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SAH Moms; Guys, take note!
Topic Started: Jan 8 2007, 10:46 PM (248 Views)
countrymouse
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STAY-AT-HOME MOMS DESERVE A YEARLY SALARY OF $131,471

According to the website Salary.com, based on all of the jobs that a stay-at-home mom does, THAT would be her salary if, ya know, she actually got paid.

Some of the jobs that stay-at-home moms do: Day-care center teacher, driver, housekeeper, cook, nurse, personal shopper, nutritionist, therapist, personal assistant and general maintenance worker.

The $131K salary is based on a 40-hour work week with an annual take of $43,462. . . plus 60 hours of overtime each week, netting an extra $88,009 for the year.

Bill Coleman, the senior vice president of compensation at Salary.com, says, quote, "The importance of this calculation is just calling attention to the fact that being a stay-at-home mom is not a cop out, it's not the woman's way out of the workforce and it's not a job of no value." (Salary.com)
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Condor
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Well, I sure couldn't afford to hire them. I guess I should charge about a grand for an oil change at that rate. Of course, if they had to suffer evaluation and employment termination for inadequate performance, it may be a lot better than the situation we have now.
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Sibs
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I was a working Mom, then a stay at home Mom, then a working Mom. My advice to all new Moms is NEVER go back to work. I went back cause Dad was working so much overtime that he was never home. Worst decision I ever made. For us that llittle bit of extra income became another career and I can honestly say that I am a terrible working Mother and it's just not worth it. Yet, here I am, still at work. Not my husbands fault, he has a good job and has worked two jobs to get us thru when we needed it while I was working. Womens Lib screwed over the American family. Sorry to all you Women who disagree. My opinion only.
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Condor
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I agree with you. Only one should work out of the house. I really don't care which one, but the other should be home for the kids. Yeah, do a little dusting too! I hear the "for the kids" dialog so often in our society as an excuse for everything from laziness to drug use that I hate to hear it any more.
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Sibs
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My guess is that I may take a lot of heat for my opinion, but I believe it's true. I also agree that it doesn't matter which one stay home as long as one of the parents is there to nurture on a full time basis. My husband and I worked opposite shifts for a long time so that one of us was always in the home caring for the family, but it's really hard to do that. Still better than daycare.
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Sibs
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Working opposite shifts does not leave one parent home to nurture on a full time basis.
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Condor
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There were times when Betty had to work. When that happened, we worked different shifts as well. I can count the times we used baby sitters on one (maybe two) hands.
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countrymouse
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k, so yeah i agree with y'all...we totaly screwed ourselves over with the whole women's lib thing, but what don't we screw ourselves over with?

i think too, though the way we think about "necessities" doesn't help matters...God provides us with all we need...everything else is an illusion of greed, excess, desire, sin...we give in to the notion that we need a big house, shiny car, television, a closet full of clothes, junk food, toys, internet :) ...

this side of human nature has placed a lot of pressure on men who have historically been the "bread winners" of the family...many women who have traditionally stayed home with the kids i think have gotten bored, greedy and resentful and therefore put more pressure on the men to bring home more "bacon" and if they don't, then nag, nag, nag or mom goes out to do it herself...dad's resentful of mom wanting, pushing, so he loses respect for her...mom wants, pushes, so she loses respect for dad...kids are spoiled and have no respect for either one of them...vicious cycle!

so then that leads to the single mom syndrome and women like me who believe heart & soul in being home for the family not being able to...fortunately i was able to spend the formative years with my kids, but it has not been without a price...that's ok, the sacrifice was worth it! but, now i find myself struggling to find where i fit in this world, because it just doesn't match my core being and somehow, i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way!

k, i reckon i done got off on another tangent so i'll stop....that there's my :two-cents:
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Tami65
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I believe that one of the arents, doesn't matter which, should be with the kids. They need that interaction.

However, I do know also that in today's times unless that one parent is making sufficient money, it takes two to work and pay the bills. Thank God my hubby makes a good salary and I can be here for my son.
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Condor
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countrymouse,Jan 9 2007
06:09 AM
k, so yeah i agree with y'all...we totaly screwed ourselves over with the whole women's lib thing, but what don't we screw ourselves over with? 

i think too, though the way we think about "necessities" doesn't help matters...God provides us with all we need...everything else is an illusion of greed, excess, desire, sin...we give in to the notion that we need a big house, shiny car, television, a closet full of clothes, junk food, toys, internet  :) ...

