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| The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 8 2007, 08:16 AM (526 Views) | |
| LordJimmy | Jan 8 2007, 08:16 AM Post #1 |
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SMAAAASHH!!
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A modest review. I am a Playstation fanboy. I have a slight delusion that FFVII is the best game ever and stuff like that. Either way, I have been pestered for about forever to play this game, so I did, Of course, I wasn't going to enjoy it. Me and my little grudge means I have to hate this game for no reason at all. I hate this game. Combat is frustrating and boring, though I will not elaborate on this and will slyly leave out the part where it takes up a whole cumalative 5 minutes of the entire game. Oh, and I have to complain about scrounging around for rupees too. I spent in excess of 50 hours finding rupees when there are only 2 definite moments in the game where you actually need a large amount on the spot. I'll also forget to note you can max out 500 rupees in less than a minute using the pot room in the market. How am I going to take apart the dungeons? Oh yeah, how about I complain about backtracking? Okay then, I will complain that I spend upwards of two hours scourging dungeons for that key I missed not because it was put in a hard to notice place, but becuase I wasn't paying attention. I'll also forget about the compass because that would show me where the key is so I can find it in two seconds. I'll also say that all you do is go in a dungeon, find some keys, open a door, get the item, use it to get the boss key and use it to beat the boss. This is pretty much true, but I'll leave out the sheer amount of content on this staple and the amount of stuff you do because that would make the game sound good. Now here's the part where I try not to make my review sound utterly biased and hateful. I'm going to complement the Graphics and Music and say they're good and a lot of effort were put in them and that they were a waste even though it's obvious I'm pulling crap from my ass to cover up the crap I've already pulled out. Now I'm going to evaluate the lifespan. But instead of commenting on how long the game is, how many sidequests it has, and how replayable it is, I'm simply going to sit there and whine about how I lost interest two seconds into the game and and how there is no reason to play this game in the first place. *insert snarly comment of fanboys and overratedness* 0/10 |
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| Mr.Munchy | Jan 8 2007, 08:23 AM Post #2 |
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OLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!1one!
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Gold Star. I'll vote for you for review of the month. I epically liked the part where you said stuff about other stuff.
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![]() Goals: To continue Being A Jerk On NF | |
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| Dreamcat | Jan 8 2007, 08:55 AM Post #3 |
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NF's Fire Emblem Guru
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Sadly, I must agree with you...personally, I didn't like the game that much either. |
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| Divisible by Waffle | Jan 8 2007, 09:44 AM Post #4 |
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Reticulating Spline
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I stopped reading at "I have a slight delusion that Final Fantasy VII is the best game ever." Take Final Fantasy VI. Severely water down the storyline, and give it the worst possible 3D graphics. Insert a few pretty cutscenes. Add a few boring minigames. Put dumb characters in. Hello, Final Fantasy VII. |
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Ten thousand Swedes crept through the weeds, With one Norwegian following after, The dust from the weeds killed the Swedes, And the Norwegian died of laughter. | |
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| LordJimmy | Jan 8 2007, 09:57 AM Post #5 |
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SMAAAASHH!!
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I like it how you didn't say anything about the gameplay. |
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| Mr.Munchy | Jan 8 2007, 10:10 AM Post #6 |
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OLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!1one!
