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| Via Delgi Zingari; Colosseo; Jana's Apartment. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 25 2010, 08:23 PM (161 Views) | |
| Jana Rivers | Sep 25 2010, 08:23 PM Post #1 |
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![]() ![]() ![]() The flat was small, with few rooms, though not quite overstuffed or cramped. Jana papered the walls in her bedroom with posters of places she'd been--her big poster of Hawaii being most prominent. Over her vanity she had a few pictures--one of her the previous Christmas at her home, where she kept trying to get Oskram to pose in the picture for her, along with her family. She had her favorite image from the costume party, herself the scarlet geisha and Caleb in his priest ensemble--temptation and chastity in the same image. There was one of her, Olivia, and John outside when they were young--she never got tired of watching herself score a winning goal in football. She had a snapshot of her and Anna at Illume, hanging photos up and eating Asian food. There was a photo of herself and Amaris at La Botella Verde posing, and one of her and "the group" during the concerts: Winnie, Lia, Sam, Hunter, Brad, Sadie, Quin, Andrew, Lina, and Kylie (the last three looking quite busy at the moment). And naturally, carefully positioned at the front was one of herself and Caleb in Hawaii: they had set the camera up to take a picture of them in the surf and sun, but within it they were no longer still and posing, rather running around and tumbling straight into the surf half the time. Caleb kept picking her up and spinning her around the longer she looked at it. The living room she had also put up pictures of where she'd gone; the most prominent being a big photo of Caleb and herself at an event for his campaign. Right below that she had placed a wall-sized photo of a shot Winnie had taken of Hunter at one of their concerts, and on the table she had another one of her and Amaris. Her desk was smushed between the door and window bar out of the kitchen, covered in papers with a bulletin board above it. There were also multiple posters of Caleb's campaign (some standing in boxes waiting to be shipped out), all of which stated everything catchy slogans to the simplistic "Silverhawk for Minister 2010." The kitchen was the best part of the interior in her mind, as the living area was small, stuffed with books, scrapbooks, and papers, a table and a single couch. Also standing in the corner was a keyboard, small and obviously battered (about to fall over at any moment it looked like); obviously played often, as music was falling off the top of it. Large, it had two main areas to work on, as well as a pantry and spice rack she kept stuffed with herbs and other concoctions. There was a potions cupboard in here as well, and a large fireplace, once used for cooking she presumed, but which now served a duel function as her Floo connection, though heavily warded. There was also above it a wood-burning stove above it, which Jana has used to create authentic pizza. When in Rome... The real reason that Jana had chosen this location however (besides it's reasonable price, and the fact that she'd wanted to be in Rome), was it's balcony. The sun-terrace had black iron furniture with paisley cushions (and cushioning charms, so they actually were comfortable. It overlooked the side of the city where people habited on bicycles and just at the edge of her vision was one of the beautiful beaches. She was close enough to the city center that people were always bustling about down there, but the sea air reached up to her balcony without problem. She had situated a porch swing to sit there, large enough for they to sit comfortably, and hung up lights that looked like Christmas lights (...in fact Abi had supplied her with them) around the barriers. Jana purchased the flat just to have a place she could truly call her own that she purchased all on her own, and because she always had wanted to live in Rome. Her fireplace and job keeps her in England most times still--except, that is, if she's off on a weekend trip somewhere. Recent locations have been Tokyo, Beijing, and Seoul, as she makes rounds to old contacts and friends to "catch up." -&- |
![]() hold on, {hold tight}, make it through another night... & every day, there comes a sun, with the d a w n . . . {{there is a light in your eyes}} | |
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| Amaris Tudor | Oct 5 2010, 09:03 AM Post #2 |
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SparkleUnicornFairy's Life Guru
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Note: This RP takes place on September 25th, 2010 Amaris Tudor was not the only person living in this world. Yet for all the knowledge that the world contained 6.7 billion people, she had only recently understood what that meant. It meant that focusing on her own life and all the ups and downs, was not productive at all. Neither was sitting around and feeling sorry for herself. She was annoying herself, so therefore she was going to make an effort to see her friends. She could count them on one hand, two if she included family members. That was besides the point. Either way, after stopping by to check up on Holly-Rae and Belle sans a court approved caretaker, she headed to the pizzeria near Jana's new place to pick up a big and huge pizza pie. Amaris could finally eat solids after nearly two months of soup or ice-cream. An unfortunate side effect of being fed by test tube at St. Mungo's, it weakened her throat. Unpleasant experience- she was trying to focus on the positive aspect: time to built up her throat muscles again. Oh the innuendos. Amaris knew exactly who she was going to visit first- Jana. Ama recently was floo'ed by Jana to tell her of her new place in Italy and of course, Ama made a promise to come visit. Besides, it was an unspoken agreement that they would avoid mail by owl to contact one another. They were still a bit sketchy about it and seeing as how Ama's own owl had flown off when the Death Eaters ransacked her place, she hadn't bought a new one. Her poor owl. Now Italy, Amaris could have very easily gotten used to it. Cobblestone paved and the architecture, the arches especially, how different it felt from cold, rainy, windy London, it was like a little tiny miracle. Passing a cute Italian guy riding down the street on a Vespa who winked at her, Amaris grinned smugly, walking a bit more confidently as she flipped her hair (no longer straw-like and coarse, thank Merlin) over her shoulder, revealing more of her strapless green tank top which matched so amazingly well with her skinny black jeans and camo ankle booties. Oh yeah, she still had it. Turning a corner, she reached the address Jay had told her about, finding the appropriate buzzer before pressing it down once, twice, and three times. The last time, she held it down so she could speak into it. "Ciao, amica mia! It's Ama! Open up!" Edited by Amaris Tudor, Oct 5 2010, 09:05 AM.
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![]() [Dea!...From a long time ago XD] | |
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| Jana Rivers | Oct 5 2010, 09:34 AM Post #3 |
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One year, three hundred, sixty two days, give or take a few hours. That was how long it had been, that was how long she had been attempting to move on with her life. Yet with the two year anniversary so close to upon her, she was finding little else present on her mind. Thinking herself in aggravating circles where she sat on her new balcony, she was focused on a few things. One, she was going to dye her hair. She had always wondered what she'd look like blond, and what was more: it was symbolic. Symbolic of a lightening of her life with the color of the sun in her hair, a new beginning. A new rebirth. If she could just stop thinking about it all. At that moment, Jana was dressed simply and comfortably in sweats, camisole and light sweater for the autumn breeze. Her hair was tied back and out of her eyes, lumped up in her head with two Japanese pins holding it up. She had a butterfly adorned blanket spread across her lap. And as ever, the necklace from Caleb hung around her neck, where she continued to stroke it absently. Caleb had not come over yet--but she hadn't expected him too. She had taken a few days to move, though to say she'd taken them "off" was a little bit of a stretch--she didn't exactly get into a conversation without mentioning that the person needed to vote for Caleb and at least a round dozen of the million reasons she could present at a moments notice. She also had continued to owl people, send out fliers, and set up posters. From there she had begun making inroads with Caleb's Italian friends here in Rome. It had been days since they had been able to truly get more than a moment together. At least when he was elected she'd be able to schedule him vacations. She was terrified he was going to collapse, never mind herself. And...okay, she kind of totally missed him. It was easier to sleep in her bed here as it was an utterly new place with a lot of light, but the last few nights had not been exactly "easy." The old nightmares were back, like clock work. It was for that reason she sat quiet, a box of tissues and her diary sitting out on the table. She was staring at the diary when the buzzer went. She was wondering why it was that it wasn't working; why writing everything out wasn't getting it the hell out of her. Rubbing her cheek with the back of her sweater she took a breath and stood. Then she remembered who had promised they'd come, and she beamed. Sure enough, as she opened the door, it was Amaris standing in front of her and she gave a happy squeal, hugging her in greeting. Amaris was truthfully one of the only people in the world she could feel comfortable touching at that precise moment, but she tried to pay that no mind. She didn't actually know if Ama was aware how close they were to her 'release date'. She was simply happy to see her. She had missed her friend, no matter if it had been a week or so since they last saw each other. That had been a quick hello, not a visit. They had so much to catch up on, hang out over... "Ciao Ama! Oh, come in!" Spying the ridiculous amount of food Amaris was carrying as Jana scooted around her to shut the door, she locked it behind her and gestured out towards the balcony, "...you're not pregnant again, are you?" Amaris was holding a pizza, a thing of peanut butter, and two tubs of ice cream. And Jana was teasing. Edited by Jana Rivers, Oct 5 2010, 09:35 AM.
