder to roll me onto my back. He smiles, pulling me up to stand easily. "You'll sell for three pounds of silver at the pleasure house."
<br><br>
From his touch, I know--I cannot take his soul. It's done no crime punishable by Erinyes' magic. "Unhand me, you lousy churl," I spit in his face. Provoked, he drops me against the ground, hard. "Little bitch!" he snarls, and as my hands are free, I struggle back. But he strikes me across the face, causing my lip to speckle with golden ichor, the blood of an immortal. It shocks him, no doubt, his eyes widening. "What…are you?" he breathes, and I take this chance to grab a stick from beside me, and sparing no kindness, ram it into one of his sockets, while reaching for the knife on his belt. He lets out a howling scream as I remove his blade and quickly begin to saw through the ropes of the meteor hammer.
<br><br>
"KILL HER!!!!" he screams through the pain, and his men swiftly approach.
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<BR>"I traded myself for the power to diminish your race." I spout with all the confidence that it will be done, even though on the inside I loathe myself for making such a deal. This shall forever be my life. I will hunt the Erinyes until my dying breath. With my soul in the hands of Blagden though, who's to say I won't be able to last longer than that. My life is consumed with finding and imprisoning these creatures. It's good work, to be certain, but it's tiresome and it's endless. There is nothing else I can do with this hand I've been given. I cannot live a normal mortal life.

<br><br>That's difficult with no soul and a man of pure night having his ever tightening hold on you.

<br><br>As it pulls away from me, it states how I am not a hero, and I scoff at this. "I am far greater than you, monster." The sound of my parents' screams suddenly fill my ears, and I clench my jaw. "Many are." I am bitter. I am usually bitter towards the Erinyes, these creatures who I have hardly spent more than five minutes with at one time. We do not waste time quarreling, and we surely never speak as friends. They realize I have no soul to take, and I go about stealing them from the world, locking them away for the rest of eternity. I smother a growl as it calls me mindless, saying that I have it's pity. How dare they? I do not want their pity. Even with no soul, I am not less than these heartless and conscienceless beings.

<br><br>I am not more, but I am not less.

<br><br>I hold steady as it grabs my hand, my eyes piercing into the gentle curves of its face as it mocks me, informing me that I walk upon my own dead vessel. That's a description I had never given much thought before, because it disturbs me. Am I just that? Am I merely a lifeless body, puppeted by black magic? I push these thoughts back and I swiftly stand up, not about to let it have the high ground for long. I tower above it, the creature's tiny frame laughable. To think it is capable of so much death. "I will find you, my lady. You have given me a more targeted goal for the time being and for that, I thank you." I ignore its other words, not letting them affect me. It can say what it wants, but at this point, killing that particular Erinyes would make me quite pleased.

<br><br>I keep an eye on her until she has left the establishment, keeping note of which direction she walks towards through the windows before I turn and retire to my temporary room. I will never be able to rid of her in my current state. I must rest, and the earlier I acquire that, the earlier I may go after the infuriating savage.

<br><br>____

<br><br>The moment I place down the rag I used to wipe the day's wear off my face, I feel an all too familiar presence behind me.

<br><br>Blagden.

<br><br>I slowly turn around to face him. It's not his true physical form. It's a transparent spirit in his image that he may speak through, allowing him to be in two places at once. "Blagden." I greet with the nod of my head, taking in the form of my master. He has not changed in the more than ten years I have known him. He is centuries old, the black magic bestowed upon him causing his life to be immortal. He is a tall man, with sharp shoulders and long spindly fingers. His skin is milky and takes on the look of porcelain, but it is far from breakable. His eyes are a frozen blue, the black ring around his irises a gate separating the color from the bright white of the rest of his eye. His hair is always swept back when his hood is not present, each strand as dark as the blackest soul. His features are sharp, and there is something about the way he holds himself that can allow him to appear either charming or menacing, whichever he chooses.

<br><br>"Rowen." He greets me with a wide grin. I haven't displeased him. He's fine with my wandering. I am still doing what he purposed me to do. He comes closer to me, and I attempt not to noticeably brace myself. "What have you gotten done today?"

<br><br>"Four stolen from this earth, sire." I pause, "It would've been five if my energy had not depleted." The idea of the Erinyes with the fair female visage irritates me. I greatly look forward to hunting it down tomorrow.

<br><br>"You let one get away?" His dark brow cocks at me. "You could have imprisoned her until morning." He's sour but I know he's known me long enough to know why. "I know you live for the chase, dear Rowen, for the challenge, but I don't want their demises delayed longer than they have to be... Unless it's for tortuous reasons." A wicked grin falls upon his lips. He does love to torture others. He takes sick pleasure out of it. Sometimes I feel I might be the same, especially with my next retort.

<br><br>"I warned her. I wanted her to fear the moment I found her, to wait for it. She knows of what I can do. She heard those before her. She'll be gone and suffocating before the sun hits the middle of the sky tomorrow." I don't realize I'm personalizing her by her gender until Blagden looks highly inquisitive.

<br><br>"Her?" An idea forms in his darkened mind. "It has been awhile since I've seen the monsters exiled through your means, Rowen. When you find this one, I command you call me forth so that I may watch." This is merely for entertainment, but I nod firmly. I don't say no to Blagden. I have to be grateful he cannot see through my eyes whenever he pleases. It is only when I call for him.

<br><br>There's this moment of silence that weighs on me. I know he has come here for more than just checking upon me, but I don't give him the chance to say it yet. "Blagden, am I only but a corpse fueled by dark magic?" I inquire, the creature's words pressing on me. They've been heavy on me ever since she said those words. I drop my eyes down for but a moment before I bring them back to his pale face, his lips forming a small circle as he turns his face slightly, curious about my question.

<br><br>"You, Rowen, are surely more than that. Don't you feel it? Does your heart not beat? Does the blood not pump through your veins? Do you not have the breath of life filling your lungs? Does it not fuel your mind?" He walks towards me, nearly gliding across the floor. I find him standing right in front of me, searching my face. "You are very much alive. The gift of life has never left this body. Merely a soul. A soul within my safe keeping." He narrows his eyes, "Why would make you think such a thing?"

<br><br>I inhale deeply through my nose, taking comfort in his words. He's right. I am a living body, a living person. My soul lives too. It's merely not within me. It was wrong. Of course it was wrong. "The Erinyes I let escape. It was what she said to me." I don't allow myself to be ashamed of my thoughts. He understands the guilt they can press upon you. "I must admit it perturbed me."

<br><br>"You mustn't let them get the best of you, Rowen. A steel heart is something you will possess someday. You are almost there, but there are still fleshy areas that weaken you. Don't allow them to." A slow simper starts to form on his lips, "Fortunately, you will have plenty of time to cultivate an invincible heart... An eternity even."

<br><br>Those words take me off guard. What is he talking about? "Eternity? I am merely a mortal, Blagden. Eternity is in your cards, but they do not brush against mine." A sudden fear washes over me as his smirk turns into a wide and cruel grin.

<br><br>"That is why I am came here, my dear Rowen. You are now of peak age and strength, so I went about transforming your soul into an immortal one." Suddenly, a soul, my soul, appears in his hands. Usually, it's white when I see it, a blinding white. They say the darker the person, the blacker the soul. I was only an innocent thirteen year old boy when my soul was sold to Blagden, and since it is not mine, the color has unchanged. Until now, that is. Now, it is a shimmering gold, light glimmering softly off the edges. It lights up Blagden's face, the warm yellow a striking difference against the cold ivory of his skin. "You will live on for forever, Rowen. You'll be able to serve me for the rest of your days, mark my words."

<br><br>My eyes goes wide, and soon I feel them gloss over as my throat swells. "Immortal." I state as I huff out a breath. That was my escape. When I perished, I had hoped I would be free, my soul right with me, so I could move on to my next life. That hope is gone however. He has just placed a darker curse upon my shoulders. I am to live on his earth for infinity, until the end of days. Possibly even beyond that. Not only that, but I must endure without a proper soul in tact. I manage to swallow. "What if I were to obtain my soul? Would I still continue to be an immortal entity?"

<br><br>He laughs lowly and nods once as my soul disappears with the flick of his hand, "Yes, though the chances of that soul being yours again are atrociously slim. It is going to go unchanged, Rowen. You will go on and on. Nothing will be able to kill you. You are impenetrable." He seems extremely pleased with his work, and why shouldn't he be? He has me for the rest of his long and possibly never ending life. He gives me a faint smile, "Don't forget that I want to see the show." He states before he vanishes from my sight in a cloud of ebony vapors.

<br><br>I merely stand there until I blankly collapse onto my bed.

<br><br>I cannot recall if I ever truly slept. I have no dreams to split apart what is reality and what is a sleeping state. I have not dreamed since I was thirteen years old. No matter. It seems useless now anyway.

<br><br>I have become everlasting, and it's hardly the romantic notion everyone believes it to be.

<br><br>____

<br><br>I am up with the sun the next morning. I am ready and out the door before even two minutes has passed. I have food with me, so I gnaw on stale bread as I tread into the familiar forests. It could not be far. The Erinyes are otherworldly but they do in fact sleep, something I know for a fact. I find it to not be long before I discover a set of footprints that could have only been made by a creature of her small stature. I follow in their general direction, the footsteps disappearing once they hit beds of moss, and that's when I hear a commotion up ahead.

<br><br>I skulk up upon the scene, moving from tree to tree quietly. I come to see a group of rugged men going after none other than my target. She's obviously injured who seems to be the leader, but as the men are quickly advancing towards her, she is doing nothing. Why does it not take their souls? Why does it not stop their hearts and steal their lives with its magic? I narrow my orbs at this. Has it gone mad? It cannot die, so the men attacking it would only continuously injure but never truly kill it. It would be a fruitless venture. I'm not sure they even know she's an Erinyes. Why were they praying on what they thought was an innocent woman anyhow? All in all, none of that even matters, because in the end they are only delaying the end I have planned for it. With that in mind, I draw my sword, forged by the dark arts for me by Blagden, a black snake running up the bottom of the blade, and I sneak up behind them.

<br><br>I take them by surprise, which comes to my advantage. They soon forget about the creature as they focus on me, the only real threat since the Erinyes won't kill them itself. I injure some of them badly, but I do not kill them. I've never killed a human just because I can. Any blood on my hands was purely due to self defense, besides animals, which were strictly for food and pelt for myself. These men are no different. I will scare them off, but I am not about to take their lives. Most are gone in a matter of moments, others are slower due to the injuries I have inflicted on them, and soon there is one left still coming after me, the leader who now only possesses one eye. He runs right at me, and I suddenly feel the need to test what Blagden told me last night. I put my guard down, and I allow him to stab me right in the heart.

<br><br>I expect to feel cold, or empty, but Blagden would not lie to me about such a thing. After all, I tested it. The knife goes right into my chest as if I have been stabbed in the arm. The pain is there, but it is not deadly ache. I have lost no ounce of life. I pull his knife out of me, and the man stares at me with a single large eye as I continue to stand there, unwavering, my chest soon healing. "Get out of here." I scowl at him, a few of the other men still watching, all flabbergasted by my inability to die. "And don't you dare bother a traveling lady, or any lady for that matter, or it'll come back to haunt you." I warn, and with that, the man backs away and heads off with the rest, limping the entire time as I had cut a huge gash into his leg earlier.

