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News Archive; For the news that will never get old
Topic Started: Jan 7 2009, 03:07 PM (4,601 Views)
CanadianCrippler
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They're beheading sorcerors in Saudi Arabia
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Jawa
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-=cancels trip to Saudi Arabia.....MAGICALLY=-
"SEXYEDDIE" EddieJ1984: i love readun books
"sexyeddie"eddiej1984: Plus i like to stare into her eyes while i fuck her
"TheEyebrow" theeyebrow: when life gives you lemons, jack off into the lemons and eat them
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USCHAMP
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What makes this story so funny is the headline that was on FARK about it:

Quote:
 
Guy from MASK arrested on terror charges w/ pic


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hahahahaaaaaaa


http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/04/02/colorado.mom.terror.case/index.html?hpt=T2


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USCHAMP
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I want to move to California jsut so I can oppose this tax:

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5170125&tt=s


That seems like whoever is supporting/proposing this thing said to themselves, "How can we totally fuck a niche group of farmers and make money at the same time?"

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USCHAMP
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Quote:
 
They're beheading sorcerors in Saudi Arabia



Doesn't he get a SAVING THROW???!#@%$!?#$?

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The Wizard of Goz
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USCHAMP
Apr 3 2010, 04:27 AM
I want to move to California jsut so I can oppose this tax:

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5170125&tt=s


That seems like whoever is supporting/proposing this thing said to themselves, "How can we totally fuck a niche group of farmers and make money at the same time?"
States like CA and NY are so financially broke that they're going to tax the shit out of everything in the coming years. Here in NY they want a tax on any drink that has sugar in it.
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USCHAMP
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Of all the things that struck me about this story, the one that stuck out most in my mind is the fact that THERE IS A DEATH BY FIRING SQUAD SENTENCE IN FUCKING UTAH. What in the fuck?

http://www.aolnews.com/crime/article/victims-father-wants-killer-spared-from-firing-squad/19467335

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TheEyebrow
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/europe/10333211.stm

Quote:
 
Puppy thrown at German biker gang
Wednesday, 16 June 2010

A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.

The man drove up to a Hell's Angels clubhouse near Munich, wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy.

He dropped his shorts and threw the dog, escaping on a bulldozer from a nearby building site.

He was arrested later at home by police. The 26-year-old is said to have stopped taking depression medication.

After making his getaway on the bulldozer, he had driven so slowly that a 5km tailback built up behind him on the motorway.

After driving about 1km, he had abandoned the bulldozer in the middle of the motorway, near Allershausen. He continued his journey by hitchhiking.

"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear," a police spokesman said.

The puppy is now being cared for in an animal shelter.
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TheEyebrow
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Quote:
 
Justin Bieber Drinking Investigation Lacks Cojones
Originally posted Jun 17th 2010

Cops in Maryland hit a local bar this weekend after receiving a call from someone claiming 16-year-old Justin Bieber was inside boozing -- but what they found ... was a woman who looked just like him.

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TMZ spoke with multiple people inside the "Mug and Mallet" bar in Ocean City
who confirm that cops entered on Saturday night looking for an underage drinker with a bowl haircut and a tiny frame.

But the only person who fit that description was a 27-year-old woman named Katie.

Katie tells us she had to whip out ... her ID and prove she wasn't JB -- though she says she gets mistaken for the singer, "all the time!"

If only the cops would've checked the real Bieber's Twitter page -- they would have known he was in The Bahamas with Kim Kardashian.


http://www.tmz.com/2010/06/17/justin-bieber-drinking-cops-maryland-bar-woman-katie-underage-police/
Edited by TheEyebrow, Jun 17 2010, 03:48 PM.
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TheEyebrow
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http://www.sacbee.com/2010/07/28/2919215/police-gun-down-rampaging-pregnant.html

Quote:
 
Police gun down rampaging pregnant cow at California State Fair

In the second bizarre incident at the State Fair in a week, Cal Expo police shot an agitated, pregnant dairy cow that twice escaped her confines and knocked over an officer as she bolted through the fairgrounds Tuesday morning.

Neither the cow nor her calf survived the shooting, which occurred an hour before gates opened to the public.

Ultimately, the roughly 1,200-pound cow became a threat to thousands of employees already abuzz in the fairgrounds, police and veterinary officials said. They agreed she had to be put down after a 1 1/2-hour chase.

"Obviously, we're in a caring profession and the last thing we want to do is see an animal euthanized," said W. David Wilson, director of the veterinary medical teaching hospital at the University of California, Davis, which oversaw the care of the cow.

However, he added, "A very difficult choice had to be made."

About 9:30 a.m. Tuesday, UC Davis veterinarians were delivering the cow to the fairgrounds, where she was expected to give birth to her calf before wide-eyed fairgoers as part of the long-standing Livestock Nursery program.

But the cow became agitated and fled, running about 500 yards toward a tunnel connecting to the midway, said Brian May, deputy general manager of the fair.

Police officers and veterinary officials corralled the cow and penned her in with crowd-control barriers, May said.

He added that veterinarians did not want the cow tranquilized because they feared for the calf's health. But they calmed her some by plying her with food and hay, Wilson said.

An hour later, as officials tried to load her into a trailer, she again became anxious and fled.

Getting desperate, veterinarians agreed to tranquilize the cow. Two attempts failed, and the cow again broke loose from another makeshift pen, knocking over an officer in the process.