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![]() hold on, {hold tight}, make it through another night... & every day, there comes a sun, with the d a w n . . . {{there is a light in your eyes}} | |
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| Amaris Tudor | Oct 5 2010, 06:44 PM Post #4 |
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SparkleUnicornFairy's Life Guru
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Amaris grinned immediately as Jana opened the door to let her in, putting the food items over to one side and out of the way as she hugged her back as tightly as she could given the circumstances. Amaris thrived off human attention and human interactions and just being around people in general. She wasn't entirely misanthropic, especially not today and she wanted to visit her friend. Jana was actually the person she knew for the least amount of time in her small group of "friends" but that didn't lessen her friendship at all. She was already a good friend- she had told her things she hadn't even thought she could write down let alone say out loud. Amaris told Jay that it was an innate skill and she should use it well and not for evil. She happily walked in to the apartment, looking around at the decoration; Amaris definitely approved. It was light, it was open and it was comfortable. There were a tons of pictures hung around the walls and on some of the table surfaces. Amaris saw familiar people in them: Caleb, of course, in all his pre-Minister glory; Hunter, her life guru- another person to visit later on; Anna, Jay and Shawn's friend as well as (she recently discovered) Phin's sister...oh the connections; she recognized a few people from a rather large group photo- Lina and Kylie mostly. One of her, actually two of her! Amaris beamed- she looked pretty good in those photos. "I love your new place." At Jana's question, Amaris laughed as she kept walking to the balcony when Jay directed her to do so, turning around to face her joking friend. "No, that would require me being sexually active. Fortunately, my hand can't get me pregnant," she commented as she turned around again to place the pizza and the peanut butter and the ice cream on the table. "Unless it immaculate conception," she argued herself, "In which case, boy is God funny." Funny as in completely horrible. Who would willingly give her another baby? Why would God choose her to carry his children? Yeah, hilarious. Amaris sat down, looking out over at the view- tile ceilings. Tile instead of shingles- this was the way it was supposed to be; Amaris approved once more. "Actually, I can eat solids now- hence the pizza. The ice-cream," she took out her wand a put a cooling charm on it to keep it a perfect temperature, "Is for you. The peanut butter for later." You never know when you needed peanut butter. |
![]() [Dea!...From a long time ago XD] | |
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| Jana Rivers | Oct 13 2010, 02:20 AM Post #5 |
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The firm hug caught her slightly off guard, but Jana's smile broke wide. Although Jana had been expecting Amaris, she still was thrilled to see her friend show up. No matter how short a time she'd known Ama, they had grown incredibly tight in the last few months. Between how easily Ama got her to talk, and far more importantly how easily she got her to laugh, her friendship was one she valued quite high. Anything that brought light to her overly weighted and depressing life was welcome, and Ama was like a ray of sunshine on the darkest of days. And other less sappy things too. Case in point, the answer to her question had her full out laughing, as well as rolling her eyes. "Oh, utterly hilarious." Jana smirked back at her friend, brushing off her shirt and fixing the zipper while shaking her head to herself. As she watched Ama look around, she stood near the door to the balcony, shifting in place. The doorbell was luckily a buzzer here; in her present mindset, had she heard a bell, she might not even have let her friend in. The examination of her flat left her smiling with sheepishness, while a worry she didn't understand ran away from her and she rubbed her cheek again with the back of her shirt, her knuckles pressed against her lips for a minute. "Thanks. It's not all set up yet...it's not that much." She paused, and then brightened, her eyes meeting her friends again. "But it's mine!" That was happier. It wasn't that she hadn't loved living with Anna; she had. She just had decided it was far past the time she actually completely support herself and live independently again. There was a fair amount of proving to herself that she could do it going on; she didn't need Caleb (or any other person, Anna included) to survive in this life. It made the fact that she wanted Caleb there a choice, not a necessity. Most of all she just wanted to prove, to whomever was asking, that her life was her own. Her life was her own; she was going to live it her way and that was what mattered. As she followed Amaris outside, these ideas still bouncing across her mind, she ran a hand through her hair, her other hand fingering the necklace she wore and tossed a blanket over them both. Taking the ice cream with a beam, she set it down and laughed, "Thanks. And thanks for coming." Yet she reached for a slice of pizza first--the dessert could wait. "I think I was craving pizza. Well, I suppose that makes sense, seeing as how I'm in Rome now." As she set the ice cream bowl down on the table however, she saw her diary sitting there and froze for a moment, reaching to pick it up and fold it into her lap, very aware of the panic that must have run through her expression the moment she spied it. Looking at it in her lap, she propped her chin up on her hand, and murmured a slight apology, "Sorry. I was just...I was writing earlier, I forgot it was out here." She looked back up at her friend, her expression softening as she explained, "It's...September 25th. September 28th will be the...two year anniversary of the day I got out." She let a beat pass, taking a breath and asking as she gestured the peanut butter, "For later?" & For the sake of seeing how this scene ended :), please read. Ama: *gets comfortable under blanket* thank you hun *grabs her own slice and takes a bite as well* later yep. you never knooow when you'll want peanut butter...or me. *takes another bite* i have an ulterior motive for being here. *pauses to purse her lips* I know we we're joking about it yesterday...planning the party and everything but...its not exactly a light issue. do you wanna talk about it? Jana: *had been amused, grinning and remarked--* Oh? *--about the ulterior motive but stills and blinks in surprise, tightening and repeating* Oh. *takes bite of pizza* I...er. *quiet for a moment* No, it's not a light issue. I--*qualifies* I mean, the party is--that's great, but it...*pauses, trails off for a moment and tilts head* Did Caleb put you up to this? Writer: *facepalm* Ama: *shakes head* no, sweetie. we're not exactly on talking terms, given the fact we've never met. i'm asking you because i'm your friend, and I'm concerned and well, talking to *you* somehow always makes me feel better even if nothing gets resolved...so, I wanted to give you the opportunity to talk to *me*. if you're not comfortable with it still, i understand and we can go back to eating this amazingly prepared hand-tossed pizza. Jana: You've never met? *blinks* Oh, we need to fix that. I...sorry. I just, assumed...he's mentioned that I should...talk about it, with someone besides him, so...