<br><br>Once they have emptied the land that I can see, I turn to face the creature. "We meet again." I sheathe my sword, for I have no need for it anymore. I step towards her, my hands staying at my sides. I have no intentions of banishing her yet. "Why did you not save yourself, my lady? Your kind have never seemed to mind taking lives before." Not only am I curious about this, but I'm also trying to distract myself from the fact that I am no doubt an immortal being with no hopes of escaping my dismal prison.
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<br>I free myself in the nick of time and manage to evade one dagger, but I know I cannot fend them off for long. I have to get away…but there are so many. They cannot kill me, but no immortal would wish for injury, thus I fight as if for my life. And yet they have the advantage. I know nothing of the ways of combat, my skills in this area focused on what my magic can achieve. Magic that cannot be used against those who have not committed specific crimes, like these men. I'm only armed with the man's knife, nothing compared to what they would wield to end me. What can I--suddenly, no one other than Rowen Creed appears. It's the mockery of heroism as he takes the men down almost easily. He doesn't kill…no, that is something he saves for the Erinyes. Maybe he doesn't truly kill my brethren, but he dooms them to a fate worse than death. His hands are not white. To my eyes, they bleed not red, but the gold of my immortal kin.

<br><br>Soon, it is only the leader left. But to my astonishment, Rowen's body suddenly relaxes…he lets the criminal impale him in the chest, a death blow and my eyes, flickering with the morning sun that trickles through the leaves of the forrest, widen, expecting him to fall. He does not. The man is as shocked as I, and Rowen removes the knife. I don't need to see his wound mending itself to know what has changed with Rowen since I met him--the golden ichor on the blade is unmistakable. Between last night and this morning, he has gained eternity.

<br><br>He allows the leader to escape but I have forgotten about him already, mesmerized by the familiar flaxen fluid coating the man's blade. I barely hear Rowen's words to him, for immediately, my mind begins to cloud with anger, wrath. I'm trembling with it as he turns back to face me, sliding that loathsome sword with the most ill airs into his scabbard. He questions my actions, but no, it is I that question his, for whatever he has done to obtain this new form, I know it was not virtuous work. It is never, unless it is your birth right, as it is mine.

<br><br>I turn sharply away from him at first, almost unable to stare at him and believe that this has happened, that this unforgivable act has slipped right past me. "You…" I start, and then snap back towards him, eyes ablaze with ferocity unparalleled. "What have you done?!" I demand to know, stepping closer. Despite my fury, there is something of desperation in my voice…the rage and vexation nearly like the distress a friend would feel upon learning she'd lost someone to darkness. One of the greatest myths humans have about Erinyes is that we have no compassion. But we do. We have greater sympathy than they could ever know, because we are untouched by the horrors they go through. They are to be pitied, cared for.

<br><br>But this one, this former man in front of me, has willingly given up the little good in his life he had left.

<br><br>"You've lost your mortality," I say, voice almost shaking in pure exasperation before it rises, my tone volcanic before it spews ashes and flames. "Did you purposely seek to contradict me?!" I pull even closer, allowing little distance between us, my words demanding to be heard. "What is your battle, Rowen Creed?!" What is this pointless purpose?! "Why…why do you do these things!?! " My brows knit together.

<br><br>"You may believe you have triumphed, but my words have only been proven true," I speak, ivory teeth gnashing. "Not a day has passed and you've already fallen, further than I predicted." My eyes do not leave his, piercing into them. "You have not escaped my description. You've not eluded your grave." Regardless of what he thinks, it is not true. "The world becomes your coffin, one you will never, ever escape," I declaim, jaw tensing, unable to grasp that he has accomplished something so destructive in such a small time. "Call me a monster, but you are a skeleton…stripped of everything, even your flesh. " I step back, lips pressing together. "You've lost everything that makes you human. "

<br><br>I gaze at the being in front of me, so devoid of humanly glow and essence. "What are you now, Rowen Creed?" I shake my head, almost in disbelief. But then my vision travels to his hands, where I know he will summon the darkness to take me, and the contempt augments once more. "Not human, not animal…you are even beneath your most despised Erinyes," I utter in hushed voice. "You've no soul. No existence. No goodliness left. Even I, the despicable, know this." My throat growls on that negative term, remembering what he thinks of me, even though he does not know, or even try to know, our story.

<br><br>"And now, you've come to finish your job." I lower my hands, lowering my chin in dignified resignation. Even if I elude him now, I know he will not stop chasing me. And he's immortal now, untouchable, because our rules do not apply to him. There cannot be victory in my future against him. I'm not one to surrender so easily, but I'm no fool, either. He's created an unbreakable cycle that will only end when I join the brothers and sisters he's sentenced before me. It's now, or eventually, and I don't want to wait for my verdict. If I was more spiteful, I'd take comfort in the idea that I now know Rowen Creed is a condemned man. But I don't. It's not in my nature, and it would be to no profit.

<br><br>My apprehension to this fate he has chosen for me shines through, however, lips twisting into haughty scowl. "I welcome you to it." My fingers curl into fists, nails digging into my palms. "And, to answer your previous inquiry…" My neck stiffens, tongue now laced with a lie that will make his task all the quicker. If he's going to end it now, I'd rather he be swift. Let him think what he will in my last moments. I don't see that I could change his mind ever, especially not now. "…my belly is simply too full of human souls to partake in any other."
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<BR>The creature is absolutely furious at me, accusing me of bringing my immortality unto myself. Is she mad? How could it ever believe I would want this? Yes, many a mortal has dreamed of living forever, some even go insane searching for it, but I have never wanted such a cruel fate. Even as a complete man, I would not desire it. You think it would be so wonderful, when really you don't think of the grand scheme of things. Life, eternal, forever. There is no end. You don't live for two hundred years, or five hundred, or a thousand. You live for the rest of days, with no break, no peace. You watch all those around you die as you live on. You outlive generation after generation. Everything becomes of less importance, everything has less beauty, when you know you'll be experiencing it for eons upon eons. I believe the only people who want immortality are those who never truly stop to think about it.

<br><br>She won't shut her mouth. A scowl raises over my lips as her words berate me. I urge to rip her tongue out. How dare she assume? Does she truly think I went to acquire eternal life after our meeting, in the dead of night? Does she think of me so deranged that I, a man with only emptiness inside, would want what has been forced upon me? The creature is so incredibly wrong, it would be laughable. I am in no mood to laugh however. The rage in me is building with each vicious word it spews at me. It even tells me I'm lower than they are, and I have to turn away from her for a moment, bowing my head down as I feel my eyes burn with tears of fury. They are the only tears I can muster. I can't cry out of sadness or longing, or even happiness. Only anger. I'm incapable of anything else.

<br><br>She finally answers my question after telling me she wants me to banish her, most likely knowing running is fruitless, informing me that she was merely too full of human souls. I honestly couldn't have guessed it any differently. Any other answer would deem an Erinyes as good, and that's something I know they are not. That subject is not something I care about anymore however. No. Her earlier words nag at me, tearing at my barren insides like demons crawling and clawing at the underside of my flesh. How dare she.

<br><br>I suddenly turn back to her and step forward, closing that distance between us. I wrap my large hand around her frail neck and slam her up against the nearby tree, "You believe that I want this?!" I growl as my grip on her throat tightens. I know she won't die, so I don't worry over the strength I put into it. "You believe I wanted to imprison myself?! You believe I wanted to encase myself in this empty void of a life for eternity?!" I shout at her, my accented voice coarse as all of my anger towards what Blagden has done to me comes through.

<br><br>I become more intimate as I pull my body closer, only an inch away from hers, though I'm off slightly to the side, my face drawing even nearer as I lean in, my hot breath on her cheek. "I didn't want this, creature! I didn't ask for this punishment. My only escape was taken away from me. It's gone. I have nothing. I am destined to be a hollow vessel for the rest of days, cretin, and you think that's what I desired?!" My breath is ragged as I step away from her, my palm going out to form the portal to her demise. "You are so very wrong, monster." My eyes go gray as the power runs through my veins, even more prominently than last night. "Blagden, I call thee forth to watch a treacherous animal be imprisoned for an infinite time." I murmur, so low that I'm merely mouthing the words and speaking them in my mind. I feel his presence inside me in an instant, and before my portal can grow any larger, he stops me.

<br><br>"Rowen! Halt this at once!" He growls in my mind, his voice so full of venom I close the portal without hesitation, though my body stays in it's powered state, ready to open it again at any moment. "We will not be punishing this one this way. No. I have something more vicious in mind for her. I will be needing you to bring her to me."

<br><br>I was not about to argue with him regarding a harsher torture for this one, for my loathing for her grows by the second, but his latter request is not something I'm pleased with. "My lord, that is a journey worth a couple of nights. It will take me away from my task. I have others of her kind to execute all across this land. What makes her so spe-"

<br><br>"Don't you dare argue with me, boy!" He interrupts me with a voice like a snake, sending a bitter chill down my spine, the icy cold spreading across my body. "Don't mind the others. I want this one. Do not question it. Merely listen to me, or else I will show you what it's like to be empty! Do you understand?" With that threat, a sudden pain comes over my entire body. I grit my teeth, my eyes switching to a black as deep as a lunar eclipse. My body becomes rigid as I refuse to get down on my hands and knees in front of the Erinyes, though the pain is nearly unbearable. A horrid screeching sound fills my ears as it feels like a literal fire is burning at my core and rapidly spreading. It has to stop. I need it to stop.

<br><br>"Yes, I understand! I will bring her to you as soon as I can. No distractions, my liege." The pain subsides as I soon as I utter my first word. I take in a shuttering breath as my body manages to relax, but I close my eyes tightly, awaiting the last of Blagden's orders.

<br><br>"I shall grant you a rope, one of my dark magic, to bind her to you. She will be unable to escape you for she will be forbidden to go more than ten meters away from you. Treat her however you wish. You must get her to me or the invisible chain will never be broken, and I am sure you do not want to spend the rest of your eternal existence in her midst. I will see you in good time, my dear dear Rowen." With that, I feel his presence weigh off of my mind and as my eyes open, they are clear. Though I am bitter over my new appointed mission, I have no other choice but to go through with it. I never have a choice. I am fated to do Blagden's bidding for life and beyond.

<br><br>Without hesitation, I step towards the Erinyes again, my hand moving out to hover over her wrist before I release my power coated with Blagden's own, the smoky trail wrapping around both of our wrists before disappearing. "I have been commanded by my lord to bring you to him. We are bound until that is done." I inform her in a strict voice, my scruffy jaw tense. "You've been spared for now." I spat with malice before I take out my compass and hold it up. We are facing north, so as I put it away, I start to walk in that direction. That is where Blagden's sanctum resides. It'll take many suns and moons to get there, but get there we must. "You might as well follow behind or his magic will drag you instead." I warn her as I reach the ten foot mark, my eyes their darkest of green as I continue to stalk forward. Oh, how badly I wanted to be rid of her, and now it's as if Blagden is torturing me with her presence. What could he want with her? She is merely a lowly Erinyes. What could make her an alternative? From what I have seen, she is nothing precious, nor is she anything worse.
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<br>Like a viper whose tail has been stomped on, he lashes out on me immediately, giving little mercy. But I knew what to expect when I tread on this venomous path, and despite his hand going to crush at my pipes, making it difficult to breathe, I do not look away from those eyes. He tells me he never asked to be an immortal. Then…how did this…who could have done this? Who had the power to turn humans immortal? Who was this dark stranger, shrouded in evil magic, turning the lives of mortals inside out, taking away from them, making them grotesque and distorted? Rowen's fury is honest--any fool could tell he truly did not want this, that immortality was thrust upon him. But why? To make it so that he would forever be able to hunt down my kind? Whoever was behind all of this truly must despise the Erinyes, a hunter who has gone mad with his power, letting it branch out to others.

