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Topic Started: Aug 7 2011, 10:53 PM (174 Views)
Froth
Member
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Username: Froth
Preferred Name: Froth
Age (optional): 17
Years role-playing: 6+
Favorite Genre: not picky... I LOVE THEM ALLL~!
Least favorite genre: I don't like Loli if that's what you mean...?
Anything you’d like to add: I love making friends~! bewaaare~!


Role-playing Sample:

It's time to wake up....wake up, Ja-

Emerald orbs opened slowly, as the light filtering through the blinds pierced them they screwed shut once more. Air hissed through his clenched teeth as he grimaced. Pulling the covers over his head once more, Jackson sighed, it was way to early to be awake, he knew that for sure. And then, as if on cue, the alarm began screaming in his face. A groan passed his lips and he swung his large hand out to his bedside table to smack the clock, silencing it. Another groan sounded from beneath the covers as a beer bottle clattered to the floor from his bedside table. There were a few others scattered around his apartment.

The male lifted his head wearily, licking his lips. The silver orb on his tongue clicked against his teeth a few times, along with on his lip piercings, the two black rings. He ran his long fingers through his shaggy brunette hair, the white flecks appearing in the light. His green gaze sharpened as he looked around he room, glaring for a minute at the blinds upon the window next to his bed, they always woke him up. His green and white blankets were thrown off of him, towards the ned of the bed, as he shifted himself to a sitting position on the end of his bed.

Another dream of Myra.. That was the third one his month, and they were getting more vivid each time. He loved and hated dreams of his sister at the same time, the made him feel closer to him and yet they frightened him as well. He never wanted to wake up, especially from the dreams in which she actually spoke to him, her voice was so calming and he wished he could hear her sing again, though it would never happen again and he was aware of this. Jackson rested his forehead against his moist palms as his mind raced with images and memories of his younger sister, some of which ere when she was in the hospital and times after.

Though, after awhile the buzzer went off again and he pressed the button with a sigh, silencing it for the day. His eyes were rimmed red and very tired looking, this month had not held much sleep for him due to his dreams. As he stood and walked towards the bathroom he realized what a smashing headache he had. His feet dragged along the floor as he made it into the bathroom. Another grimace and recoil as he turned on the light inside the small, white-tiled bathroom. He looked into the mirror and sighed again, he looked dreadful. Jackson brushed his teeth and afterwards slathered shaving cream over his jaw, wetting his razor and going at the stubble on his rugged looking face. He got some on his abdomen, which ended up sliding along the contours of his abs and down onto the waistline of his plaid pajama bottoms.

"dangit..." he muttered, wiping it away before finishing his shave and washing the suds away. After he was cleaned up he walked back into his bedroom and slipped into some bootcut jeans, they were stained and a little torn at the knee, but they fit him well and he refused to be rid of them. The he tugged a loose fitting grey flannel over his broad shoulders and buttoned up the dark thick buttons. Before grabbing his keys and heading out the door he chugged some milk from the carton and grabbed an apple, kissed the picture of his parents and sister and threw his jacket over one shoulder,
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Purple Butterfly Pills
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In Over Her Head
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A pointer or three for you. Watch your comma usage. I know the saying goes that every time you would take a breath there would either be a comma or period, but that doesn’t always work. For example: “Emerald orbs opened slowly, as the light filtering through the blinds pierced them they screwed shut once more.” Should be, “Emerald orbs opened slowly as the light filtering through the blinds pierced them and they screwed shut once more.” Absolutely no need for any commas in that entire sentence.

Watch spelling errors (they’re little bastards). I suggest typing your replies in some form of a word document (I use Microsoft Word, personally) to keep these typos and spelling errors under control. It will also help with the aforementioned over-comma-usage.

Lastly, your descriptions could be a little less dense and a bit more fluid. I like the way you use motions and other things to describe your character, but reading it is a bit lackluster. Make a thesaurus your friend and keep your fellow role-players interested.

Other than that, Welcome to our humble abode that is High Voltage. Hope you enjoy your stay and don’t get shocked too much (unless you’re into that kind of thing…)
[align=center]Live each day like it's your last...[/align]

[align=right]Because it very well could be...[/align]
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