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Esmeralda: July 23rd, 2012; Llianna!
Topic Started: Oct 23 2012, 03:02 AM (365 Views)
Llian Eppes
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Though at first the idea that he--he--was pregnant had come as a severe shock, Llian had grown used to it during the previous months. He had even liked it, particularly once he was past that terrible first trimester and into the much more fun second trimester. It truly was amazing to go through the whole experience, where he was able to feel their daughter kicking and moving and growing.

Yes, the whole issue with him being a pregnant man had come with some unexpected issues, thank you female hormones. But even those had been bearable up to a certain point. However, once he got closer and closer to the due date, things had been starting to take their toll. His entire center of gravity had been off the entire pregnancy (men's bodies were just not made to accommodate the changes), but it had gotten particularly bad once he reached around 36 weeks. He often found himself quite literally losing his balance and tripping over his own two feet. And everything felt so squished all the time, the expanding uterus that had never gone away after the gender switch having nowhere to really go. His hips had adjusted somewhat, but his body hadn't done so like a woman's would have, or so his Healer kept telling him.

And all of the logistical issues there were nothing compared to the hormonal changes. It was crazy to think that one organ--one that he wasn't supposed to have in the first place--was now just about entirely responsible for producing all of his hormones. The "emotional wreck" part he could deal with, but it had brought about some other, less fun changes. For one, certain things had gotten smaller, and other parts of his body were filling out and rounding out in ways he'd never experienced. He had vowed, after one particularly emotional shopping trip, that he would never again tell a woman he didn't understand what was so hard about shopping for pants.

And sex was, quite literally, impossible. Though there had been a point where his arousal had peaked, he found himself fully unable to maintain (or even get) an erection, and his desires had been for something different anyways, something he couldn't quite put his finger on but seemed to remind him more of the night that got them into this situation than anything else.

But at the end of the day, Llian knew that he would always look back on it as one of the most rewarding experiences of his life and feel lucky that he had the opportunity. First, though, he had to actually have the baby. And if any of the other issues with the pregnancy had been bad, they were nothing compared to the contractions.

When the first one had ripped through his abdomen, he had been completely and totally convinced that he and/or the baby were dying. Just as he had been working himself up into a complete anxiety attack, though, the pain stopped. His stomach, however, (thankfully unglamoured due to Hogwarts not being in session for the summer and Llian taking some strangely explained time off from the Auror department) had remained hard as a rock for a little longer before finally relaxing. Cautiously, Llian had poked at it. The baby had kicked in response, and Llian had been satisfied with that until it happened again, and that was when he'd decided that Juls definitely had to know that one of them may or may not have been dying and they probably needed to get to St. Mungo's right then.

He got the impression that there was some hidden amusement behind Juls' words when she told him that he was probably having contractions and that yes, they did need to go to Mungo's. When he did go, he was told that it wasn't even really labor yet (he still remained somewhat skeptical that what his body was doing was just practice labor), but that he was technically full term so they recommended the c-section that day anyways.

So that was how he found himself in the maternity ward, an IV drip in his arm, while they waited for an operating room to be prepared.

"Juls?" Llian said idly as they waited. "I have to say, I never really 'got it' before this, I don't think. I mean, Merlin, the things women have to go through. And you did it with our son and with triplets. And I just...I want you to know that I think you are amazing," he told her, just entirely in awe of the whole thing.
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Julianna Eppes

It had been an interesting day.

For a while, Juls was feeling like she was pregnant too. For a moment that thought sobered her, but then she'd remembered that they hadn't had sex in months. That was a disappointing reality, but at least they wouldn't be having two newborns at a time. No, what made her feel like she was pregnant too was all the emotions flying around her head. It'd been really stressful for her for the past couple months, between her mother, wedding planning, and dealing with Llian being pregnant. Her mom was seriously the reason she hated herself so much, for so long. Now she had a better concept of self worth - mostly thanks to her fiancee - but it didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. She didn't know she wanted a true set of parents until she met Llian's, at first uncomfortable with how they treated her, and then coming to crave it.

Coming face to face with her mother's condescending hate was not easy after all this time.