*takes a deep breath, lips twitching in a soft smile* Well. I'm glad I can help, even if it doesn't really ever change anything. *gaze floats towards pizza and seems to think for a loooong time and then decide something, rubbing her face with the side of her sweatshirt around her fist and nods, just once* I...don't know how to start. Ama: you always say that *smiles softly* well great minds think alike. *nods after her* okay. start with...well, how the approaching release date...makes you feel. *takes a bite out of the pizza* and i was just kidding about choosing one or the other...pizza is still up for grabs. Jana: *blushes a bit and chuckles under her breath* Yeah, I seem to forget just how anti-social Caleb is. *shakes head, rolling eyes* Jana: *nodding about the pizza, wets lips hesitantly and thinks* Proud. First and foremost. *rubbing forehead and nods again* Yeah, proud. I'm proud to have that date to celebrate at all. I dreamed about that day for a long time. And it was funny, because when it happened, it wasn't like anything like you'd dream, you know? *tilts head at her* No fireworks, no parade, no earth-shattering kaboom...there wasn't anything like that. I didn't even break the spell that day. All that happened was another order. A simple, single, order, that I followed for a good eight months. But it also...that date makes me think about it...all again. Not that it ever really goes away, you know. It's kind of...always there. Ama: *smiles a bit when she mentions caleb again, and then brings her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them as she listens to her start talking about it* would you...say it's permanently haunting you, those memories? are they still completely horrible to remember? as bad as before? Jana: *biting bottom lip and takes a moment to think* They...*pause* when I let myself think about them...*pause* they're all completely horrible, yes. There were very few things that were...you know, rays of light...*waving palm, and then perches her chin back atop it* I guess I don't know about permanently haunting me, however, because I don't... want to be defined by, them. They're not ... me, they weren't the person that I am. When I got out...that was the first question I had to try and answer, you know? If that wasn't me--if I hadn't been me for seven years, since I couldn't look myself in the mirror and know me well then... who the hell am I? Ama: *nodding along slowly* i could only imagine most of it, and i don't want to. *shakes head* can you answer that question now? without that time you spent there...interferring for lack of a better word? Jana: *very quiet and says veryyy lowly* I lived it. *eyes flutter shut and then she's rubbing them veryyy, very hard with her thumb/forefinger for a moment, swallows and takes another breath, eyes fluttering open and shrugs* I guess as well as anyone, can really? Caleb told me at the time– Wri: I'm going to have to start a "How Many Times She Mentions Caleb" count I think lmaooo... --that he wanted to figure me out? The funny thing was, so did I. I know now that I'm someone who doesn't give up. I don't back down. And I know I fight for things. I also know I take it too far sometimes; when I have a purpose to fight for, I tend to get tunnel-vision. But you know what I kind of hope I am, more than anything? Kind. I want to be able to forgive people. Take Catalina, for example. Part of why it's so hard for me to talk to her--I mean, if she could get through a conversation without insulting me--is because she was...she was there. She was there--she stole my life and stuck it on a resume and that's the only reason she has a job right now. I saw her every day; it wasn't like, Caleb, where I stayed out of his way and he stayed out of mine. But I don't want to hate her. I don't want to. I know pretty much exactly how she grew up; I met her when she was fourteen after all. I know a lot of things about her--I actually think she's scared, about how much I saw. But...anyways, the point was...last August, when she was under that Imperius curse... I mean, I've literally been there. I don't...want to be this angry, bitchy person....I was wrecked, for years. I was wrecked because of the lifestyle I had to live. Jana: *pauses for a moment and then says carefully* Exactly how much have, I told you? I know there are certain--*fidgets*--aspects that you're aware of without me...telling you, but what...have, I told you? Ama: *repeats...for emphasis i think* you are very fierce and strong when you fight for things. it's very admirable. sometimes a bit scary. always hot. *nods* yes, i can definitely see how it must be awkward, to say the least, with Cat. *puts a hand on her shoulder* but you're not wrecked anymore. you...havent gone in detail about the specifics hardships. the basics, that's what I know. Jana: *literally, folding within the blanket as she repeats and turns towards Ama, knee caps squeezing together and smallest smile flicks up at one point, swallowing, and then laughs under her breath, very tinyyy sound and nods* Hot. Thank you. *bites bottom lip and nods* No, I'm not. Honestly, most days go by and I don't even think about it. When I'm not....*quiet sigh* dreaming, that is. I still have....terrible nightmares about it sometimes. Wake up, and don't remember that I'm not there anymore, that that's not my life anymore. *takes a deep breath and flicks her eyes up to look Ama's straight on and says without blinking* I didn't think so. Because it's those...little things, it's saying it...that's what makes it real, and I'd really prefer it hadn't been real. *quiet* But. It was real. I did live it. And it's one of those terrible cases where the reality is worse than the imagination, so I can completely understand if you don't...*voice cracks for a second* don't want to hear, it... *voice strengthens* But I think. I think if I don't, say it somewhere, then I'm just going to keep having these nightmares, right? I'm just going to keep waking up and worrying? Wondering whether or not it's ever going to truly be over? And by not talking about it, I think I've been letting it keep this power over me, and I don't...I don't want to do that anymore. Ama: *smiles* just the truth sweetie, but you are welcome either way. *nods* Jay, if you are ready to say it, I am more than ready to listen. Go on. Jana: *eyes widen slightly, smile widens and brow wiggles* Truth or not, I'm flattered. *calm for a moment, appearing to sink slightly in the swing, which, starts to swing in the breeze while she thinks, eyes screwing up slightly and then just appears to...well, launch?* I didn't have chocolate the entire time I was in the manor. Not...a single piece. I really kind of started to miss it. *nods at pizza* That too. Pizza, I mean.It's funny how you start to crave like, food that's like, really terrible for you. I wasn't, see, allowed to eat anything that might have caused me to gain weight. Like I really could, have gained weight, when I was working sixteen hours a day, pretty much minimum. I never was ... off call, so to speak, so it could be three in the morning, and I could be asleep, and I'd find myself summoned somewhere in the manor. Damien...Damien didn't even have to open his mouth. He could will me, somewhere--"call" for me with a simple thought. He was in my head. *putting her free hand up to her forehead, wiping at it* It wasn't exactly like the Imperius curse, I didn't get wiped free of thought, I didn't just hear his echoing voice...but he was there nonetheless. There was nowhere I could go to be free of him. Ever. *shuddering, and reverts to other facts* The manor. That manor? It's huge. It's ridiculous. There are more passageways and alcoves and tapestries and expensive urns....there's no way, any one family could need any of that. All those expensive furnishings however? A single scuff mark, and that would be my fault. And as I wasn't allowed to do magic, I'd be cleaning it with lye, and water by hand, on my knees, usually in some skimpy black dress. Have you ever touched lye? Your hands...blister. It literally, corrodes your skin -- *looking down at her hands shaking slightly* you burn, and bleed, there was one time that my knuckles were turning black. But the sickest part of all of that? *voice shakes for a moment* Was when I realized it, when I saw what it was doing to my hands, I wanted to throw it, all over my body. I wanted to bathe in it. Because then....then Damien wouldn't touch, me, I thought...I thought...