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Warhammer Jokes!!
Topic Started: 21st June 2004 - 02:59 PM (2,289 Views)
Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
The idea to this thread is that with every post There has to be a Joke or the chain-chain is broken





A man-thing,a elf-thing and a dwarf-thing all walk into a bar and order beers.when the beers come a fly lands in each Drink-drink.
The elf-thing pushes his beer away in disgust
The Human takes the fly out and carries on drinking.
The Dwarf-thing grabs the fly by the wingd,holds it above his Drink and Screams,
"Spit it all out ya little bastard"





Carry on the Chain

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yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
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BorzagLegtwista
Clanrat
Whats the different beetween a Dark elf and a trampaline

Youtake your shoes off when you jump on a trampaline.

carry on the chain.
Skaven are #1 horde tieing with orcs and gobbos
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
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FatherSquee
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Holder of Clan Pestilens "Most Sexiest" Award

How did the dead Halfling Cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken! :D
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Cossack
Stormvermin
Why was the dark elf late for school?

He was too busy doing his mother!

In all fairness Morathi is a Milf!
Stalin's communist thinking= My country has $10... If I kill everyone, I will have $10!
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Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
what is a milf?






whay did the wood elf fall out of the tree?

cos he was dead?



whay did the waywatcher fall out of the tree?

he was stuck to him by a crossbow bolt

why did the tree fall over?

he thought it was a game
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yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
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Verminous Fang
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How many skaven slaves does it take to refill a warpfire thrower?

20. 2 to fill up, the rest for target practice. I mean, why not? They're cheap.

OK, that was lame. I'll try again later.
Go forth my brethren, that we shall nibble at the roots of the old world!

We are the rats in the shadows. We hold the blades of corruption, aimed at the very heart of the Old World. We are The Council of Thirteen.

Second place in the UnderEmpire painting competition!

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Skaven Lord Vinshqueek
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Bunny ear says flop

Why isn't Clan Moulder the biggest clan?

Since most of the Moulder-bobo's are in discussion with their second heads...



Lame, I know... I'll try again later.

Greetz
In the Horned One we trust, all others we monitor.

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Skaven track record [W/D/L] @ 17th of August, 2014: BB 34/19/55; MH 9/2/6; WHF 17/8/30
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Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
Oh...My......God

the last 2 win Worst joke ever titles





How do you confuse a dark Elf?


Whisper the word tactics





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yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
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Dark Angel
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Evil Space Wolf
Why dont you ever give a Clan skyre member a bomb...

Human Soilder: Did you hear that noise?

Lame....

WOOT LAME IM LAME HURRAY!

...ill try to make a better one...
I was one of the first! I ruled apon my clan! Than they turned on me like cowards! I walk the planet searching for awnswers to this curse! I will rule once again! Squeek-squeek! Death to all those who oppose me!
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Shiva
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Long Lost Warhammer Player
I acudentally ran into this one at camp (it's not a warhammer joke, sorry)

Gandi dies and goes to hell. The devil comes over and says, "Do you want to stay here?"

"No"

ok, ok time for a real joke-

What did the mathmatican do to ease his constipation?

Worked it out with a pencil! :huh:
I love getting Personal Messages... Send one today!

Tell me to get my local league started.

"See the world as it is. If you put on pink glasses, your eyes will tell you the world is rosy- which it is not." Shiva
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Cossack
Stormvermin
..... Does any 1 have that web site where they totally make fun of dark elves. Talks about steely sword masters and stuff? so funny.
Stalin's communist thinking= My country has $10... If I kill everyone, I will have $10!
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Plaguemaster Skab
plaguemaster and official bearer of liber bubonicus
Shiva
Jun 22 2004, 01:29 PM
I acudentally ran into this one at camp (it's not a warhammer joke, sorry)

Gandi dies and goes to hell. The devil comes over and says, "Do you want to stay here?"

"No"

ok, ok time for a real joke-

What did the mathmatican do to ease his constipation?

Worked it out with a pencil! :huh:

Heard the maths teacher one before.Dun't get the ghandi one though
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yep,I'm the one with the crown :P
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Sammy the Squid
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Back to retirement!

You want Lame??? Ill give you lame! Check these out!

Why does GW not come out with a Chaos Orc army?
Because noone would collect Kans of Khorne!!!

Whatta ya call a berzerker standing in front of a Guard platoon?
- Pop-Khorne.

Whatta ya call a berzerker standing in front of a Fire Dragon squad?
- Microwave Pop-Khorne.

Whatta ya call a berzerker standing in front of a Tau Crisis team?
- Jiffi-Pop.

Whatta ya call a berzerker standing in front of a Keeper of Secrets?
- Hot buttered Pop-Khorne.

Whatta ya call a berzerker stading in front of a Tyranid swarm?
- Khorne-d Beef.

What is a grot to an orc?

A bullet prof vest!

What is an ard boy?

A space marine wannabe!

What are orc kommandos?

Extinct!

What do their BS mean to orks?

That they canīt hit a barndoor!

What does Waaagh mean in orkish?

It means; hear we are, shoot us!

What is the only object capable of putting fear into the Thousand sons?

The Hoover Dustvac.

what is the definition of a hellgun?

a flashlight with duracell batteries!

whats the difference between a boy scout and an imperial gurdsmen? .

the scout has better leadership

"If the squidman can't do it, no one can!!"

Wins/Losses/Draws

Skaven Clan Rattenkrieg - 108/58/20
Dark Elves - 44/14/8
Hochland Empire - 33/14/4
Malkavian Vampires - 23/22/4
Beastmen - 50/25/2

Have not completed a Painting Vow since July 07!!
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whiteclone
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Clan Kynix Warmonger
Hey some of those last ones were actually funny. Let's see if i can make even one

A grey seer a warlord and a chieftain are standing outside talking about their days.

GS: Perfected my spells today.
WL: I can beat that! Killed 14 slaves during training today.
C: I can do even better! I lost my Clanrats trust, my slaves overran a unit of chaos chosen, my rattling guns worked, my rat swarms broke and my plague monks came in sick.
GS/WL: What are you talking about?
C: Well, you guys were doing such a good job lying, I thought I'd give it a try.


GET IT!?! HAHAHA! Okay, so I'm not a comedian. If this joke came out really bad, i'll explain it:

GS: His magic was perfected and didn't blow up in his face.
WL: He was actually able to do something useful.
C: never had CR trust, slaves are only a good wall, rattling guns misfired, rat swarms can't break, plague monks... sick? COME ON!

Anyways, i thought it was good for 2 minutes of thinking.
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I'll Get You Next Time!
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Sammy the Squid
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Back to retirement!

LOL
that was quite ammusing, especially for only 2 mins of thinking!
"If the squidman can't do it, no one can!!"

Wins/Losses/Draws

Skaven Clan Rattenkrieg - 108/58/20
Dark Elves - 44/14/8
Hochland Empire - 33/14/4
Malkavian Vampires - 23/22/4
Beastmen - 50/25/2

Have not completed a Painting Vow since July 07!!
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