this side of human nature has placed a lot of pressure on men who have historically been the "bread winners" of the family...many women who have traditionally stayed home with the kids i think have gotten bored, greedy and resentful and therefore put more pressure on the men to bring home more "bacon" and if they don't, then nag, nag, nag or mom goes out to do it herself...dad's resentful of mom wanting, pushing, so he loses respect for her...mom wants, pushes, so she loses respect for dad...kids are spoiled and have no respect for either one of them...vicious cycle! 

so then that leads to the single mom syndrome and women like me who believe heart & soul in being home for the family not being able to...fortunately i was able to spend the formative years with my kids, but it has not been without a price...that's ok, the sacrifice was worth it!  but, now i find myself struggling to find where i fit in this world, because it just doesn't match my core being and somehow, i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way!

k, i reckon i done got off on another tangent so i'll stop....that there's my  :two-cents:

Speaking of the loss you have to accept for the kids, my oldest daughter was pretty wild starting at 14. We were in La Paz, Bolivia and she used to want to stay out all night and frequent clubs that were run by drug lords. She ran with the daughter of the DEA director and I can't think of a much more dangerous situation to put yourself in. I was due reassignment and my choices were the Department in DC or Canberra. If we took Canberra, the kids would miss almost a year of school because they are on a different schedule. If we took the DC assignment with the Metro so easily available, my kid would surely get herself into disaster. I eventually wrangled an assignment to Ottawa and we enjoyed it throughly. The downside is that I had to take a downstretch to go to Ottawa. That forced me to miss a promotion. During the assignment, the Department merged two branches and that put me at the bottom of the que for the promotion and the result is that I missed it entirely. My daughter still has no concept of what I did to keep her safe. She just thinks I was too harsh a disciplinarian and resents that. Being a parent is truly a thankless job!

Having my daughter living in that cow pasture on the edge of Manotick, Ontario sure kept her safe though. PS, she resents that too!
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Sandylee
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So how much more would I have made because I did all the required activities plus shagging balls for the Little Leaguers, milking goats, herding cattle, raising and butchering chicken, ducks, geese and hogs, gardening in a 100x 100 ft lot including digging by hand, loading and hauling and digging in two truckloads of steer manure, digging ditches, baking all the bread for a family of 7, making cheese, headcheese, rendering lard, knitting, sewing ... etc, etc, etc. I should be a millionaire by now.

:garfield:
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countrymouse
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Quote:
 
baking all the bread for a family of 7, making cheese


sandylee,

i hear ya! recipes and cheesemaking directions please!
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Toothless Dawg
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Quote:
 
Having my daughter living in that cow pasture on the edge of Manotick, Ontario sure kept her safe though. PS, she resents that too!


:lol: :lol: :lol: The thankless part is what makes parents a parent. Your descriptions sounds so durn familiar with my own child rearing experiences. There does come a time in the childs life however, where they realize exactly what was sacrificed and that you were NOT the dumbest person on the face of the earth .... certainly dumber than everybody elses parents :lol: :lol: :lol: That was my satisfaction, when I heard that from the kids!!!

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Herb
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Toothless Dawg,Jan 9 2007
05:07 PM
Quote:
 
Having my daughter living in that cow pasture on the edge of Manotick, Ontario sure kept her safe though. PS, she resents that too!


:lol: :lol: :lol: The thankless part is what makes parents a parent. Your descriptions sounds so durn familiar with my own child rearing experiences. There does come a time in the childs life however, where they realize exactly what was sacrificed and that you were NOT the dumbest person on the face of the earth .... certainly dumber than everybody elses parents :lol: :lol: :lol: That was my satisfaction, when I heard that from the kids!!!

The greatest compliment from our son was when he was disiplining hs oldest daughter and he turned to us and said "She's 3 years old and I'm already starting to sound like you guys".
I know that we all make mistakes in the parenting job. We do the best we can and hope our off spring is smart enough to figure out the mistakes.
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Sandylee
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countrymouse,Jan 9 2007
04:58 PM
Quote:
 
baking all the bread for a family of 7, making cheese


sandylee,

i hear ya! recipes and cheesemaking directions please!