*dies off for a moment and looks at her hands, resting on her lap and turning over in themselves* But when he saw what it did to my hands...he forbade me to use it for anything but cleaning. Like he...knew. *is now shaking so badly that she breaks off for a moment, shaking her head from side to side* Ama: *swallows dryly, scooting closer to her, hugging her around her shoulders, rubbing her arm softly trying to stop her from shaking* deep breaths, hun. *sighs herself* you don't have to go on if you don't want to. Jana: *shakes head side to side and says simply* N-No. I, *takesssss deep breath* I need to. I've already started, right? *shakkyyy laugh and then steadies self, wrapping her own arm around Ama's back to hold on to her, hugging back firmly for a minute and then straightening up and blinking with this soft, soft smile and nods once again* There was a piano...actually there were several pianos...but there was this one, grand piano, in the parlor that Calandra took lessons on and this instrument...it was haunting, the melodies she'd play. I wanted to learn. That was a joke of course, but I would sit at that damn piano and plunk out twinkle twinkle little star at one in the morning, one finger at a time, stumbling along the notes, trying not to make too much noise, whenever I was able to. Curran came in one night. I stopped playing immediately, but he'd heard. I don't know how to explain Curran. He wasn't exactly like his father, but he was close. He was worse, in some ways. But anyway, Curran started laughing when he heard--*tears are now shining, in her eyes by the way*--started sneering about how to really play it, and how I was...pathetic, I think was the insult of choice that time...*quiet* Curran tended to cycle through them. I don't even know if he ever learned my name. *shakes head* Which is hilarious, because Damien took such care, he took such care, to pretend I was someone else, to strip away my married name, and Curran wasn't bothered at all by it. He wouldn't have noticed. *shakes head* It just...he yelled at me, then. He started off laughing..he'd always start off laughing, and then he grabbed me right--right here--*points to her arms, right above her elbow*--he pulled me off and said pointblank, that the piano wasn't to be sullied by my hands or...or something, something like that, and then he forbade me to play the piano. *long pause* Writer: *quiet for a moment* .....That is why you started taking lessons? Dude, I knew you went into piano lessons literally a year and like, ten months ago... my *god*... Ama: I remember Cornnut *frowns and purses lips briefly* merlin, I can't believe you lived liked that for that long. and that not even being the worst...*rubbing small circles on her back* didnt you tell me he..brought back some muggle girl or someone back with him one night? *frowns* Jana: Cornnut..*laughs & nods, bitttting that bottom lip really hard* Yes. Yes, he did. I remember that night....really vividly actually. I saw him, I threw up in this expensive vase in the hallway, and then I had to get rid of that so...well at the time I just hid the vase behind a tree. And then I went to find the passageway, except Caleb was in there. *sigh* He was doing his usual pretend-I-don't-exist, except he spoke up I think, when I crossed the room, told me I didn't want to go someway because of his mother. ...Anne. *quiet* Anne, knew exactly who I was, apparently. She knew who I was; she didn't care. And she knew...she knew what Damien was doing, to me, and...and she blamed me. She's the one that I dealt with on the day to day--Anne's the one in charge of house-work. And I had to wake her up, I made all of them their breakfast with the house-elves, so I'd have to get up...five, am? And I rotated through the girls, which one I was responsible for that day. I did everything from choosing outfits to drawing baths and stitching skirts. That--*slow smile spreads* is actually, how I learned to stitch and sewed pockets into all of the clothes I was given, while doing the stitching for the girls. And those pockets had little buttons; I could hide my rings in there, once I got them back, kept them with me all the time...*smile flicks* That was ...the first time, I succeeded, in years actually. Ama: any sane person would have reacted the same way *shudders a bit* ...wow. that's...really messed up thinking. blaming you. *shakes head but smiles slightly as she recounts the story of hidden pockets* a personal triumph *nods softly* Jana: *lips twitch in that smile* It wasn't...much, it was just all I could do. I actually got really...obsessive, about those rings. They were something of a literal lifeline. I'm glad, that I could get them. I had, to defy him, see. I had to defy him somehow. I still have them--they're in a box in my room, and I don't really go anywhere without them permanently, even if I don't wear them anymore. *nods vehemently* It was terrible! I don't understand, how she could...do that, how broken she had to be. I'd wondered, when I first got there, how anyone could be married to...to that man. *shaking again and tightens her arm around her, hugging her for a moment* I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different from Damien's wife, but...but I'd thought...he worked so hard to hide who I was. I thought surely, one of them, had to want to help me, if they learned..I mean, in some ways I was right, because of Caleb ...but even Caleb didn't want to know me at all, at first. Even Caleb believed Damien's lies. He was offered, me. Did I tell you that? *literally, is getting flushed* His father literally told him--and Curran too- that he had no problems sharing. I actually had to consider myself lucky...lucky, that Caleb was so disgusted by that, that he didn't even want to know me--and lucky, that Curran decided he 'didn't need his father to get him girls'...It was sick. Ama, it was brutal. It was violent, it was...everything about my life there, was designed, to make me feel like I wasn't a person. It was designed, to take everything, everything, from me- make me an animal, make me non-human. To them, I already wasn't. Catalina? She questioned me at every turn, she wanted to know everything about where I came from--but did she care? She thinks I'm dating Caleb so he can bring me back! *flinch, voice picking up in pitch and eyes going wider* Curran....he was abusive, he treated me literally, like I was a dog. I actually think he was psychotic. Anne, blamed me, Cassie insulted me, Callie berated me--they ordered me to do everything from laundry and lighting the lamps, to when I was allowed to eat, what I was allowed to eat, when I was allowed to sleep and Damien--Damien--Damien...*literally, breaks for a moment, her breath just running off on her and bites down on her lip for a moment and kind of chokes, it out--* raped, me. *tears spill out of her eyes, and she's shaking, but she says it again, stronger, quieter* Damien raped, me. *breath* Repeatedly. *shaking her head, still crying* Ama: *shudders a bit, brief tears in her own eyes, as she wipes them quickly, flinching and hugs her tightly* oh jana. *sighs* thank merlin for the solitary black sheep of that family. *keeps hugging her* i dont know what to say... Jana: *is crying, pretty heavily and lips twitch into a smile, into a frown, choked-laugh, into a smile again and hugs her back, wiping at Ama's eyes for her with her free hand and laughs slightly* Oh. *chokes back, still wiping at her tears and shaking her head* You don't...have to say anything, I know you already knew...I just...it's..*hiccups* I'm so blessed to have you as a friend. That you'll listen to me...like this... Ama: *sniffs, wiping at her eyes* dont lauugh. *smiles softly and nods* well of course, I will. This was...god, you're kinda pretty amazing, you know? Just...you are. And *I'm* the blessed one. Really. *sniffs again* look at us. anybody passed by right now, I might have to claw out their eyes. Jana: *starts laughing and then hushes self and nods firmly* Ohhh, I'd help. *quiets, sniffling and wipes at her own eyes and lifts her head in a slow nod and settles to grin, tilting her head back and forth then, looking back at her hands and says very quietly* Yeah, I do. I didn't for a while, you know. So it...still means a lot, to hear you say it. And *smiles slightly* sorry, I had to laugh, Caleb actually hates most of his family, so...you know, maybe he was adopted. *grin* Ama: well, im glad i didnt have to repeat it twice for you to believe it. *smiles* you kno, that would make a lot of sense. nature vs nurture. but you kno *lightly bumps her shoulder* youve had quite your share of influence on him. Jana: *smile flicks, pressing her lips together and nods* Nah, then that's just me poking for a compliment and I...I don't want to be considered self-centered. *presses back of her hand to her eyes, blinking wide-eyed while pressing away tears* Merlin. *sniffles* *rocks with the bump and smiles again* I guess I did, didn't I? I showed up, you know, was capable of human speech... Ama: and what is so bad about being considered self centered? *joking, smiles* yes you did. you proved him wrong, trusted him, didnt act like the whore he thought you were. *pauses* in all seriousness though, you did. do you really think he would be where he is right now if he hadn't met you? i know the same can be used vice-versa but you saved him too. Jana: *smiles softly, cheeks a little red* I guess nothing, but...