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| Hello My Children | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 20 2008, 02:40 PM (236 Views) | |
| God | Apr 20 2008, 02:40 PM Post #1 |
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Shabom
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Greetings. I am the one who created it all. Seeing as how I haven't made an appearance in 10,000+ years, I figured I'd just go onto a computer and type all my feelings here. First of all, I'd like to thank for the 3 billion+ supporters who have really backed me up for the past 7.5K years. It really means a lot to me that half the people around Earth look up to me and accept me as their lord and savior. It's great that Earth is such a great world, they really know how to praise someone. I am still currently trying to get the people of Blorgon Orion XVII to believe in my existence, but I can't do that without making an appearance in person. Oh, I also would like to thank your pope for having mass at Yankee stadium today. It really means a lot to me that people are making large gatherings to make sure of my existence. I also want to thank all the rappers who credit me for helping them inspire their ability to write songs about thug life. They will get a special seat in heaven for this. Speaking of which. The commandments are all false. They were made by a drunk guy roughly about 2008 years ago. But, seriously, someone prove to Satan that they are all false. I want Hitler up here because I heard he throws killer birthday parties. Oh, and my real name is Phyllis MeFuji. But keep calling me God because it's easier to pronounce and because I've gotten use to being called God and Phyllis MeFuji might sound awkward because I haven't been called it in so long. Thanks and bless you all. <3 |
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| Naoko | Apr 20 2008, 02:51 PM Post #2 |
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God is a female Japanese lady. YAY |
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| Mr. Storm | Apr 20 2008, 03:36 PM Post #3 |
Child of Dust
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... |
 "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo Galilei | |
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| Naoko | Apr 20 2008, 04:26 PM Post #4 |
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If it makes you feel any better, the IP address locates to New Jersey. God is from New Jersey. Apparently. |
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| Mr. Storm | Apr 20 2008, 04:36 PM Post #5 |
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Child of Dust
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I would think Satan would come from Jersey. |
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"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo Galilei | |
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| Naoko | Apr 20 2008, 04:45 PM Post #6 |
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But his name is God. HE'S WATCHING OVER LOLLY Oh my god it all makes sense now |
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| Millumi | Apr 20 2008, 04:52 PM Post #7 |
???
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yeah, that makes alot more sense |
 Hard work pays off later, Procrastination pays off now | |
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| Fullmetal | Apr 20 2008, 04:59 PM Post #8 |
Perma-bored
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...I already hate you. |
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| Tedyz | Apr 20 2008, 05:16 PM Post #9 |
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Ultimate pwnage.
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Die. :[ |
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| Arnieboy | Apr 20 2008, 05:39 PM Post #10 |
Gibdo
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ROFL! XD |
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| God | Apr 20 2008, 07:15 PM Post #11 |
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Shabom
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If by Lolly, you mean James Terrence Reynolds, who goes by the name "LollyWolly", then yes.
Well, no both Satan AND I come from New Jersey. You see, Satan was once one of my angels. We usually would hang around Newark, but once he betrayed me, I sent him to Atlantic City.
My child, hate is such a strong word. I would prefer "extremely dislike". |
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| Naoko | Apr 20 2008, 09:16 PM Post #12 |
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Wrong Lollywolly. =/ |
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| LollyWolly | Apr 20 2008, 09:45 PM Post #13 |
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Cranky
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Hey God! What exit off the Parkway do you live? I'm off 153, but you already knew that because you know everything. I have a question, if you sent Satan to Atlantic City then why has that become a mafia-run casino party beach and Newark is still a crime cesspool? You should get on that. By the way I'd like to pray that you get rid of that mall between highway 3 and highway 495 next to Giants Stadium... its making traffic suck even more. |
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| NoriakiZ | Apr 21 2008, 06:08 PM Post #14 |
Peahat
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No way. You are not God. God is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY cooler than you. |
Billy Mays can sell bibles to Atheists. | |
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| Mr. Storm | Apr 21 2008, 06:37 PM Post #15 |
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Child of Dust
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...what? |
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"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galileo Galilei | |
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