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Stupid People Should Have To Wear Signs That Just; "I'm Stupid"
Topic Started: Aug 25 2006, 06:53 PM (451 Views)
Almtnman
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Stupid People - Here's Your Sign

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid"

That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You
wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse
me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign." ...

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was
full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our
driveway. My friend comes over and says, "Hey, you
moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's
your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy
of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up
this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the
dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope -
Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the
Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark
bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"all right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good...They want you to jump into this pool of sharks,
and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't
wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into
one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The
attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I
couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around
and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A
guy came over to the house and drove the car around
for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he
gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the
exhaust pipe, then goes, "Darn that's hot!" See?
If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of
adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of
a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it
out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report.
He went through his basic questioning. No problem. I
thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...
until he says "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't
help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig,
then back to him and said, "No I'm delivering a bridge
...Here's your sign!".


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Duke
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Duke
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Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into
one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The
attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I
couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around
and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here's your sign."


smiley-funny-post-sign That's the one I liked best.
I'm trying to make up one;

Fella looks and sees a shot dear tied on to the hood and says; "You shoot that one?;
Nooo, He just grabbed my gun and was just tired of dealing with life, I hated to leave him there, so I fig'er I'll eat him, so his life will have had meaning".
Heeeere's your sign :lol2:

Husband sees his wife acting a bit flustered and says;
" Hoooney is it that time agaiiin?
She says; Oooh Noooo, I was just acting all bloated and short tempered to see if you would ask me that stupid question agaiiin, like you have for the last 22 yeeears !!!"
That guy would be wearing his sign like a necklace or looking like a square doughnut with his head stuck throoough his sign!

Guy sees two men fighting and saaays;
" You guys ain't fight'n are you ?" One says; Nooo, we just practicing for our upcoming parts in a Chuck Norris movie!" :ph43r:
Heeere's your sign written in black to match your two new shiners !!

I thunk I did perty good.
Duke




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Duke
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Neighbor walking by sees the guy taking off the lug nuts on a tire and says;

" You gone change that yourself?
Nooo, I'm just taking off the lug nuts to make the mechanics job easier when I drive the car to the shop".
Heeere's yer sign.

Same scenario as above;
"You gone change that yourself?
Nooo, I just loosen'em up, my wife will do the rest"
Siiign!

Husband says to the wife when she puts something into the buggy;
" You gone buy that?
Nooo, I was just checking to see if you were paying attention"
Here's your sign.

Neighbor sees you getting into the car;
" Goooing sooome wheeere?
Nooo, I juuust figered I'd swing the door back and forth and cool it off".
Sign!

Neighbor sees you unloading the groceries;
" Grooocery shooopping?
Nooo, it's road kiiill, this country is so modern that road kill is packaged and bagged when you see it these days".
Sign.

I'm straining, but I think I squeezed out a couple fairly good ones,

Duke


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Duke
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Duke
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It's Sunday so let me try one in honor of it.

Neighbor sees ya'll getting into the car dressed for church;
" Chuuurch?
Nooo, we just gone ride around in case somebody died, so we can get a free meal at a wake, the Bibles will come in handy in case they don't know us".

Heeere's his sign :lol2:

God bless ya'll and have a very blessed Sunday,

Duke
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Almtnman
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Duke, those were real funny. You must have a lot of time thinking up some of those. I'll have to see if I can add some later.

Oh yeah, once when I rode a motorcycle, I dressed with plenty of insulated underwear and it showed by making my clothes sort of bulky. One of my friends asked me, "are you cold?"

I said no, "not at all."

Here's your sign.
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Duke
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HERE'S YOUR SIGN.

Fella tells a guy he's get'n married.
Guy says;
"You in love?
Noooo, I just wanted to see what kind'ah bachelor party my friends would throw me".

Same scenario;
"You in love?
Nooo, just wanted to play a joke on her family".

Same;
"You in love?
Nooo, just wanted to make my present wife jealous, she'll work real hard try'n to be the best wife".

Good and always punctual husband going to the ball game.
Wife says;
"When you coming home?
When the seasons over".

Fella with a grimmice on his face with his hands rubbing his head.
A guy says;
" Migraine?
Nooo, whole grain".

Same;
" Headache?
Nooo, just exercising my face and head muscles".

Wife sees you hobbling around.
" Foot sore?
Nooo, just remembering grandpaw McCoy".

Telling someone in detail about a good movie you saw.
Other guy overhears and says;
" Ju see that movie?
Nooo, just re-telling what I heard somebody say".

