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Females and Warhammer; How do they work?
Topic Started: 16th July 2011 - 11:54 PM (2,852 Views)
CurseoftheHornedSheep
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Chieftain
After being frowned upon by the girlfriend for attending my fourth tournament in three months (school usually means no tournaments during seasons other than summer), I'm wondering: What is the Under-Empire's collective experience with women and Warhammer?

My previous girlfriend and the girlfriends/wives of every other Warhammer player I personally have met is disgusted by our hobby. Whenever I try to approach someone of the opposite sex about the game in an open-minded, friendly way, I always get dismissed as a gigantic nerd. Luckily, my current girlfriend is okay with Warhammer, but she barely respects it, and whenever I've asked her about being involved in our group (in a totally non-naggy but still encouraging way), she just gives me a look that makes me shut up immediately. She hates anything to do with numbers (but it doesn't take a tolerance of math to like dice games, does it?) and anything to do with concentrated thinking, but is it really so impossible to make them see what we see? The fluff, the painting, the battles, the thrill of winning a tactical game?

So, my question to you is: What are your experiences with females (especially your significant others) and Warhammer, Fantasy or 40k? Have you had similar stories of being promptly shot down the minute you bring up the hobby, have you had to miss out on tournaments, have you had to stop painting? Do you know any females in your gaming group? Have you ever successfully encouraged a female to gain interest, and if so, how? And if you are female, how do you feel about participating in a male-dominant hobby, and were you skeptical at first too? Why can't (most) women and Warhammer get along?
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Blood Vixen
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All hail the Age of Skaven
The male dominated side can get rather irritating as you are usually expected to go for more female demographic armies. S.O.B. High elves etc. On top of being the butt of a lot of jokes, usually about the butt in my case. But the thing that got me interested was the painting and modeling side of things, I was painting models for nearly 4 years before I ever put them on the battlefield.
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mrtn
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Well, people are different, the biggest reason my particular female (gf) is uninterested is all that tedious painting and artsy stuff, give her plastic tokens and someone to kill and she's usually happy.

@Blood Vixen; isn't skaven one of the most popular armies among females*? We have a number of female members here, and it's the army my gf would play if any. Dark and wood elves seem popular as well.

*Yeah, my sample size is tiny and that sucks, I know.
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ShuNian
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Well, as a girl myself, I never really saw a problem with a lot more guys being into these things. I'm used to fandoms (namely anime and certain video games I love) that have more actively known female fans than male.

All the men I've talked about Warhammer with are all very friendly and gender never seemed to be a huge thing. The most I've seen from girls is that they like to paint, but I haven't gotten the chance to actually meet and talk with actual girl players. The places I've been didn't really have any female players- unless they were just tagging along with their husband/boyfriends, or liked a different game altogether.

But there are a lot of girl players, just depends on where you live I suppose. Like anything, its all about one's taste; Warhammer just happens to have more known guys than girls who are into it.
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Flem
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My girlfriend is actually pretty cool with WH (except for the huge amount of money it costs :P ) , she even loves playing low point size battles from time to time as the 2000 point battles take to long for her liking.

Most girls i've seen thus far ar indeed into modeling rather then the actual playing. Then again men tend to be that little more competative then women don't they. In my gaming area we have no female players but some painters. I even think there isn't one girl participating in the ranking of the netherland (should check the list to be sure).

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Snic Filthclaw
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Shortly after I got together with my girlfriend I discovered warhammer and I was practically sold right off the bat... except for GW's prices.
At the time I was a bit careful with sharing interests in 'nerdy' stuff with her in fear of it being a total turn off for her ( couldn't have been more wrong :P ).
So one day I was browsing eBay for some cheap skaven when suddenly she stood behind me and squealed "ohh they're cute!"
Me:They're not exactly cute... *gives brief explanation of what skaven are*
Her: Ok, so they're less cute. What's this all about anyway?
Me: *carefully explains the hobby, expecting a "aren't you a little too old to play with toy soldiers?" comment*
Her: That sounds kinda fun, actually.
Me: There's also a lizardmen army.
Her: Really!? *big excited eyes* (She's utterly fascinated by lizards)

And she's been in the hobby ever since.

:D
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Rusty Tincanne
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...you can still call me Rusty Tincanne if you want, though.

In the case of my wife, I have found a converse relationship between her dislike of my hobbies and teh space it creates between us. If we are playing a card game or reading together, it is golden. If we are in the same space doing different things, it is okay. If it takes me out of the house and down the road, she loathes it.

She definitely thinks Warhammer is a waste of money and time and would rather see me making another banjo or playing music, but she knows that I like to tinker with things. So the painting and converting is tolerable. Actual games (or worse, campaigns) are a strain. Luckily, I prefer to paint and convert so that does not come up too, too often.

