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On The Roof Of Montmartre
Topic Started: Nov 9 2007, 05:58 AM (815 Views)
Tyler Rubin
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[^ the amazing lynx]


[size=1]Tyler stayed stock still as he really wasn't sure how he'd even gotten there. The idea that he a son was frightening enough. The fact that Lucas's mother was Bridgette? Downright horrifying. What was he supposed to do? Leave Lynx? Or ignore his son?

Both seemed utterly impossible to him.

And so, he had walked. He had walked to the end of the street outside Joan of Arc's cathedral, and when he'd reached there, he'd turned the corner and walked to the end of that street, where he turned again, and walked to what felt like the end of the city.

He'd walked a long way, down dusty roads, and past what was clearly a train, until his weary feet had lead him to Paris, and from there, this cathedral but intricately designed metal building of Monmartre, that had been far too easy to climb up to the roof on so that he once more sat looking out at the night sky with his untidy black hair blowing in the wind gently. Just the simple amount of steps had exhausted him, without adding the entire journey, but he felt strangely numb to the whole thing.[/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]Lynx finally found Tyler after he had stopped walking...all the way in Paris. He was up at Montmartre, apparently enjoyng an even higher view of the city than was already provided by the hill by sitting on the cathedral.

She gently approached him and sat beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Tyler...are you ok?" she asked softly, a bit concerned.

Maybe it was a stupid question, but it was a leeway into an actual conversation.[/size]
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[credit Meredith]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] Completely unsurprised that Lynx had found him, what with their connection now, Tyler still proceeded to gently turn his head so he didn't have to look at her while he thought such awfully confusing thoughts, but relaxed the shoulder that lay beneath her palm. He even thought he could feel their connection radiating in heatwaves from this small touch, which normally would have caused his heart to race in happiness and excitement, but now merely left him slightly nautious, to know he might have to lose her.

Slowly, he said, "As you took the trouble to find me...I'm assuming Bridgette found you as well?"[/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]"Yeah, she did," Lynx said simply. There was no need to go into detail about their encounter.

"She told me...that she wanted you to go back to France and be with her," she said, hestitating a little as it was a sensitive subject. She wanted to laugh a little at the very idea of Tyler leaving her to go back to his ex girlfriend, but she figured that would be a little inappropriate, given the nature of the situation, so she didn't.

[/size]
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[credit Meredith]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] Tyler gave a short laugh, but it wasn't one of anything humorous. It was one of sorry, and loaded with bitter rue.

"She would focus on that. Did she tell you why? That Lucas is my son?"

He hadn't meant this to come out so brashly, but he wasn't thinking clearly at all. In some cases, he didn't even feel like he was thinking. [/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]Lynx nodded. "Yes, she told me."

She kept her hand on his shoulder, just as a comforting presence, which usually helped even a little. Staying silent for a moment, she wondered what she could possibly say to help him. There wasn't much, so she settled for, "How are you holding up?"[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1]"Bloody awfully." Tyler said without hesitation, still looking out over the large cathedral to the gardens and fields below and around. Carpets of green earth in the darkened sky, and even the tiniest night buterfly appears to capture is intense interest. And yet, he was looking at nothing, for it was moving, sligtly unreal to him.

After a moment, he said in exhasperation,

"I was only just getting comfortable with having a child with the woman I love. How can I possibly be ready to handle one with the woman I never cared for?"

He was thinking outloud, figuring Lynx could feel his emotions now anyways, but just because she could, didn't mean he couldn't rant. [/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]Lynx sighed softly. She wished she had an answer for him. But the sad truth was that she didn't at all. She had no idea what to tell him.

Maybe he just needed to get things out. But, hesitating for a moment, she said mildly, "You can wait a little to decide what you want to do. I mean, I'm sure she knows that, well, it's a huge shock. And you need time to deal with it and get your head around it."

She moved her hand from his shoulder and instead took his hand in her own. "Everything will work out for the best," she told him assuredly.[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] Tyler winced slightly as she moved to hold his hand, squeezing her hand probably all too tightly. Did he even have feelings anymore? All that he could think was that he was either depriving a child of their father, or leaving the woman he loved. How in the world could he choose?

"How can it?" He whispered.

[[OOC: SIL RULES. xD]][/size]



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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]How could it? That was a good question.

"I don't know," she said. "It's a mystery...but it will. I know it will."

She was aware of the fact that he was squeezing her hand very tightly, but she really didn't care much. "There are ways to work situations out for everything. I mean, we were always good at problem-solving. It will just take a little logic, and I'm sure we can work something out," she said encouragingly.[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] For a moment, Tyler was convinced he'd heard, 'it's a my'stry' before, but he let it go, at least, the deja vu feeling. However, far harder to let go was the feeling that no matter how hard they tried, that nothing could work. And it was an overwhelming hopeless sort of feeling.

"Alright. So, problem solve how I can spend time with a son who lives in a different country, and still stay with you, since it actually makes me naucous to think of living with Bridgette."[/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]One particular part of Tyler's words stuck with her more than the others.

"Live with Bridgette?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral. "Was that even an option in your mind?"

she knew he was doing the best he could with the information, but she was still wondering if leaving her was ever even an option in his mind. "You could just ask her to move here," she suggested.[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] Tyler blinked awkwardly, and flicked his eyes up to look at her again, thinking.

"Well, I mean, like I said, it makes me naucous...but yeah, considering that Lucas' is her son...and I'm his father...I was just putting two and two together. And hating it all the way."