<br><br>I say nothing on this, however. There was a time when mortals may have called me sweet in temperament, but those days are only a feather from the past, drifting along the my path behind me, shuffling after, but it's never quite the same. After a while, I simply gave up in a way. The Erinyes name has only grown blacker as time has passed. No one speaks well of us anymore, and those who have a shred of doubt realize there must be hunters for a reason, and they banish any kind thinking towards us. There is none who will see past our blood-stained name any longer. I do not try to make people see--the years have worn down that will in me, down to the bone and sinews.

<br><br>As Rowen steps away from me, I breathe through my nose and tilt my head back, a critical look touching my face. Creature, cretin, monster… "These words suit your tongue so much the better," I respond as he readies my demise. "I'm glad you lost your false chivalry before my end." Calling me "lady" when he believes me so far from such…no, this is how I prefer it. Frank, straightforward. Before anyone else gets misled.

<br><br>He begins his spell, dark particles gathering in the air to form the doorway to my destruction, when suddenly, Rowen stops. There's…something going on in his mind, and I see his eyes turn pitch, something snap inside of him. Erinyes believe that the soul is made of woven gold strings (some intertwined with red ones of fate) that are a human's morality…that each time someone does a bad thing, a string is cut, like breaking a bone of the soul. Once a human breaks too many, he is beyond goodness. With no bones, his soul crawls along.

<br><br>But Rowen has no soul.

<br><br>I don't understand him. With his refusal of immortality…the dead look in his face hidden with his anger when he was about to banish me…all of these things point towards a man who knows that he is better than this. And yet still, he toils in this black line of work…he's…lost. Maybe I do understand him after all. I know what it's like to lose something that just changes everything around you. Drains the warmth from the hearth, the calming scents of victuals, beauty, color from sunsets and song from wind. I know.

<br><br>Suddenly, he is back to himself, and he moves swiftly to grab my wrist, a murky haze snaking around it before vanishing--but that doesn't stop me from seizing the veiled rope, my fingers curling around it as I try to wrench it off, but it only pulls tighter. It burns me, and when I pull my hand away, my pale skin is stinging a faint red at my fingers and where the invisible bonds wrap, my body trying to reject it. Rowen tells me of his dark lord, who wants to see me. From what I have derived from this man so far, this will be no warm welcome. I stiffen, almost wondering if it would be better to just be banished. This man who dabbles in wicked craft no doubt has something horrible in mind for me, something worse than nonexistence. But Rowen has already bound me to him.

<br><br>His words of being spared, however, make me clench my teeth. "Am I to thank you, for prolonging my suffering?" I retort, kaleidoscopic eyes hardening as my brows bunch together. I will not. "This isn't mercy, it's lengthened abuse." I follow after him, having no alternative--it's the choice between "freely" walking to my destruction, or being yanked to it. "I won't thank you for dragging my body behind a horse instead of slitting my throat," I mutter under my breath, lips sour.

<br><br>We walk in quiet for some while, but there is one thing that badgers my mind about him, and I speak up. "Who was it?" I ask abruptly, though my softer tones make no interruption in the universe. "Who did we take?" I step on a twig, feeling the thin piece snap in half beneath the soft leather of my shoes. "Your lover…mother, father…" comes my conjecture. "A brother? Sister. Some relative, or friend." Someone gave reason to this sacrifice of his, and I wonder his or her identity. "Who was it?"

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<BR>I ignore her incessant prattling. I do not know what it is that Lord Blagden wants with her. I do not know if it is worse than the world of banishment we send the Erinyes off to. My lord is not a card I would so easily bet on. He has done dark things, I know, these things including taking my soul, but it had been my choice. He had given me options. Three, actually. First, I could turn away and deal with my issues on my own. Second, I could sell my soul to him for the power to rid of the filthy creatures. Third, and this option had been the one to push me to the second, one that had shocked me, was that he had offered for me to stay with him regardless if I made the deal or not, for I had nobody else, and I needed a home, and someone to guide and look after me. This last option made me realize that even if I gave my soul to him, he would not wring it dry. At the time, it seemed that he would not put me through unnecessary pain. It seemed as if he truly wanted to take care of me, as his own. Something I realized early on was that despite those beneath him, despite all of his great power, and despite the servants that dwell in his grand castle, he was completely and utterly alone, just as I was.

<br><br>I will not deny that there has been many a time when Blagden has not done what has been best for me, but I can see the storm that brews in his eyes, the torture he seems to relive whenever he believes I'm not paying attention. He's far from being a perfect foster parent, and he's put me through a lot of pain, but he's all I have, and there's a heart in there that reaches out to me. I'll never forget the times that he would sit with me, the nights when I missed my parents and my old life so badly all I could do was cry, and he would tell me it's okay, and hold me close, and tell me that the sun would shine tomorrow. It always managed to make me feel better, because it was as if he spoke of the sun as an entity, a person, someone who would come and make things better for the both of us.

<br><br>With Blagden's ways, I have no clue what to make of him wanting to see this particular Erinyes. I wonder if she is the one that made him hate them so much. Is it possible she was the one to take his loved one away from him? He never told me who that was, or if they took anyone away from him at all. That has never been something he has revealed to me, and I merely accepted his need for privacy on the matter. I debate on asking her, if she recalls ever encountering a man with hair so black it rivals a never ending abyss, and eyes so sharp a blue that they could be mistaken for shards of ice. I refrain however. I will not tell her Blagden's name either, for he has told me he never wants his name spoken to any of the Erinyes. This is something I have also never questioned. I've never seen much of a need to.

<br><br>I prefer the silence between us. I do not care to talk to her. I find her to be quite an annoyance actually, though I'm not sure if that's because of what she is or just her in general. I like to believe she favors the quiet as well, but she ends up breaking it, piercing me in the heart as she asks me who was it that her race took from me. I clench my jaw and my gaze hardens as I leer ahead of me, my boots crunching against the branches and dried leaves the only sound accompanying the occasional bird call for awhile. I do not wish to answer. What does she care?

<br><br>Something begins to compel me however. I do not know what it is. It might be my need for an Erinyes to know what their kind did to me, to see if they aren't all the same, that maybe there is one merciful, one with compassion, but deep down I doubt this. Those sorts don't exist. They hardly exist anywhere anymore, human or not. After a long while of not a word escaping my lips, I finally answer her.

<br><br>"It was my parents, when I was a boy of thirteen." I take in a deep breath through my nose as visions of my loving parents flash through my mind. The injustice of it all pangs at me, but I push back the anger. "Both of them." I glance over my shoulder at her, "It must have been famished." I add bitterly before I look ahead. "It left me alone in this world. I had no other family." I find myself on some sort of roll, giving her more than I had planned. "I was angry... I am angry... I sought out a way to get back at them, to reek vengeance on the Erinyes, to keep them from taking away anyone else's loved ones. I searched all over, all on my own, for someone who could assist me, who could help me destroy you."

<br><br>I bring my eyes down to the wrist that is bound to the Erinyes, Blagden coming to mind next. "Someone told me of a dark lord who's goal was to get rid of your kind, so I went to him. I asked for his assistance. He told me if I sold my soul to him, he would give me to the power to banish the Erinyes, to avenge my parents. On top of that, soul taken or not, he offered a home, and to be my guardian." My gaze finds the ground, the memories flashing before me. "I felt I would be a fool not to accept it, and so I did. I gave my soul to him, and I have been working for him ever since." I pause as I lift my emerald eyes up towards the trees, "It's what I wanted." I breathe, not bothering to look at her face, to see what she thinks. I don't care anymore.

<br><br>"I don't want to hear anymore questions from you. I'd prefer the rest of this venture be filled with silence. You can spend it praying that my lord is merciful towards you." That is it for me, for I can feel my emotions crawling up my throat and residing in my eyes, dampening them swiftly. I don't turn my head, keeping her from seeing the tears that slide down my cheeks, what I have told her merely reminding me of what my life is, or more like, what it isn't. On top of this, I rarely take my journeys with anyone accompanying me. At times Blagden has joined me, especially in the beginning, but now I am usually alone. I've grown used to this. I am not going to attempt to adapt to this for the two days we are going to be around each other. We will not get to know each other, or make small talk. I am simply escorting her to Blagden. That is all.

<br><br>That is how the rest of our time together goes. We walk, we rest and eat when it is needed, and we continue on. We sleep once the moon has reached it's peak in the sky and we awaken the next morning when the sun has turned the sky blue again. I speak to her when necessary, but only then. We walk the entire day, and I find I grow more intrigued for what it is Blagden is going to do to this one. As we reach the next evening, I can make out the silhouette of his castle above the trees, and I know it will only take 'til early afternoon the next day to get there. I stop so that we may rest early tonight, informing her when we will be there tomorrow, and we sleep.

<br><br>As soon as the sun caresses the barren sky, we rise. I am coming to look forward to going home, and sleeping in my own bed. I have been away for awhile, and I realize maybe I could use the break. After all, it's not like I don't have all the time in the world to go after the Erinyes.

<br><br>I would scoff at this if I hadn't already numbly accepted this unchanging fate during our journey.

<br><br>We reach the bottom steps up to Blagden's palace at noon, just as I expected, and we trek upward, our travels hardly taking us as long as you would expect as I jog up the stairwell, each curve and step familiar to me as I have traveled upon them many times before. My breathing is only slightly labored as we finally reach the doors of the castle, and I gander over at her, wondering how prepared she is before I rap my knuckles against the door, and it opens without anyone standing behind it. He is in the foyer. He knew exactly when we would be here.

<br><br>Knowing that she will not hold back, as she hasn't the entire expedition, I lead her inside the dark entrance, the only light being that which filters through the narrow windows beside the door. It leads off into three directions. The curtains at both of our sides conceal long corridors, and the wider curtained entryway in front of us leads to the main foyer, where Blagden usually takes his meetings. I inhale deeply, preparing myself, for I do not know what to expect, before I lead her forward and through the lush dark blue velvet curtain. The main foyer is remarkably large, decorated with large windows at the east and west sides of it, beautiful Grecian statues, and intricate tapestries along the walls. The main focus on the room however, is Blagden's throne, where he now sits, the first time I've seen him in the flesh in weeks. I nod to him, "I have brought the creature for you, my lord." I state simply before I turn my eyes to her, only able to speculate as to what my liege has in store for her.


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[dohtml]<center><div style="width: 375px; text-align:justify;"><br>He was young when it happened, his mind still fresh, its fingers outstretched and grasping at whatever it could--and because of some crime of his parents', the thing he grasped the tightest was their "murder". Rowen speaks on how the Erinyes must have been truly ravenous to consume them both, unaware that his parents still live on in some form, that we never partake in life. My face almost blank as I listen to him tell his story--only the lightest touch of sympathy. I know he doesn't want pity. I'm not sure what he expects from me, giving me so much of his history. But it is a very predictable storyline. A boy left on his own, seizing the first parental figure who stepped into his life. Relationships built on dependency, idolization, that yearning to please...

<br><br>I know that story.

<br><br>(…oh, how I once cherished him.)

<br><br>Rowen was blinded by his rage, his idea that the Erinyes acted solely out of cruelty and hunger, that there was no reason behind it. I wish I knew what his mother and father did, but without being able to see Rowen's past, or a greater supply of magic, I can't. Rowen's tale is nothing unique to the story of any other Erinyes-hunter, save for the factor of his dark lord. Most hunters do not involve themselves with black craft--it is a rare thing in this world to have, or even find. Most humans come in contact with magic only through some sort of remedy sold in an apothecary, nothing more. But Rowen…he, and this unknown mage, have not only harnessed power, but have pointed it towards a most heinous cause.