It has been a long time since I made the cheese. Can't remember how I did it exactly. I probably got the directions off a renet box. I think I curdled the milk and then strained it and squeezed it in a cheese cloth with a weight on top of it until it wasn't dripping any more and then dipped it in canning wax to seal it. My mother loved it but she like limburger too so who knows if it was good or not. I never ate any of it myself. The head cheese was an experience. I boiled the split and scrubbed heads with celery, onions, garlic, salt and pepper until the meat was falling off the bones, then picked what meat I could off and put in loaf pans and then poured the broth over and cooled until the gel set then sliced it off for sandwiches. Again, I wouldn't eat it because they kept looking at me while they boiled. The man of the house left the eyes in and I couldn't remove them. Don't laugh. I had to get half sloshed on beer to do it and I don't drink . Must have been a funny sight. The bread was just a plain old recipe but I made 8 loaves at a time so had some strong arms to handle my sons and those dang cows when they got out. I caught a full grown Golden Eagle one time too that was going after my ducks, but that is another story. I have to go home. I am at work and my puter is in the hosp. with multiple viruses so it will be a day or 2 before I can write from home. Nighty-night.
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legitlinda
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Sandylee,Jan 9 2007
02:55 PM
So how much more would I have made because I did all the required activities plus shagging balls for the Little Leaguers, milking goats, herding cattle, raising and butchering chicken, ducks, geese and hogs, gardening in a 100x 100 ft lot including digging by hand, loading and hauling and digging in two truckloads of steer manure, digging ditches, baking all the bread for a family of 7, making cheese, headcheese, rendering lard, knitting, sewing ... etc, etc, etc. I should be a millionaire by now.

:garfield:

Wow! You're some kind of lady Sandylee! Reminds me of how my grandmother lived in Italy.
I alway say I'm so glad I was born when I was. I can't imagine having to do all that and raise your kids too.

Here's to ya :coffee: :D :D :D
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legitlinda
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countrymouse,Jan 9 2007
02:58 PM
Quote:
 
baking all the bread for a family of 7, making cheese


sandylee,

i hear ya! recipes and cheesemaking directions please!

Countrymouse, the only kind of cheese I've ever made is ricotta cheese, and it's so easy.

1 gallon of milk
1qt. buttermilk

Bring to 170 degrees

The curds should have formed by the time it reaches that temp. I scoop them out with a strainer ladle into either cheese cloth or little cheese baskets and let them drain over night.

I save a little of the whey in case it gets dryer than I like and mix it up with a hand mixer to get a smoother consistency if I'm making canoli's with it.

Once you make your own and see how good it is, it's hard to bring yourself to buy it at the store anymore. :b-b: I just love that little bird! :D
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Sibs
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Herb,Jan 9 2007
05:21 PM
Toothless Dawg,Jan 9 2007
05:07 PM
Quote:
 
Having my daughter living in that cow pasture on the edge of Manotick, Ontario sure kept her safe though. PS, she resents that too!


:lol: :lol: :lol: The thankless part is what makes parents a parent. Your descriptions sounds so durn familiar with my own child rearing experiences. There does come a time in the childs life however, where they realize exactly what was sacrificed and that you were NOT the dumbest person on the face of the earth .... certainly dumber than everybody elses parents :lol: :lol: :lol: That was my satisfaction, when I heard that from the kids!!!

The greatest compliment from our son was when he was disiplining hs oldest daughter and he turned to us and said "She's 3 years old and I'm already starting to sound like you guys".
I know that we all make mistakes in the parenting job. We do the best we can and hope our off spring is smart enough to figure out the mistakes.

A couple of years ago my oldest, 23 at the time, said to me "ya know your're not the worst Mom in the world" I'm pretty sure it was a compliment? :blink
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Ali
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I became a stay at home mom when we decided to start a family....well, nine months later (I worked until my due date). We never lived 'high on the hog', but boy it sure was difficult switchin' hats! No more getting dressed up for work or going out to lunch with the girls. No more haircuts or manicures - just lots of tuna noodle cassarole, hot dogs and mac and cheese! I've got no regrets at all for giving up a career to raise our kids. They turned out pretty good! I thank God everyday to have been fortunate enough to know my kids.
There's also a bonus to it all! When the kids go off to Kindergarten, you learn how to landscape and mow, seal the driveway, clean the rain gutters, fix the leaks under the kitchen sink .....become a jack of all trades .....the master of none!
Twenty years sounds like a long time, but when you've got kids to raise, it passes in the blink of an eye.
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Toothless Dawg
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Right On Ali ... !!!
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Sibs
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Ali,Jan 10 2007
09:41 PM
I became a stay at home mom when we decided to start a family....well, nine months later (I worked until my due date).

