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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 14 2007, 04:22 AM (14,013 Views) | |
| Ella Morvanna | Jan 5 2010, 04:56 AM Post #921 |
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"I think we're going to go actually," Ella quipped. With Brad not feeling well that seemed like an ideal option, and they could always talk to Harm another time. Letting go of Brad's hand she got up and went to hug Harm as best she could with Jett still in her arms. "I promise to stay in touch more often." Going back over to Brad she took his hand, glancing at him a second to see that he agreed, and then disapparated them both home. [permission to GM given on IM] |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 04:27 AM Post #922 |
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Hermiting was given an entirely different definition after being stuck basically. It was like forced hermiting and he hardly appreciated it. When they could leave he had taken Beth to Ryder's just to make sure she'd be alright, and then went home. Dante wasn't even sure how long exactly he had been gone. There was the time spent playing whatever twisted game it was, and then the two days he spent at Morvanna Manor. That was inexcusable. Way to break every promise made, which he realized that after the fact as he was walking in and he ran his hands over his face. Despite being tired and a multitude of other things, he just wanted to see Harm and the kids. He had missed them which made the self-inflected hermiting prior to being swept up by the black smoke ridiculous. Yeah he had been upset and that was reasonable, but the excuse for being upset was not in a wat. That was just full of messy details that he felt guilty for, but it was also like keeping a secret. "Harm?" |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 05:02 AM Post #923 |
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Harm had been in the bathroom washing her face when she heard the door open, and hastily wiping her face on the towel, she fled down the stairs in her pajamas with her hair swept back in a bun. Seeing that it was Dante, she sighed in relief, stopping right before him, her eyes frantically looking him up and down to make sure he was okay. "Are you okay? Where have you been?" Well, maybe the questions weren't the most wanted at the moment, but what was she supposed to be reacting as? He'd seem to draw back from her, and then disappeared for nine days, She didn't know where he was, no one else seemed to know where he was...she'd been alternately terrified, hurt, and worried all week. |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 05:09 AM Post #924 |
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Seeing Harm, Dante neglected if she'd not be very happy with him after the fact and hugged her close for a few moments before he answered anything. "I'm fine." Besides the non injury type things anyways. "I...well the easier one to explain and the first place would be Morvanna manor. I was upset about some stuff and I just hid out. I know, completely broke my promise." He sighed and contemplated how to explain the castle. He wasn't sure what had happened between the time he got stuck in the card and the end anyways so there wasn't a whole lot to say. "The second wasn't by choice. Call it karma but I got stuck in someone's idea of a fun game. There was a bunch of other people and tarot cards from hell basically. I don't know a lot because I got stuck in one of those cards and the next thing I knew I was outside again and allowed to leave." |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 05:28 AM Post #925 |
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Harm sighed as he pulled her into his arms, and wrapped her arms around him as well for as long as he was holding onto her, but when he pulled back, she crossed her arms to listen to his explanation. There was always some kind of excuse, of course, but the truth was, a lot of the time? He just disappeared. Hearing that he'd gone to the Morvanna manor made her look up at the ceiling, clenching her jaw for a moment as she just tried to breathe. "I'm extremely relieved you're fine. But...Look, Dante, You can't...you really can't just do this. You can't up and leave. You are a father. Of four, children, all who need you to be here! I need you to be here, for god's sake we have newborn twins. I can't do it all by myself and when you just take off like that, I don't know where you are. I don't know if you're hurt, or if you're running away from me, or what the hell you're doing. What the hell am I supposed to keep telling Angel when you disappear? She wants to know where you are and I have to lie to her because I don't know!" She'd returned her gaze to him, her eyebrows furrowing when he went on to tell her that he was taken into another one of those games. Payback, of some sort? Hearing that he got stuck in one of the cards just frustrated her. It sounded unlikely. It sounded unrealistic. However, she did know how some things went, and so she accepted it as the truth. "Well I'm glad you didn't get hurt and you're okay." She finally responded, quietly. |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 05:38 AM Post #926 |