*shrug* *laughs slightly, nodding with the words and blinks at the end, smile suddenly farrr more genuinely-happy and brightening and resettling in the blanket* I didn't save...I mean...he saved himself. *grin* But I'm so proud of him. I am, I'm so proud of how far he's come...standing up for himself, snapping at Cat about what he wants....it's incredible. Ama: sure he saved himself buuut you were the catalyst and motivator and enabler. *smiles* you're both doing wonderful. and yes, i agree, it really is. *sighs and grins* ...hmm, more pizza. *grabs another slice* hmm, heads up? im sleeping over. no arguments. wri: pretty sure that was to you LOML XDDD Jana: *now grinning wider and nodding* Well, I take pleasure in being the enabler of as many purebloods to gain common sense as possible. I should start a movement. *.............pause* Actually, a movement about awareness isn't a bad idea at all; once Caleb's elected I could even get it recognized...*takes bite of her pizza and nods* Yes, you are. *quiet for a moment, the tears having finally ceased* Thank, you. Thank you so, much. *quiet* Okay. *wipes at eyes* The worst part of it all...when you hear...rape...I'm sure the image you conjure...it's all...violent, because she's fighting. All my fighting? *puts hand on her heart* Was here, it was all internal, because he just...he'd give me an order. He didn't have to restrain me, he just had to..*hand flutters to her ear, rubbing it absently* tell me it, right here? Tell me to do something, and I'd do it. Ama: *chuckles* a whole movement? dream big! *grins* in all sincerity, it only takes about 20% of a population to start a movement...at least i think those were the statistics. *shrugs and starts eating the crust of the pizza* anytime, hon...*keeps listening, wincing at the image* if anything that's a lot more horrible to think about. not being able to fight it. Jana: *nods exuberantly* No seriously though! Caleb's about to be elected Minister. Wouldn't that, you know, be a great catalyst for some real change in the system now? Prejudice still exists. It still exists in huge ways. And it's like it's ignored now, because people think it's done with. It's what always happened. There was a push for change, and it drops out of the public eye because some celebrity just got thrown in rehab for the umpteenth time or something! *is clearly, rambling about this to avoid listening and suddenly breaks off, wincing herself and rubbing her ear more vigorously* It...it was. He wasn't just screwing me physically, he screwed me emotionally. His commands weren't just...take off the jacket or...or undo my belt-- Writer: I just notice she's slipped into actual commands here, as if she's..him, giving them.. Jana: --they could be emotional. *shakes head very very slowly* As in, telling me, that I wanted it. The moment he said it, I...did; I had no choice but to obey that. It was like a mindset change. No matter how much I hurt, I thought I wanted more, so I acted...like it and...*looks down at pizza and sets it down* *says very quietly* It was unbearable. All of this...this is too much to happen to one person, Ama, we're two years later, and it's still...I'm almost still numb. Then furious. Then despairing--then determined...then numb again. *shakes head* It....it helps, to say it out loud thought. The details...because you know, I never thought of it this way, but when I snowball it? When I say "all of this"? There's no way any person in the world can imagine all of this. It's just not possible, and it diminishes...it diminishes "all of this"! Ama: it does exist, it probably always will but it shouldnt be allowed to grow, quite the opposite, it needs to be squished down so yes. agreed. caleb will def have his work cut out for him. and you as well, of course...*rubs her shoulder when she notices jana rambling* ...it's difficult...to believe that there's even people like that out there, who would be capable of this...god, that's such a lot to bear. *passes a hand over her face* im glad that something as simple, well kind of, as talking can help. takes away some of...the impact? *saying it outloud to see how it sounds, but questioning herself, shakes head, putting a crust down* do you think it'll ever go away? completely? Jana: *still quiet* People need to understand it, I think. Kerri's book for example. She takes it too far. Not all purebloods are bad...in fact, some are literal angels. It's prejudice...it's the attitude...*just shaking head, calms slightly when Ama rubs her shoulder and shuts her eyes to take a breathe, steadying herself, saying wryly* I know. It's all hard to believe. I think that was part of the point actually, the more sensational, the harder it is to prove. All Damien is going to have to do is get up on that stand and be all smarmy and charming and appeal to his buddies in the Wizengamot and...and..*shakes slightly* You know, even knowing about Voldemort, even knowing about this prejudice...this... it's evil, Ama. He is honestly, evil, it embodies the word. *takes a pause to consider the words and her face hardens for a moment* Completely? No. No, I don't think so. It was seven years of my life. *head holds up a little higher* But. I don't need to think about it, every day. There were days this year--scattered, perhaps--where I wasn't reminded and didn't think about it at all. It's getting better, all the time, even if it's never going to be gone. Part of it was settling into life again. When I got out..I mean, my parents? They thought I was dead. But these big things like that, seeing old friends, telling my boss where I'd gone...those weren't the problems. *tilts head* I didn't know what stores were still open. I didn't know if my favorite coffee shop even existed anymore. I didn't know if my old contacts still worked where they had. I knew every detail, of Llian's life, of Death Eater triumphs and losses---because Damien loved to share all that--but the little, the mundane things...I didn't know anything like that. And when I got out, it was hard to remember I didn't have to wake up on his schedule anymore. I kept waking up at five am anyways. I used to take my coffee in all kinds of crazy ways, but at the manor I was lucky to take it black and ... now I just drink it black. Or..or Caleb, he pulled the chair out for me once and I didn't know what to do. I was flummoxed. Because of course, I was never "allowed to sit in their presence*.... *trails off and then murmurs* Caleb... Ama: *readjusts the blanket around them as she keeps listening to jay, going back to hug her knees against her chest* must have been really difficult, getting adjusted to basically this whole new world. but, and forgive me if I'm wrong in saying it, after all you've been through, doesn't it -it should- get easier from here? Jana: *shifts with her and then almost smiles, shaking her head* No forgiveness necessary. *nods again, smiling now* Yes. It does...it has. Two years ago, I was still chasing after Llian, ignoring what was right in front of my eyes. Ignoring the fact that I couldn't talk to Llian about this, because I felt like I'd failed him. Like in admitting it, it still was somehow my fault. *brow furrows and sighs* And ignoring that Caleb was the one fighting for me--that he always had been. I wised up eventually. And two years ago, if you'd told me I'd be sitting on this porch talking to you like this, saying it all like this ...I'd have asked when the bludger hit you. It has gotten better. As I've settled in, as I've met new people, stopped being so oblivious to Caleb, got through to him in return...That's why it still hurts so much, when someone tries to mess with that. This past summer, last January... last year... it's not like I've had it easy and pain-free since getting free either. *sighs* *rubs her cheek and then squeezes Ama's shoulder* And neither have you. I...can't express how much it means to me, that you'll put up with my rambling like this, and if you need to talk about anything, anything...I'm here, okay? Ama: *smiles sadly* well, the good thing is that you did wise up eventually, hon. so you don't have to worry about the what-ifs. *smiles* believe me, i never thought i would have a friend like this either so- shocker to us both. *blinks in confusion and then smiles* thank you, its great to hear that but I'm fine, really. and don't worry you will be the first...and possibly the only *chuckles* to know. *smiles* great things await you, you know. eventually...