Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Warhammer Jokes!!
Topic Started: 21st June 2004 - 02:59 PM (2,294 Views)
Deathmaster Mik
Member Avatar
Claw of the Shadow

ROFL LMAO LOL!

What REALLY killed me, was YOU explaining it! TOO funny! Keep em comming!

I wonder what you can come up with if you think for only 30 secs.. priceless I bet! *thumbs up*
As for -not breaking the chain- (I know its already broken, but heck.. I won't be the one held responsible!) here's my 'pun' (2 minutes of thinking too!):

It's marked.. It screams for blood.. and if you have four of them.. you have a square.
What is it?


A Khorner (gratz on finding the answer.. don't tell anyone!)
Posted Image
Death lurks in my cloak.................. Death dances in my footsteps;................. I am become Death. ................. Amen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sammy the Squid
Member Avatar
Back to retirement!

I dunno... what is it?
"If the squidman can't do it, no one can!!"

Wins/Losses/Draws

Skaven Clan Rattenkrieg - 108/58/20
Dark Elves - 44/14/8
Hochland Empire - 33/14/4
Malkavian Vampires - 23/22/4
Beastmen - 50/25/2

Have not completed a Painting Vow since July 07!!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Deathmaster Mik
Member Avatar
Claw of the Shadow

Sammy the Squid
Jun 23 2004, 12:05 PM
I dunno... what is it?

I'm a Deathmaster.. It's hidden offcourse!.. LOOK MORE CLOSELY.. and you WILL find the answer!

Good huntings! *squish squish*
Posted Image
Death lurks in my cloak.................. Death dances in my footsteps;................. I am become Death. ................. Amen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
we have broken the chain 2wice now <_< ^Warpfire^ Well done sammy the squid. <_< <_< (skaven) (skaven) (skaven)



what do you call a dwarf crossed with an Orc?


A dork!!!
Posted Image
yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sammy the Squid
Member Avatar
Back to retirement!

Yes well, I posted like a thousand jokes on the previous page that should make up for it! (and this)
"If the squidman can't do it, no one can!!"

Wins/Losses/Draws

Skaven Clan Rattenkrieg - 108/58/20
Dark Elves - 44/14/8
Hochland Empire - 33/14/4
Malkavian Vampires - 23/22/4
Beastmen - 50/25/2

Have not completed a Painting Vow since July 07!!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
whiteclone
Member Avatar
Clan Kynix Warmonger
Deathmaster, I'm totally lost on that one. I'd have to say that it's a... Fellblade? You can put those in squares.

Now I have to make another one.

Hmmm....

AHA! 10 seconds!

Why couldn't the plauge monk watch the movie without interuptions?

It was censered!



Wow, that actually wasn't that bad! Maybe I am a comedian!
Posted Image

I'll Get You Next Time!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Verminous Fang
Member Avatar


@Deathmaster: I got it! :D I don't know whether to laugh or groan... That was as bad as mine. :D

Hmmm... Maybe some last words? Or a eulagy?

Here lies Engineer K'skreet
Liked to burn with warpfire
The nozzle got clogged
And now we can't find his feet.

Here lies chieftain Krititchk
A trusting soul for a rat
Turned his back on his clansmen
Say hello to chieftain Zzdap

Here lies stre'kertch
Operated the Rattling Gun
Missfire spun him round
Got a shot through Warlord Skrash's armor
Now he's 2 feet shorter.

That's why I'm not a comedy writer. :D
Go forth my brethren, that we shall nibble at the roots of the old world!

We are the rats in the shadows. We hold the blades of corruption, aimed at the very heart of the Old World. We are The Council of Thirteen.

Second place in the UnderEmpire painting competition!

Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Deathmaster Mik
Member Avatar
Claw of the Shadow

Verminous Fang
Jun 24 2004, 10:28 AM
@Deathmaster:  I got it!  :D  I don't know whether to laugh or groan...  That was as bad as mine.  :D


AHA!.. we have a winner!!! Nice one Fang! *clap clap* :lol:

Quote:
 
That's why I'm not a comedy writer.   :D
ROFL.. thank the heavens for that ;)

whiteclone
 
Deathmaster, I'm totally lost on that one. I'd have to say that it's a... Fellblade? You can put those in squares.
LOL.. I never immagined it was that hard (and THIS funny! :P)..oh and *buzzerrr* Fellblade is wrong!

