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Jace Herse; Demon of the Night
Topic Started: Oct 23 2009, 08:12 PM (129 Views)
Kael
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About Me
Your name or nickname: Kael
Your age: 16
Experience in roleplay:I have been roleplaying for about 2 or 3 years.
Preferred Genres: Fantasy! Any kind of Fantasy!

My Character
Character type:Demon
Character name:Jace Herse
Age:609 years old, but at this time possesses a 23 year old male body.
Residence:The Circus Grounds

Description: As Jace walks through out the grounds, people see him as a tall, handsome, muscular man. He has short light Auburn hair, a fair tan, and hazel eyes. He smiles with courtesy at the right times, and has manners as if he was raised in a royal home. He walks with grace, and never slouches. Yet, if he is hungry he is very rude, and selfish. Some say he is to perfect.

As you get to know Jace, there are things you begin to take notice of. Jace is what you would call a player, every week he has a new girl. As Jace brings the women to his trailer something changes. His eyes turn pitch black, his teeth become jagged, his muscles begin to bulge even more, and his nails turn into claws. Every weekend there is a plead for mercy coming from Jace’s trailer. Then a high pitch scream and the girls are never to be seen again.
Every few years he changes bodies, disposing of the last!

Personality:Jace is an open but mysterious man. He likes to keep to himself, but he has friends throughout parts of the circus. He is very quite, and has manners. He says what is on his mind when talking to someone.

Sometimes he disappears throughout the night. He sleeps all day in his trailer. He then takes the night shift to set up the circus. Jace doesn’t allow anyone in his trailer no matter what. Rumors are said that on the nights he brings home women the sheets that cover the windows get streaks of red and that blood seeps under the door onto the fresh grass.
Jace to most people is a very intelligent but awkward man of all things. To bad for those women!

Other information:His true demon form comes out only every new moon when it is darkest at night.

Intro:
On a late gloomy night a circus seeped its way into a town. They settled down just off the main road, almost directly in between Cherry Fields and the so called Slums. Jace a gloomy mysterious fellow jumped out of his trailer landing with lush grass around his boots. He glanced up as the circus men started to unload the tents.

He walked down to one of the campfires and sat down on an old log. He cupped his hands together and blew into them. Everybody around looked at him. He then looked up.
“What are you staring at? It better not be me!” he said in a low harsh voice. They all then began to chat amongst each other.

A man on the other side of the fire stood up and began
to walk towards him. Jace then also stood up. As the man
approached him Jace turned his back and walked a way. The
man he turned on seemed to be of a middle age. The man
leaped over the log and briskly walked to Jace. He man laid
his hands on Jace’s shoulder. Jace turned his head a said
in an angry whisper, “Take your hand off of me right now!”
The man took his hand off of Jace.

Jace walked even quicker to his trailer. He stepped onto the first step then
closed the door behind him. The man walked back to the
campfire and sat down. Next the man said, “I say, That Jace
boy… there is just something not right with him.” “I’m
right there with ya pops!” said a boy of about 16. A little girl then spoke up. “My daddy said that Jace is an evil monster and that’s why he acts that way. “Well that could explain a lot,” Said the old man.

Jace moved the sheet that covered his front window and
looked at the campfire. “What a bunch idiots!” he said to
himself. He then covered the window again and blew out the
candle. The trailer became pitch black. Almost invisible in
the moonlight.
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Savitar
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We're Sorry---------{x}

We will not be accepting Jace Herse as a new character on Thorny Towers.

I like the character a lot, don't get me wrong. I see a lot of potential in your writing, but there are a lot of mistakes that very easily could have been avoided. I remember discussing with you before about typing things into a text document like Microsoft Word. That would have fixed about 95% of the mistakes you made.

The biggest problem seems to be with missing punctuation. If you'll do me one favor and just run it through a spelling and grammar check, I'll approve it right after I see the changes.

Hopefully that's not a problem because I think Jace could end up being a great character to roleplay with. Especially since he's part of the cirucs.

I hope to see some changes made so that I can approve him.


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Savitar
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{x}----Congratulations!!

Jace Herse has been accepted as new character on Thorny Towers.

As we agreed, you're going to have to work on your grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. Again, I see a lot of potential in your writing so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

If you need some help, I decided to make a workshop board. You can post there and I'll be more than happy to help you out.

Glad to have you on board.


Your character will be listed in the Roll Call, at which time you can create a profile to be linked to. Please feel free to register with your desired username and begin roleplaying.

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