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| The Gay Best Friend; My true Romeo...lolz | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 16 2006, 11:01 AM (238 Views) | |
LadyLazarus
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Mar 16 2006, 11:01 AM Post #1 |
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Writer by day, zombie killer by night
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Just sharing with you an article I contributed to the pre-Valentine's supplement of the Philippine Star in Feb. 2005. Hope you enjoy it! The Queen of Queer Chris is the perfect date. Whenever we go out, I can be sure that he would be impeccably dressed. He knows all the good places to eat and knows exactly what food I’d enjoy. He is a great conversationalist, charming and a gentleman right down to the fingertips. He is insightful and smart. He possesses a refreshing candor and doesn’t hold back on compliments. He has an infectious laugh and a dry sense of humor. He puts people instantly at ease with his warm, buoyant personality. He thinks I’m beautiful and most importantly, he listens to me as if I were the wittiest, most interesting woman to grace this earth. He sounds dreamy and he is. So, why don’t I just go out and marry him or snatch him up before somebody else discovers what a gem he is? If only it were that simple. Chris and I have the kind of relationship many people would envy. However, it would never develop into anything more than a tightly-bonded friendship. It’s not because he doesn’t love me or I, him. It’s just that we have so much in common -- and that includes a healthy, red-blooded fascination for the male species. You're never, ever gonna find a friend like me Grace has her Will and Karen has her Jack. Julia Roberts has Rupert Everett in My Bestfriend’s Wedding while Jennifer Aniston has Paul Rudd in The Object of My Affection. And of course, I have my Chris. These men are the new breed of homosexual hotties, who find themselves the indispensable companions of straight modern-day women. They are, as media would call them, the Gay Best Friends (GBF). According to writer Leanda de Lisle from the Guardian, “The GBF exists, of course, in the way all sorts of unusual relationships exist." Come to think of it, who would have thought that a straight girl and a gay guy would actually click? In an article in the Observer, meanwhile, writer Catherine Jarvie explained: “In recent years, the gay best friend has found himself a firm place in the trophy room of modern friendship. It is commonly defined as the perfect platonic relationship: supportive, non-competitive and blissfully without sexual potential, complete with -- so popular myth would have it -- a shared interest in accessorising and men." Jarvie goes on further to quote the spokesman of a fashionable London gay club who explained that the reason why the straight girl-gay guy relationship is so successful is because they “respect one another" and “don't demand anything from one another." In my own experience, the GBF, while not necessarily usurping the role of the female best friend, holds a very special place in a woman’s heart. He is the only male you know that understands what you feel without trying to explain it. He feels what you feel and loves as you love. He knows exactly how to treat a woman. He is never stingy when expressing his affection and is thoughtful in more ways than you can count. On top of that, he can give you an insightful look into the male psyche while teaching you a hundred-and-one ways to please a man. He can be romantic, protective and possessive like any other guy of your acquaintance. It’s like having the best of both worlds -- you get to enjoy the companionship of a guy who happens to be perfectly “in tune" with your personality just like your closest female friends. And whatever you do...don’t fall in love! The straight girl-gay guy may sound like a match made in heaven but it does present its own drawbacks. What if, horror of horrors, you fall for the same guy? Or worse, what if you fall in love with your gay best friend? “The first rule of a gay/straight relationship is to stop secretly desiring your camp companion. He is not gay because he hasn't met the right women yet and no amount of flirting is going to get him to fall in love with you!" advised Lotte Jeffs, a writer for www.handbag.com. I wish someone told me this years ago, when I made a mistake of falling for one of my gay friends. I was also miserable because I knew that the relationship I wanted with him was never going to happen. This misery turned into bitterness and I began to resent him. When he realized this, he drew back from me. Thankfully, though, I got over him we became friends once more. I promised myself never to fall into that trap again. On the other hand, even though you do not fall in love with your gay best friend, the kind of closeness you share could possibly threaten your “legitimate" relationship. “Straight men have been known to get envious of a gay man's relationship with their girlfriend. They can feel threatened as, let's face it, he's probably better looking, better dressed and more in tune with her emotions, so shouldn't they have a reason to be?" Jeffs pointed out in her article. Meanwhile, Catherine Jarvie quotes the editor of a gay lifestyle magazine, Adam Mattera: “There’s a way that both people in that friendship can be with one another that they can't be with other people. If they've been friends for a long time, they may have a really strong bond that may be even stronger than it would be in a same-sex friendship. Often they're very physical with one another, very tactile, very intimate; I wouldn't be surprised if someone coming in from the outside found it threatening." “Jealously leads to conflict; so be careful. Make time for both the men in your life and try and form a friendship between them. This way they can understand each other and their needs from you in each relationship," Jeffs advised. Where art thou Romeo? I’ve been around gay guys for so long that people are starting to wonder if I’m even interested in having a boyfriend. Of course I am but come to think of it, why don’t I have one now? Does it have to do with the fact that I’m happily content with the love and affection that I receive from the GBF? Why settle for a jerk who won’t give you the time of day when you have a veritable prince on your side, except that he fancies other princes himself? So okay, I admit, maybe being too attached to my gay friends is putting a damper on my love life. Who could blame me, after all, when my gay friends are more quintessentially male than any straight guy I know? When my GBF has had more boyfriends than I and it seems that 50 percent of the male population is either gay or in denial? I’m still searching for that special someone, though. After all, for all the love Chris and my other gay friends could give me, they can never really satisfy that most basic need of being appreciated as, well -- female. However, until that time that I find my guy: Diamonds, move over. This girl’s got a new best friend and he’s as every bit as shiny and glamorous as you are. |
LadyLazarus invades Yahooooooooooo!!!!! <<---- clicky
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LadyLazarus