At that point, May estimated, several thousand of the fair's 10,000 employees already were setting up shop on the grounds. Proud youngsters were nearby, too, caring for their own livestock on display at the fair.

Officers made the decision to shoot the cow, May said. Wilson said the veterinarians reluctantly agreed.

"Very, very rapid" action possibly could have saved the calf's life, but the circumstances were not conducive to such a surgery, Wilson said.

Lafayette resident Jennifer Nelson and her children were inside Cal Expo to promote water conservation when a security guard alerted them about the loose cow.

From a distance, they could see the cow penned in by vehicles. Then she heard shots – which she assured her children were the sounds of tranquilizer guns.

Nelson, who spent her childhood summers showing sheep and rabbits at the fair, later learned they were not. She then tried to reassure her children in a different way.

"I said, 'Whatever happened, it must have been a difficult decision,' " Nelson said. "This is an organization that isn't going to willy-nilly make the decision to kill an animal if they could get the situation under control some other way."

Nevertheless, "it was just a really sad situation," she said.

Wilson said the cow's behavior was not typical of a pregnant cow, and that that particular animal – as all livestock chosen for the nursery program – had been screened for good disposition.

But any domesticated animal has the potential to react violently when threatened, Wilson said. Cows are no exception.

"If they get into a frenzied situation where they want to escape, they will charge fences, they will charge people," Wilson said. "So people can be badly injured or killed even by a cow."

Wilson described the event as "tragic." But he said it did not make him rethink the Livestock Nursery program, which has been a fair staple for decades.

The program helps fairgoers connect with their food sources and the agricultural world, while also inspiring future generations of veterinarians, he said.

Wilson said he does not suspect that the incident stemmed from any missteps in procedure, but added that officials will review those guidelines to look for improvement. Fair officials promised similar reviews.

The Livestock Nursery program is expected to continue through the duration of the fair, which ends Sunday.

Just days earlier, fair officials were fielding media calls after an equally strange incident: Two armed men – possibly employees of a food vendor – walked into a cash-counting room and left with $100,000 in a bag. They haven't been seen since.
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CanadianCrippler
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Headline: "Mom charged with teaching 2-year-old to smoke pot"

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/09/16/ohio.toking.toddler/index.html
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CanadianCrippler
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Genetically altered fish -- http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/09/20/genetically-modified-salmon/

Along with a poll:

Quote:
 
Would you eat genetically modified salmon?

In a heartbeat 15.74% (5,026 votes)
If the FDA approves it, I guess it's okay 10.9% (3,480 votes)
I'll wait a while and see how people fare 21.72% (6,937 votes)
In a pinch 5.11% (1,633 votes)
Not on your life 46.54% (14,865 votes)

Total Votes: 31,941

I don't eat any type of fish, but I don't see why people are voting so heavily against this. Also I thought the 'enviropig' mentioned in the article sounded neat. Iowa could use a few'a those.
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CanadianCrippler
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Not something I bring up in NM, but something I speak on quite frequently: The misconceptions about sports drinks and how they're marketed towards children/teens -- http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/09/27/health.sports.drinks.teens/index.html?hpt=Mid

Every parent I speak to seems to believe children can survive on gummy snacks and sports drinks alone. Get a fucking clue America!
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Gandy
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-11416654
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TheEyebrow
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Courtesy of DD:

http://www.suntimes.com/news/elections/2801976,CST-NWS-whitney14.article

Quote:
 
SPRINGFIELD -- The last name of Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney is misspelled as "Whitey" on electronic-voting machines in nearly two dozen wards -- about half in predominantly African-American areas -- and election officials said Wednesday the problem cannot be corrected by Election Day.



Go Rich Whitey!
Edited by TheEyebrow, Oct 15 2010, 02:08 PM.
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TheEyebrow
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http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/crocodile-on-a-plane-kills-19/story-e6frfq80-1225942045322

Quote:
 
A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew.

The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.

A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house.

A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.

Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.
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Jawa
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TheEyebrow
Oct 23 2010, 09:38 PM
http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/crocodile-on-a-plane-kills-19/story-e6frfq80-1225942045322

Quote:
 
A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew.

The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.

A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house.

A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.

Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.
That story sounds like a croc to me!
"SEXYEDDIE" EddieJ1984: i love readun books
"sexyeddie"eddiej1984: Plus i like to stare into her eyes while i fuck her
"TheEyebrow" theeyebrow: when life gives you lemons, jack off into the lemons and eat them
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CanadianCrippler
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http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/10/21/customer.tackles.gunman/index.html?hpt=Sbin

I laughed so hard when some random guy handed a phone to the dude using the "WWE" choke.
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Gandy
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Jawa
Oct 24 2010, 08:53 AM
TheEyebrow
Oct 23 2010, 09:38 PM
http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/crocodile-on-a-plane-kills-19/story-e6frfq80-1225942045322

Quote:
 
A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew.

The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.

A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house.

A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.

Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.
That story sounds like a croc to me!
I saw this article on gawker, but my initial reaction + the comments I read convinced me that there is no way this story is true. Not reported anywhere else- conveniently no real relevant people to interview- total BS
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CanadianCrippler
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I'm not clear on the details surrounding this Notre Dame student's death, otherwise I'd start a new thread. Either way, here's something written by another student about scissor lifts and filming practices. Good read.

The Day I Thought I'd Die On A Scissor Lift: What It's Like To Do The Job That Killed Declan Sullivan

http://deadspin.com/5676666/
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