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Brain Bubbles; How else would I introduce myself?
Topic Started: Jan 7 2005, 02:41 AM (151 Views)
Haywood
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False Local
No one has impacted my life as much as Fluffy has. Fluffy and I were comrades in arms during the great war, but I often had to look after him like a little brother due to the fact that he was a tray table. We were unstobbable on the field of conbat. Vindicated, we stood at the tops of the majestic mountains and laughed toward the heavens. Finally, we could go home! But that's when disaster struck.

You know how people tell you to check bread and milk before you ingest it into your series of intestinal tubing? Well, you'd best do just that, 'cause that's how they got Fluffy! Wait...

No, huh? Bread? No! No, Fluffy was gunned down in Tienamen Square! By pirates! Ninja Pirates! With Burger King crowns, signifying they were meat royalty or something. Of course, this was before it was called Tienamen Square. No, at this point it was called Backalley Behind a Bar in Butte, Montana. Or maybe it really was a backalley behind a bar in Butte, Montana. In case you can't tell, I had hit the bottle a little hard that night. Or maybe a bottle hit me. In the head. At a high velocity. I can't really be sure anymore.

Now where was I? Oh yes, Fluffy. If you want to get your eggs REAL fluffy, you need to use the right amount of milk. Of course, we all know that eggs are a lie fabricated by the Founding Fathers to keep us in line while they harvested our bodies for use as batteries. Think about it- how would you get a chicken into an egg in the first place without breaking the shell? It doesn't make any sense.

Speaking of not making sense, I once came across a jug of orange juice in a gas station bathroom in San Firitas Valley (if such a place exists) that had 100% Real Juice from Concentrate printed on the label. Naturally, I concentrated really hard, but no orange juice came out of my head. I sued the company for flagrant false advertisement and made enough to pay back Hugo, the circus strongman for that time I needed a new martini umbrella.

Fun factoid- umbrellas weren't used mainstream for hundreds of years because they were considered too feminine for use. Now an actor can get famous for tucking his willy between his legs and wearing rouge in Silence of the Lambs, which is another name for when Larry the Cable Guy walks into a barn, apparently. Amazing what you can learn on a day-to-day basis isn't it?
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Erichermit
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Loathsome Lusca!
Rofl
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^Click to be reffered to the Enex2 Topic^

"i like to tell people i have the heart of a young boy, then i tell them its in a jar on my desk" - Steven King
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kamain
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I heaby declare this the secodn strangest thing I've ever read.. the first being the hitchikers guisde to the galaxy
Working on Reality BReakdown Kels war!
if you want to help ask me!

PART ONE COMPLETE!
http://kamain.com/rbkw.zip
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DemiWolf
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Hey look at this!
FLUFFY!!! :(
I am, like, totally new here.

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Deleted User
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i thought you were ment to introduce your self...... wait he did........ darn it.................................... im confused thats the strangest way someone has introduced themslves in a long time.......... weird
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Darkness Seraph
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The Crimson Reaver....
.....Wierd...But still it was funny as Dark place! Hey Kamain maybe we should move this to funny quotes and pictures lol.
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Cid
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I'm scared out of my mind. Mainly because I understood that...
I liked Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

42!!!
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Okay, so I'm keeping the Sloganizer...
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Deleted User
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Your not gunna wanna hear it... 6x9=42
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Dorito
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Slice.
O.O That was......words.
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Hollywood
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486f6c6c79776f6f64
how can 6 x 9= 42? isnt 7 x 6 = 42?

but that was the craziest thing i have ever heard in my entire life.
You'd never believe I still exist....
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Lordofinfinity
Farewell.
:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:
Bizzare... Just plain bizzare.
I'm gone, may be back, most likely wont.
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Akakios
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Nice! But WTF is a factoid?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Rofl! I loved that story....
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Haywood
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False Local
A factoid is... well... how should I explain this...?

See, when a man and a woman love cheeseburgers very much, they want to express their love of cheeseburgers by citing poetry off the ingredients list that many fast food restaurants are now required to include. These may include (but are not limited to) such masterpieces as "Chokeyburgers are made with 80% artichoke fat." These little snippets are what we call "factoids."

It's a fun word, "factoid." I learned it from a hobo with a weasel chewing on his elbow. So I said to the hobo, I says, "Hobo, you have a weasel chewing on your elbow. So he looks down at the weasel. It looks back at him with those wide, sad weasel eyes, then he stuffs it into his hat and shouts, "There is no weasel! He's MY dinner! Get your own, fishmagnet!"

This intrigued me. Now, I don't like seafood but if I did, I think it'd be pretty handy to have a fishmagnet on me at all times. Nothing too large or gaudy- it doesn't need to exude any levels of "bling." Just something small, sensible, and compact would be nice. That's if I enjoyed seafood, of course. I could just walk near a pier and WHAM! I got dinner with no fuss, no muss, and absolutely no bodily fluids involved. But I don't like seafood, so to me it would be very UNhandy.

Unhandy... I think they used to call me "Handless Bob" as a kid, now that I think about it. Not becuase I didn't have hands, but because I didn't have sweat glands. See, postmodernism was very popular at my preschool and irony equaled funtastic!
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Akakios
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How "Ricther Haywood" of you o.O
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Lordofinfinity
Farewell.
Did he even explain what a factiod was?
Sorry but I have the attention span of a flying butt monkeyszu.

EDIT: HEY!! A Sh!Tzu is a dog not a swear goddammit! :angry:
Darn language filter. <_<
I'm gone, may be back, most likely wont.
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Akakios
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its Shih Tzu lol
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