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Dante knew he deserved getting yelled at it. Promises or not he did still disappeared when he chose to and he never really thought about it. It was almost habit, but it was also excuse after excuse and he didn't blame her for being upset. "I know. I know I broke my promise and it's just excuse after lame excuse and you're right; you shouldn't have to put up with that. I'm not running away from you but I don't always tell you because I'm afraid to tell you. I don't want to stress you out or upset you, but I'm doing that anyways." Thinking about it then, where had he been? Even before speaking to Anna and hiding out in Morvanna manor there were the random outings that he hadn't even thought about. There wasn't an excuse to any of it that made it okay for him to not be there and not helping to take care of the kids. He had stayed in a lot on purpose because he knew she couldn't do it alone, but he had left a few times despite it. "I've seen Sam and then I went to talk to Anna. After that I was at Morvanna manor and then I got taken for that stupid game." Being honest was probably the best route to go which meant he'd have to explain the Anna situation for lack of a better way to put it. That didn't seem like such an easy thing to do at all. |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 05:52 AM Post #927 |
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Harm just looked at him when he told her that he was scared of telling her that he was going somewhere or feeling something because he didn't, basically, want to bother her. She had to bite her cheeks, the instant hurt that hadn't been there so strongly flooding through her system. "I'm your wife." She told him, softly. "We're supposed to be together for better and for worse, right? When you disappear, Dante, all I can think of...all I can think of is when you came back after your cruise thing. I hear you telling me again that you'd been having an affair with a woman that looked like Sam. Not even was her, but looked like her. I don't think you even understand what that did to me, because you were going through something and I needed to be there for you. And then you married me. It makes me feel like... like our marriage was just supposed to be some kind of a... a fix. A desperate attempt to... save, our relationship. Do you even want to be doing this with me? I know you love the children; that's obvious. But do you even want to be married? Do you want to be in a relationship at all?" Hearing that he had gone to see Sam, of all people, and then Anna when he'd left their house to stay away only made her assumptions worse. |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 06:05 AM Post #928 |
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Dante had assumed that she hadn't entirely forgiven him for what had happened with Silver and her words proved that. He didn't blame her at all. She had every right to be upset with him and he knew that so he couldn't argue it that way. "For better and for worse," he agreed. Hearing the rest though did hurt. Like saying everything he had said didn't have any worth or meaning and it had been said for no reason. He wasn't good at any of it, no, but hell who was? His attempts weren't so good either with the random disappearing, so it was hard to even say he had been trying. He wanted to, but he hadn't and he felt guilty. "I married you because I love you and I couldn't imagine a day where I didn't get to wake up and see you. I didn't do it to fix anything. I married you because I want to be with you and I want this to work, but I've made a lot of mistakes. I...almost made another mistake and there's no excuse for it." Dante had promised to just talk and not to hide out and he had broken both of this. He doubted starting now made up for it, but he could at least try. "I went to talk to Anna after...I took her to some valentines ball. I told her I still love her and I do, but it's not like I love you. I was engaged to her, Harm, and then she left because she always leaves and nobody could forget something like that. But she was a better person than me for telling me no." |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 06:28 AM Post #929 |
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Harmony listened to him tell her that he did love her, and he did want to marry her. They may have been empty words, but they did make her feel better. Or at least, they did until he said he made another mistake. Then her stomach just dropped completely, making her feel extremely sick. When he explained that he had disappeared on Valentine's day to take Anna, one of her best friends, to a ball, and then that he was basically still caught up on her? Harm turned away, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. Again. Even if Anna told him no...it was just...happening again. And this time? It was because he had been engaged to her. He loved Sam; he cheated on her with a Sam-look-alike. He had been engaged to Anna, he went to cheat on her again. How was she supposed to feel about that? Like it was okay because Anna had been there first? That it was okay because he had no closure? He should have even attempted a relationship with her if he still wanted Anna. She didn't want to be second best. She didn't want to be the back up. She needed a minute to collect herself, control herself to the point that she would be able to talk to him. Problem was, the second she looked up, the tears did come. "What did I do wrong?" Her lashes lowered, trying to breathe deeply, her voice cracking. "What happened? Is it because I'm a vampire? Because I'm out of shape because of the babies? Am I not giving you enough attention? Why am I not good enough for you? What did I do to deserve this, Dante? Tell me what I did to make you do this to me. Please, tell me what I did wrong!" |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 06:44 AM Post #930 |