*sighs* hopefully? *grins* optimism. Jana: *chuckles veryyy lightly* Yeah, and it took way too long, so I'm not planning on wasting a moment now. I refuse actually, no matter how many difficulties come up with dating him. *lips twitch a bit* As long as you promise you'll tell me. Trust me, I...*shaky laugh* I understand how hard it is to talk about...anything like this. *takes a very deep breath, smiling and cheeks going slightly red* You know what seems...remarkably great, right now? The simplest, not the greatest, of things...because really I think the words coincide. Having Caleb for support. Having a job that can make a difference. *pause* And having a friend like you. Friendship, family, love...it's remarkable how warm and fuzzy you all can make me feel. Reminds me I'm not...totally, dead inside, you know? Ama: good. Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero! *smiles* i do promise. *pulls her hair away and then takes another slice of pizza* aww, jay *puts the pizza down to put her hands over her heart* you flatter me. *laughs softly but nods* I understand.....to a certain point at least *grins* never thought i'd say this but being alive...really is wonderful. this might just be the pizza talking but *lips twitch* simple things. make it worthwhile, warm fuzzy feelings like you said *takes another bite, pauses and then swallows* but if word gets out i said that....i'll deny. denydenydeny. Jana: *laughs* Well, I figured if I'm going to be saying all the horribly-heart-wrenching bad stuff I haveeee to say all the heart-warning sappy stuff too. Sanity!! *grins* Because I'm a fan of it. *nodding* I... *pulls her knees up to her chest, wiping at her eyes again and says instead* See. I said all off that. And it's like, nothing changed. But at the same time, everything kind of does, because I'm not just carrying it on my own anymore. It's not just...eating away at me, threatening to break me down again. And it's a...wonderful, *soft smile and rests cheek on top of knees* feeling...if ridiculously wearing and tiring to have said it all. It's draining. *smiles* For once *eyes shut* I feel perfectly empty of it all. *pause and eyes flutter open* I didn't just fill you up with it did I? Ama: *grins* a good balance, i approve. *thumbs up before taking another bite of the pizza slice* i understand...sometimes all we need to do is to talk, just let the load out, and have someone listen. *smiles* no hon, consider me a garbage disposal. you threw it out and i destroyed it. and I'm happy to have helped. Jana: *nods absently with the last bit and smiles before hugging her again, reallyyyy rather tightly and firmly* Good. I'm glad. I want it gone. The only reason, that I don't completely erase the memories with a pensieve or something, is because I don't want to just treat it like it never happened. I want to live with it and move on from it, take lessons from what it taught me without it defining me. I don't need to bury it or pretend it doesn't exist; I'm stronger than that. I want it and every horrible feeling that I don't matter gone with it, because I do matter. I matter a hell of a lot actually. *pinks and pulls back, blinking* Edited by Abi Noel-Carter, Nov 9 2010, 06:27 PM.
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| Caleb Silverhawk | Dec 12 2010, 06:56 AM Post #6 |
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After Jana had left that day, she had left Caleb with quite a bit to think about. The thing was, he couldn't deny anything she was saying as illogical. It was all very logical. Perhaps if she had stuck around in the office with him and continued to have the discussion, he could have found reasons and ways to counter her points. But what she left him with was a very logical progression of thoughts that left him with the confusing questions as to why he was so against letting the law call it a marriage. Instead of Jana trying to prove why he should be all for homosexual marriage, she had instead asked, "Why not?" And that seemed to be the missing link. As much as Caleb had tried to go about his day after that (even with Cat constantly popping in and out of his office for the rest of the afternoon, looking quite pleased), it had stayed on his mind. It had stayed on his mind to the point that, when he was leaving the (deserted by then, as usual) Ministry, he decided to go to Jana's that night. She was, as he suspected, at her flat in Italy, and when he opened the door, he almost gave a start and thought he walked into the wrong apartment. But he quickly recovered and realized that no, that was Jana, only she.... had turned blonde somewhere over the course of the past few hours. "Your hair. It's... it's really different." It was only after he came out with that oh-so-brilliant statement that he realized it might not be the most favored of reactions. "I like it," he was sure to add right after that. "I really like it." And he did. The change suited her in a way he couldn't exactly describe. He finished coming in the door, shutting it behind him and going over to sit next to her on the couch. He wasn't quite sure how to approach conversation with her after the way they'd left things earlier in the day. "What are you working on?" |
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| Jana Rivers | Dec 12 2010, 07:15 AM Post #7 |
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After Jana had walked out (purposefully ignoring the gleeful smirk Catalina had offered her), she had not been entirely sure where to go. Part of her wanted to chase down Hunter and explain, but she didn't know where he would go--and besides, he clearly needed to cool off. She had started walking, cooling off herself as her thoughts rambled themselves out in a circle internally, before she had found that she was outside another member of the Wizengamot's office. After taking a moment, she decidedly went in. An hour later she had walked out with a binder a cheery smile on her face: he'd said yes. That might have only been one vote--and one she honestly probably could already have counted on--but it cheered her anyway. The other thing she'd left the office with? A mission. By the time she was Floo'ing home the binder was stuffed. Of course the moment she'd entered the room, she spied the hair dye she'd left sitting on her desk and blinked. A moment later, her binder had replaced the hair dye and she had vanished into her bathroom. When she emerged, she was blond. As her door was opened, Jana looked up for a moment, even though she expected it to be Caleb (as he was the only one she'd given a key). It was a habit burned into her due to a memory of fear; a memory she decided against thinking about and looked back at her binder a moment later. There was a moment of silence before he was speaking. Her lips twitched into a soft smile at her binder at his words. Oh god damn him. She was still mad. She was still hurt. But at that moment, she just couldn't help but laugh under her breath. She pressed her hands to her lips. Giggling into her palm for a heartbeat, she shut her eyes and then bit her bottom lip. Her reading glasses still perched on her nose, she murmured, "Observant." And her lips twitched again. Of course as he moved to sit next to her, she stiffened only slightly and then laid her pen down on the top of the binder, moving the pen cap in a small circle atop the vinyl. "A flow chart." She looked at him sideways. "It's a list of members of the Wizengamot. The red chairs are the opposition, the green are those who already would vote for the law, and the purple is those who will." The purple was in honor of Hunter himself. She presumed he'd notice that his own chair on her chart was actually silver, but she ignored that for the time being. Edited by Jana Rivers, Dec 12 2010, 07:24 AM.