As for playing, my wife's brother (and siter-in-law) were big RPGers and her highschool friends played 40K and D&D, so she is used to being around it. When I got back into the hobby we had been together for ~2 years. She was not thrilled, partly because of the money, partly because of the time not spent together and partly because she is just not into competetive games. (Though she does play Munchkin because it is total chaos and over-the-top competetive - to the point of a characature of competition.)

Basically, Warhammer is a nerdy past time and when folks get involved it usually takes up a large part of their life. Unless your significant other is into the hobby, you need to figure out how to avoid it usurping your personal life ad driving your loved ones away. For me, the Underempire.net is pretty much the primary way in which I stay involved in this hobby at this point, and that seems to work for me and my wife.
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Morkskittar
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The Tunnel's Resident Rodent Ecologist

My girlfriend is fine with it. :P At first she thought it was a little weird, but she accepted it as part of me. Recently, after I switched from Warhammer to Warmachine/Hordes, she actually expressed some interest in the game and asked me to teach her and play some small games with her, because she wanted to do something that I liked to do so much (which was so incredibly cute ^_^). She is currently indifferent to the whole thing. :P

As for females in general being interested, I actually have a large group of female friends who love that kind of stuff, though they tend to the more roleplaying side of things geeky, and just enjoy watching the tabletop games. :P So there are definitely females who play and are interested in it, just not to the same extent as males tend to be. :P

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Skaven Lord Vinshqueek
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Nurglitch VII
19th July 2011 - 06:04 PM
(Though she does play Munchkin because it is total chaos and over-the-top competetive - to the point of a characature of competition.)
Isn't that the point of Munchkin? :P

Still, a very good (female) friend of mine and I got to know one another through a classmate of hers, who was a huge Warhammer fan (and not using the word geek takes a bit of effort there :rolleyes: ). After those ten years since we got to know one another, I am just about the only one of the group she got introduced to who she hangs out with on a regular basis, due to the fact that I didn't had it as the only subject to talk about. So, in my experience, the way you introduce the subject to a woman (who is not into wargaming) also has a good impact on how she views your hobby/ pastime.

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scrivener
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*toot*

Mine is quite fine with it, she just thinks my crouching over a tiny figurine and poking at it with a brush for hours is just one of my borderline OCD habits. She grumbles more often about me hogging the internet at home for UE-surfing, she sometimes remarks that she'd rather enter the room and find me surfing the net for pr0n than to find me on the underempire. And she made fun of me a lot during the UDC when I was working on the map and spreadsheets. She finds your usernames hilarious for some reason, especially Dark Lord Nihilus... :P
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Rusty Tincanne
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...you can still call me Rusty Tincanne if you want, though.

scrivener
20th July 2011 - 12:52 AM
She finds your usernames hilarious for some reason
:lol: My wife had that same reaction when I was doing the dice order. She would say each name with disbelief. Particularly anyone with "Lord," "Warlock," etc.
I resemble that comment! :P - Matik
Edited by Warlock Matik, 20th July 2011 - 01:15 PM.
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Silas
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The Great Bunny. Now with a mop. :)

On the subject on names all my friends give me weird looks when I say something like

"And Stinky is GMing at the moment but he isn't the only one Mork is doing it to and some of the others like Blader drop in and out."

Perfectly normal sentence and with normal names it would be aright but with you guys names... :P
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Snic Filthclaw
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The Gentlerat
Skaven Lord Vinshqueek
19th July 2011 - 09:00 PM
Nurglitch VII
19th July 2011 - 06:04 PM
(Though she does play Munchkin because it is total chaos and over-the-top competetive - to the point of a characature of competition.)
Isn't that the point of Munchkin? :P
Do I spot some more people who play munchkin? :P

I LOVE that game ^^
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Scarfester
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Scaaarrrrghhh

My wife has painted a few goblins, but is mainly ok with me painting etc.
She is used to it, as her brother has been a gamer for ages as well. :)

I remember the first time I met up with Dema, she had told her dad that she was meeting someone called Scarfester from the internet. Apparently he wasn't too keen on her meeting up with me......wonder why? :P
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Cannoness
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Hmmm I think it is largely dependent on where you are, your local GW and the people. My local GW is full of pre-pubescent boys and even the store managers are a little freaked out by a girl going in, knowing what she's looking at and demanding more paints a glue. Oh and the latest White Dwarf please. They just can't seem to get over the, 'oh my gosh she's got lady lumps' business. However it does have it's uses on occasion when they get an order wrong and you get free stuff, and it's also kinda hilarious to get a reaction like that. I'm between the posts as to whether I find it annoying and the reason I've never gone in to play/game/learn or if I find it a little endearing and nice attention.

I'm a female, and collect an army in each Fantasy and 40k games, however am yet to play an actual game of either really.... Much like your girlfriend I have an express distaste in maths and numbers and find holding onto the vast amount of rules and dice and numbers a little confusing, but it's all practice, hey?

I take much more time and joy in painting both my armies, and for now that's okay by me. If my brother ever gets a whole army collected and painted without changing his mind half way through, hopefully we'll get some more games in and I can pick up the rules more.
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