Same.
" Ju see that movie?
Nooo, just heard the name and I figered I'd make up the details as I talk".

Guy walks by and sees you reading your Bible in the park;
" Christian?
Nooo, cult member". ( I would never give that answer of course).

New guy sees you read'n your Bible on lunch break;
" Christian?
Nooo, the big boss is though, better bring you a Bible tomorrow unless you just wanted a very temporary job". ( I would say that either).

Same;
"You go to church?
Nooo, figered if I studied up so I wouldn't have to".( some people may actually think that).

A question by someone on another web site and answer:
Sunshine says;" Why is there so many denomenations"?
San Antonio Hawk says; "Makes it easier to make change in the collection plate".

I'll hesh up on that one, :blink:
Duke



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Almtnman
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That's some good ones Duke. As you can see I have found out how to change the font colors now. I even added a pinned post with the directions on how anyone can do that.
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Duke
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I was trying to add a post that had word and numbers links/URLs within it, it didn't work, it was a test and if it had worked I was going to post it in its own topic.
.
I got a very good post by Angry American from you know where on the topic of the history of documented terrorists attacks.
It is jam packed with word and dates links, he worked hard to complie that info.

Almtnman, go there if you will and look in current Soapbox "Drowsy" or in Message Board "Donald Rumsfeld, Pres G.W. Bush, etc., war on terror.

Maybe you could figure out how to copy/paste it on here.

In would be a very good general discussion topic here.
It could be called;

"Long history of Documented Terrorist Attacks around the world and in the U.S.A." smiley-patriotic-flag-wave

Thanks,
Duke


I knew you would figure out how to do the font color change.
I also saw where you gave the instructions for doing it in "pinned topics"

Thanks,
Duke
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Almtnman
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I'll see if I can get it posted here.
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Duke
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Thanks,

I think I'll ask him to join us here.

I got him to send me some instructions on making URLs into word and dates links.

He did, and I'll be practicing soon to see how I do with it.

He does a really good job of it and he is a true patriot, so his posts are always informative and good reads.

God bless America, smiley-patriotic-flag-wave
Duke
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Almtnman
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Duke, I'm trying to figure that avatar of yours out? smiley-outta-here
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Culture Warrior
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From a BDS protest rally in NYC:

Posted Image

Brings a whole new meaning to "Stuck on Stupid" :thatfunny:


AND


The Other Side Has Something to Say About All This, Too!

Posted Image



Notice that these folks don't have anything "STUCK" to them. smiley-patriotic-flag-wave
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Toothless Dawg
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beernut,Sep 6 2006
09:38 PM
From a BDS protest rally in NYC:

Posted Image

Brings a whole new meaning to "Stuck on Stupid"

Howdy Beernut,

The pic gives a good case for abortion ... Howard Dean gives another

Jim
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Duke
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Almtnman,Sep 2 2006
05:18 PM
Duke, I'm trying to figure that avatar of yours out?   smiley-outta-here

Hello Almtnman,

The present avatar on this date is a picture with a fully clothed guy with his head up his rear end and it represents the thought process of the liberal mind.
( word description done for when it is removed and folks would wonder what was being talked about).

It is kind of spooky/strange looking :nooooooo:

The pic. that represents their dark hearts would probably be very ugly for sure.

I can get rid of it if you want me too, I have a lot of good things to use as avatars.

Thanks,

Duke



Hello beernut,

See if you can edit this pic. into your pic. of the nuts with the stickers all over themselves, this is a pic. of a protest against their protest.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/imagesofperfection/59143081/


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Almtnman
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It's OK with me Duke, just didn't know what I was looking at. I can see now that it appears to be a Dem after you explained it.

What kind of program are you using to make avatars?
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Duke
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I'm getting them from my pictures on my PC.

I have a lot of stuff that I think I could use.

I'll be changing my avatar ever so often, I had fun playing with them on here the other day.

The avatar I have on there now would be a good award for folks that are just stuck on stupid liberalism. They don't let reality get in their way.

Thanks,

Duke
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Duke
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I was trying to insert a pic., it failed, no big deal, I'll try again someday.
Duke
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Culture Warrior
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Okay Duke,

Fixed 'r up for ya!

smiley-git-r-done
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Duke
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beernut,Sep 7 2006
06:31 PM
Okay Duke,

Fixed 'r up for ya!

smiley-git-r-done

beernut,

I went back to page one and the pics. just seem to fit in with your theme there.

Thanks,

Duke



Almtnman,

You got some more emoticons, I noticed.

You've put a whole lot of work into your web site, good job.

We all thank you for it too,

Duke
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