It made her angry, it made her tired, depressed, and achy. And then there was the wedding planning, which made her feel anxious and worried. She pretty much was being corralled inch by inch into having her mother's dream wedding instead of anything she and Llian would like whatsoever. That's what was so exhausting; for every inch she gained, her mother was miles ahead.

The pregnancy itself was such a blessing; such a miracle. She loved snuggling with Llian, putting her hands on his stomach to feel their very active daughter moving around. And that, perhaps, was the worst bit of it. She was…jealous. It felt weird to have him be carrying her. It felt weird that he got to have the happy little moments of always being aware of their baby's movements, of her already developing personality. Of her developments, period. It felt weird not to have the large stomach, the pregnancy glow, symptoms, and know that when it came time, she had to trust him to bring their child into the world. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, obviously, but more the instability of the situation. He was a male. Things like that shouldn't happen and somehow they managed to do the impossible.

Even still, all of this was just minor compared to how joyful it was to be able to turn the nursery into a girl's room, and get Taylor a big-boy bed in his own room. It was joyful to have another little newborn in her arms, filling a hole that came with giving those triplets up to her sister. She was so excited to meet their little Esmeralda and only the fact that Llian had to go through labour kept her from bringing it up all the time.

Of course, sooner than she expected Llian was telling her that he was dying - or the baby was - and Juls would have been alarmed if she didn't see him poking his stomach a moment before. It was so typical male of him to assume he was dying when contractions were happening, and Juls almost wished he had to go through the entire birth to understand just what went into it all.

But at the same time, she was much happier that he would just be having a c-section and then life could get back to normal with her in the mother role and him in the father role…with all the father goods.

It didn't take too horribly long for them to get to Mungo's, fill out the paperwork, and be seen. As she suspected (partially), he was only having Braxton Hicks. This amused her even further, since those had been just minor aches compared to the real thing. Luckily she didn't have to work to hide this emotion because the healer was telling them that they would be delivering that day anyways to avoid any problems. The excitement and happiness on her face would hide the giggles that wanted to erupt from her stomach.

She sat on the edge of the bed with Llian getting fluids, easily adjusting into the role of making him as comfortable and secure as possible.

His comment made her smile, lacing her fingers through a free hand before she shrugged. "I kind of feel like it's what I was made for. The end is always painful but I've been through…worse." She slowed down at the end, hesitating for a moment before flipping her smile back on.

"Taylor told me this morning to make sure I bring his baby sister home safe. I love that he's as excited as us; I know a lot of kids get angry at another baby because they feel they aren't loved anymore or aren't getting enough attention. How are you feeling?"

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Llian Eppes
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Llian nodded, reaching out and taking her hand when she sat down next to him. "Exactly. It's what you were made for." There was absolutely no way in hell that he could or would do this again. If they had more children--which Llian absolutely was not opposed to--Juls was definitely going to be the one carrying them.

"Well, I guess I'm lucky I don't even have to get to the end part." He would much rather take surgery, even majorly invasive surgery, than go through the complete process of natural labor. For one thing, he was so not equipped with the right parts. But even if he were, he couldn't imagine...that.

He didn't miss when Juls said that she's been through worse, and he squeezed her hand lightly in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. It seemed more like an observation for her than anything else, but still. "I know you have." He was quiet for a moment. "But at least this has a happy ending."

He glanced up at the IV drip, wondering how long it would be before they came to wheel him into surgery. And that brought other thoughts, like...what was going to happen to this random uterus once he was, well, done with it? Would it just disappear, the effects of the potion finally reversed now that their daughter would be out of the womb? Or would that have to be another surgery entirely? That sounded painful--not something he wanted to think about.

He'd much rather focus on their son's anticipation for his new little sister. "I love that he's excited too," he said with a smile. "I honestly thought there'd be a little more of an adjustment period. But then again, he never had much of a problem with other kids. Who knows? It could be different once we get her home and reality kind of sets in." He didn't really think it would be that different. If anything, their son seemed too eager to help.

When she asked how he was feeling, he shrugged. "Not bad, I guess? I just really want to get through the c-section and meet her."

As if on cue, their healer came in. Healer Castle came in to announce that they were ready for him. They took him and Juls into another room after giving him a potion that almost instantly numbed him. Then the screens went up, and he couldn't see anything that was happening. He was a little out of it thanks to the effects of the potion, but he was aware enough to pay attention to what was going on.