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![]() hold on, {hold tight}, make it through another night... & every day, there comes a sun, with the d a w n . . . {{there is a light in your eyes}} | |
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| Caleb Silverhawk | Dec 12 2010, 07:58 AM Post #8 |
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Well, at least his failure to react very well to her hair color change had prompted a laugh. He'd seen it despite her trying to hide it, which, in turn, made him smile. "I try." There wasn't much else he could say in response to the almost flippant remark of his observational skills. He noticed her slight reaction just to him sitting down next to her, but she wasn't getting up or making him get up, which he considered a minor victory. At least she wasn't that mad at him for their earlier disagreement. "A...flow chart." He looked over. Sure enough, Jana was already working on getting things changed based on that conversation with Hunter earlier. He should have known. He really, really should have. Yet somehow, it actually surprised him just a little. "So you're really determined to do this, then." Another quality observation on his part, he was sure. He glanced around at what she had there. The largest group was the purple, which didn't surprise him. Jana was being somewhat of an optimist, though, in deciding how many people would come around to vote for this. "Do you know how much compromising that looks like to me?" he asked. If they did go that route and tried to get this passed, chances were those who were flagged purple would want something in return, and that could get dangerous. And then--because he was on such a roll with this observation thing--he noticed, "You don't have me flagged under any of those colors." Interesting. "Why?" |
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| Jana Rivers | Dec 12 2010, 08:14 AM Post #9 |
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"And clearly, you succeed." Jana still wasn't looking at him as she said this. Her rebuttal was almost unconscious, spoken quickly and she uncapped her pen again, only half-listening to him state out loud what she'd just said. She was too used to that to bother even pointing it out; if he needed to restate her, that was fine by her. In fact, she even liked it, as it was one way of validating her points. She tilted her head, flipping her newly blond hair sideways as he looked over and bit her bottom lip again waiting. At his remark, her eyebrow arched with surprise and she turned to look at him again. "Did you think I was kidding?" Though that remark might have been considered judgmental, she spoke only with surprise and a light tease, before looking right back down at her work. There was a pause. He was looking back again, as her pen was doodling mindlessly in the corner, and her eyes lifted to watch him take her work in again. "I know exactly how much that looks like compromise actually." Jana's lips twitched again into an unconscious smile. "Looks like thirty-two. Eleven people have no problem saying yes already, and six people you couldn't give them a million Galleons to say yes." Then she paused through the technical read out and looked up again. "Of course that's only forty-nine members. The last is you." Propping her chin up on her hand as she looked at him with his last question, she spun the pen delicately between her fingers, tilting her head. "You're special." Her brow wiggled for a moment, not offering another reason for his different color than that for a few moments of smiling at him. "To me." And her lips twitched, before she relented and explained, "You call the vote to the floor in addition to voting, which means technically speaking it's not so much a question of convincing you to say yes, but also convincing you to schedule the vote." She let a beat fall while she looked at him, now not minding at all that he was that close and adding, "And just what is wrong with compromise anyway? Heart and soul of a democratic body if you ask me. Sure some will want something in return. But." And now she put her hand on his shoulder, turning slightly on the couch, "Don't underestimate my ability to argue the point either." And she smiled. Edited by Jana Rivers, Dec 12 2010, 08:15 AM.
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| Caleb Silverhawk | Dec 12 2010, 08:44 AM Post #10 |
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It was interesting. Usually Caleb could tell when Jana was mad at him, or he could at least get a really clear feel for her moods. This time, however, he wasn't sure. That not being sure was really interesting to him, and without being sure, he didn't know quite how to proceed. He was just going to hope for the best, he supposed. "No. I didn't think you were kidding at all," Caleb answered honestly. He was glad her tone was so lighthearted, and it made him respond in kind. There was really no part of him that could actually be surprised at that. When Jana wanted to do something, she went after it until she could make it happen. It just so happened that this time, as his campaign manager, she was in a very good position to start trying to make things happen. "Thirty-two?" he echoed her, his gaze traveling over the color-coded chart. "That's... a lot." But there were already eleven who were agreeing and only six definite refusals on the chart. "What are their positions now?" he asked, getting drawn in in spite of himself. He was the unflagged, "special" marking on the chart. While it was true, he did call them to vote and he would be the one who would have to schedule it, that still brought it back around to the fact that it all depended on him, which was the subject of the conversation earlier that afternoon. It was the subject he'd been thinking about. "Oh, I don't underestimate you at all," Caleb replied, a small grin playing at his lips. He liked debating with her. He liked that she could keep up with him and make him think. He also had learned quite a long time ago that it would be a big mistake to ever underestimate her. "Although I do have to point out that we're not, actually, a democratic body." Yes, he had to throw that in there just because it was the one point of hers that he could find cause to disagree with. "But otherwise you're right: there's nothing wrong with compromise. And I was thinking about what you said earlier," he added. "When you asked me why shouldn't we do it?" He paused. "It made me think about that. A lot, actually. And I guess... I suppose there would be nothing wrong with calling it--" He paused and sighed. "Look. I know you might not understand this, but this is difficult for me in a way that I'm not even sure I understand. It's just... the way I grew up, this sort of thing not only didn't happen; it just... wasn't even a concern." He wasn't sure what else to say on the matter, so he fell silent. Edited by Caleb Silverhawk, Dec 12 2010, 08:44 AM.
