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the Vinshqueek saga - part 3; The awakening
Topic Started: 22nd April 2005 - 07:41 PM (291 Views)
Skaven Lord Vinshqueek
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Bunny ear says flop

the Vinshqueek saga
The awakening

Read the prequel to this story right here (by clicking this link) to see what happened before Vinshqueek was fighting that dreaded vermin lord!

Onto the story...

...

It was ever-present... Crawling around him, like the death-beetles that stalked the tunnels around his own lair. Waiting, biding their time and striking when their victim was dying of exhaustion or de-hydration. But neither of those two things was happening right now. Vinshqueek was fighting off a deamon of skaven lore, while keeping a close eye on the ever-present dark fog, which loomed around him.

Snapping back to the fight he was fighting, Vinshqueek suddenly lunged back to evade the blow, which otherwise would have severed his head from his torso. Falling on the solid surface beneath him, he rolled to his side to ensure he didn't lay static on the same location for too long. And a right that was... As he crawled upwards, he saw the doom glaive rising upwards again from the spot where he laid just mere seconds ago.

Noticing a sudden gap in the defence of the Verminlord, Vinshqueek faked a move towards the right, before lunging forward from the left. For a moment it looked like he would succeed, only to feel the large fist of the big creature hitting him square in the side and making him fly several yards through the air, before landing far away from the creature. Slowly rising, Vinshqueek cursed his luck, for he really thought he had the deamon this time. Looking towards his opponent, he saw the Verminlord grinning. "Foolish runt-runt thinks he can best-best a vermin lord. Is that right, yes-yes?"

Keeping the distance between himself and the behemoth, Vinshqueek searched for words. On everything he told the deamon, it always had a response. It was like it knew everything he wanted to say to the creature. But then a thought struck his mind, and Vinshqueek threw this game on the offensive approach. "I see-see your ploy... You-you know location of runt-runt Stakkin, yes-yes? Then be rat-rat you say to be, and tell-tell me, for I shall-shall kill him and spray his-his blood in your glory and honour!"
Looking somewhat surprised, the creature appeared to be grinning. Its facial expression betrayed the fact that it suspected the question to come up, but didn't really aknowledged that knowledge to himself. "Yes-yes, indeed I know... Very clever from-from you, little rat. But remember fact-fact that killing Stakkin lackey brought-brought you here. If you go-go after Stakkin himself, you-you go on a path far-far more dangerous!"

"I don't care-care", screamed Vinshqueek back, "Stakkin has doublecrossed-crossed me a time too-too many. This time he shall-shall pay for his insult!"

"Right-right", said the Verminlord while his grin only grew bigger and bigger. "Then it shall-shall be so. I shall bring-bring you to Stakkin and you shall reap-reap him in my honour. But to do-do so, you must take items from-from surroundings. Mighty artefacts that-that give you power to slay-slay a seer!"

"But to do so-so, you must go back-back to realm of life-life", and with a fluid grace and speed unmatched by anything Vinshqueek had ever seen, the doom glaive was suddenly going in a downward arc towards the spot where he was standing. Just at the moment Vinshqueek tried to raise his defence, time seemed to slow down towards a crawl. The doom glaive came ever closer to his body and it seemed the Overlord would be too late to stop the fatal blow from the deamon in front of him. Just as the doom glaive touched his shoulder, an unimaginable pain flared through his body. On its course from the shoulder towards his thigh, Vinshqueek could do nothing else then simply look the cursed blade of the vermin lord, making an almost perfect carve through his torso. His body was just paralyzed and he wasn't in any state to respond at all, except for just looking astonished of what just happened to him. When the tip of the doom glaive released its grip from his body, time suddenly spat back towards its original motion and Vinshqueek felt himself kneeling. Trying to make himself as small as a little ball of fur, ensuring the pain would no longer be going to take such long paths through his body.

Just when a spasm hit his body, Vinshqueek rolled from a raised plateau, making him fall on the floor of his cavern. He clutched his chest, only to notice no wound being there. Wet with his own sweat he opened his eyes and looked down towards his chest. There was no blood, no scar tissue, no nothing. But even while the wound wasn't there, the pain was oh so real. Slowly, with one hand on his chest and the other to grasp something to get up with, he crawled to his feet.

While Vinshqueek noticed, from the corner of his eyes, that his aides and lackeys were running in to look for him, that creepy voice kept booming through his head. Over and over again. "Find the blade, and start your path... For when you do, you will achieve a power unmatched to anything else in the Skaven UnderEmpire!"

...

For some reasons, in the end I wasn't really pleased with the result of the story. I don't really feel the moments of combat are expressed in the right way as it should be. If anyone has any tips on how to improve this part of my writing, please give them... I am always seeking for new stuff to learn and this is something that is itching for a loooong time now.

Furthermore, as usual, any comments and/or praise are highly appreciated!

Greetz
In the Horned One we trust, all others we monitor.

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Skaven track record [W/D/L] @ 17th of August, 2014: BB 34/19/55; MH 9/2/6; WHF 17/8/30
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Thrask Vilepaw
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The Grim Squeaker

i think its great vinz, as a warlord would have no chance at all against a deamon lord it just shows that Vinz is an amazing fighter being able to spar with one for even a second.
Official master of parades by Rattsu
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Vinshqueek
 
Thrask, for being such a nice squiggly thing!
Giantrat
 
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

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24 hour painting challenge : 30 clanrats in 10.5 hours SUCCESS
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