<br><br>A part of me wants to tell Rowen the truth. That we're no evil demons from the Underworld who come to earth simply to tear humans' loved ones away for the pure joy and satisfaction of it. We are the balance of the universe, the just. We take retribution, not lives, but there are so many just like Rowen who would believe otherwise…so much to the point that I know that even if I do tell him, there is a great chance there will be no purpose to it. I've told humans the reality before, but they refused to believe it. I can't be sure if they merely didn't want to, or if they just couldn't accept that someone they loved could be guilty of sin--that so many people on this earth were guilty of sins, to the point that Hades brought my kind into existence to take care of it. I see the hatred crackling in Rowen's eyes, and I don't think he would trust my story.

<br><br>And if he did?

<br><br>Well, then he would see that everything he has done in these past years has truly been for nothing, that his life has been wrong, and I don't know if I want to see the crushing epiphany of a man who tried to be a hero and ended up slaying the wrong beasts. I don't want that to be my last deed on earth.

<br><br>"So it was he who gave you immortality," comes with only words--this one understanding. "Or forced unto you." I correct myself quietly. He says it's what he wanted, and my lips part to ask if it was all he ever wanted, words just about to form, when Rowen speaks first, saying he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

<br><br>Somehow, these words are the cruelest he has spoke so far. Rowen won't even speak to me, because of what I am. He doesn't want to personify my existence--he believes me to be a cold-blooded killer and treats me like one, leaving little room for civility, even. The blame of every wrong thing an Erinyes has done is on my shoulders, and from this point on, I am alone.

<br><br>We walk in silence, my thoughts uncontrollable…what have I done to deserve this? It's almost maddening. I've done what I was born for, reshaping souls and having them start anew, and I've tried to do good. I've helped those I can, but now I find myself in a place where there will be no escape. I can imagine this dark master will want to take vengeance on me in the most ruthless way possible, and it makes me wonder what I really am guilty of. Maybe the hunters have some reason.

<br><br>The journey is torment in itself, and when we lay to rest, I find myself wakening in the midst of the night--something that I seldom do unless there's a disturbance. And then I can't go back to sleep afterwards, my eyes staring straight up at the moon above and wondering if it'll be the last time I see it again. I watch it disappear under the blanket of morning, I watch the sun rise…each second closer to my last. My body is already a corpse. Perhaps I have more in common with Rowen than either of us realized. Perhaps the cause I've been fighting was fantasy, and all I've done is brought ruin to those I've touched. I know I've already brought the worst destruction to the last person who deserved it…why should the rest be different?

<br><br>My head pounds as we finally reach the realm of Rowen's master, the castle within sight. It's elegant, grand…but there's something off about it, as if it doesn't belong here. It's not just a home, it's…it's shutting something out, or keeping something in. The art of it leads me to believe that whoever built this palace had dreams…but they aren't here…there's nothing here. Save for my punishment.

<br><br>Rowen leads me inside, and I find myself staring at little else but his back. There's no curiosity in me to glance at my surroundings. This may be where I've come to die, but if I'm leaving, I want to remember the world outside, not here. I feel my body move through the curtains, fluidly through the gentle velvet, like a petal slipping through the surface of water, and I stand in a great hall. I feel someone else's presence, and feeling there's no purpose left in waiting, I raise my head,

<br><br>and enter a haze.

<br><br>The second I see that face that has lingered in the recesses of my mind…those eyes like crushed sapphire frozen in ice, that raven hair that reflects, collects…captures lights and colors like my own eyes…my body fails me. It takes every bit of will just to stay standing, relying on the strength in my bones alone. My skin quivers as my irises widen, pulling in more pigment as they're stained with the color of the surroundings, yet more vivid, the thorn of emotion pricking them all the brighter. Every piece of me trembles before him, overswept with shock, relief, happiness, every feeling in the raw, in its most base, its most poignant form. They attack me, eat away at me. My mind…my heart aches. It's him. It's really him, sitting there, before me, here, now. Back again. Breathing, alive.

<br><br> "…Blagden." I barely hear myself saying it, feeling that I lack the strength to speak, but the word whistles through me like a zephyr, the name so natural to me. A part of me longs to run forward, to seize his arms like he is a child again, to feel him, to grasp at his jaw, all to make sure he's really here in front of me, he's alive. He got out, I know not how but all that matters is that he is here with me in this moment. But one thing holds me back--something so much stronger than the cloudy tether at my wrist, and it is my guilt. What…right have I to go to him? I, and I alone, am the reason why Blagden was gone in the first place. And now, I'm certain he loathes me for what I did to him in a second of petty rage and fury, like a spoilt child. It only took one moment of weakness to lose him, one moment to commit my gravest sin. I can almost see it all again now. My head…boiling with red choler after what he caused me to do, my feet stomping off and away, demanding that he leave me alone but knowing that he would not as I moved towards the gates of the Underworld.

<br><br>Unable to control myself as I thought of that soul in purgatory because of me, thought of these past days when Blagden refused to listen to me telling him to give up this desperate dream of a human life with me, an immortal whose existence thrived on vengeance and justice of the dead. Nothing close to human, nothing capable of these human emotions. That was what I said, and so vehemently believed for all those years before, and I was so, so angry that he wouldn't listen to me. I had wanted everything for Blagden. I had seen him and his heart grow, but never alter. He stayed true to his promise, and I wanted him to have the life he deserved. But this life, of love, and family, children, and goodness…never involved an Erinyes. How could it? It was a dream.

<br><br>But I cannot deny that it's no dream now, this feeling of fulfillment in my heart, having seen him again…seeing him now. I've missed Blagden, in every way a living being could miss something else. I've missed his eyes, his face, his laugh, that strange feeling I get when I stand beside him now that he's grown so tall, just remembering when he used to be by my waist. I've missed the words he says, how honest they always were, so wholly good, and unexpecting--until, the end.

<br><br>We've changed, the both of us, from the last time we saw each other. I'm no longer clothed in a pretty array of soft fabrics, no more jewelry. A frock of rough muslin, a plain cloak. The braids in my hair are tangled, and there is the soot of those days of travel and sleeping on the ground on my boots and clothes…lines of dust streaking and smearing my hands, my face. And there Blagden sits on his throne, swathed in finery, in his own castle…neither us a minute older than our last day together. But as all things do, it goes beyond mere appearances. There is something different in him, gone, lost. I don't know if it was left behind in that vast cage of darkness, or if it died inside him there. If it will ever return.

<br><br>Rowen speaks then, debasing me once more but I've grown more than used to it at this point. But what he says brings his previous words back to me…and I realize now that Blagden is the one who is the cause of the dying days of my race.

<br><br>I move forward just slightly, the betrayal on my features. "You?" The syllable burns with nothing accusatory, only disbelief, as my forehead creases, finding it difficult to convince myself that Blagden Damocles could be responsible for so many deaths…or fates worse than death. While being doomed to a black chasm does not necessarily mean the body dies, I know the soul can, and that is what he has done to--that is what I did to him. Yes, I did this to him, I see the pattern now, the pain I caused him being forced upon innocent Erinyes because of my own crime. My eyes grow damp, the sheen coating the color. How could he? No, no, I know how, it's all my fault, I sent him to such a lost realm and this is what he has been shaped into. I don't know when he escaped, but I feel it must have been a long time, and I…

<br><br>I flinch and turn away from them both, taking in a shaky breath. Whatever happens to me, I know I deserve it. This is justice at its finest. It's time for me to pay the price for what I did to Blagden. And I won't cheat my way out of punishment…I won't attempt to sway him, to beg for compassion. I was never one to beg, and I wouldn't dream of doing it now, when the sentence is so deserved. Once my resolve has formed, my breathing steadies, and I turn back to face him again, my eyes downcast, lips grim.</div></center></BR>[/dohtml]
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<BR>I have been waiting all morning. After I watched the sun rise above my castle, my outer shell, I came here, to my throne. I knew they wouldn't be here for hours, but that hardly phased me. What else could I do? The anticipation of seeing her was horrid enough the past two days, and sleep would not come to me the night before. The moment I saw her through Rowen, I was wrecked, the inside of me aching for her, like a child during Christmas Eve, knowing that St. Nicholas would be making their dreams come true soon. It was finally happening. I had finally found her. The love of my life, that one who had destroyed me, the one who invades my thoughts constantly... The one who I would do anything for.

<br><br>So, I sit, leering at the curtains, my stomach eating away at me as the dread to see her crawls along my insides, while the pure excitement makes my never dying heart pump faster, knocking at my chest, pounding in my ears. I could nearly go mad from it. I spent the time running over our life together, attempting to focus on the beautiful times, the ones I cherish, but the soiled memories, the times when I could glimpse into her eyes and be nearly sure she hated me, loathed me, are more prominent. Why? Why was I not enough for her? Why didn't she want me? All that I had offered her. All of my care, all of my love, my devotion, my entire heart handed to her. I would have given her everything and anything she desired. I would have made her happy. Why couldn't she see that?

<br><br>How could she have such a distaste for me that she chose to trap me in the deepest darkness hole she could find?

<br><br>Despite what she has done to me, I still love her as much as I had all those years ago, before she banished me. I possibly love her more, for ever since the day I met her my heart grew for her, attempting to fit all the love I had cultivated inside of it. It has never stopped, and now, more than ever, what I desire most is to have her be with me, the way I have always dreamed.

<br><br>Yet, I want to scream at her. I want to let her know of the venom she injected in me, the venom she allowed to sear me from the inside out, torture me for years upon years. She threw me into the darkness and never expected me to come out, but oh, is she in for a surprise.

<br><br>Soon, I can sense them. Two beings are heading up my stairwell, one's glow on my radius a little brighter than the other. Rowen's knuckles make contact with the door and with a slow sweep of my hand, I open them without even seeing them. I can hear their footsteps against the tile as they come in, or at least, I can hear my hunter, and before I can truly prepare myself, he enters the room, and she is right there beside him.

<br><br>Seeing her in the flesh is an infinity times more spectacular than seeing her through Rowen's mind. I feel as if I am thrown back, the light sparking in my eyes as visions flash before me. Me, as a child, clinging to her, my face buried into her side. Another, still just a boy, sitting in bed alone after she abandoned me with hardly a proper goodbye. A myriad of images from when we met again shoot across my mind like stars, never allowing me to grasp them. They slow down however, as they reach our ending memories, the ones that hold the most pain. They are laced with it, like a witch's poison. I feel my jaw clench as I fight back the tears that threaten to gleam in my eyes. No. I become harder, like stone, as I watch her, as I wait, to see if she will even know who I am.

<br><br>When my name leaves her plush lips, it is the most beautiful thing I have heard in over three centuries. A shudder runs through me, and it's as if a sudden weight had been dropped upon my heart. She remembers me. She has not forgotten my face. What is it that goes through her mind? Is she shocked that I made it out? Is she upset over this? What have I become to her? When was the last time I entered her mind before this day? I have no answer, for I cannot read her face. She is one who has always been so enigmatic to me. I have never been sure if she ever loved me and was simply afraid of such human feelings, or if her loathing for me was genuine.

<br><br>I don't fail to see the way she's changed physically. She no longer wears fine cloths, her skin is covered in filth, and her precious ivory hair is ratty. It does not take away from her beauty, but it angers me for she deserves better than that. I want to clean her up. I want her to take a bath in the purest spring waters in my tub. I want her to brush out her hair with the silver and emerald studded brush that awaits in the vanity that would be hers if she were mine. I want her to wear a silk gown and feel like the goddess that she is. I want her to have everything.

