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Confessions; Write your confessions here
Topic Started: Apr 22 2007, 05:27 PM (1,990 Views)
in_infrared
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ginger
Dec 30 2007, 03:19 PM
in_infrared
Dec 30 2007, 03:13 PM
ginger
Dec 24 2007, 09:51 PM
Confession:

I love Christmas, but it makes me think, and that's never a good thing.

As much as I love my family, I do wonder. Had my birth mum wanted me, what would my life be now?

Every year I think this. And every year I'm no closer to finding an answer.

I still love Christmas though.

You were adopted to?


I was also. Apparently my REAL mother was not fit enough to take care of me. She was a little ehhh....lets just say i wasn't supposed to find out about her.

BUT she found me later cause my 'mom' or my Aunt told me about her.


Even then...I wonder the SAME thing. What if I was my real mothers daughter instead of my 'Aunt'?


Life would not be what it is now i guarantee. Though i do wonder what type of person i would have become. I know i would not be this type of person I am now.

I totally understand you here Whether my comment helped or not.

Definitely helped, thanks!

For her to find you must have been challenging for you: I think one of the things that I appreciate about my situation is that I have control over whether I want to search for her or not, I think i'd freak if that was taken away from me.

I know I'd be a different person. I know life would be very different. I guess a little part of me wonders if it would have been better (I wouldn't be as attachment disordered as I am now) but the practical part of me knows that most likely, life would have been a hell of a lot worse.

I don't remember what i did or said when i found out.

When my mom told me, I was about 7 ish and didn't really understand that meant.

Now i do. I think it's a VERY big step to want to find your real mother. She could either be who she was then, or maybe changed.


Either way, it's going to take a lot of understanding and patience to find her if one day you choose. Hopefully if you do find her, she won't be what you expected her from her past.

Who knows, maybe she would hug you and say she loves you. Or maybe not and just look at you passive.

I think it's worth a shot someday when your ready.


As for my mother, i know where she lives. If i wanted to, i could drive down to California and see her and the rest of my family who visit her often.

It's just getting the guts and time to go see her. Not sure what i would wear or say when i do meet her finally. I know she's not sane in the mind, so seeing me would probably make her upset and overjoyed. But depressed after i left.


Hopefully one day you'll want to find her or maybe not. But that option will always be there or i can sort of be sure it will :)










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Geo~Toni
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Oh wow... didnt realise you guys where adopted.

One of my mates is, he was adopted and told me about his real family. Weirdly enough they're the same surname as mine... but we're not related. He even went back to the house where they lived. I dont really know much else but he's happier where he is.
His sister though, one of them did actually get in touch with him last yr. and they did meet up. But from what i heard she didnt keep in touch. My mate was nervous about meeting her, and he did feel let down when she didnt keep in touch and making up reasons why she hadnt been in touch.

From seeing how he's been i can't even imagine how it is for you guys, all i can wish you is luck if one day you do decide to go and search for them. ((((hugs)))) Sorry cant be much useful here.
Blessed be, Geo Toni x~X~x

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in_infrared
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I really want to do this Lap Top things for this link One Laptop per Child

I've read most of the website and how it explains what they do.

Really i think i want to do this. Sounds interesting but helps children connect and learn.

That's all im in if for :hearts:

I'm still thinking about it though.
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steph
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in_infrared
Jan 1 2008, 12:23 AM
I really want to do this Lap Top things for this link One Laptop per Child

I've read most of the website and how it explains what they do.

Really i think i want to do this. Sounds interesting but helps children connect and learn.

That's all im in if for :hearts:

I'm still thinking about it though.

I hope I am one of the children included in this scheme. I really need one too. :cry:

:o That's bad! I DO want one though. I want one but i dont need one. How do you take part in it?


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in_infrared
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Sometimes I want to write out a Will.

Just in case I die too early, I want my parents to write to everybody on m Livejournal and say what happened and my last goodbye. Mostly because I am terrified none of my online friends will know that I am gone.

So that's part of my last request note. I also want to find a heir to my band posters and my movie ticket theater stub collection *yes for reals*



I also THINK I want to become an Airplane Mechanic.

After my first 6 months at my job i have now, i can become something else. So, i figure why not a mechanic. I in no way want this to be my only job for the rest of my life *unlike a lot of others*

I think it would be really neat to work with Delta 767 airplanes, UPS planes and Southwest. Fixing them up, fixing the interior..then watching them take off for the first time in several months.


But we'll see about the mechanic thing. If i'll even be able to that is haha.
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steph
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in_infrared
Jan 6 2008, 02:54 AM
Sometimes I want to write out a Will.

Just in case I die too early, I want my parents to write to everybody on m Livejournal and say what happened and my last goodbye. Mostly because I am terrified none of my online friends will know that I am gone.

