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| The Bloated Cynic; breaking news direct from the Milky Way | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 22 2007, 04:40 PM (114 Views) | |
| Dracosus | Jul 22 2007, 04:40 PM Post #1 |
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Bolshevik
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An (almost) weekly column bringing you breaking news from that insignificant blue speck the locals call "Earth." July 22, 2007 Good afternoon, and welcome to this first installment of the Bloated Cynic. This past week was a interesting one on Earth, so I'll get right down to business. Posted Image In World News, deadly floods and landslides in China have claimed over 100 people this summer, as heavy rain has caused numerous rivers, such as the Huai River, to overflow. Already 329,000 acres have been flooded, prompting the evacuation of over 1 million residents of the Huai River Basin. Posted Image India elected its first ever female president, 72-year-old Pratibha Patil, this week. Patil won 2/3 of the electoral college. Many feel that this is another positive step in the push for women's rights in India. Relations between the United Kingdom and Russia continue to be strained as yet another assassination plot against a Russian exile living in London was uncovered. UK officials were able to uncover the plot in time to save Boris Berezovsky, an outspoken critic of President Vladimir Putin. Putin said in a speech on Thursday that he believes the 'mini-crisis' will be easily overcome and relations with Britain will develop normally. Posted Image In U.S. News, President Bush signed an executive order on Friday that would allow the CIA to use "harsh questioning of subjects" in terror interrogations. The publically-released portion of the nw policy contains an extremely vague ban on cruel and inhuman punishment and torture, but does not say where harsh questioning ends and torture begins. Critics say that until the CIA abides by the Geneva Conventions, the United States will continue to be viewed in a negative light by the rest of the world. Posted Image The final book in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, sold more than 1.2 million copies worldwide its first day at Barnes and Noble Booksellers, breaking a company record. I haven't bought it yet, so please, keep the ending to yourself. Posted Image In otherworldy news, the Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity are in danger of permanent damage or death. The twin rovers, launched in 2004 with an expected operational life of three months, are currently braving severe Martian dust storms which have blocked out 85-90% of the sunlight they need to recharge their batteries. If the storms don't let up, the rovers could stop functioning and freeze. NASA scientists have ordered the rovers to operate in "sleep mode" to conserve power, but they may not last much longer. Scientists hope that even if the rovers are lost, they will still be able to transmit valuable data on the dust storms. And that's the way the cookie crumbles, I'm Jonny reporting for the Galadian Times. |
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"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies...the soul of America dies with it." -Edward R. Murrow Ohio Is A Myth GOT MUFFIN? http://www.obscurestudios.net | |
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| Dracosus | Aug 11 2007, 07:47 PM Post #2 |
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Bolshevik
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I told it was going to be "almost weekly." Well after a two week hiatus, we're back with more news from that dismal blue rock where all those squishy, carbon-based things live. You've entered the realm of the Bloated Cynic. August 11, 2007 Posted Image In Mauritania this week, legislation was passed to punish slaveholders. Although slavery was officially abolished in the Saharan country in 1981, no law has ever been created to punish those who still illegally practice it. Now, convicted slaveholders could face up to 10 years in prison. Posted Image Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf assured the press this week that Pakistan's nuclear weapons are secure in response to U.S. concerns that a possible government overthrow might let the nukes fall into the wrong hands. The concerns are largely based on the strain placed on U.S.-Pakistani relations in the continuing hunt for terrorists inPakistan and Afghanistan. Still, Musharraf says that the military structure in place to secure the country's nuclear weapons would be unaffected by any change in leadership. Posted Image Hurricane Flossie increased in intesity to a Category 4 storm, with winds speeds topping 135 mph. Flossie is expected to weaken as it passes over cooler waters and could calm to a tropical storm by the time it passes just south of the Hawaiian islands late Tuesday or early Wednesday. Posted Image Rescue workers in Utah today found a survivable chamber in the collapsed mine near the small town of Huntington. As drilling continues, workers hope that the six trapped miners are still alive. Only time will tell. Posted Image The Space Shuttle Endeavor was launched at Cape Canaveral on Wednesday, but not without problems. After a cabin leak was detected earlier in the week, a piece of ice that flew off of an external fuel tank and struck the shuttle's belly during launch left a 3-inch gash in the shuttle's thermal tiles. Despite the eerie similarities to the debris that fatally impacted the Columbia in 2003, NASA has stated that they don't think the damage is that serious. A spacewalk to fully examine the extent of the damage is scheduled for Sunday. Posted Image The Perseid Meteor shower will peak from Sunday night into Monday morning. With the new moon, conditions will be perfect for watching the shower. At its peak just before dawn on Monday, there will be an estimated 1-2 meteors per minute. I'm Jonny, reporting for the Galadian Times. Good night and good luck. |
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"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies...the soul of America dies with it." -Edward R. Murrow Ohio Is A Myth GOT MUFFIN? http://www.obscurestudios.net | |
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