<br><br>Rowen speaks, and while I listen, my attention is never taken from Avaris. I am able to watch her face change. I am able to see the disbelief on her face. I am able to see what I know is obvious disapproval, able to hear it in her voice. She does not understand, but she will. Who was I, to let the Erinyes torture any more human hearts, like she had done to mine? That was only a perk however. The true reason, the reason I never faltered with banishing her race, was to narrow them down. I could not find her. While I could track down the Erinyes, there was nothing that individualized them. There were so many. I had not a clue where she could be, or I would have gone to her years ago. It is only now, after years upon years, that she has been found. It would have been eventual if she had been banished, for I am able to look upon the dark portal each night and 'see' them more clearly. I would have known of her presence. However, it is by great fate that the banishment I decided to watch was her own. I am grateful she did not have to go through that.

<br><br>Something seems to affect her and she turns away, but it's only momentarily. Have I overwhelmed her with my presence? It must be like seeing a ghost, a ghost you corrupted. I don't take pleasure in it, as much as I want to. I don't want to her in pain, even after what she did to me, but the ache in me boils hot under my skin, screaming to escape. A moment later, she turns back, her face fallen, and finally, I stand from my throne, ready to face her, to speak to her, after all this time.

<br><br>"Thank you, Rowen." With the flick of my hand, both of them can feel the invisible weight of their wrist tethers lifting. "You may go. I would like for us to be alone." He hesitates, and my gaze turns towards him sharply, and that is all he needs to turn around abruptly and leave my sight. I know he is off to his bedroom, so I turn back to her, and my heart grows heavier. I begin to walk towards her, stepping down from my throne and closing the forty feet of distance between us. This is it.

<br><br>"Avaris." I breathe, the name all to familiar on my lips. "You remember me." A humorless chuckle escapes me and I grin, but there is a bitter air to it. "To think I believed you had banished me from your thoughts, while I sat here with you penetrating mine for eternity." My lips seal and I give a smirk, halting once I am a mere eight inches away from her. I tower above her tiny frame, and while I wish to pull her into my embrace, I know that is not an option now. No. It's never been an option for her.

<br><br>I reach out, the tips of my fingers running along her jawline, towards her chin, lifting her face up, forcing her to look into my eyes. "You are still as fair as the high winter's day, but oh so full of life like the peak of spring's awakening." My eyes grow tender as I speak, my thumb running back and forth along her chin. "Your grace is unwavering. Your strength an inspiration to many." I smile, this time genuinely. "And the ethereal and exquisite air around you never fails to leave me breathless." I breathe out the last word as I reach up and brush the edge of my thumb over her bottom lip. "My angel, time has truly never touched you."

<br><br>My eyes roam over her stunning features, but soon focus upon her eyes. I recall how I could not read her, and her eyes are the biggest mystery to me. What is that inside of them? Why can I not make out what it is she holds? What does she think of me now? I can only manage to guess, and that pain rips through me, clawing it's way to the surface, and I pull my hand away swiftly, my eyes darkening as I tilt my head downward. "And yet, your eyes. They've changed. What is it that lies within them? Is it fear? Anger?" My fists clench beside me as I scowl. "Are you disappointed your prison could not hold me?"

<br><br>It's almost as if a scorching blue fire enters my eyes as the decades of torture, of complete and utter agony, come over me, and my voice becomes something rough and guttural, my emotions taking the reigns. "Do I ever cross your mind, Avaris? DO I?! Do you ever remember the poor orphaned boy who's heart you saved and then preceded to stomp on as if it was nothing, turned to dust?!" I abruptly slam my palm into my chest, covering my heart. The tears have come now, but I am numb to them. They do not matter anymore. "And yet it continued to love you." I precede, my voice softening now. "Because that's the fool I am, isn't it? That's the fool you've always seen." I attempt to stand up straight, trying to collect myself before I completely fall apart, onto my knees in front of her. "Well, I came back. I came back and you are not getting rid of me this time."

<br><br>My lips tremble now as I shake my head subtly, my tears brimming over my eyelids, my hands shaking terribly as I keep them at my sides, fighting the need to pull her into my arms. Oh, how they long for her. I step forward, closing that last bit of space separating us, and I can nearly feel her warmth as I lean down, bringing my lips to her ear so that I may whisper, "You may tear me apart day in and day out, lady Avaris, but my love for you will always put me back together and lead me right back to you." Slowly, I pull away, but I keep our close proximity. Now silent, I gaze down upon her, a warmth and innocence resting in my eyes as I feel I am that sad and wounded mortal all over again, rejection radiating out from my fingertips. She will never love me. All of this, it's only a way for me to torture myself with her presence, because I know I cannot imprison her. I cannot take away her happiness, for it would only strip me of what little I have left of my own.

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I hear him thank Rowen for bringing me here, and in a moment, the invisible grip around my wrist uncoils at last, but it does nothing to alleviate the real weight of my circumstances. Rowen is dismissed, and once he leaves, Blagden makes his way over to me, beginning to speak, and…how, how could I have ever forgotten him? Of all the beings, mortal or immortal…he is the one who has, without a doubt, played the largest part in my existence. He's intertwined our stories together…gotten under my skin, somehow, despite all the barriers I've built to keep everyone out. Banishing him from my thoughts would never be a possibility…not without the help of some higher form of magic, but I would never turn to sorcery…not after what happened before. Ever since I lost Blagden in the darkness, I have strived to avoid the use of magic as a solution at all costs. It is never worth the sacrifice.

<br><br>And in spite of the burden of guilt and culpability, I would not have chosen to forget him if it was a choice, I can't deny it.

<br><br>I say nothing of this, however, my lips remaining closed. I don't….I know of his feelings for me, as unfounded as they are, and telling him that not a day in all these years has passed by without regret for what I did…I think it would only cause him more pain in the end. It would give him promise for something that cannot be--once, it could not because of our differences, but now I believe that it is completely beyond hope for what I've done to him is unforgivable. I am his poison, and when Blagden brings my gaze to his, I know he knows this too. These words he speaks, these syrupy words of affection and attachment, of my being like winter and spring…they are only proof of how far my venom has seeped into him. How else could he still say these things, after everything he's been through because of me? He is sunken too deep and the cure could only be cultivated by my disappearance, not only from his presence but from his thoughts and memories. I carry nothing with me but sorrow.

<br><br>Sorrow, and…

<br><br>What some would name love.

<br><br>I have lived in contradiction for centuries. I cannot do it any longer. I cannot give this feeling another title…this feeling of constant thinking, worrying, affection and need to save. Even if it means saving him from myself. I've always needed to rescue him--which route I took never mattered. But this also blinded me to my true feelings because I thought I was only a friend who wanted to protect. I didn't know that I truly wanted to be by his side forever, not only to know that he was all right but to just be there, and share in that warmth he's always given me. Through his smiles, his mannerisms, his graceful words of nature, through everything that he simply is. I know why I once shunned him, but I dared not utter it, especially in front of my Lord when the situation was already dire. But now and forever, I…love him…and yet I cannot say it, because it would feel like only words to evade whatever Blagden will say, or do, and I am not one to run from retribution. It is…has always been, my purpose.

<br><br>His touch thrills me, only reminding me more that he's here. But he yanks his hand away from me, his air darkening, claiming to see the difference in me. What Blagden professes he sees in my eyes is unfamiliar…because it is finally the mirror of his own sentiment. The curtains have been torn away but he takes the result for dread or wrath, his rightful temper only swelling in his throat. I want to oppose everything he says, but I stay quiet, taking it in because this is my true punishment. I bear it, but emotion begins to betray me, a crest of tears starting to blur my vision as I keep them from overspilling.

<br><br>No, you do not cross my mind. You cannot cross my mind, because you dwell there. You've never left. You've stayed here with me, in my mind, even when your body was in the darkness because I put it there myself. I never wanted this. Any of this. It didn't please me to see you bleed, especially when I was the one holding the knife. I, who was your protector in your childhood for one page in history, soon became the villain. I've never seen you as a fool, I…I was the fool, and…get rid of you?

<br><br>He has no concept, how hard I tried to gain him back. I do not believe he even thinks it a possibility, my demeanor being so cold to him the last time we spoke. But I did fight for his return. Staring into his eyes as blue as the falling wisps of ice in the dark realm, the memory returns to me like a swinging silver pendulum. My form, wandering the abyss…searching him without rest. Encountering those dark sylphs who wanted to feed off my immortality, my endless life source. My battles with them felt as if they would never cease, for in that infinite shade one could never tell when a day had passed or not. But it didn't matter. Time didn't matter. I didn't matter. I had to find him, I had to bring him back to the natural world. He didn't deserve this. No one did, but him least of all, with all the goodness in his heart. I had to find him. I roamed through the burn and the freeze, forgetting any thought I had that did not involve rescuing Blagden from what I had so wrongly doomed him to.

<br><br>Weakened and soul-tattered, I walked on through time, swatting those wicked, beguiling whispers from my ear…such tempting evils always tend to linger in these places. I shrugged off frost and fire, I let the ravenous shadows stain me. I called his name, but there was never an answer. And then, one day…a glowing egress materialized, and pulled me in. I awoke in front of the crackling hearth of the throne room of no one other than my Lord himself. A god almost gargantuan, four times my size, skin of granite and eyes of pitch. He was seated on his throne of basalt, and not pleased with me at all. He had a way of making this known without showing it on his features…truly, he had the kindest countenance about him on the outside, but those who had been around for centuries knew much better than to believe this aura he wore like a veil to fool mortals.

<br><br>"You've been neglecting your purpose, Avaris."

<br><br>"No, my Lord, I--" I began, pulling myself to my feet.

<br><br>"--and, for a mortal whose existence matters so very little."

<br><br>"That's not true." I snapped…defied him without even thinking, and a sliver of surprise appeared through his mask, never expecting one of his servants to speak against him not once, but twice in a row. But battered from time and darkness as I was, I still continued on. My desperation was strong that it surmounted all other reason that had been instilled in me the moment I even came into existence.

<br><br>"He's brought change in the world. I've seen it," I nodded and swore, brows knitted together as I fought tooth and nail, bone and marrow for the king's assistance. "Please. In all your goodness and mercy…bring him back to me."

<br><br>He was silent, and I did not notice my eyes were overflowing with tears. I only realized this later for they melted the thin layer of frost that still coated my cheeks.

<br><br>"I implore you." I was trembling where I stood in front of him, suddenly so small in this vast universe, my entirety in the palm of one god's hand. "Blagden is the heart, the dew of human kindness…he does only good…thinks, only good, and if this does not merit salvation then I long not to continue this work," I remarked, shaking my head as a smile relinquishing hope appeared on my lips. Still, he was quiet, though a smile began to grow on his lips. "I cannot encourage morality while the paragon of it ambles in the darkness!"

<br><br>And then, laughter, of all things, roared from him, but I did not stop. It only made me push even further. My words became tenser, more tightly coiled as my fingernails pressed into my palms. "People need him, my Lord. The world needs him."

<br><br>He stayed silent for a moment, posturing for me as he sat there, and his fingers slowly curled around the edge of the armrest of his throne.

<br><br>"Does it, Avaris?" he tilted his head, speaking finally.

<br><br>"…or is it only you?"

<br><br>The assumption shocked me. My mouth scrambled for proper retaliation.