So that's part of my last request note. I also want to find a heir to my band posters and my movie ticket theater stub collection *yes for reals*

Oh, I always think about this! What if something happened to me, and nobody told my internet people. One day I'd just disappear and nobody on the net would know where i went! This happened once, this girl on a forum I used to post on was around almost every day. Then one time, she just never came back. She disappeared. My friend wrote to her because she had her address in america, She sent her a letter and gifts and the girl just never responded. I dont even know what came of that, I think she's still never been in touch. Nobody knows what's happened. :(


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Geo~Toni
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steph
Jan 6 2008, 03:20 PM
in_infrared
Jan 6 2008, 02:54 AM
Sometimes I want to write out a Will.

Just in case I die too early, I want my parents to write to everybody on m Livejournal and say what happened and my last goodbye. Mostly because I am terrified none of my online friends will know that I am gone.

So that's part of my last request note. I also want to find a heir to my band posters and my movie ticket theater stub collection *yes for reals*

Oh, I always think about this! What if something happened to me, and nobody told my internet people. One day I'd just disappear and nobody on the net would know where i went! This happened once, this girl on a forum I used to post on was around almost every day. Then one time, she just never came back. She disappeared. My friend wrote to her because she had her address in america, She sent her a letter and gifts and the girl just never responded. I dont even know what came of that, I think she's still never been in touch. Nobody knows what's happened. :(

I had the same thing too with someone i knew online... and i do also think about it as well, maybe not so much as a will... But maybe (as i keep diary's) write all the stuff in those so IF something did happen, my mum knows about my diary, so she can see that and know what to do.
Blessed be, Geo Toni x~X~x

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steph
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I remember a few summers ago. I used to love James Blunt. I played his album all summer and i had a huge crush on him. Now...I don't really care that much about his music. I kind of got bored of the music and my obsession faded. It's weird how you can think you love a singer so much and want to put all their lyrics in your sig etc then suddenly change your mind. I miss the feeling of loving james blunt though. :lol: Embarassing as it was...I wish i still liked him! Maybe I will listen to his album tonight and try to rekindle my love of him. :D What a weirdo. :/

I suppose that's not really a confession..just a general thing that occured to me right now.


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in_infrared
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I'm actually for Hillary Clinton.


Not just because she's a woman either.
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Nienna
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Hehe, for a second I thought you'd said "I'm actually Hillary Clinton". Took me a second to see the for ^_^. I don't really follow politics, so I don't know who I'm for one way or another.

~Darren Hayes @ Joe's Pub New York City 03/29/07 ~
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in_infrared
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Nienna
Jan 20 2008, 05:35 PM
Hehe, for a second I thought you'd said "I'm actually Hillary Clinton". Took me a second to see the for ^_^. I don't really follow politics, so I don't know who I'm for one way or another.

I don't much either. But this Election is starting to get to me.

I've never had interests in Politics [ mostly because i suck at debating ], but most of everything that Hillary stands for i actually want to help support.

This is one time i actually researched most of the politicians. Not just because she's
[ might ] be our first woman president in few centuries of men.

A lot of what she wants i want, which is helpful haha.

I have a big reason, mostly for what she wants to help with, but since i suck at debating, i'm just gonna drop it here.

It's up to everybody else to decide what they want for this country [ which is in dire need of change ]
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steph
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There seems to be alot of coverage in this country about the US elections and so I guess I've kind of been forced to pay attention. Hilary Clinton seems like a good kind of role model president. Whatever happens and whoever gets elected, I feel like this new president will somehow cause a big shift in the world. Not that I have psychic powers or anything, I just kind of think this feels like a big deal to me when it never did before.


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Nienna
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As far as I'm concerned, they can't get any worse than the monkey they have in there now. Actually, I'm sorry, that was in insult to monkeys...a monkey could probably do a better job.

(I'm not actually in a hostile mood, ^^ just came out that way haha!)

~Darren Hayes @ Joe's Pub New York City 03/29/07 ~
<img src="http://chart.apis.google.com/chart?cht=t&chs=440x220&chtm=usa&chf=bg,s,336699&chco=d0d0d0,cc0000&chd=s:999&chld=WACANY" width="440" height="220" ><br/>visited 3 states (6%)<br/><a href="http://douweosinga.com/projects/visited?region=usa">Create your own visited map of The United States</a> or <a href="http://www.tonjafabritz.com/nederlands">vertaling nederlands duits?</a>
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Geo~Toni
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Nienna
Jan 21 2008, 04:15 AM
As far as I'm concerned, they can't get any worse than the monkey they have in there now. Actually, I'm sorry, that was in insult to monkeys...a monkey could probably do a better job.

(I'm not actually in a hostile mood, ^^ just came out that way haha!)

Pmsl... Thats true. Poor monkeys Nienna didnt mean it! :P
Blessed be, Geo Toni x~X~x

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27th September 07 ~ Time Machine Tour, Birmingham
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in_infrared
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Nienna
Jan 21 2008, 03:15 AM
As far as I'm concerned, they can't get any worse than the monkey they have in there now. Actually, I'm sorry, that was in insult to monkeys...a monkey could probably do a better job.

(I'm not actually in a hostile mood, ^^ just came out that way haha!)

How can you insult the monkeys??

It's true though. lol.

Poor Monkeys.

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