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| Jana Rivers | Dec 12 2010, 09:12 AM Post #11 |
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Clearly, it had been the right decision of hers to simply leave earlier that day. If she'd stayed, they were going to drag each other down in that angry disconnect and argue technicalities until the sky turned black. Of that she was sure. Seeing as how they'd done it before. Instead, they had both calmed down. Or at least he had, and she had moved on with the plan she'd told Hunter she would pursue regardless of what Caleb said. Typical. "I wasn't." She answered as honestly as he did, her tone still light. "I think this issue is...important." That went without saying actually, considering their disagreement still hung between them. It hadn't evaporated; they were just discussing it in a manner that could cause something could change now. Her smile flicked for a second at his classification of 'a lot' and she returned, "More than thirty-one. But it's less than thirty-three." He was such a fan of technicalities after all. "Most of them? I don't know yet. I want to ask them in person, not over an owl. Some of them I have past quotes and speeches from in here--" She tapped the binder with her pen. "--so that I can get a better idea of where they stand already of course. Most of them I don't think have ever heard a case on it though, so I'm bringing up their stances on other forms of discrimination." She paused however, as he grinned back at her. At least he knew that much, she thought as her own small smile played on her lips in return. She didn't exactly underestimate him either. A moment later, she found herself laughing again in spite of it all. "Of course you have to point that out." She shook her head, the hand on her shoulder nudging him gently. "Because you're stubborn. And incredibly technical." And he was also right about that, but she figured he knew that without her having to say it. As he paused however, she fell silent and looked at him as evenly as she had that afternoon. Her hand softened it's grip as she listened, not entirely sure she was breathing for a moment. She started to smile as he started to agree with her earlier point-- --and then she let out a sigh as he cut himself right off again and her lips pressed together, and wrinkled. Of course. He sighed himself, and she shook her head again. Well. At least now they were getting somewhere. And at least he said he was thinking. "I do get that, actually." She said it softly, not moving. "You weren't exposed to this. You weren't exposed to a lot of things that your family," She couldn't help but pause as she mentioned his family, knowing that subject wasn't easy for either of them in truth, and so she generalized a moment later, "and others around you deemed as unnatural...or things they'd rather pretend didn't exist." Jana arched her brow. "Like me, for example." Then she paused and let out a sigh of her own, her shoulders relaxing. She leaned back against the couch cushion, lifting her legs to tuck beneath her so she swiveled to be almost facing him. "But I'm not the only example, Caleb." She said it pointedly. "Muggleborn rights aren't the only ones out there that need fighting for. Discrimination exists in literally all shapes and sizes. Homosexuals face persecution a lot worse than just...the right to call their union a marriage. Hunter's been facing his whole life an onslaught of insults, misunderstandings, and I... mean merlin that's not the worst of what it could be; hate-crimes are as rampant for homosexuals as they are for Muggleborns. Or werewolves. Or goblins. Or house-elves, or half-giants, or..." She still hadn't moved her hand, but she realized a moment later she'd started to squeeze his shoulder in her indignation. Oops. Jana took a breath. "The point is that the attitude of treating someone, another race or just someone with a different sexual orientation, as different than yourself starts off with something as benign as terminology. But it ends up, very easily, in places much worse. And that...I happen to already be aware you don't agree with and with things you'd never do." She paused. "And when you only fight the...worst, and ignore things such as terminology--write them off as not mattering? The problem gets institutionalized. And these smaller things...merlin, do they add up." Edited by Jana Rivers, Dec 12 2010, 09:16 AM.
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| Caleb Silverhawk | Dec 12 2010, 09:40 AM Post #12 |
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Chief of Wizengamot
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Caleb nodded to her first point because he could see that it was clearly important to her. It was important to Hunter. It was probably important to those eleven people who would say yes. Hell, it was probably important (albeit in a very different way) to those six who would vehemently say no. Where was he on the issue? Until that day, he would have been content to say "neutral," but then someone had come to him and asked him to pick his side. And then, of course, Jana made it a bit difficult to ignore. For that particular moment, he was content to listen to Jana's strategies on how she was going to get this law passed. Her methods were very good, but he already knew that about her. After all, there was a reason she was his campaign manager. She was good at planning and strategizing. That didn't change the fact that she was right about him scheduling the vote. He would have to, and by then, he would have to have taken a stance on it. He ignored the remark on how stubborn and technical he was, knowing that they both knew how true it was. Instead he focused on her response to what he told her about why it was so difficult for him to accept. There were a lot of people, he believed, who wouldn't be ok with the answer he had just given. In fact, if he didn't know her so well, Caleb might have even though that Jana would have been one of them. As it was, her reassurance that she understood where he was coming from meant a lot to him. "You're right," he said. "And I'm glad I got to know you, and started getting past all of that." He fell silent, though, as she continued to talk, pointing out to him that there were a lot more situations in the world that paralleled hers than he hadn't even thought of. There were people out there who got treated the same way Jana did for so long just because of certain aspects of who they were that they couldn't change. He supposed he should have thought of things like this sooner, but the thoughts just hadn't occurred to him. He knew his own feelings on Muggleborns not being any worse than purebloods. And he knew that he believed in rights for werewolves and vampires... "You're right," he said. "It is very, very similar. And the problems do add up. So..." He paused. He had no idea why it was so difficult for him to accept this, but it was proving to be difficult to think about. Still, Jana did have a point. It was a good, logical point. So he said, "I guess I need to call a vote, then." |
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| Jana Rivers | Dec 12 2010, 09:59 AM Post #13 |
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For a few moments, Jana sat in silence, content with just looking at him. Her lighthearted air was beginning to fade as they approached their actual disagreement, but she was softening just the same. He appeared to be struggling. His brow had furrowed, his lips twitched a few times and he had clearly lost himself in thought. She thought for a second that this was as hard for him to accept as if someone had just offered her actual scientific research that muggleborns actually were subhuman to purebloods, but then she remembered Cat had tried that. And had to restrain her eye roll with difficulty. Still. The fact that she could literally see him sit and struggle with the fact that he'd always been content not to take a side on things almost made her smile again. When he pointed out that it had something to do with her, she moved her hand closer to his neck and brushed her finger down his jaw for a moment, still tilting her head. "Well, I'm not going to stop pointing out the flaws in that logic." Her grin was subtle. "But you're still the one changing your mind. And for the record, I'm aware that's not easy, when these are principles they teach as basic fact since you're young." Now her smile widened; she couldn't help it. "If you weren't willing to accept that you could be wrong about something, there wouldn't be much I could do. So, give yourself at least a little credit there." Her finger paused as he lost himself in thought again. Actually, she thought, that was something of a beautiful thing. Prejudiced attitudes were annoyingly ingrained. Watching him struggle and think was...well, she was too biased to actually comment, she thought. Then he spoke. Ha. She'd gotten through to him after all. Content for a few moments to simply let what he'd just said sink in, she brightened and then sat up straighter. "Guess so. I'll let you know when the bill's drafted and I've done a whip count. I can color you green then?" She flicked her hair back over her shoulder, tucking a strand behind her ear as it was in her eyes. There was another pause. It struck her a moment as she stared at the blond strand, that her hair was blond and her lips twitched again. "And you really like my hair?" |
![]() hold on, {hold tight}, make it through another night... & every day, there comes a sun, with the d a w n . . . {{there is a light in your eyes}} | |
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| Caleb Silverhawk | Jan 18 2011, 02:09 AM Post #14 |
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Chief of Wizengamot
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Caleb nodded. He was aware that there were aspects of this and his stance on the situation that were simply just from the way he was raised. But then, wasn't that true of everyone? After all, there were people like him who were raised to be a certain way and believed it, but there were also people who opposed him who were also simply raised to believe what they were. Then the question became who had to bend--who was supposed to bend? In this case, apparently it was him, because Jana had gotten him to think about all of this, and he was actually starting to reconsider. He had listened to what she (and Hunter) had had to say, and then he had started to think about it. Did it make it easier to think about it when he knew that Jana was probably either going to stay mad at him or keep arguing it with him for days? Yeah, that made it easier. But he had actually taken time to think about it, and he realized that she had a point. "All right. I suppose I can give myself a little credit," he allowed. "And yeah, I think you can color me green." He glanced again at her hair and grinned. "And yes, I really do like your hair. Why the change, though?" |
![]() -by Abi
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