<br><br>"…no, Lord Hades, i-in fact, it was that presumption that caused this blunder in th--"

<br><br>Suddenly, he slammed his hand down on the armrest, the sound of something like thunder resonating through the black corridor, though his face remained the epitome of stillness and collection. "You know what I see, Avaris?" he began calmly, and soon rose to his feet. And while he stood up, I felt a weight press down on my own body, forcing me to kneel in subjugation as he stepped down to face me. His voice remained in its genial manner…oily, slippery, as if each word was coated in honey and yet still contained a pinch of a wasp's sting threatening underneath.

<br><br>"I see a servant who has risen far too high, a skeleton of diseased pride who believes she can command her master, despite already misdealing with another soul. I will not waste my time scouring the dark realms for your lost pet."

<br><br>The weight increased, and I had to struggle not to be crushed into the floor, my palms forced against the surface, bones beginning to crunch under the strain as I gasped aloud, but still I shook my head. "If you will not help me, at least give me a little while longer to search," I breathed through my contorted features.

<br><br>The god crouched down beside me and grabbed my shoulder and arm, his large hand wrapping around my frame, lifting me to my feet, and squeezing hard. My body was overswept with the sensation that it had become a slab of stone, stone that could be cracked and crumbled into pieces with just a little more pressure. And when I looked, I saw that it was true, and that he had petrified part of my body to death, gold veins of ichor shining on the limestone of what used to be the flesh of my arm. But I had little time to look for he stared me in the face, commanding my attention as the ferocity of his rancor burned through his eyes and I had to bite my tongue to not scream from the pain and overcome his words, my mouth filling with blood and bile as I held back.

<br><br>"You have burned enough time. You will return to earth. You will resume your duties. And you will forget. This. Mortal. The gateways will be closed to you from now on," he snarled in a voice that seemed to erupt not from his mouth but from some gut of hell, somewhere else that echoed and bellowed in my ears. I parted my lips to speak.

<br><br>"And you will do all this silently, for you will also not fail to forget that you are expendable. Just as I will not brook your defiance." He released me then, dropping me to the floor below. I remember the impact, the sound of cracking in the air as the portion of my form that he had transformed shattered into dust, and I was left staring in a jumble of horror and agony at the powder that was once living, breathing, muscle and tissue, my life ichor suddenly pooling beneath my body as I was sheathed in pain. I thought for certain I was dying.

<br><br>"Now go."

<br><br>I heard his last words, but when I turned my head to look away from my splintered body and forward to him, I saw only blue sky.

<br><br>I was on earth again, lying not on the floor of his domain, but on a grassy bed of weeds. And when I turned back to glance at my side, my body was repaired. It was all illusion, and yet, real, for just as he said, the gateways were closed to me and I could not go back to the dark realm, nor the Underworld. I was confined to earth. A fallen angel, or banished demon. Undeserving of everything. I stayed away from humans unless I was performing my responsibilities. I was more alone than ever. But I was still disobedient because I did not forget Blagden, not for a day. I saw him trapped in every reflection. And I feel certain that the Lord of the Dead did not want to end my suffering there, that somehow, he did find Blagden in the darkness one day…and he was what affected him like this, blackened his soul with the taste of darkness so that when Blagden would return to me, he would be changed. To further my penance for ever speaking against him by destroying the goodness I quarreled for. To make it my fault, again.

<br><br>But if it is so…he did not win. Even if Blagden is guilty for the disappearance of the Erinyes, even if he was influenced, his goodness still lives, regardless of the evils that shrouded him before. Today, now, he stands beside me…whispering in my ear of his undying affection, still. How can you love me still? After what you've been through? How I long to scream at him for what he's let me do to him, for not leaving me behind as he should have done so so long ago and yet, how I also long to remedy all of this in that fractured mortal way, of loving. But I cannot allow it. I need…I crave justice. It is in my nature, even if it goes against my own well being. He brought me here for a purpose, I know not what and I cannot even be certain if it is vengeance anymore, after what he has said. All I know is that I will do nothing that would cause for an escape from punishment, as I so deserve. Already, the hurt on his face is an ample one.

<br><br>"…what do you plan to do?" is all I ask, my eyes slowly traveling back to his. They remain guarded. I cannot let him see inside, and my voice stays colorless. My world was colorless, until this moment, and my tongue can remain it a little while longer for necessary pretense. I stand at the ready, waiting for a sword to fall, praying it will.

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<BR>It is as if my face drops as the words she speaks to me are but a simple question, inquiring about what I am going to do to her. Anyone looking at me now would not know I was a dark lord of such great power. No. Now, I am just a wounded boy, heart broken so many a time that it is held together by shredded strings. I am disappointed in her response, but what did I expect? I truly am a fool, to think that maybe she'd run to my arms and tell me that she loves me too, that's she's sorry for what happened. All she wants is to know what it is I plan to do with her now that she's here... How I plan to punish her.

<br><br>"Is that all you care about?" I murmur as I step back somewhat, "What sort of punishment I shall bestow upon you?" My mouth flickers, as if I want to laugh, but I cannot bring myself to do so. "Avaris, what was said to Rowen was merely an act." I furrow my midnight brows at her, "Do you really think I would ever harm you? After everything, do you believe I would put you through any sort of torture or agony?" I shake my head. "You are mistaken. I could never do such things to you, no matter what you have done to me." My hand gestures to my chest, my fingertips placed upon it gingerly. My voice is soft, nearly a whisper, as I look at her so tenderly I wonder if I look the same to her as I had centuries ago. "I would gain nothing but sorrow." What would I benefit from punishing her? I do not wish to cause her any anguish, and on top of that, I know revenge will not make our situation any better. Even if there was a punishment that would lead her into my arms, I would not do it. I cannot stand to see her in pain.

<br><br>"What I want to know, Avaris, is why?" I step closer to her before I slowly start to circle her, my tall frame causing a shadow to dance around her as I hover. "I want to know what it is I did to make you loathe me so entirely you felt the need to banish me to the dark realms." I know what I did. I caused her to lose that soul. I never meant to. I didn't mean to interfere with her life's work. All I had wanted was to assist her, to help her, to be someone worthy of her time and space. I was doing whatever I could to make her love her, to make her see that she loved me, and that we could be happy together. It backfired greatly, and as payback she led me into the Underworld and trapped me there. Was that all though? "Was it the soul? Was it the soul alone? I never meant to disturb your work." I reach forward and brush back some of her hair, surprised when it feels more like straw than silk, but it is of no matter to me. I am in love with her and not the feel of her hair. "Or was it something else? Was it fear? What was it that I had done so wrong you felt the need to purge me into the darkness?"

<br><br>I come back to the front, face to face with her once more. "What was it that you did, after I was gone? Did you roll about a meadow in your glee or no, no, you simply smiled to yourself, relieved that I was gone from your life forever? What was it?" My voice grows far sharper on my last words as I swiftly reach out, placing my sizable hand upon the side of her head, my thumb resting against the middle of her forehead, and I shut my eyes as my magic allows me to dive into her past, going to the time right after I was banished.

<br><br>What I see is far from what I might have expected. It is not of her on Earth, in the warmth, pleased with what she's done and going on with her life. No. She is in the dark realms, filled with bitter cold and blue fire. She searches constantly for me, calling out my name in so desperate a manner I can feel a weight growing on my heart, my throat swelling. She doesn't stop. I know that she searches for many moons and many suns, never halting for a moment. It is only when she is disturbed by none other than her Lord Hades does she stop. He scolds her for what she has done, for looking for me instead of doing what she is made for. She defies him for my sake, vouching for me. I do not hear specifics, but I know that she speaks for my goodness of heart, of my worth. She pleads for him to either let me go or allow her to pursue me longer, but he does not agree to either. Instead, he makes her suffer greatly before banishing her back to Earth, unable to cross back to the dark realms. She is unable to get back to me.

<br><br>I pull away as if a venomous snake has sunk it's fangs into my hand, my raven's hair falling forward, brushing against my temples as my bottom lip trembles, eyes glossy as I look upon her. All that I have thought, all that I have fathomed from what she did to me has become clouded. I do not know what to make of it anymore. "H-How..." I start, feeling my whole body start to tremor. "How is it that you banished me and yet searched for me? Y-You never stopped. Day in and day out you searched for me!" I shake my head, having a difficult time trying to make sense of it all. "You PLEADED with the dark lord to rescue me!" I shout, pointing off to the side as if to gesture to the god I speak of. "How is it you can do all that after ridding yourself of me?! After throwing me away when all I did was LOVE you?!" My hands find my hair, my fingers pulling through the strands. "Why, Avaris, would you do this? Why did you toss me off only to crave my presence? WHY?!"

<br><br>I grow silent suddenly, the tears brimming and sliding down my cheeks as I stare down at her, my hands falling to my sides. When I speak again, my voice is calm and stoic. "Any rational man, any wise man, would deduce that you love me, for any woman who searches the dark realms until Hades himself pulls her away... Any woman who would go against a god like him for a mere man... They would deduce that you love that man." My emotions creeps up at my last word, for the man in context is me. "They would know that the man was right all along, that you were scared, that you pushed him away for this reason, only to realize you could not find the proper happiness without him." I keep my distance from her, the rapture in me growing with each passing second. I cannot handle it anymore.

<br><br>"But, oh, how I know you, lady Avaris. You are the enigma. You are the woman of mystery. You are the woman who hides all that she feels because it is not the norm, because she cannot let her guard down to even the man who would die for her salvation." I spit out the words like venom, insulted by the idea that she could not trust me enough to be my love. It's one of the many options I have concocted as to why she would not give in to her feelings. "I always thought you loved me, Avaris. Always. I believed you were just scared of it, scared of such a vulnerable human thing as love." I growl as my fists clenched, "Is that what it is? IS THAT WHAT IT'S BEEN ALL ALONG? What is it, Avaris? WHAT DO YOU FEEL?" I yell, the color rising in my face as I take a step towards her. "What about you? What is in your heart, Avaris? What is it you feel for ME? I can guess no longer."

<br><br>The tears pour heavily down my cheeks, my immortal heart threatening to rip through my chest as it's harsh thumping bruises my chest. "I am so sick and tired of this." I sneer as my brows narrow, a serious air lowering itself upon my features. "What lies in your heart, Avaris? Do you loathe my existence? Are you merely numb to the ghost of your past? Or do you love me, the way I've always believed, the way I've hoped for centuries?" My eyes frantically search her face, but I cannot read her. Abruptly, I snap, and my face quickly grows crimson, "What is it, Avaris?! Which one!? Stop strumming your fingers against the heart that beats for you and ANSWER ME! Oh, oh." I suddenly grin, shaking my head as something dawns on me. "And I do not want a carefully constructed and eloquent response that only creates more riddles. I do not want you to lie for my sake. This is nt about me, Avaris. It is about you. BE SELFISH FOR ONCE." I scowl, hot tears burning my eyes of sapphire flame. "What am I to you?! What have I been?! Whatever it is, tell me, Avaris. Right now. No thoughts. Only the truth. What do you FEEL?!" I am still for the longest second of my life before one last cracked scream leaves my throat.

<br><br>"TELL ME!"
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The minute I speak, Blagden's face falls, my words disenchanting him. I've failed, for I know that after all these years, he wanted me to do something more than simply ask after my own future, but I have purposely wounded him, just as I've done for years now. The cut before the slice, the bruise before the sever. It's the cruelest work of all but I feel it is the only way he will be able to hurt me in return. But he denies me this satisfaction, just as I denied him his, saying that all he said to Rowen was a ploy. I don't understand why Blagden would lie about it--no, what I don't understand is that even after I forced him into darkness, he could still never lay a hand or a sentence on me. Why? Why? I have done nothing to ever deserve this devotion! This steadfast loyalty that deprives me of my deserved fate…I don't want it. As mad a wish as it sounds, I want my own suffering to bring him peace. But he refuses this, looks upon me with endearment still and I don't know how to survive it.

