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| Shayla's Diary; Closed | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 17 2007, 05:07 PM (228 Views) | |
| Shayla Robinson | Sep 17 2007, 05:07 PM Post #1 |
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4th Year Student / Half-Vampire
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Dear Diary, It's winter now, and it's gotten colder each day. I really hope it snows soon, because I'm tired of the sky looking so full. You know? Like, the sky's all cloudy white, like it wants to snow, but it just can't yet. I want it to start actually snowing, instead of just almost snowing. It's really annoying. I got a letter from Opal a few days back. She says she's doing well, but sometimes I'm just not so sure, you know? I've always protected her, and ever since we found out she's not a witch... well, I just wish she could be here, so I could keep on protecting her. I get worried though, hanging around her so much. What if I bit her? She'd be just as cursed as I am. I don't think I could deal with that, Diary. I mean, I'm her older sister. If I bit her, she'd be just as...wrong as me for the rest of her life. I hate only being half. I'd do anything, really anything, to just be one. I keep asking Dad to just turn me full, but he always gets this look of pain, and then I just can't ask again. I can't go back to being human, though. I need someone to really turn me. I'm sick of being stuck in the crossroads between here and there. I'm on a path that's double dead ended, excuse my poetry. I wish someone could talk to me. I wish someone could, oh I don't know, help me. Shed some light or whatever. I'm sick of feeling so alone all of the time, even when I'm around everyone. I wonder, sometimes, what my friends would say if I just told them my secret? Would they run away? Would they accept me? Or... would they be like mum? I mean, don't get me wrong. Mum loves me... I think. But, she's... she's terrified of me. She'll never say anything, I know that, but she's always got this...this look in her eyes! I don't get it! Dad's a vampire! No, nevermind, I get it. Dad's a vampire. That's it. He is predictable. He's in control. I'm only half. I could snap at any moment. I can't control anything, no matter how hard I train. I can't become strong like Dad, and Mum knows it. She's afraid of me, my own mum. It hurts, sometimes, to know that. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just run away. Nah, Opy'd miss me too much. Plus, I'd have to find somewhere to go first. They'd find me at Grandmum and Granddad's place. Hmm... maybe I could stay with Nate. Nah, he'd get annoyed with me. Jeez, I need more real friends. Oh well, too bad. At least I have my cookies. I love you, cookies! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!! Still... it hurts to be so alone... Anyways, time for me to go to class! Love, Love, Love, Love and some more Love, Shayla Kaylin Robinson |
Blood Flavored Ice-cream
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| Shayla Robinson | Sep 29 2007, 10:56 AM Post #2 |
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4th Year Student / Half-Vampire
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Dear Diary, Today, I ate some really good strawberries. They were amazing, which is weird because normally Strawberries arn't that good during the winter. These were really good, though, and I was happy that I'd stolen them from the kitchens. I would've been even happier if some of my friends hadn't started joking around that the strawberry juice on my chin was blood. They were all like "Ooooo! Shay's a vampire! Run!" and giggled and screamed and stuff. I had to play along, but you know how much it hurt my feelings, Diary. I used to have dreams that I'd tell my friends I was a vampire (Well, sorta) and they'd still be happy and play with me still. I thought we'd all still be able to play in the sandbox and swing on swings... but I'm not so sure anymore. Lately, I've been having... different dreams. I had a dream a few nights ago that I bit one of my friends and she died. I don't like scary dreams like that. Could you imagine me killing someone? I mean, I know I've had human blood a couple of times, but they were all accidents, and no one really got it back then. What if something happened now adays? Would I be sent... to prison? What would happen to me? Would I be... killed? I keep reading this book on different methods to kill vampires. What if someone came after me with a stake? I know Nate's family hunts vampires... would Nate kill me if I bit someone? I wish I was normal, like Cy... or even Eris. I mean, then things would be so much simpler. I'd be happier, and everything would be more fun! I mean, sure, I couldn't be as 'super strong' as I am now. I couldn't sneak up on people, or hear things and see them from farther away, but I'd be normal. I wouldn't have to worry about thirsting for my friend's blood. Things would just be so much simpler. I need to go Christmas shopping soon. I want to get my friends good presents, so they can be happy. I mean, that's the point of Christmas, right? Giving your friends stuff so they'll be happy! I wonder what Nate would want. I think I'll get Cy some candy, or something like that. I don't know him all that well, so I figure that'll be good. I'm going to get Morgane a book, and maybe some more quills. I think she said she was running low on them last time I talked to her. We really don't talk that much, her being so old and everything, but she's pretty cool. I like to think that we're friends... kind of. I wonder if I should get Eris something for Christmas... I mean, I guess we're not friends. I mean, when we do talk, it's just kind of cheap and plastic... kind of fake, I guess. Still, I'll admit to admiring her. She seems like she'd be an interesting person to hang around with. Plus, she's in a bunch of my classes. I will get her a Christmas present! Ok, so let's see... I need Christmas Presents for Nate, Cy, Morgane, and Eris. I'll just give the rest of my friends candy or something. It's not like they're even really that good of friends. Man, this has been way too much deep thinking for one day. =( I never should've eaten the strawberries in the first place. Love and fuzzy bunnies, Shayla Kaylin Robinson |
Blood Flavored Ice-cream
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| Shayla Robinson | Nov 25 2007, 05:14 PM Post #3 |
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4th Year Student / Half-Vampire
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Dear Diary, Guess what? The Yule Ball's coming up REALLY soon! I'm excited, because I this will be the first year I can go! I mean, I'm not sure if I could go any of my other years, but I didn't anyhow, so who cares? But, this year, I am going! I've got my dress and everything! It's a really cute dress, too. I told Mom what colors I wanted, and she sent over three dresses. I got to pick out of them. I mean, they were all really cute, but the one I picked was SUPER cute! OH, but I have to be quiet about it! I can't tell anyone about it, yet, even you, Diary! Sorry, I can't risk you spilling my secret dress! But, no worries, I'll make sure to tell you all about the Yule Ball once it's over! I'm going home over the Holiday Break. I think it'll probably be really fun, but I'm also a little bit nervous. I mean, I still have to get a few holiday gifts for my friends, and... well, I'll miss them over break! I mean, at least I'll have my sister this year, with my parents, instead of just Grammy and Grandpa! So, I figure it'll be pretty fun. I am a little worried about Opal, though. I mean, I know she's not scared of me anymore, but I'm always worried that I'm going to screw up and scare her again. It's so hard to be around her, she's so... alive! What if I bit her? What would I do? I obviously couldn't go back home... I'd have to run away. I couldn't stand myself if I let something bad happen to my little sister, especially if it was my fault. Sometimes, I kind of wish I was never born at all, or at least born to another family, so I wouldn't have to worry about Opal so much. She's just so... innocent. I wonder... I wonder if that's how I would've been, if I didn't have to worry about the side of me that likes eating people... erm, drinking the blood of people. I don't know. Now I'm getting all depressed. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS! Cake! Cookies! Snails! Butterflies! Mice! Clouds! Rainbows! Sparkles! Unicorns! Bunnies! Puppies! Horses! Ponies! Sugar! Cotton Candy! Ugggh. I need my happy cake. Love and lots of Christmas Trees, Shayla Kaylin Robinson |
Blood Flavored Ice-cream
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