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There was absolutely nothing that he could do to make her feel better and he knew that and he felt awful for it. He had let her down countless times and it wasn't fair. She didn't deserve it at all. How things had started and how things were now was a drastic change and he didn't quite understand how it had gotten that way. His first thought was it had started from the ship incident and it seemed to get worse from then on. Dante felt like his heart sank when Harm turned back and she was in tears. That was his fault and it was a horrible feeling. He shouldn't be responsible for making her feel that bad and automatically he reached out to take her hand but then thought better of it and dropped it uselessly at his side. "You didn't do anything wrong. Don't...don't think that. I hate that I've hurt you so much. None of it is your fault, Harm. I don't know why I did any of it. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyways and that makes me no better than the people I tried for years to get away from." Pausing he added quietly, "I don't know what happened but I want to fix it." |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 07:08 AM Post #931 |
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He'd reached for her. He'd actually reached for her, and she looked at his hand as he dropped it back against his side. Actions speak louder than words, right? Right then it just proved to her just how much of wall was between them right there at that moment. He wouldn't touch her, just like he wouldn't talk to her about what was going on with him. "Clearly I did or you wouldn't be looking at your old girlfriends, fiancees, whatever. Clearly something isn't right if I'm not good enough and you're looking for company of other women. I don't know why you did it either. I don't understand. If you don't know why you did it and I don't know why you did it, then how do we fix it? How do we even know what to fix?" How many times had just just forgiven him and moved on? It was literally making her heart hurt. She believed the questions that she asked him. She did think like that even if he told her not to. How could she not? He wasn't giving her a logical answer because he didn't know either. All she could do was assume, and that was getting her nowhere. |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 07:19 AM Post #932 |
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"I don't know. We just figure it out and we fix it. I don't want to lose you and that probably means absolutely nothing because of the crap I've put you through but it's true. I've screwed up too many times and I'll take the blame for it." Dante wasn't sure what to say or what it was. There was no excuse for any of it and he felt horrible, but that wasn't going to fix any of it. "I just...I don't know what's wrong in my head and that's the problem." Hell if he couldn't figure himself out than how could he expect her to? |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 07:25 AM Post #933 |
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Harm really wasn't sure why she was still listening to him. She wasn't sure why she was standing there, letting every word cut through her instead of just going to her kids and leaving. People had left for much less, and yet, she loved him. He was her life. She didn't know how to be anything without being a Morvanna wife. Without being a wife and a stay-at-home mom. The option may have passed through her mind, but she was frozen. Stuck there. For a moment she was silent. He said he'd take the blame, but he was right; that didn't mean much to her. She hadn't been the one going off and cheating. She hadn't been finding old loves, or disappearing. She didn't have that luxury. She had children. "If Anna would have said yes, Dante, what would have happened? I want the truth, not what you think I want to hear." |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 07:33 AM Post #934 |
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Dante was quiet after Harm had asked. She wanted him to be honest but honestly hadn't he dug himself a deep enough hole? But she wanted him to be honest and lying would only make it worse. "We would have kept it a secret. Just...made something up if someone asked." It wasn't easy to admit that, no, but he didn't want to make up another lie about something else yet again. Did it make it any better? Of course not. |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 07:48 AM Post #935 |
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The longer the silence went on, the more she already knew the answer. She nodded, closing her eyes again against the onslaught of tears. When he finally said it out loud, she barely made any other reaction. It'd been what she expected, of course. Another secret affair until things went wrong and then he would either not tell her or come back like this. She supposed she should have been grateful that she was finding out now, before things started, but at the same time...he'd still had the thought, and the want. So much, that he'd actually tried to initiate it. "So if she hadn't said no, you wouldn't be standing here trying to fix things with me." Her head was spinning, just, utterly at loss as to what to do. "I don't know what to say." She mumbled, running a hand through her hair. "Honestly, if we didn't have children I would not be standing here right now. I can't...just..." She had to...stop reeling, to be able to even figure out how to think past the shocked hurt. |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 07:58 AM Post #936 |
