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| The Onion Sportsdome Remembers Dale Earnhardt | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 22 2011, 04:38 PM (197 Views) | |
| Orangesmoke20 | Feb 22 2011, 04:38 PM Post #1 |
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Too hot to handle.. too cold to hold... ohhhhhh yeahhhhh!!!
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It's been 10 years since racing lost Dale Earnhardt, a man synonymous with NASCAR's rise to popularity in the 1990s. We look at his life and legacy. 1950: Conceived when a sperm crashed headfirst into the membrane of an ovum 1974: Upon watching his son Ralph Dale, Jr. being born, Earnhardt spits, says, "Good luck, kid," and walks away 1975: After finishing 22nd in his racing debut, Earnhardt announces he plans to get better, first by purchasing a car 1976: Immediately after Janet Guthrie makes sports history by becoming the first woman to run a superspeedway race, Earnhardt spins her out, winning the hearts of NASCAR fans 1980: Wins his first Winston Cup for being the only driver to actually keep track of who won and how everyone finished in each race 1987: Earnhardt suggests everyone start calling him "The Intimidator" 1987: Informs GM Goodwrench they will sponsor his car from now on; Goodwrench company decides they'd better do as he says 1992: Thanks to Earnhardt's tireless efforts, NASCAR fans are finally willing to accept a black car 1994: Seventh Winston Cup championship ties him for most of all time with Richard Petty, the other famous NASCAR driver 1997: Establishes the Dale Earnhardt GM Goodwrench Man In Black #3 The Intimidator Wreck The Tits Off 'Em Foundation, which raises money to fight breast cancer by spinning out Jeff Gordon 1998: Smokes an entire pack of cigarettes and reads four issues of Field & Stream while racing the Coca-Cola 600 1999: Fucks Terry Labonte's wife right in front of him |
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| JetBlack3 | Feb 24 2011, 12:58 AM Post #2 |
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I am the tag team champions
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Good stuff I miss Dale Edited by JetBlack3, Feb 24 2011, 12:58 AM.
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Good stuff
I miss Dale 