I worked overtime the day before my first one was born :o
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legitlinda
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I couldn't bare the thought of leaving my kids with a babysitter, so I stayed home. I always figured we could sacrifice having things, not sacrifice the kids.
When I was a kid I had one friend who's mother had to work because she was a widow and the mother of six kids. I remember feeling so sorry for her, knowing that when she got home her mother wasn't going to be there.
I think it's a different story today because of the crazy cost of living. At least out here in California anyway. The average rent on a two bedroom apt., or duplex is $1200.00 a month. I really feel sorry for the kids of today whose parents both have to work just to get by.
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Ali
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Sibs, you were brave!! But thinking back, isn't it the best thing you could have done? They hooked me up to Potosun, and I never had a chance to walk it off! I learned my lesson with our second baby - she was born in no time, once we got to the hospital! They had a young team of interns standing in the delivery room and asked me if they could watch! I can't remember what I said, but they took it as a 'yes'!!
The whole world seems to disappear when you have a child! Even now, when my children are hurt or troubled by life - everything else seems to go nil.
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CorsicanRedneck
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countrymouse,Jan 8 2007
09:46 PM
Some of the jobs that stay-at-home moms do: Day-care center teacher, driver, housekeeper, cook, nurse, personal shopper, nutritionist, therapist, personal assistant and general maintenance worker.

I always respected the hard work that SAH moms do for the entire family. And it's a lot of work. But following the same stupid report, which I personally think is just an excuse to jump-start the gender war, should a husband charge his wife for:

Car mechanic, plumber, carpenter, PE teacher, construction worker, massage therapist, electronics repairman, home security officer, etc...

Now, isn't all this totally ridiculous? <_< :)
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Sibs
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CorsicanRedneck,Jan 12 2007
01:52 AM
countrymouse,Jan 8 2007
09:46 PM
Some of the jobs that stay-at-home moms do:  Day-care center teacher, driver, housekeeper, cook, nurse, personal shopper, nutritionist, therapist, personal assistant and general maintenance worker.

I always respected the hard work that SAH moms do for the entire family. And it's a lot of work. But following the same stupid report, which I personally think is just an excuse to jump-start the gender war, should a husband charge his wife for:

Car mechanic, plumber, carpenter, PE teacher, construction worker, massage therapist, electronics repairman, home security officer, etc...

Now, isn't all this totally ridiculous? <_< :)

Yes it is ridiculous, especially when you consider that not all people are good at the traditional gender roles. My husband is a great cook and fixes dinner quite a bit. He does dishes more than I do. I'm better at fixing things. I'm the one who installed the new cooktop in the kitchen, junction box and all, as well as the one who used to fix the wiring on the old oven til we got a new one which we installed together. He's the one who was/is home when the kids get home from school. I was the one who coached little league and camped with the Boy Scouts. When you end up working opposite shifts both of you do both gender jobs.(gender jobs or roles is a silly statement anyway) I will say I am the only one in our house who knows how to clean the bathroom!! I always say his job is to make me laugh and keep me smiling in other ways. :D
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CorsicanRedneck
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Good point, Sibs. It seems that a lot of people in the media like to maintain the gender war thing alive. A couple is a team, not competitors. Machos and feminists are both ridiculous and I suspect that it has more to do with selfishness and egocentrism than anything else.

On the other hand, I'm old fashion and enjoy traditions and values. But there is nothing incompatible about being old fashion and loving and respecting each other, like a lot of "new-age" folks seem to think, even though they are the ones with screwed up relationships or families. My :two-cents:
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bsb006
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I, too, am good with fixing things....except I don't know anything about electrical stuff. I got an A in Wood Shop, Power Tech and Mechanical drawing when I was a youngun. Those were the only classes they offered or I would've taken more. On the other hand, I love to cook and clean (not fond of doing laundry or dishes though) and sew, too. I would've loved being a mother - but it was not in God's plan, so I just borrow my friend's kids. :D
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Sibs
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bsb006,Jan 12 2007
01:00 PM
I, too, am good with fixing things....except I don't know anything about electrical stuff. I got an A in Wood Shop, Power Tech and Mechanical drawing when I was a youngun. Those were the only classes they offered or I would've taken more. On the other hand, I love to cook and clean (not fond of doing laundry or dishes though) and sew, too. I would've loved being a mother - but it was not in God's plan, so I just borrow my friend's kids. :D

I think when you just borrow friends kids it means you just jumped to the Grandparent stage. Have fun, spoil em rotten and then give them back. Not a bad plan! :D
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bsb006
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Sibs,Jan 13 2007
10:31 AM
bsb006,Jan 12 2007
01:00 PM
I, too, am good with fixing things....except I don't know anything about electrical stuff.  I got an A in Wood Shop, Power Tech and Mechanical drawing when I was a youngun.  Those were the only classes they offered or I would've taken more.  On the other hand, I love to cook and clean (not fond of doing laundry or dishes though) and sew, too.  I would've loved being a mother - but it was not in God's plan, so I just borrow my friend's kids.  :D

I think when you just borrow friends kids it means you just jumped to the Grandparent stage. Have fun, spoil em rotten and then give them back. Not a bad plan! :D

:lol2: I prefer to think of myself as the 'fun auntie'!!!
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