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Dante didn't need to answer the first because he knew she already knew the answer to that. He wasn't any better than them was he? He had murdered people on the ship and merlin he hadn't even told Harm about the mirror images he helped make and hide only for his siblings to use. All that running and he hadn't even gotten anywhere and he hadn't noticed it till now. And in the middle of all the mess of him attempting to figure himself out was Harm. He hadn't mean it for it to end up as it was, and yet he made the mistakes that put him right into that situation. Hearing her comment though hit hard and he looked away from her. "I want this to work," he said. "But I think I have to figure out me first. I thought I could just get away from home and then not turn out just like them but I have in a lot of horrible ways. From people I've killed to the things I've done lately...it's not fair to you. I don't know if that's the problem but it's a start." |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 08:12 AM Post #937 |
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"You want this to work because I'm the only one left." Harm phrased it as a statement, but she wasn't so sure she wanted to believe that. Not just left. She may have just taken a huge blow to what little self-esteem she had left, but she really didn't want to believe that he was just settling on her. It sounded like he was having a midlife crisis, honestly, but how did one even get through that? She could be self-sacrificing. She could forgive him again, go on like nothing had a lasting effect on her. She could go on playing the perfect little housewife and trophy mom, of course. She'd done it once, and suppressing it had pushed it away with how busy she was taking care of their kids. And then, the next time it happened...she could start a trend. That would be comparable to just giving up everything she was and being a possession, not a person. "Then maybe you need to find yourself." She said, wiping her cheeks hastily as she looked back at him. "But not in other women." |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 08:21 AM Post #938 |
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"I want this to work because I love you. Because I couldn't imagine losing you and I've been a total idiot and I just want to fix this." Whatever had to be fixed he'd fix it. Whatever had to be done he'd do it. He couldn't imagine losing her and the kids and just losing everything. He had practically fought to get where he was, or had been at least, and yet it was falling apart. The idea of ending up where he started did scare him. It hardly mattered how much it'd hurt him when he knew how much it'd hurt her. Not to mention how much he had managed to hurt her already before he even realized it. "You don't deserve this, Harm. I'm sorry even if sorry doesn't cut it." |
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| Harmony Lopiparo | Mar 9 2010, 08:29 AM Post #939 |
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I love you, I love you, I love you. Every time he said it, it was like a blow to her stomach. She couldn't breathe, just thinking about it. Did it mean the same thing? How do you even define love? How long ago had there been a time when her entire day brightened just hearing it? Now it just hurt. Now, it was like some kind of hidden agony. It'd almost be easier if he'd said that he didn't want her. That he'd just married her because she was pregnant with his sons. Then at least it could have been cold turkey, and there wouldn't be this ripping, stranded thing holding them together. The rings on her fingers? She'd upheld them. She'd not looked at any other man. She not wanted anything but being married, and having a family, and just feeling like for once, things were right in her life. They hadn't even been married a year yet, and things were already in pieces. Before she could start crying again, Harm ran a hand over her face and took a shuddering breath, her voice resigned and empty when she spoke again. "Sorry doesn't take back what has happened. But nothing's going to be resolved now. There won't be some instant fix. You should probably get some sleep, I'm sure you're exhausted from that tarot thing." |
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| Dante Morvanna | Mar 9 2010, 08:38 AM Post #940 |
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"Then what are we going to do, Harm?" Dante was neglecting the comment about sleep for the moment. He was tired, yes, but the conversation was more important than sleeping off the last week. He wasn't so sure she even believed him about it and he didn't blame her if she didn't. It probably just sounded like yet another excuse for being out. He hadn't even wanted to be there, but then again he probably would have spent the same amount of time at Morvanna manor only to come home and this to happen; maybe just in another way. |
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