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| Phantasy Star Universe; Argh. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 2 2007, 10:58 PM (504 Views) | |
| Fullmetal | Aug 2 2007, 10:58 PM Post #1 |
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Moblin
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![]() This game is horrible. Horrible to such a degree that I'm gonna say just one thing. Hotel Mario is a better game than this. Except you have to pay every month to play this one There are many problems with this game that I will cover in this review. Well, first of all, there is NOTHING entertaining in this game. Okay, picture this. You're playing Runescape. Except it's in space, a quarter of the players are in a town, spamming messages all over your screen saying "LOL TRIPLE MONEY CHEAT" and "SELLING PORN PIC 800$". Now then, it's a space game. So what kind of weapons do we have? Well how about beam swords and laser guns, and since we can't have a RPG without magic, let's have a mage class which really doesn't fit the theme and will use all sorts of spells coming from other RPGs, except with crappier animations and crappier names. How original. Well then, what about the gameplay? Okay, so you have to do missions to earn money, exp, and job points, who end up making you a better gunner/warrior/mage. What's the problem here? The missions are all the same. Sometimes, you're in a space building thing, sometimes, you're outside, but that's not the point. The point is that all the missions have the same objectives: get at the end of the level, fighting monsters suffering from the poor AI syndrom along the way. What do I mean by poor AI? Dragons blowing fire at totally random spots around them, creatures who just start following you very slowly, while you run 10 times faster than them, and bosses who paralyze you for 10 seconds and can't manage to land a single blow on you during that time. Sometimes you need keys to move on to the next room, and you get them by killing monsters. This is what kills the game. All you do is shoot monsters. I hope you didn't think there were puzzles, because there's nothing else. It's just like running around in circles. You kill monsters to get money to get better equipment to kill more monsters to get more money to get even better equipement and so on and so on. Now, we all know MMORPGs are also about communication with other players. But this one just goes too far with that. First of all, you can send a message while showing a facial expression to everyone near you. Yep, so the 50 players selling porn all see your big, disformed face smiling AND taking 1/4 of their screen space, too. The instant messaging function sucks, too. It doesn't care if your words are complete or not, all the lines must be equal. So you end up with messages like I like cooki es and mil k with my p izza. Grotesque. Now, about the characters. You can choose between Human, Newman (they're so original, they had to rename elves. Cause that's what they are) Beasts, and Cast, who look like robots. Beasts are exactly the same as in Fire Emblem 9. They are generally bigger humans with animal ears and can transform into various animals during combat. Apparently, beasts suck with guns, but the game is so easy, you can make one a gunner just like that. It's like making a melee fighting sorceress in Diablo II, except that in that case, it doesn't work. The graphics aren't bad, but they suck at doing their jobs. It's a space game, it should have advanced animations, well built environnment and amazing cutscenes. Well no. Make way for these incredibly sucky animations, environnments taken from a 16-bit star wars shooter game and below average cutscenes. Oh, and guess what? ALL the cities look like shopping malls, because that's what they are. Except you have a useless personal room in those malls, where you can stash all those useless decorations you found during your boring missions. Oh, and there's this aweful, boring, ear-killing elevator music that loops and loops until you leave town. All the characters look the same, no matter how much you modify them, and the robots look like humans, but grey. You have to zoom in on their face to see that they actually have metal parts. As for the storyline, it sucks too (you didn't expect that didn't you?) You are Ethan Waber, a cliché wannabe who enjoys flying around on a flying surf board (Wow, never seen that before). After monsters started appearing, you become some sort of mercenary, meet other cliché characters as you uncover the secrets of a crappy storyline. Multiplayer Storyline: N/A To this game, I give the incredible note of [size=7]0.02/10[/size] I've never seen a MMORPG that bad. You'd have more fun playing Runescape, Diablo II or whatever free MMO you want on the net. Forget about this game. And you know what's even worse? The expansion pack is coming out soon! |
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| Tedyz | Aug 2 2007, 11:21 PM Post #2 |
Ultimate pwnage.
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This game is bad. BAD. |
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| Link_of_animals | Aug 3 2007, 06:11 AM Post #3 |
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Master of Cows, MASTER..OF THE WORLD!
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They can send you porn!? O_O |
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| Fullmetal | Aug 3 2007, 08:27 PM Post #4 |
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Moblin
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Yeah, they can. |
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