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RBR GP of Germany- Preview
It was Noel Coward who penned the song, “Don’t let’s be beastly to the Germans,” but why should we listen to the opinion of some silly old Englishman who pranced around in a silk dressing gown and a cravat speaking in a ludicrous accent.
Actually, the Germans are lovely, even if their food portions are definitely on the giant size. Most German food appears to have been compressed into something that has the density of a cannon ball, although not quite as tasty. “Cuisine Minceur” is not on the menu and if it was, it would probably be called, “kuchen fur der skinnypeoplemitderkleinebelly.” Yes, in German, Language backwards written is, most Time of and Letters capital for Nouns used are.”
Because of the rich food, most Germans only come in two sizes, XL and XXL, but despite this, many of them ride motorbikes on the autobahn (literal translation, bahn of the auto) wearing leathers that are far too tight so they look like Zeppelins on wheels. To show how skilled they are at riding, they often keep one hand on their hip, which makes them look as though they have lost a roll of carpet from under their arm.
While we are in Hockenheim in the height of summer, most sensible German young men are heading for the beaches of southern Europe, wearing vests and those very short denim shorts, desperate to chat up foreign women: they are the ones who have not hennaed their hair in that plum colour that appears to be compulsory in their homeland. German men are famous for their killer chat-up lines such as, “I have a towel on the best part of the beach;” “breakfast is served in 9 hours and 17 minutes;” and of course, “you are hotter than a plate of steaming sauerkraut.”
We know you Germans reading this will not be the Offence taking, because Humour Sense of great have you, as can be seen from these famous German jokes: How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling. A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Which one hits the ground first? Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity!
According to pre-historians, “Heidelberg Man” was one of the earliest examples of Homo Sapiens and he built a very nice city just 15 minutes from the Hockenheim circuit. It is well worth a visit and famous for its University, although rather confusingly, in Germany these institutions are called Gymnasiums, probably because the students enjoy drinking beer at the Parallel Bars. Actually, “Heidelberg Man” can still be found in the area today, usually living a simple life with no electricity or running water, in the campsites around the race track. They have a primitive language and the main form of greeting is repeated chanting of “Schumi, Schumi, Schumi.”
Their GP previews are always comic genius. :lmao:
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