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I'm going to agree that FF6 was a better game but I would not say the plot for FF7 was watered down or the characters are "dumb" they seemed inteligent... well most of them. And yes the game play is nice I was not a big fan of the way they did magic but they tried. |
![]() Goals: To continue Being A Jerk On NF | |
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| Divisible by Waffle | Jan 8 2007, 06:48 PM Post #7 |
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Reticulating Spline
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I was in a bit of a hurry. And besides; it wasn't even meant as a serious review. Wait, yours was a joke, right? |
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Ten thousand Swedes crept through the weeds, With one Norwegian following after, The dust from the weeds killed the Swedes, And the Norwegian died of laughter. | |
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| shadow link 2 | Jan 8 2007, 09:09 PM Post #8 |
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***NF News Fan Fic Writer***
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*goes to look for a picture to post* |
![]() ultamate two-man team ![]()
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| Divisible by Waffle | Jan 8 2007, 09:17 PM Post #9 |
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Reticulating Spline
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I attempted to employ a degree sarcasm, to show how ineffective fanboy reviews are. See, it was kind of an attempt to make a witty retort to the topic. Oh well. If you want my real opinion on FFVII, it was a mediocre game (gameplay-wise) with an OK story, and characters that annoyed me slightly. Though I'm mostly thinking of Aeris and Yuffie; Cait Sith is one of my favorite Final Fantasy characters. If I could get a giant stuffed toy of him to snuggle with every night, my life would be complete. The gameplay just felt lame and recycled after awhile, though I may simply feel this way because I was paid $20 to get the Golden Chocobo and all the Master Materia for my brother. What a ripoff. Golden Chocobo's easy, but the Master Materia is a bitch. FFVI, on the other hand, is a very fun game with a gorgeous soundtrack, and quirky characters to boot ("I'll rip your lungs out!"). It appeals to me more due to being easier on the eyes, having a magic system that's harder to exploit, and just plain being more of a challenge than FFVII, especially for a young kid. Note that I'm talking about the hardtype FFVI, not FFIII as was released on the Super Nintendo. That game was easy as hell. I was mostly ragging on that review because Jimmy gave it a 0. I mean, who the hell do you think you are, Tommy Tallarico? And not to say that the masses are always right (you're wrong, AOL, millions of people CAN be wrong), and also not to say that Ocarina isn't an overhyped game (because it is), but there are way worse games out there that deserve zeros. Trust me, if Ocarina is the worst that you've ever played, you've been pampered all your life with godly games. You haven't really played a bad game before. Go play Hydlide, then come back and tell me that Ocarina of Time deserves a zero. |
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Ten thousand Swedes crept through the weeds, With one Norwegian following after, The dust from the weeds killed the Swedes, And the Norwegian died of laughter. | |
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| Pyroll7 | Jan 8 2007, 09:18 PM Post #10 |
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Dark Samus
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is he serious? he hates oot? no way |
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| Divisible by Waffle | Jan 8 2007, 09:21 PM Post #11 |
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Reticulating Spline
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People are most certainly entitled to their opinions, but few games deserve a 0. If he'd simply given it the 3/10 or so that his review indicated (unlike what my previous post says, I actually did read it), I would have applauded him for throwing himself to the sharks with a dead chicken tied to his chest in such a humorous manner. But only one game deserves a 0, and that's Hydlide. Catscratch has eternally earned my respect for having the world record on that horrendous pile of terror. |
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Ten thousand Swedes crept through the weeds, With one Norwegian following after, The dust from the weeds killed the Swedes, And the Norwegian died of laughter. | |
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| Pyroll7 | Jan 8 2007, 09:32 PM Post #12 |
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Dark Samus
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both final fantasy 4 and 6 on the snes as 2 and 3 in north america were dumb down for us north americans cause appartently it was too hard for us |
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| Chopstix | Jan 8 2007, 09:34 PM Post #13 |
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butts (◡‿◡✿)
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Its in the Spam Zone. He is dead serious. |
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Tumblr|Facebook|Twitter ![]() Come and join Smash Camp, it's almost open! | |
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| Divisible by Waffle | Jan 8 2007, 09:47 PM Post #14 |
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Reticulating Spline
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I have problems with how he goes about with his joking, however, so I shall give him pointers in the most annoying way I know how. Also, I knew of the Final Fantasy easytype mockery that Square made of North America. The bastards! |
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Ten thousand Swedes crept through the weeds, With one Norwegian following after, The dust from the weeds killed the Swedes, And the Norwegian died of laughter. | |
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| Imposter Morek | Jan 8 2007, 09:54 PM Post #15 |
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Goomba
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If you've played one Zelda game you've played them all. |
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