It was probably the strangest thing he had ever experienced, which made sense given the entire nature of this pregnancy. He knew they were raising their wands and making incisions--hell, he could hear parts of it--but he couldn't feel a thing.

There was a strange, tugging sensation, and then, finally, he heard her cry. And in that instant, it made everything--the crazy hormones, the glamour charms, the changes in lifestyle he'd had to make over the past few months--completely and totally worth it.

He saw her, perfect, and wrinkled, and newborn, for just a minute before they took her to get cleaned up and began the process of stitching him up. He was moved shortly after that to a recovery room when an Acolyte brought them their daughter.

The entire procedure was kind of a blur, like his brain was just skipping over parts of it to get to where he was now. Llian looked down at their newborn daughter, who was calm at the moment, her eyes closed. "She's absolutely perfect."
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Julianna Eppes

Juls couldn't help but smile when Llian emphasized that she was made for having babies. Of course by natural standards his words were correct, but she meant that she felt like being pregnant and being a mother was such a perfect…she felt worth something. It just felt so right to slip into that role. Regardless, she agreed with the underlying meaning that any other children they had - and she was sort of hoping for an entire litter - would be from her womb and not his unnatural one.

She hadn't enjoyed having that kind of control over their relations anyways.

When Llian squeezed her hand, Juls couldn't help but bring his to her lips, just utter happiness spilling from her eyes. Despite everything, she was in the most amazing place in her life. She had a name and an identity. She had a job she loved. She had a fiancee she loved, a man who reminded her how to be her own person, how to be strong, and how to have a place in the world. She wasn't afraid to do what she wanted and feel how she wanted and say what she wanted, though sometimes she bit her tongue and felt guilty for her feelings. She had a gorgeous house they designed together, and had been around the world learning new things all the time. He accepted her wolf, accepted who she was and what her past was, and they had a beautiful son. Soon they would have a beautiful daughter too.

"I love you, so much. You know that right?"

Juls didn't think he would ever understand how much he saved her.

Speaking about their son only made her smile grow, so easily picturing his face in her mind. He was growing up so fast - too fast - but this little maturity of him wanting to have his own little sister was much appreciated. They were doing something right in raising him, and he was already so social.

"I can't wait to meet her too."

And it seemed like just minutes after that they were going into the operation room and she was having to wear those mint green scrubs, anxiously holding onto Llian's hand and peering over the sheet as much as possible. She wasn't squeamish, but watching them cut into Llian was almost painful. It was for a good cause but…he would probably be sore for a while.

That was okay. She loved caring for him.

The tears started the second the baby's little head was brought up, the rest of her body soon following. She was beautiful, tiny, healthy…and she was giving those little baby cries that were just the cutest thing…Laughing through her tears, Juls swooped down to kiss Llian in jubilance, understanding now the other side of pregnancy. It was difficult to be on the sidelines as the support, but it also meant she had the first hand account of what was happening and wasn't too exhausted at the end to really meet their daughter.

It seemed over so fast and they were back in their original room, Llian all stitched up, making her wonder how long it would take for his insides to go back to normal, and they were waiting momentarily for Esmeralda to come back in with them.

That didn't take too long either and then they were both properly meeting their first daughter for the first time.

Reveling in her tiny, fisted hands with her tiny, tiny fingernails, reveling in that soft, soft skin and fragile body, Juls sighed in agreement, grinning even through her still watery eyes.

"You did good, Llian."

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Llian Eppes
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Llian couldn't look away from her. It was crazy that all this time, she had been growing inside of him. It was really, really surreal. He was surprised, almost, to find out just how different the two parental roles were. Though he and Juls both loved their two children the same, it was a completely different experience carrying the baby than watching Juls carry the baby. Difficulties aside, it was by far the most rewarding thing Llian had ever done.

If someone had told him just a few years ago that the happiest moments of his life would be the ones where he made the biggest commitments of it thus far, he would have told that person they were crazy. Yet here he was, welcoming his and Juls' second child--his third--into the world, and he had never been happier.

He looked up at Juls when she spoke. "Thanks," he replied with a smile, "...but you're still carrying the next one."

