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    My first Fan fic review!; fan fic found on Nsider
    Topic Started: May 15 2005, 09:35 AM (220 Views)
    Propaganda Man
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    [size=14]Fan Fic Review:Failure of Konoha:By Bambam![/size]

    [size=7]Intro[/size]

    Hi and welcome to my first Fan Fic review! This fan fic was written by NICKDUDENICK! The fan fic can be found here! This is once again my first so bare with me.


    [size=7]Story[/size]

    There is this kid at a ninja school. And one day, while he was being lectured on a boring subject, Feiru sees a shadow at the window and then the teacher falls to the ground….dead! Quickly he stands up and sees his class mates wounded. But, what is strange is…he did not get touched at all…As he walks up to the fallen teacher…he sees this mask…a mask worn by no other then, mist ninjas…

    (That is my summary of the first chapter.)

    As you can see, this story is an action story which is always good because it gets the attention of the reader and that makes them want to read more.

    What I also love is that in the actual story he describes the characters, with out taking pauses in the story. As an example, “…as the wind blew threw his red hair…”, instead of this.” This kid name was Feiru. He had read hair.” This makes the story run smoothly and makes the read a whole lot better!

    But what he did which I find hard to do is that he made 3 stories in 1! But instead of stopping one story each story goes into to it. Here is a quote to show you what I mean.

    “I’m sorry, Kio,” Feiru said in a mellow voice, “come on, let’s head back home. It’s getting way late!” He helped Kiokure off her swing and hugged her. She stopped crying and smiled up at him while he blushed and turned away. She knew that he would walk her home again, even though their houses were so far apart.

    Insects could be heard all around the secluded house in the outskirts of Konoha village. The moon was full and reflected enough light that Kiokure could see Feiru walk off into the night for quite a while until he became just another shadow of the night’s dark blanket.

    Feiru walked along the dark paths, listening intently to the world around him. Konoha may be one of the most peaceful countries but the nighttimes could be as dangerous as any place. Sounds of the night drifted all around Feiru. He thought it funny that during the night sounds could be heard more clearly to a person. The rustle of leaves through the air, the sounds of some small animals running through the late-night streets and the sound of wind blowing by Feiru’s face.

    Something was wrong, though. Feiru could feel it."


    That is just a small chunk of it. would put more but I do not want to spoil it.


    10/10


    [size=7]ENDING[/size]

    (this is for how he ends each chapter)



    The ending is just amazing. It makes you want to refresh that page until he post the next chapter. (Believe me I have done it before ) What he does is put a whole bunch of meat in there, and leaves one important detail out. And the story can’t be complete without that detail, so it makes you want to read again. (Benjamin Franklin did the same thing so if you a familiar with his work then this is the fan fic for you!)



    10/10


    [size=7]Spelling and Grammar[/size]

    There is nothing to say here, it was all perfect. My proof is that I put it on word and I find none.



    10/10


    [size=7]WHO SHOULD READ IT?[/size]

    I suggest this story to anyone who likes a story with cliffhangers. You know what, I suggest this story to everyone. It is just amazing. With the cliffhangers, action, love, rivalry, and mystery behind it all.


    [size=7]MORAL[/size]

    The moral is(from what I believe is, “Don’t just stand there hoping that it will come to you, get off your feet and reach for it.”

    That is mine interpretation of the story so there is no score.


    [size=9]OVERALL[/size]

    10/10 it is just an amazing story it has, action, love, and a mystery behind it all!




    I would like to thank NICKDUDENICK for letting me review his ff(fan fic). If you would like your ff reviewed send me a PM with a URL and a summary of your story.
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    Propaganda Man
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    I just copied and pasted this so it is not how it should be. I will edit it soon.

    Bam~ I am done for now! I hope you like it!
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    Propaganda Man
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    Who are you?
    Doesn'yone want to read it Posted Image
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    Stu_J
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    Kirby
    I liked it, im nt big on japenese kinda stories and the like of it, but im an avid reader and i kno good writing when i see it, that thers diamond tht is, also the review is spot on too! gd job sumfin fresh on the forum, cnt hurt cn it?
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    Propaganda Man
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    Thanks! :D :D :D
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    Prydinho
    Gay
    very good review but isnt that called spamming and i should no i been banned 3 times, good review
    gay
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    Sontailsic
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    Chelsea FC Champions 55-05-06-10

    No it's not called spamming.

    Posted Image
    Posted Image
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    Prydinho
    Gay
    rreally ok i retract my stzatement sorry
    gay
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    Propaganda Man
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    that is ok! :) I think it is only called spaming if you posted it sshortly after you made the thread. Thanks!
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    Stu_J
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    Kirby
    explainn spammin pls
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