He shrugged as he said it, thinking about her second sentance. "And actually, that might work. Though, doesn't she have a job? And a life? And Lucas..he probably has friends.."

Damn, this was ridiculously complicated. [/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]"Well, you don't have to live with her. Maybe you two could just share custody," she suggested.

"Because you definitely can't live with her. I mean...that would just be...." she shuddered.

"It would be wrong," she finished decidedly.[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] Though it stood to reason that Lynx would feel this way about Bridgette, Tyler wasn't focusing on this.

"Wrong for me, most absolutely. But it might be right for my son."

And that was what was terrifying him. He had to be a father? He'd run the second that he'd told Lynx he'd been crushing on her since their third year, and she'd said she loved him. Well, the next day anyway. How could he possibly be a good father? [/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]"But wouldn't it be just as wrong for you to be unhappy and raising your son? It's not like he wouldn't notice you were unhappy with Bridgette," she returned.

Was that what was bothering her? Yes. Well, that and the fact that he'd made her a promise. He'd made her a promise to spend a lifetime with her. Yeah, there had to be some differences allowed given the current situation, but still. He was NOT about to leave her again.

Yet she kept silent about all of this, not wanting to guilt trip him.

Although she did say, "Tyler, you at least owe it to yourself to ask her about some sort of compromise."[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] A compromise? He hadn't been able to come up with one yet. If Bridgette lived nearby, and he and Lynx got married..well while that seemed the best option for him, but he didn't like the idea of his son in a broken home. He knew Lynx had turned out fine, but maybe it was his own stable home situation. The fact that he had a sister in Hogwarts, and a nine year old sister below him, already showing magical signs to, and the fact that him and Anna were so close..would his son ever feel that Ever have that? If he stayed with Lynx, though there was no denying that was what he wanted to, the best he would have is a half-sibling, and he'd move between homes..

It just wasn't the way he'd ever imagined making his son live. He'd always thought that if he was ready for kids, they would be his and Lynx's, and they'd live together, a family. A real, stable, home family. And if he went back to Bridgette, maybe he'd be miserable at first, but maybe , eventually, in like, years, he could be happy. And they could have the real family there.

But even as he argued with himself, he knew that there was just no way he was leaving Lynx unless someone literally pulled himself away, and like, threw him in a bag, and pushed him on a plane or Side Apparition or whatever.

"Maybe." was all he could say. [/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]Lynx couldn't help but arch an eyebrow disdainfully at his reply.

Maybe? What in the name of Merlin did he mean by 'maybe'. If he didn't ask her for a compromise, what would he do? Would he...go with her? No, he wouldn't. He definitely wouldn't.

But Bridgette's words echoed through her mind...would he do "the right thing" - at least, the right thing according to her - and go back with her? Impossible.

Right?

Right. Besides, there were ways to work around this. Lynx knew firsthand that having a so-called "broken home" wasn't always bad. Her divorced parents were proof of that. She could well-remember their fights before they had gotten divorced, and even at a young age, she had understood that they were better off apart.

"And if you didn't ask her about a compromise? What would you do then?" she finally asked.

He's not going to leave me, she had to keep repeating to herself mentally as some sort of reassuring mantra whilst awaiting his answer with baited breath.[/size]
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Tyler Rubin
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[size=1] Tyler was silent for a moment. He knew Lynx had already filled in the blank. Finding himself desperately wishing for some divine sign to show him which way was right, he said quietly,

"Lynx, I just don't know. I don't know! I want whats best for my son, for me...and for you. I couldn't care less about whats right for Bridgette, but she's thrown in simply because she's Lucas's mother...and it sucks, and, I don't know! I just don't know!"

That really was the summary of it all.

[[OOC: *singing* We sang: " I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE GO FROM HERE! This is the alpha, the omega, the begginning, the end. This is the slogan, the anthem, the SUMMARY OF EVENTS!
*huggles her streetlight* ]] [/size]

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..happiness is just outside my window..//would it crash blowing eighty miles an hour?
or is happiness a little more like knocking on your door, & you just let it in?
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Lynx Rubin
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[size=1]Honestly, him being completely and utterly confused was better than what Lynx had thought he might say. She'd thought he might tell her that he'd go back to Bridgette, do the 'noble' or 'right' thing or whatever.

"Look, I don't know if this helps you at all, but my parents used to fight. All the time," she told him. "That was back when they were together. I think I even remember Llian asking for them to get divorced a couple of times...most notably when they asked him what he wanted for Christmas."

She laughed slightly at the memory, though thinking of Llian at all was beginning to elicit a dull ache in her chest.

"And then, when I was four - Gia was two years old, and Llian was six - our parents told us they were getting a divorce. They talked us through everything and why it was happening..."

She paused a little at the memory. "It was different, and I think I might have been a little upset at first, especially when Llian went to live with dad. I mean, we saw each other constantly, and they basically shared custody, but that's not even the point. The point is, they were so much happier. It was easier on all three of us not to have to listen to them fight and bicker and constantly be unhappy."

She shrugged. "I mean, you can do with that information what you will, but I think that Llian, Gia and I turned out fine."

Llian...she said his name again. Had he turned out fine? He did...he k...she couldn't think about it. It just wasn't like him, and if he did, it most likely had nothing to do with the way he was brought up. After all, she and Gia would never even contemplate doing such a thing.[/size]
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