<br><br> Blagden asks me why instead, demanding to know what it was that caused me to be so cold and callous as to abandon him in that realm. I don't move as he circles me, I don't speak. I know the answer but I don't know what to say. They are two different things. He speaks of the soul, that poor man's soul whose sin was not as grave as the others…killing a wife he found in bed with his enemy. It broke his heart, he sank into wrath and he destroyed her without meaning to. He nearly killed himself before Blagden and I reached him, and he was to be reborn into something great, that did not need to rely on the love of others to thrive (how I wished I could have given Blagden this gift, or at least the choice of it). But instead, the incantation went wrong, his soul was broiled and sent to the worst pits of dolor and torment. It was the last incident that made me lose control over my own emotions, and Blagden paid for it all. But he was right, in that it wasn't the soul alone. That was simply the last piece.

<br><br> He sweeps my hair back, hair that I have long stopped caring for, along with the rest of me. After Blagden disappeared, everything else turned to ash in my world, and yet he still believes his absence made me happy, speaking of meadows and smiles in a tone so tortured and furious that I am almost incited to respond but he cannot wait and seizes me instead, using his own magic to take my answer from me, a direct one that I cannot twist with words and he sees into my mind. I face it all over again, the frost, the burning, the bleeding, but this time it is sharper…not just a recollection, but an experience, the difference between a scent and a taste.

<br><br> Blagden reels backwards when it is over, and I know my words have done the opposite to preparing him for any of that. He couldn't have expected it, and it only torments him further. I watch, wince, as he shouts, going right back into commanding me to bring light to the situation, to finally give him the full explanation. Something drives me to step forward as he yanks his hands through his hair but I barely move before I find myself frozen in place, seeing the tears slip over the brim of his lower lashes and fall while he searches for the truth himself. Calling me an enigma, and it's true, all I've ever done is lead Blagden through a labyrinth, first of my own feelings and soul, and then in darkness itself. There are times when I think on it and I cannot…bear my own brutality. I tried to have good intent and I met with disaster. He was the poor, clinging boy who followed after someone he wholeheartedly trusted, and I lead him to this, this finish line with a dark lord with black magic, who has lived for so long in distress and misery, steeped in wickedness because of me. It kills me, immortal me, and when Blagden says he tires of this, I long to fall to my knees in agreement, so weary of this game I have tried to play and yet have only succeeded in making everyone lose.

<br><br> He wants to know, he has to know. No more smoke, no more mirrors, no more veils and sigils. Tell him, at last.

<br><br> I stare back at Blagden as he breathes heavily, waiting for my reply…and I step forward carefully, closing the rest of the distance he created between us in these last moments. My hand reaches out slowly and places itself on Blagden's cheek, my thumb and forefinger resting there while my other fingers curl behind his ear, comb his hair back. In all my powerful memory, I still cannot remember the last time I touched him so tenderly, the last time I allowed our eyes to truly connect as they do now, my maelstrom of purples and corals with his storming waves of azure, rimmed with tears. As if we are back to that night so long ago on the farm where we first met, and he came running to my arms, and I calmed him….telling him everything was going to be all right. I wish I could say those words to him now…I cannot predict how my truth will affect him in the end of all this…if it will ever end.

<br><br> But this is it. I've no more words left to pull from my reticule of fictions that have attempted to help but only wounded.

<br><br> "You were right, Blagden," I begin, my thumb slowly going to brush across his cheekbone for a moment as I never look away. A small smile appears on my lips again and I know not why, but I feel that no matter what happens now, it will still pale in comparison to the fact that Blagden has returned. Love me, hate me, punish me, lavish praise on me…I don't care, so long as he is back, safe. It doesn't matter anymore, so I say it.

<br><br> "I love you," comes my words, and it feels so strange to hear them aloud in my own voice, but I cannot stop, not now. My hand stills. " I have always loved you." It is the core of sincerity, although I know that he may not believe me, after all that I have put him through. "Perhaps I wasn't always aware of it," I admit, the look on my face turning nostalgic, thinking back to when he first told me of his affections. "But I did," I affirm. In truth, I don't think I would have ever come to that idea if he hadn't brought it up, because it just never seemed to be an option for me. But feelings don't wait for you to realize they exist. They happen on their own, they live and thrive on their own. And then you have a decision to make. To take them in stride and manage alongside them, or to fight against them. I made the wrong decision, but I am done making it now. "…do, still." My smile grows just slightly as I repeat myself. "You were right," I echo, but then a tinge of sadness appears on my features, my eyebrows furrowing.

<br><br> "But you're also very wrong." I pull my hand away, releasing him. I had never planned to tell him this, even during the journey to his castle, with my wrist tied to Rowen's. I didn't want to turn to this. It seemed like an escape…a selfish one. But I've run out of options, and this may be the thing that will save us both. The truth.

<br><br> "Love was not what I feared…it should never be feared, when given from the right person," I say, the look in my eyes telling him that I know that he is the right person, and that his love would never change him the way mine did me. Shame crosses my face as I pull back, turning to the side…staring straight ahead at the tapestry on the wall as I finally pluck the words from my heart. "What I feared was humanity." There is no humor in me as I say it because as ridiculous as it could sound to so many, I mean every syllable. But still I struggle to say it all properly, for it is so hard for me to explain to someone who could never know what it is like. I swallow, and start from a place we're both familiar with.

<br><br> "Mortals spend so much of their lives searching for their purpose, but Erinyes are already born for a reason," I say, knowing Blagden is already rehearsed with this, his life having grown so interlaced with the history of my kind. "We keep the scale of the world's humors in balance." I close my eyes and for a moment, it feels as if time has worn away, and I've just come into being and understanding. "We are not created with the cravings for material things, for the company of others….for beauty, even. There are those who dabble," I open my eyes and turn to Blagden on that last part with a knowing look, remembering how many times we have walked side by side under the sun, talking of its light and all the rest of the natural world's allure. But I turn dour again, reaching at my next point.

<br><br> "…but the truth is, we don't need them." Not the way humans do. It wasn't the same. Mortals yearn for these connections, but Erinyes…it's mere pleasure, nothing more. We do not have crises when we are alone--in fact, we are usually alone. Appreciation for things in life other than our duties is a choice that many choose not to take.

<br><br> "All my existence, I had little change in my sentiments and passions," I continue, reaching the marrow of the matter. "I was happy when I found who I was looking for, when they were brought to justice…when I saw good happening in the world, and I was unhappy when there was not." I shake my head. "I-It was so simple. That was how He intended it, and that was how I lived. I followed my path." My mouth is shaped with surprise as if I am still in disbelief that this has all even happened to me, and it is not untrue. There are time when I think back to the hundreds of years before I even knew Blagden, and it all seems like a dream. Sometimes I do not know who I was during those days.

<br><br> "…until one little boy from the past found me again." I gaze back at him, quiet for a moment, my lips pressing together as I have begun to struggle again, tears surfacing but not falling, my hands trembling by my sides. "You made me human, Blagden Damocles." It is not an accusation, or words of a victim….only the truth, just as he asked. "Not in the flesh, but in the heart." I lose battle with my tears and they start to spill over, mirroring his own wet cheeks.

<br><br> "For the first time, my thoughts were not solely where a certain man or woman was, how long it would take to get to the next village, or if I needed to work for money to get there on time, no," I shake my head firmly, having to swallow again as I grapple with the words I have wanted to say for so long, locked in a box somewhere in my chest. "For once in my life, I thought of other things, of new things, wondrous things, selfish things…I thought of not my responsibilities, but where the day could take us, what we might see." We, the both of us, together, with no relation to what I really was. I never told Blagden, but I did think like that. Never so far ahead as a real future between us, but I did think of us. And with this thinking, came transformation. A new expression crosses my features, one reflecting on the horror of my realization hundreds of years ago.

<br><br> "And I saw myself change." My eyes are widened as I stare away, remembering the feeling, that cold epiphany that I was altering. "Every morning when I awoke, I found a little bit more of humanity had crept into my heart." I clench my fingers into a fist to stop the trembling, a glimmer of a smile showing just for a second. "There was love." It was there, of course, maybe the source of it all, but it wasn't the only thing that my continuous time with Blagden created in the depths of my being. "But it wasn't all good." The smile fades away as I slowly recount.

<br><br> "There were small bitings of jealousies and pettiness, irascibility and irritation." Feelings I never really had before, not to this extent, not so quickly, so easily. "I was afraid of them," I confess. "I didn't want to change. I didn't want to turn into the very type of beings I had condemned so many times. I wanted to stay who I had always been!" I almost shudder. "And though I cared for you, and never…ever, wanted to hurt you…I thought it would be better for us both if we separated. I turn back to Blagden, my continuous tears rending this profession. "I would not be so affected…and you..." I nearly choke on these words, brows knitting together. "You loved me because I was good, Blagden."

<br><br> I could still hear his voice in his youth now, telling me of his admiration, that I was an angel, despite working for the man who had been banished from heaven.

<br><br> "W-What profit would there be if I stayed and became entirely corrupted?" I ask, and it would have been an order had it not sounded so weak. I was crumbling with each passing second, the tears falling faster. "I didn't believe you would love me anymore and then…what would the point in staying even be?" If there wasn't love, there was nothing good.

<br><br> "So I left…or tried to leave." He knows this part well. "You did not make it easy on me." An exasperated smile shows through the tears, and suddenly I feel exhausted, though I do not stop now. "…which made it all the worse." My eyes turn to the ceiling, arched and high, needing somewhere to look and yet I can't bring myself to face Blagden at this part in our story. "You followed after me, even when after I made my decision, and it was so…difficult, that constant temptation." To just tell him to stay with me, that it was all right, and that I did want him there. That longing to utter those words was always there, but I knew I could not do it, and as a result… "I grew frustrated with it…and then one day, I made that mistake, and lost that soul…" I take in a deep breath, attention dropping back to his, face still glassy from my tears. "…and in one brief moment of weakness, I fell." Farther than I could have ever imagined. I take a step forward.

<br><br>"You believe I still had complete control over reason, that I thought of my decision and that I willingly lead you into the darkness with the full intent of stranding you there. That I had thought it all out before and knew what I was bargaining with, and I happily paid that price," I start, my expression showing that somewhere, beneath the recesses of this stony exterior, this assumption hurt me. "It was not so." I bite the inside of my lower lip before I continue, my voice becoming something smothered and desperate, like something being strangled by smoke. "It was one instant of me succumbing to ill judgment that I did not know I had. Ill judgment, that had grown from the constant struggle of trying to force you away, when I wanted to remain with you. It was one instant and I regretted it minutes after falling but by then it was already too late, and I SWEAR to you, NOT A DAY WENT BY WHEN I DID NOT REGRET IT!" A sob finally wrenches from my aching chest, shocking even me, and I have to take a minute to compose myself, turning away from him again, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I breathe, recover shakingly.

