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Thought Experiment; sociology of love
Topic Started: Feb 13 2014, 04:32 PM (422 Views)
freebeesting
Advanced Member
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I would like to pose a sort of thought experiment. The premise is this:
A happy couple (married or unmarried). The two people in the relationship
are insanely in love with each other. Whatever soulmates are, both partners
agree that this word defines them. Neither person would ever leave the other
for any normal reason.
ok, so we have two people who love each other essentially. Now there are two
circumstances I would like to adress regarding our happy couple:

1. One partner for whatever reason develops feelings of love for another
person in their life.

2. One partner for whatever reason has sex with another person in their
life.

which is worse?

I am not trying to make this about gender either. The obvious argument is
that women would choose #1, and men would choose #2. There is a deeper
meaning to grasp here. I tend to think that as long as the #1 partner does
not have sex with anybody else than their soulmate, even if they develop
feelings of love for another person in their life, it is not a betrayal. I
don't think they should feel as if they don't really love their soulmate
just because they might feel love for someone else. If they love their
soulmate more, then it doesn't matter if they love someone else less.
The only thing that would make their feelings for someone else a betrayal
would be sex itself. Interesting because one should not view sex as love
necessarilly, but it would seemingly be the sex that legitimizes the
feelings. One can also take the view that If the partner loves their
soulmate, it should not matter if they have sex with someone else as long as
they only love their partner. Is this a higher form of love or just a
justification of actions? I don't find too many questions which confuse me
as much as this one.

http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2006/05/theology-of-everyday-life-
sinning-in.html

Matthew 5-28
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.

What is interesting is that this rabbinic folk psychology, the idea of
conflict between the yezer ha-ra and the yezer ha-tov, creates a situation
where mental events are not moralized as was seen in Cohen and Rozin (2001).
Why not? Well, given the constant presence of the evil impulse, the yezer
ha-ra, thoughts of lust or hate or envy are, in principle, present in all
moral choices. Thus, it is no "sin" to have such thoughts. It is just a part
of human psychology (from the Jewish perspective). A person cannot rid
themselves of the yezer-ha ra, one can only choose not to obey it. And,
thus, it is the choice that has moral status, not the thoughts of the yezer
ha-ra. And this is indeed what Cohen and Rozin (2001) observed.
By contrast, Christians don't have a folk psychology that informs their
theology. (Hence my interest in this subject.) Most Christians have only a
muddled sense of what words like "soul," "spirit," or "mind" meant in the OT
or NT contexts. Further some also confusedly try to reconcile those ancient
folk psychologies with modern science. All Christians generally agree on is
that they can "sin in their hearts." That, not only do you have to behave
rightly, you have to think rightly.

http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2006/05/theology-of-everyday-life-
sinning-in.html

My answer to the thought experiment is: Even if your partner fell in love
with someone else AND had sex with them, you would not be able to stop
loving them if they are your soulmate. And even if you fell in love with
someone else AND had sex with them, you couldn't stop loving your partner if
they are your soulmate. So im not sure if #1 is even "bad." Yahushua is
saying that if you "Lust" for someone then you have committed adultury "In
your heart." This obviously pertains to sex. If you legitimately feel
feelings of love for someone other than your soulmate, wouldn't a true
soulmate love that person too? How can love be bad?

i love you all as i love myself
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damn. I love it. was just thinking about this, glad I checked this forum :) Oh. LOVE.
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yass
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'night owl'
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I believe the 10 commandments are all about feelings. When we break a commandment we've broken happy feelings and a negative (kin to fear) develops, keeping us from living in a happy kingdom. That negativity will vent somewhere, somehow, and create/cause more negativity.

3 of 10:

Killing someone
stealing from someone
sleeping with someone (extramarital)

and... what are the rest? Can't remember offhand though I should, but it's like 5 am and I haven't slept yet. I worked this out years ago. It's the only thing that made sense to me.

Depending on one's sensitivity/de-sensitivity is what one is going to tolerate. Sure, you can be all kinds of liberal, I guess it just depends on who you are and what you want out of life and of/in a relationship. After being married for 10-15 years then getting clued in that your spouse is sleeping with someone else can be devastating! It's not a happy thing.

Respectively, you must be the kind of person you want to attract. What you want in an-other, love, peace, understanding, forgiveness, you must strive to be also.

So, as for soulmates, what exactly does that mean? Are you speaking of a twin soul or just a soul that you like a lot who makes a good mate?

If you truly love someone, you might respect their feelings all your days if it were possible.

I believe, respect is the highest form of love.

And forgiveness, while one strives to be better person, is divine.

:parakeet: :parakeet: :parakeet:
Edited by yass, Feb 25 2014, 08:26 AM.
-Love will lead
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