Web
Analytics Made Easy - StatCounter
Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Europeia!
So what the heck is Europeia anyways?

Can I join?

So, I came here representing another region? I do not want to become a citizen. Where should I go?

What offices are there for people to be elected into?

What is there for me to do in Europeia?

That answers most of my immediate questions. What if I have any more?


Username:   Password:
Dangerous Election?; ENN Satire
Topic Started: Apr 19 2016, 02:02 AM (146 Views)
Ervald
Member Avatar
The Goldblum of NationStates

Posted Image
Satire Article - "Dangerous Election?"
Written by Ervald

"Whoo hoo! This election has been a wild one and in the past few days, there have been some bizarre developments. Aditya, despite not being a legal candidate for the Presidency since his running mate never confirmed he would be VP, has just released a controversial platform.

He plans to establish an idiocracy in Europeia which all idiots of the RMB board will control all government functions on the forum. Almost the entire forum appears to hate this, while citizens only active on the RMB seem to be deeply divided on this proposal. Glorious Republic of the Awesome Fake French Reich on the RMB has said, “Like Hammerabi told, ‘governed for a governed!’ This proposal is absolutely logical! And look, representative democracy worked in Weimar Germany! I mean, we’re representing the forum…right?”

Hyanygo on the forum has said, “This is absolutely ridiculous. I have lost faith in humanity. Our forum citizens are intellectual, professional, and creative citizens while people on the RMB are empty-minded, primitive nicompoopers. If Aditya gets elected, I will destroy the University Library!”

With more alarming news, Zenny has just registered to be on the ballot. She came back to Europeia by sneaking through the back window of Brunhilde’s house which is located right on the border, basically your classic Baarle-Nassau situation. Political experts are guessing her platform will promote self-glorification, rigged elections, excessive communist-themed propaganda, terrible military, and spying on political parties and societies. Happily for most citizens, the Ministry of Communications has released a report with her registering at -3 points in the polls.

Following the disastrous scandal with the PREDATOR tool with DEN higher-ups, they have all immigrated to Europeia. Gest and Chingis, using computers from a local public library to bypass their ban, released a platform simply saying, “Writing is inferior. We will just establish a military junta and step down and have Kraken in charge. Hail Europeia!”.

Despite dozens of insults from citizens, they are polling 90% with all ERN personnel. Right-wingers in Europeia are also hoping to have a Greek or Chilean military junta –inspired regime. The latest scandal is a very possible future President, Calvin Coolidge was arrested for assault against a running mate of another candidate, HEM.

After finding out HEM possessed a bamboo tree farm in the low-tax zone territory, the Krakenist Japanese Paradise, Calvin mounted a hasty raid on his farm. Unfortunately, HEM was right outside the farm entrance and after refusing to give up 75% of the bamboo farm to him monthly, Calvin attacked him. He failed to attack him by the groin and instead, his right leg have a deep gash. HEM was transported to the hospital and is resting there and is reported to be out and moving in a day or two.

Calvin defended the attack by saying: “Look, if you want me as your President, I gotta work well and bamboo motivate me. Lately, Ervald been buying out bamboo farms and placing lambs and chickens in them to make gyro meat for himself! If anything, it was a Hail Mary solution and I am negotiating with HEM after he get out of the hospital with Kazaman as the mediator to find a way for him to keep parts of the farm while I can get a flourishing supply of bamboo.”"
Edited by Ervald, Apr 19 2016, 02:02 AM.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
on  Quote
 
Kraketopia
Member Avatar


How do you know about the Krakenist Junta :violentgun:
Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image Posted Image Posted ImagePosted Image

Posted Image
Posted Image

C.V.
off  Quote
 
Fortunado
Member Avatar
Sommelier and sacrificer of Individuals To The Old Gods

Kraketopia
Apr 19 2016, 02:37 AM
How do you know about the Krakenist Junta :violentgun:
We put out a commercial for it on the only good TV station in Europeia... they would've found out eventually.

I consider myself an idealist, mostly because realists are just pessimists who don't do anything.
Check out the latest article from the EBC here! 11/12/15
These edges make me bleed! WHY!
memories
resume
citations


malashaan the sandslash
Posted ImageSupport Fortunado the Hypno, and follow the Pokémon Blue playthrough (click him!)
off  Quote
 
Boomer
Member Avatar
Casual and Unashamed

Kraketopia
Apr 19 2016, 02:37 AM
How do you know about the Krakenist Junta :violentgun:
You leaked it yourself.


Kraketopia
Dec 7 2015, 04:03 AM
I'm actually setting up a military junta, so I plead Not Guilty.
Boomer, EIN, ESS
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted Image
Resume
Miscellaneous
Shiny things
Quotes
off  Quote
 
Anumia
Member Avatar
Anumia Novo Spiritus

What the hell is going on :P
Signature
off  Quote
 
Lethen
Member Avatar
Remember when I was famous? Neither do I.

^My thoughts exactly
me, basically (click)

A letter to a friend

By the Prophetical Blessing of Nethel, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic of Europeia and the states within, Destined Overseer of His rightful yet forgotten realms of Estalcia and Old Europe and Crystal Falls, Defender of the Faith and New Jersey, and Heir to the concept of Sarcasm
on  Quote
 
Kuramia
Member Avatar
Burdened with Glorious Purpose

This was a fun read, Ervald!
Grandiose Delusions
Resume
Posted Image
Posted Image
off  Quote
 
Ervald
Member Avatar
The Goldblum of NationStates

Kuramia
Apr 19 2016, 06:38 AM
This was a fun read, Ervald!
Thank you, Kuramia!
Edited by Ervald, Apr 19 2016, 12:51 PM.
Posted Image
Posted Image
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
on  Quote
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Create your own social network with a free forum.
« Previous Topic · E-News Network · Next Topic »