<br><br> "…that defiance you saw, when I was with Lord Hades…" I start up again, and slowly facing him once more. "…that was the rebellion you put in me." A smile manages to crack through my fallen face. "The strength." I am sure it did not occur to him that he even had defiance, but…it was this resistance that kept him at my side even after I tried to turn him away. "All this time…I felt for sure that you would no longer want me when I fell from grace…when you saw my faults," I shake my head for what feels like the hundredth time, but this whole circumstance is so unbelievable to me that I cannot stop. "And yet, even after the worst…here you stand before me," I frown while smiling for I feel as if I can barely trust it. "Still loving me." How? "Despite how it burns you." A sad chuckle mixed with my fatigue chimes. "It is I who should be asking the questions."

<br><br> I draw closer, till we're but inches apart, and this time, I take his hands in mine. "I care about my punishment because I deserve it," I whisper, my eyes immediately dampening again, but this time, with regret, showing that I will truly never be able to forgive myself, no matter how sorry I am, or how Blagden feels about it. He is too good.

<br><br> "I was never the strong immortal…the proud immortal some would have claimed me to be," I profess, still clinging to his hands, attached for once. "I never once scorned you for your mortality, Blagden." I know how he thought he had to be worthy of me, but if anything, it was the other way around. I was the weak one, because I was too afraid to face what humans do every day. "No, I was the angel, gifted with the common nature of man and thus stripped of the burden of wings…" Given humanity, unable to bear with it. "…but who feared living without them…" My remorse and self-condemnation only becomes more prominent. "…and thought that she was only loved because she could fly to begin with." And yet he proved it was not so, still here with me now, and I find myself whispering what has already been said, and what may be out of place now, but I still feel the need to promise.

<br><br> "I love you, Blagden."

<br><br> My face falls, the sobs at bay again though I do my best to hold them in, hating them.

<br><br> "And I'm so sorry."
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<BR>The first thing she does is approach my fragile state, her hand reaching out to rest upon my face, and oh, how I have missed her touch. My eyes close and I lean faintly into her hand before they open once more, my gaze falling upon her familiar face, into her kaleidoscope eyes. As much as I adore the physical connection she is giving me, I find a heavy fear weighting in my core. Is she giving me the answer that I have always been hoping for, or is she attempting to soften the blow for when she tells me I am nothing to her? If it is the latter, I do not know if I will be able to hold myself up any longer. After everything that has happened however, how could it be the former? Could I be so fortunate as to gain such a blessing after all this waiting?

<br><br>She goes on to tell me that I was right, and I feel hope swell in my heart, the next three words she speaks causing it to burst.

<br><br>She loves me.

<br><br>She has finally spoken the words I have longed to hear for centuries, the ones I could not even fathom leaving her lips, no matter how well I knew her velvet voice. Those words that signify that the one who I have always cared for, the one I believe is my breath of life, the one who I devote my entire heart to, the one who I sold my very soul for, returns my sentiments. I find myself in some sort of shock, specially when she confirms her words further by saying that she has always loved me. I have been right, all this time. I always believed she loved me, felt in certain moments of weakness from her when she could not hide it, saw it in her unguarded gaze, and sensed it in her tender touch. There were many times when I believed that maybe her light had blinded me, and I had wished so desperately for her love that I thought it to be true within her. I was not blind though. I know now for certain my sight had been and continues to be as clear as my love for her.

<br><br>This state of surprise, of drinking in what she has told me, halts me from enveloping her in my arms and showering her with a hundred kisses, only a handful of the ones I must make up for. My damp eyes, now wet with mirthful tears, are wide as I stand still, my heart thumping and beating in my ears in the pleasant way it used to when I would spend my days with her so long ago, in the way that makes me feel so present and alive on this earth, so invincible, even in my mortal days, that nothing could harm me. This outer stillness, this collecting of my thoughts, is for the better, for Avaris is not finished. There are explanations needed, mysteries that my beloved has kept from me that must be unearthed. She provides me this, her vulnerability shining through, her defenses finally stripped while in my presence.

<br><br>As she pulls her hand away from me, she states how I was also wrong. She did not fear love, but humanity itself. She relates the story in a way I understand. Her people have a purpose that humans must search for, that we must find in things big and small. Our existence is so much more complicated. We have wants and needs not so easily captured. We desire things such as warmth, care, companionship and love. We also express cruel emotions such as agitation, greed and envy. Even the best of us partake in such negative things, even if it's just a little, while others will take it too far, to the point where they become what the Erinyes live for, the ones they must save.

<br><br>She tells me that I had transformed her into a human, right in the core of her, in her heart. I gave her the blessing of wanting something, of needing these pleasures in her life, of having a smile or a laugh touch her face so much more often than before. She would dream of us, beside one another, off to see the beautiful things this world has to offer. A flicker of a smile touches my lips as this idea sinks into me, along with everything else. To know she thought of the same joys I did brings an even greater lightness to my heart, and it beats all the swifter. It is not all good though, I learn as she informs me that with love, came other things, the bad things, that which crept up on her. She feared those emotions, the sort that made humans so flawed, so corruptible. She felt that over time she would become like those she convicted. She was frightened of this fate, of turning into this ruined being, not only for personal reasons but because I loved her goodness, and what point would there be if she lost that and I fell out of love with her? This notion hurts me, makes me wish I had known, so that I could tell her that there was no way she would become like them, no way she would be soiled by the humanity her love for me had bestowed upon her. I shake my head, just slightly, my lips trembling as the very idea of me falling out of love with her so atrocious and maddening I might be ill. I would not allow her to fall in such a way, nor do I believe her to be so capable, but if it were to happen, I would have been there to devote my entire self to her like always and fix what she believed would break, just as I feel she would do for me.

<br><br>She had left me because of this reasoning, and yet I had followed, and when that upset smile reaches her lips, a sheepish gloss runs over my eyes. I followed right after her, sure of my intense feelings for her and the distinct possibility that she felt the same. She says how I was a temptation to her, and that was why she had tried to push me away. She grew angered at the entity of our relationship, at the way it nagged and pulled at her, and not because of me directly. The vexation it caused lead to her losing that unfortunate soul, and falling because of it. Now, we have arrived at the part of our story I had been so bewildered about, the part that made me truly question whether she loved me or not.

<br><br>I immediately feel horrid for ever assuming she was pleased over what she had done to me, but after all the negative signals, the pushing me away, the bitter words towards me, the downright denial of her love for me, I did not know what to think. Now that I know of all that she had gone through during our time together, all of the sentiments she had hid from me, that she had allowed to build up inside of her, it all makes perfect sense. It was a moment of weakness, a moment of true humanity, that had caused her to lead me into the darkness where I would be imprisoned. It was the horrendous pull of wanting one thing but forcing upon yourself the absolute opposite, the option that pains you the most, and she allowed it to affect her actions. She ends up shouting towards me, her emotions climaxing as a wretched cry escapes her, turning me rigid, my entire body longing to go to her and comfort her, but I know she is not finished. My eyes do turn softer than ever, an apology saturated in my powder blue gaze, as my forehead creases, an overwhelming sadness mixing along with my undying happiness in a strange mixture I can't quite grasp. Tears silently fall down my acute cheek, dripping off to the floor and wetting the marble beneath us, and I await her next words.

<br><br>A ghost of a smile strokes the edges of my eyes as I learn that I am the one who gave her the strength to go against Lord Hades in the first place. If it had been lighter circumstances, I might have even chortled, finding the notion humorous, but I suppose she is right. Who is more defiant than a man who refused to give up on the one he loved despite the plethora of upsetting obstacles that had been in his way? She speaks of how for so long she believed that I would no longer desire her after all that had happened, and I can see how incredulous she is to the fact that here I am, completely and utterly in love with her and all that she is, virtues and faults alike, despite all of the anguish she has placed upon me. My smile is more visible at this, reaching my eyes, for it is true. If anything, each of her recent words have only caused me to love her more, each reason behind her actions healing the stinging lacerations they had created.

<br><br>She steps towards me again, this time taking my hands in her own, and I reverse it, allowing my hands to engulf her small appendages. She speaks of how she deserves her punishment, and I truly know of the guilt she feels for what she has done to me, but I will never bestow a penalty upon her. I could not before, and I surely could not now, after all she has told me. The idea is blasphemous to me. She speaks of how she was an angel nearly stripped of her wings because of the human nature she had been kissed with, how she had been afraid of being without them, while also believing I only loved her because they existed. As I look upon her now, we both know that this is not true, and I feel as if some sort of weight has been lifted off the both of us, our forever intertwining paths clear of the confusion and tribulations that had clouded it before.

<br><br>She grants me the gift of telling me she loves me, Blagden Damocles, once more, but I ache as her face takes on a melancholy turn that I cannot bare to witness, and she apologizes to me. While I may have longed such a thing before, I feel that it is all unnecessary now. I have forgiven her a thousand times over and I will forgive her a thousand times again, and this will go on for eternity, for that is how long I shall love her.

<br><br>I love her and she loves me. After everything, that is all that matters.

<br><br>I feel as if I can move again, my blood awakening me down to the core, each bittersweet feeling in it's place and my joy coming to the forefront. I take just the smallest step forward, bringing us that much closer as I let go of her hands. "I shall pray that this is not a dream." I murmur with a gentle smile as I take her face in my hands, my slender fingers entwining her hair as my thumbs wipe the tears from her cheeks in a genial manner. Again, I move closer, toe to toe with her now, and I tower above her tiny stature, admiring her from above. "I almost believed that my ears had failed me when you spoke those words." I jest as I blink, tears escaping my eyes in an almost continuous stream.

<br><br>I take in a trembling breath before I precede to speak, holding back the urge to gleefully weep like the lovesick fool that I am, to fall to my knees and bury my face into her stomach, embracing her like I had when I was a child. "Do not apologize for what has happened, my beloved." I shake my head. "What's done is done. Neither of us have been perfect. We both know that does not exist." I tuck a hair behind her ear before I begin to stroke it back in a rhythmic fashion. "I know for certain love affects us in ways we never expect, both good and bad, and I could never condemn you for what you did. I don't crave an apology, or to punish you in any such way. On top of it all, all I wanted was your love." A smile, a handsome smile, free of the tortures I felt before, falls upon my lips. "And now I have that. I have you. You are what matters. We are what matter." I pause, the hand that was stroking her hair reaching to brush away a dried tear that laid right beneath the middle of her eye, my touch cautious. "And, you shall always be my angel, wings or no wings."

<br><br>"I love you, Avaris." I whisper, like I have so many times before, and yet this time it's different. This time I am aware of her definite love for me. There is no fear of rejection, no caution, no sadness because I know she won't reciprocate my feelings. That has been stripped away, only to leave the sweet tones of my adoration and undying devotion to her. I take her chin in my thumb and forefinger delicately, and my eyes grow alight, enchanted with the idea that comes to me, of what I am now able to do, after all this time. "My morning star." I murmur the endearment to her before I lean down the near foot of difference between us and plant my lips upon her own, finally indulging myself in a kiss with her. It is soft but sure, my passion kindling there, and it is just as wondrous as I could have ever imagined it to be. It sends a snug warmth through me, a contentment, and I linger there for an entire minute, for such time is nothing to those of us with eternal lives, before I pull away, a charmed grin lighting up my visage.

<br><br>A warmhearted laugh escapes me and I reach up to wipe a smudge of dirt off of her jaw, "Now, you must allow me to spoil you like I have dreamed of." I take a gander around my lavish throne room before my eyes turn back to her face. The room cannot compare. "In the castle I built for you, for us." I take her hand in my mine, my long fingers lacing with hers. "Allow me to pamper you and make you feel like the goddess you have always been to me, my never ending sunshine." As I end my words, I lift her hand and place a cordial kiss upon it, my eyes which rest upon her pleading, "Please?"
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SKINNED BY ALISON WONDERLAND OF ATF.