Super Smash Bros Discussion

We have moved! This board is no longer functional!
Please join us at our new forum: http://s1.zetaboards.com/PMF2

Welcome to PMF inc.. We hope you enjoy your visit.

You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.

Join our community!

If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Pages:
1
2

Super Smash Bros Discussion
Topic Started: Mar 23 2008, 11:34 PM (243 Views)
Kal	Apr 18 2008, 03:38 PM Post #21
The one and only Posts: 1,085 Group: Member + Member #638 Joined: May 8, 2006	Nope, however it is slightly close. If you get it I will reveal, however not until the part comes or somebody guesses it.



Ilex	Apr 18 2008, 04:44 PM Post #22
Hillary '08! Posts: 2,126 Group: Administrators Member #370 Joined: September 28, 2005	I really like the concept. But, I think you should include more description and dialogue when writing. Instead of just saying 'Mario did this. Master Hand dodged. Then mario hit him again and defeated him.', I think you should describe the fight more. What does the setting look like? What sounds, smells, and colousr are present when the two are fighting? And also try to use complex and compound sentences than just repetitive simple sentences.



Kal	Apr 19 2008, 08:44 PM Post #23
The one and only Posts: 1,085 Group: Member + Member #638 Joined: May 8, 2006	Thanks for the ideas Ilex. I'll try and implement them while I write the next part.



Ilex	Apr 20 2008, 05:11 AM Post #24
Hillary '08! Posts: 2,126 Group: Administrators Member #370 Joined: September 28, 2005	Wow. What an improvement! I love the description you used, like the smell of rotten flesh. It really helped put a mental image in my mind of what was happening. Keep it up.



Cardiac Hero	Apr 20 2008, 11:05 AM Post #25
We all knew that Oak would go insane Posts: 1,266 Group: Member + Member #998 Joined: March 2, 2007	Just one thing, why is this before Weavel fought with Samus? because I think with his cyborg body he would be a lot stronger then a regular space pirate.



Kal	Apr 20 2008, 12:01 PM Post #26
The one and only Posts: 1,085 Group: Member + Member #638 Joined: May 8, 2006	Thanks Ilex. Also for those who don't know this a stage Eliwood picked. The reason he does not have his cyber form is going to be that basically they go back after the tourney and Weavel and Samus meet up, before she heads to Tallon IV, and she meets up with some Pirates. One being Weavel. He is nearly killed, but he is made into his Cyborb form for Hunters. But he even though he is tonger as a Cyborb he will not be a pushover Pirate. More like the Phazon Elite, compared to regulars.


« Previous Topic · Discussions & Comments · Next Topic »

Pages:
1
2