CHRISTMAS PARTY ANNOUNCEMENT

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CHRISTMAS PARTY ANNOUNCEMENT
Tweet Topic Started: Dec 4 2007, 09:21 AM (618 Views)
greatwhiteelkhunter	Dec 4 2007, 09:21 AM Post #1
Ruler of the Mountain Posts: 2,458 Group: Member Member #31 Joined: September 7, 2006	I just had to share this one > > CHRISTMAS PARTY ANNOUNCEMENT > > > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > > TO: All Employees > > DATE: October 01, 2004 > > RE: Christmas Party > > > > I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party > > will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room > > at the Grill House. > > > > There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a > > small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. > > > > And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! > > > > A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts > > among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over > > $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering > > is only for employees! & gt; > > > Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! > > > > Merry Christmas to you and your family. > > > > Patty > > ************************************************* > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > > TO: All Employees > > DATE: October 02, 2004 > > RE: Holiday Party > > > > In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our > > Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which > > often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, > > from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." > > > > The same policy applies to any other employees who are not > > Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. > > > > There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. > > > > We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? > > > > Happy Holidays to you and your family. > > > > Patty > > ************************************************* > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > > TO: All Employees > > DATE: October 03, 2004 > > RE: Holiday Party > > > > Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics > > Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm > > happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, > > "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. > > > > How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? > > > > Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are > > allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and > > executives believ e $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. > > ============================================================ > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > > To: All Employees > > RE: Holiday Party > > > > What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 > > begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking > > during daylight hours. > > > > There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a > > luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' > > beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the > > end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little > > foil doggy baggy. Will that work? > > > > Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to > > sit farthest from The des sert buffet and pregnant women will get the table > > closest to the restrooms. > > > > Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not > > have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be > > flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. > > > > To the person asking permission to cross dress, no > > cross-dressing allowed though. > > > > We will have booster seats for short people. > > > > Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. > > > > We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for > > those people with high blood pressure to taste first. > > > > There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the > > restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! > > > > Did I miss anything?!?!? > > > > Patty > ; > ******************************************** > > FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director > > TO: All F** Employees > > DATE: October 05, 2004 > > RE: The F** Holiday Party > > > > Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going > > to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can > > sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you > > so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f** salad bar, including organic > > tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice > > them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all > > have a rotten holiday! > > > > Drive drunk and die, > > The Bitc& from HELL!!!!!!!! > > ******************************************* > > FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting H uman Resources Director > > DATE: October 06, 2004 > > RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party > > > > I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a > > speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the > > meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone > > the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. > > > > Happy Holidays!



Duke	Dec 4 2007, 03:30 PM Post #2
Duke Posts: 1,243 Group: Member Member #19 Joined: August 22, 2006	:lol: I'm sorry Patty imploded, I was going to send a memo asking if guys are supposed to wear burkas :ph43r: over their Santa's helper hats and since I am diabetic if they are going to have sugar free drinks or should I bring my own or drink water and if we are supposed to take the bullets out of our pistols or leave them in and since it is kind of a family time of year I think being an animal lover I should be allowed to bring my dogs and cats, if not I will call PETA and sue this company for animal cruelty? :wacko: Thanks for sharing that, I had a good laugh even though it is nuts that things have gotten so bad with some people in this country, I was thinking I should laugh or I would implode like poor Patty, Duke



greatwhiteelkhunter	Dec 5 2007, 12:15 AM Post #3
Ruler of the Mountain Posts: 2,458 Group: Member Member #31 Joined: September 7, 2006	Does kinda show how far or should I say how LOW we have gotten in these days Here is another one for you! This is Larry the cable guy reading the politically corrected The night before Christmas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDqu7kNX5zI



VMI84	Dec 5 2007, 10:47 AM Post #4
Posts: 1,162 Group: Moderator Member #363 Joined: November 11, 2007	As for me I think I will celebrate Ramadan the same way I did when I was stationed in Saudi Arabia and was promoted. With a ham sandwich washed down with a cold beer.



Duke	Dec 5 2007, 11:56 AM Post #5
Duke Posts: 1,243 Group: Member Member #19 Joined: August 22, 2006	GWEH, Larry the Cable Guy did a good and funny job of the ; "non-denominational winter holiday story"/"The Night Before Christmas". Another good representation of the craziness far too many people have done their best to force upon others. I highlighted the link, right clicked, copied, and will paste it in an e-mail to send to family and friends. It's just too good to pass up. Even the word "Holiday" is offensive to the PC crowd, because it comes from "Holy Day" I think. A Very Merry Christmas to You and All GWEH, thanks for a very good and funny topic, Duke



greatwhiteelkhunter	Dec 5 2007, 12:30 PM Post #6
Ruler of the Mountain Posts: 2,458 Group: Member Member #31 Joined: September 7, 2006	Duke,Dec 5 2007 10:56 AM GWEH, Larry the Cable Guy did a good and funny job of the ; "non-denominational winter holiday story"/"The Night Before Christmas". Another good representation of the craziness far too many people have done their best to force upon others. I highlighted the link, right clicked, copied, and will paste it in an e-mail to send to family and friends. It's just too good to pass up. Even the word "Holiday" is offensive to the PC crowd, because it comes from "Holy Day" I think. A Very Merry Christmas to You and All GWEH, thanks for a very good and funny topic, Duke Your welcome!! Just needed to laugh you know To be honest I'm feeling the predeployment cycle start and it's not such a good feeling so I need to laugh........



Ali	Dec 5 2007, 10:47 PM Post #7
Ruler of the Mountain Posts: 1,565 Group: Member Member #102 Joined: December 1, 2006	I love the baseball cap still on his head with the Santa hat (matching his shirt!) - you can't tell me the guy isn't fashionable!!



Duke	Dec 17 2007, 03:46 PM Post #8
Duke Posts: 1,243 Group: Member Member #19 Joined: August 22, 2006	GWEH, You may enjoy this one, I also just posted it in my topic in the humor/ jokes section; No Nativity Scene There will be no Nativity Scene in the United State Congress this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capitol this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason,,,,, they simply have not been able to find... three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough female and jackasses to fill the stable.



greatwhiteelkhunter	Dec 17 2007, 06:37 PM Post #9
Ruler of the Mountain Posts: 2,458 Group: Member Member #31 Joined: September 7, 2006	Duke,Dec 17 2007 02:46 PM GWEH, You may enjoy this one, I also just posted it in my topic in the humor/ jokes section; No Nativity Scene There will be no Nativity Scene in the United State Congress this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capitol this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason,,,,, they simply have not been able to find... three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough female and jackasses to fill the stable. Boy is that the truth!!!



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