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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 22 2010, 03:32 AM (171 Views) | |
| Sean | Mar 22 2010, 03:32 AM Post #1 |
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Stolen from another forum, and Im sure it will be doing the rounds soon. Well funny read, especially the questions bit. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...#descripti on |
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| Stu | Mar 22 2010, 04:13 AM Post #2 |
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The link dosnt take you to a listing. Says its been removed. |
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| Sean | Mar 22 2010, 04:14 AM Post #3 |
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gutted will try and transfer from my files knew ebay would remove so saved it Attention Teenage Drug Dealers/Low Life & Oxygen Thieves If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers. A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already. Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket. Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time. To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you? I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier. For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is. If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this. The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor. For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO? Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid. Nuff said, innit. Edited by Sean, Mar 22 2010, 04:18 AM.
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Fastest Nissan, j10 meets convoy to trax
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| Stu | Mar 22 2010, 04:18 AM Post #4 |
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Pmsl That's ace! I can't see why ebay would remove it Have you got a piccy of the car? Edited by Stu, Mar 22 2010, 04:36 AM.
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| Sean | Mar 22 2010, 04:37 AM Post #5 |
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must have been postin at same time its above your last post stu |
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| Stu | Mar 22 2010, 04:39 AM Post #6 |
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Yeah I noticed I've edited my post Classic post in the making mate! |
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| Deleted User | Mar 22 2010, 07:28 AM Post #7 |
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That is one pissed off dude lol I read the lot it is so true everyword god I hate French cars lol He must of covered absolutely everything chav oriantated lmfao Quality Gen6 |
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| Sean | Mar 22 2010, 12:36 PM Post #8 |
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couldnt believe it when i saw it :lol: :lol: :lol: few more facts and try to get some pics up.64,750 page hits,263 questions,the guy says yes it is for sale, the mileage is 62k, it has an MOT and service history. There is nothing wrong with it at all. Well apart from how it looks! It just isn't my cup of tea. will put some of the questions up theyre worth a look if you wanna giggle Q: Aiight bredrin duz it cum wi da blingin turbo whistler fingy in da rudeboi xhaust? A: na man, me got it confiskated by da 5-0 4 been diss Q: RE. Tattoo Can ya do me boyfriend's (also farva of me ferd an forf pickny) name on me neck? (If not, I'd settle for the top of me arm, or across me beer-gut, in a celtic style) A: ezzy! Q: how fast is it mr ? A: quik as u like bro. quik as u like. See da 5-0 on da tellie Q: Duz it av a massiv exhaust - like that me ome boyz could climb up - so big? If not can you nick me one from Alfordz innit and stick it on in the deal? Sweet wheelz fella - massive respec' from d Midlands innit. A: d Midlands boyz ! you is safe. but it grim up norf init? Q: wikked how spacious is the boot? would, for example, the low life shitbag who has started to undercut me on my turf fit in the boot? is it soundproof? A: u is gettin boddy in boot bro but gonna need to dismember it 'cause me base box inda way..Me mate Alsta do it but he say it messy nd he wanna drink.. Q: will you take a kilo of smack as payment?? A: mudda me wheels wurt more dan dat, u been cuttin it yeah? Q: Im married and got another littleun on the way. As such i aint getting a good seeing to from the missus. If i bought this car would i be able to pull a chav bint that can suck golf balls through straws for the price of a couple of aftershocks? A: Not as well as ur bitch. She good man. But lok afta me kid yo. Q: Where's the bean can exhaust tailpipe or the standard fit ironing board on the roof? A: Me lose it on mini roundbout but u find it off A4 slough man. Q: would it be ok to pay with fake bank notes???? A: if day good bro, i ain't no squeal. Be safe. Q: Respek Man on tha add, can you skin up that mutha for uz with real pukka 24"Gold/Chrome Bling-Bling Rimz, ma homies an me are lookin for sumin serios Bling for krusin the kings rued for pullin all thems serios fit white tottys there. A: me hearin ya man! RESPEK Q: i am 64years old can you get me some of the stuff you are on,i use to take the odd purple heart in the sixties. A: 64 init. u got pension bok u wanna sell? I give u a ounce 4 it cause me got plenty at mo. BigChimp rekon it wurf a 50 max. init Q: Has it ever been raced or rallied or the front wheels spun on the handbrake to burn out the plastic speedbumps outside MacDonalds? A: me race, u kiddin me. It been ragged man. I keep up wid me cusz on is moped raund da one way systum EASY. init. Q: Look mate ill be straight wiv ya ive jus got out and all ive got is a black bag of mobiles i can't get he cash cos me dole dont come for anuvver 2 weeks any chance of a swap for the mobiles ? me missis is up the duff so i need sommat to get er down to sign on cheer geez A: dat kiddie aint mine bro! tell ya missis i is took some protection. Me ad ma feet tied 2 da bed init Q: I say chap, that is my daughters car It was stolen from outside Marks and Spencers a week past Thursday. Felicity and I would be very happy if you would return our property to us (undamaged and with a full tank of fuel). If you will not comply then I shall have to inform the authorities. Kind regards Sebastian Howard. A: woooaay dude!! Possesion is 9 tenths da law. it is my possesion now. Me own em wheels. felicity can work somin out wid me do. Is she fit? anywayz in wernt M & S me found it round da back NEXT but 'ad 2 cut da clamp of. She left some crap CD's init. Init Q: Are you on the glue mate? A: No man. me try smoke it but it stuck all over me Rizla. Q: does it have glow underneath, or does i have to do it meself n'that A: da brakes are bit iffy n somtime front discs glo a bit but me use andbrake instead. Q: Funny as hell, thanks for making us all laugh on a saturday morning at work, Holden Renault Sales Team. A: Do you want me to write some of your adverts??? Will work on a no sale no fee basis!! Q: can i pay £5 per week out of ma benefit, willing to throw in my bitch, dog and ne thin else u fancy till paid up A: I takin youse benyfit book for fiver week but want some pension books and dvd player aswell init. see wot you can blag to do a deal. Friday good for shopliftin so go work dem PC Woorld and Currys. Take off da sekuirty tag doh. Q: how much for the squiggled out numberplates....just what i need. A: Day is special from my mate Neil at Halfords. He say tenner bag of crack and you is got yerself a pair bro. Wicked. thats about the best of 6 pages on ebay get pics up asap Edited by Sean, Mar 22 2010, 12:57 PM.
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| Stu | Mar 23 2010, 08:53 AM Post #9 |
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ive just seen this on another site. heres another link to it http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230451057921#ht_1200wt_1165 |
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| Deleted User | Mar 23 2010, 08:54 AM Post #10 |
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Can't understand a bloody word of it lol |
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