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New Charatcer; Is it a good character
Topic Started: 24th October 2005 - 05:20 AM (637 Views)
Lucious the Grey Seer
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Yeah but that's why they talk of him and try to warn each of the threat of him incase of a Clan Pestilen invasion.
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RandommaN
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Warlord
ok
“O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! And many a word, at random spoken, May soothe or wound a heart that's broken!" - Sir Walter Scott
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Skaven Lord Vinshqueek
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Bunny ear says flop

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Drah'an comes from Skavenblight but decided to join (more he was forced) the forces of Clan Pestien after his experiment on sveral of his brothers (one being the very rat who made him).
To give you some education on what can and can't be done in the Underempire, the clan Pestilence lairs and Skavenblight are like a million miles away from one another. The first is in Lustria and the other lies in Estalia, which isn't exactly like the usual trip you'd make on foot. Secondly, there hasn't been much rats that actually come from one clan and then get "adopted" by the other one. If their clan is overrun, they would usually end up as slaves. Next to that, how can it be that you're brother "made" you. Wouldn't that creature then be your father, instead of your dad? Or is this meant in the sense of, being the person who ensured a steady rise in the ranks of skavenhood? It's a little foggy sentence and it puzzled me very much.
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He used them to test if a venom he got from a weird little creature he found on the ground one day. The great Lord Skrolk found out about this skaven abomination from the Moulders of Hell Pit. He then went to take this pethetic excuse for a rat away to seer what his venom could do.
Venoms as we know it, can be compared with poison, which is usually employed by the assassins of clan Eshin. What comes along out of the jungles of Lustria (and created by those of clan Pestilence) are what we know to be diseases and pestilence. They employ their "products" by throwing this into wells, or simply effect the hundreds of little rats you see scuttling through the warrens. One little rat seems a bit of a coincedence to me.
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Drah'an wtarted out as a simple clanrat but rose through the ranks quickly not because of his strength but because of his love to watch things squirm after they have been infected by some sort of disease. This gave him a huge atvange over all the other rats. He was also favoured by Lord Skrolk and for this he was always placed in the rear ranks.
Strength of arms, does that ring any bells? In every bit of skaven fluff, one rises in the ranks through intrigue and deceit, or by simply bullying of everyone who can't take you on. Loving to watch something squirm, doesn't really give you and advantage over other rats. If something squirms, it isn't dead yet. That gives you two options, which are (i) killing it, or (ii) leaving it to die while you run for your next opponent.

Concluding, I suggest to revise some of the points you've currently written down. It's not bad, it's just that many points aren't exactly making any sense. Though, after having torn apart the whole thing, let me try to give you some pointers in case you wish to improve the whole thing...

Focus your story on one clan and one region
Those "heroes" amongst skaven as we know them, have always risen through the ranks of their own clans. Being born as a runt in the litter of a warlord, a clanrat, or an unfortunate skaven whom has his own clan overrun by another one (a.k.a. a slave) makes much more sense then having someone going from one clan to the other. Life is already horribly short for skaven (estimated ten years at most), so by keeping them on one place, it makes much more sense when he/she grows in the ranks of skaven.

Define before writing what your character is going to be
If I read through all your writing, your character has been a clanrat, an outcast, a traveller (over a WIDE distance of ground), once again a clanrat, a packleader and then an ambassador for clan Pestilence. It has been all of that, without actually being overthrown by some jealous creature, or those above him whom fear for his meteoric rise?

I hope this'll give you something to start with.

Greetz
In the Horned One we trust, all others we monitor.

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Skaven track record [W/D/L] @ 17th of August, 2014: BB 34/19/55; MH 9/2/6; WHF 17/8/30
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RandommaN
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Warlord
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how can it be that you're brother "made" you.

I think he means "forced him to join clan pestilens" which dosn't make much sense, wouldn't they just kill him?
“O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! And many a word, at random spoken, May soothe or wound a heart that's broken!" - Sir Walter Scott
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Lucious the Grey Seer
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You haven't given me enough time to write the rest of my story yet. Anyway after he was evicted from Skavenblight but before he was taken by Lord Skrolk he toke up a place at Hell Pit as a Moulder but instead of creating mounterous things he killed them.
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RandommaN
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Warlord
alright then
“O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! And many a word, at random spoken, May soothe or wound a heart that's broken!" - Sir Walter Scott
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Lucious the Grey Seer
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I stil ,haven't given you the special rules yets.
Loyal and Uncontrolable
Drah'an is so devoted to the great Horned Rat that if he is in a unit if a rat moves in the wrong direction he will slay them where they stand (giving him the second name of the Controler). To represent this when any unit that Drah'an is in flees roll a D6 on a roll of 1-3 Drah'an has lost control of his anger and attacks his unit. Roll a D6 and the number rolled is the number of wounds the unit has sufered from Drah'an (this rule only applies when the Revered Rat Ogre has died and Drah'an is on foot)
Blood Lust
the Revered Rat Ogre has been tought only one thing since he was born KILL. To show thisin any turn that the Revered Rat Ogre does not declare an assault roll a D6 on a 1 Drah'an has lost control of his steed. Roll a D6 and move that Number on inches towards the nearest enemy unit. If no enemy units are in Sight then move him to one of your own units. If he comes into contact with any unit (yours or your opponents) he gains three extra attacks and 1+ strength. The Revered Rat Ogre Returns to normal at the start of the next Skaven turn (his blood lust has vanished only to return once again). :rogre:
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RandommaN
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Warlord
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the Revered Rat Ogre has been tought only one thing since he was born KILL

isn't that what most rat ogres are taught to do since they were born?
“O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! And many a word, at random spoken, May soothe or wound a heart that's broken!" - Sir Walter Scott
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Lucious the Grey Seer
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This RO has benn taught to not only kill but to do it more ferociously than his bretheren. The first battle that The Revered Rat Ogre was in turned out bad for his Packmaster which was eaten by The Revered Rat Ogre. The next battle he was in th Master Mutator travelling with them was in the wrong spot at the wrong time. He had half of his head left but the rest was long gone. (skaven)
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scrivener
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*toot*

You should have a house rule for this fella, "Ravenous Ratogre": before every combat, rule a D6. On a 1, the ratogre takes a bite out of Drah'an. :P

Well, it's fluffeeee......
hannanibal
 
*Angry mob assembles*

"WHAT DO WE WANT!!??"
"A THINNISH, WATERY PAINT WITH A GREENER TINGE THAN AGRAX EARTHSHADE!!"
"WHEN DO WE WANT IT!?"
"QUITE SOON PLEASE AS MY LAST POT IS RUNNING OUT!"
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Lucious the Grey Seer
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the RO nees his own stats though and besides him and Drah'an are two of the GREATIST fighters ever in skaven histroy.
*bsb*
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Mabus
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the RO nees his own stats though and besides him and Drah'an are two of the GREATIST fighters ever in skaven histroy.


Dear god man it's greatest first of all! hehe :D

Secondly, claiming them to be some of the greatest fighters ever is more or less going to win you no fans - Hell, I just joined so I could reply to this! Vinshqueek made some excellent points about his background, and there's no way I could see him bouncing from standard clanrat into Clan Moulder, then into Clan Pestilence. It just wouldn't happen.

Before you think of any rules or abilities or "Uber-l33t-Death-Rat-O-Doom" rules, I think anyone making their own character should come up with a defined background of their character that fits the current fluff. In my gaming group we are far more likely to allow characters of our own creation if they are well written and make sense.

Mabus
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