Their daughter shifted in his arms, yawning and blinking up at them. "She's absolutely perfect. So, you still think the name Esmeralda fits her?" It was the name they had settled on earlier in the pregnancy. They had both loved the sound of the name, and Llian felt like the connotation of the name with the gypsy Esmeralda worked perfectly with their travel-heavy lifestyle.
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Julianna Eppes

Juls had to smile as she looked at Llian's fixation on their new daughter. It wasn't like he wasn't equally as astonished as what they had made with Taylor, but she knew the difference. Just like she didn't feel any less happy or in love with their newest baby girl, but she didn't have that instantaneous bond that had been growing for the past nine months. The pride going about the room was well-deserved, in her opinion.

Of course, when he reminded her that she would be carrying the next one, Juls laughed. That was a common thread throughout the entire pregnancy; he had joked during Taylor's that he would carry the next and by some crazy ironic twist of fate, he had.

"So we'll just keep taking turns, right?" She teased, her attention going back down to Llian's arms when the newborn shifted. What was cuter than baby yawns? Nothing. Taylor was almost out of the toddler stage and he was growing up so fast - he was so smart and curious - and now she could obsess over tiny fingers and toes, long lashes, baby giggles once again. This thrilled her.

The question about the baby's name made her smile again, knowing they picked that name more for them and their lifestyle than her. However, any child of theirs would be able to grow into such a name and Juls had a feeling, with how their son was, that this little girl would be just as much of a spitfire.

"I think she'll fit it just fine. Look, she has my eyes." Of course, Taylor was the cutest little thing with his usually bright blue or grey or green eyes, but hers were huge and brown; stunningly dark.

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Llian Eppes
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Llian shook his head immediately at her suggestion of taking turns. "Nope. Don't think so. Sorry, but you're stuck being the pregnant one every time after this." It was not an experience he'd like to repeat, as amazing as it was. He figured Juls would be ok with that. He could tell that she felt more comfortable that way, and so did he.

He nodded when she agreed with the name. "I think so too. Esmeralda it is." He looked down when she pointed it out. Sure enough, Juls' own wide brown eyes were staring back at him. "She does! Merlin, she looks just like you." Esmeralda really did remind him a lot of Juls. He liked that because Taylor more resembled him, and he had always imagined them having a mini carbon copy of Juls running around the house too. "Did you hear that, Esmeralda? You look just like your gorgeous mum, you lucky little girl, you."

Even as he sat there holding her, he was already beginning to feel more like himself. "You know, I know it might take a bit to go completely back to normal with the hormones and things, but I'm already feeling a bit more like myself," he commented. Well, like a slightly-more-drugged-on-painkiller-potions version of himself.
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Julianna Eppes

Juls laughed at Llian's instantaneous reaction to her suggestion, internally more than satisfied at the idea she would having all their babies after that. It wasn't that she hadn't trusted him…she just actually liked being pregnant, feeling that progress day by day. She liked the accomplishment of bringing life into the world in a way that was filled with love - not as a breed horse.

"Alright, alright, fine. Just remember to keep the house well-stocked with sprinkles and bubble bath and we'll be okay." The suppressed change wasn't ever easy but Juls felt like she could mentally handle it better the more she did it.

"But just out of curiosity? How many babies do you want?"

They'd never actually talked about that.

Going back to the one they had just met, Juls' smile just grew as Llian decided Esmeralda looked just like her. Juls had really only noticed the eyes in excitement over them opening, but now she took the time to look over every feature; that pert nose, the promise of dark hair. And of course, Llian had to tell Esmeralda that her mom was gorgeous and she was lucky to look like her. Juls just shook her head in amusement and leaned over to kiss Llian.

"You know you already made me fall in love with you, agree to marry you, and have your babies, right? I'm just checking…"

Even happier to hear that Llian was already feeling more "him" than he had since he knew his insides were a little whacked out and he had to deal with mixed hormones he didn't naturally produce, Juls sighed in relief. There were no medical journals about how this all worked; how long it would take for him to be physically back to normal, if he ever did, was a very big, unspoken question mark. Juls didn't dare touch his stomach at that moment, but her hand hovered over that area for a second.

"And this is feeling okay, considering?"

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