The answer is RIGHT where you expect it to be!.. you just have to look harder! (I'm not going to give more hints.. if Verminous Fang can find it.. you all should *ducks Fangs wild punch*)

hrmm.. now I have to come up with a new one.. gimme a min...
aha.. got one:

It's magic.. It's a Plague Priests wet dream.. It's a written sexually transmittable disease.
What is it?


Luber Bonericus (again.. don't tell anyone!)
Posted Image
Death lurks in my cloak.................. Death dances in my footsteps;................. I am become Death. ................. Amen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
OMG.....



deathmaster those were the worst jokes ever.
yes I did find them even without all the obvious clues.

you should be locked away for telling crap jokes ;)
Posted Image
yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Deathmaster Mik
Member Avatar
Claw of the Shadow

Plaguemaster Skab
Jun 24 2004, 04:05 PM
OMG.....



deathmaster those were the worst jokes ever.
yes I did find them even without all the obvious clues.

you should be locked away for telling crap jokes ;)

YAAAY! Da plaguemaster takes second place! *clap clap*

And about my jokes; what do you expect.. a master assasin makes up jokes in 30 secs. That has to be SO bad.. it's almost good!

Oh.. and Skab.. you BROKE YOUR OWN CHAIN, RAT!
Posted Image
Death lurks in my cloak.................. Death dances in my footsteps;................. I am become Death. ................. Amen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
ooopps.So Id did



I'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dum

I'm so dum
I'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dumI'm so dum
I'm so dum
Posted Image
yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Argan
*Rat of Brass Squeek*
this isnt really a joke but to hell with it
its more of a list of things to do when in a list.

1. pretend your posessed by something, 'i must find a new host' is a good thing to say
2. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
3.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the
elevator.
4.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
5.stare constantly at te other passengers with your eyes wide open start saying 'its coming .....'
6.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's
okay, don't panic, they open again!"
7.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
8.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.
9.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10.Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

things to do at a drive thru;
1.Belch your order.
2.Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.
3.Walk through.
4.Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you.
5.Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please".
6.In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food.

ill add more later,
not all of these were made up by me but ive done all of them
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Cossack
Stormvermin
Deathmaster I got the wet dream one. That wasn't too bad. But pm me the first one. I don't get i :'( Joke......

Why did the moulder guy his wife a new Warp lightening cannon?

Cause he was Whipped!

Wow... that was sad.... please don't hurt me
Stalin's communist thinking= My country has $10... If I kill everyone, I will have $10!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Deathmaster Mik
Member Avatar
Claw of the Shadow

Cossack
Jun 30 2004, 08:39 PM
Deathmaster I got the wet dream one. That wasn't too bad. But pm me the first one. I don't get it :'(   Joke......

Why did the moulder guy his wife a new Warp lightening cannon?

Cause he was Whipped!

Wow... that was sad.... please don't hurt me

hehe.. quite funny!

*sigh*.. I give up.. I give in! <_<

Maybe if I turn the text white instead of black.. you all might find it, but I guess some of you will still have trouble with it ;)

myself
 
It's marked.. It screams for blood.. and if you have four of them.. you have a square.
What is it?



A Khorner (gratz on finding the answer.. don't tell anyone!)







It's magic.. It's a Plague Priests wet dream.. It's a written sexually transmittable disease. What is it?


Luber Bonericus (again.. don't tell anyone!)
Posted Image
Death lurks in my cloak.................. Death dances in my footsteps;................. I am become Death. ................. Amen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Cypher19
Mad Hatter
An ork can't hit the broad side of a barn...

...when it's inside the barn!
U.S. taxpayer cost of the Iraq War: $250,279,000,000
Thats about $150,000 a minute, ten million dollars every hour, and 250 million dollars a day!
http://nationalpriorities.org/index.php?op...pper&Itemid=182

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
~Albert Einstein

W/L/D
Skaven: 57/16/7
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Join the millions that use us for their forum communities. Create your own forum today.
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · General Wargaming Discussion · Next Topic »
Add Reply