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Political Apathy Rampant In Europeia; E-Mensa
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Topic Started: Dec 7 2015, 07:16 PM (193 Views)
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Sloosh
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Dec 7 2015, 07:16 PM
Post #1
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Self-Aware Silly Putty
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 E-Mensa - Political Apathy Rampant In Europeia Written by Sloosh
"Anumia's mass of children."
"The pigeon no-fly zone over Anumia."
"Anumiancest."
What do all of these have in common?
Yes, they're in English. Yes, they're sentences. Yes, you're reading them. Yes, you're a smartass and should shut up.
The important thing they have in common is that they are all responses given by everyday Europeian citizens to the following question: "what first comes to mind when you hear the phrase 'controversial issues in Europeian politics?'". It seems that our citizens struggle to answer this question without referring to the Allfather's (admittedly impressive) virility. A number of other responses were given, but most of them consisted of graphic descriptions of things Kraken has done with his tentacles that my editor deemed unfit to print. Just between you and me: the word "schoolgirls" came up an unsettling number of times.
Now, I don't know about you, but this (the nature of the responses mentioned-not Kraken's heinous crimes against humanity) is extremely disturbing to me as a citizen of this great region. When asked a serious question regarding our very own politics, the most we can come up with are jokes about Anumia? Seriously? The word "Georgetown" was not uttered even once. One must ask themselves exactly what sort of integration the Ministry of Interior was working on last term if our newcomers aren't familiar with Remsol and his mighty Georgetown education.
But no one seemed concerned! There were even a few giggles from bystanders, and an eldritch shriek from Senator Fortunado's office that I'm going to pretend, for the sake of my own sanity, was laughter. I feared for the future of Europeia. If our everyday citizens are clueless about what is going on outside of the Republic Square, what future does our region have?
This intrepid reporter set out, hoping to dispel his fears.
"Europeian politics? We have those?" one citizen said. "I thought that poll thing the other day was for a beauty pageant."
I was discouraged, but thought that perhaps this was a fluke. After all, we're playing a goddamn political simulator, right?
"Political simulator?" another citizen said, pausing from crushing anthills to speak with me. "I thought this was a sadist torture porn game. Am I not supposed to be deliberately oppressing my citizens, or something?"
I muttered a hasty goodbye, and left as soon I could.
Profoundly disturbed at this point, I took a break from my work to try and drown my fears at a local bar. I was relieved to find respite there, until a garage band that had been hired for live music began to perform a song called "Wake Up Sheeple". This was followed by "Coincidence? We think Not", "The Euro Mafia Is Real", and "Kraken and Kittens Both Have K's In Their Names Which Clearly Makes Them Illuminati". I cringed at every off-tune twang of the guitar and deafening crash of the drum as it became obvious to me that the most politically aware citizens in this region are all members of a band called "See Through The Fluoride Lies".
Readers, I implore you. Please try to figure out what the frick-frack snick-snack paddyshack-caddywack* is going on in your region. I hear that if you scroll down the forums for long enough, there's this mysterious subforum called the "University of Europeia". Legends say it houses the greatest collection of NS literature in the world with which to educate yourself.
But that's just a rumor.
*Author's note: following the recent passing of the Vulgar Language Restriction Act, I have been forced to revert to primitive forms of swearing such as this.
Edited by Sloosh, Dec 7 2015, 07:28 PM.
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Quotes - Ninja Kittens
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RULE #1.) NO HITTING ON SLOOSH
- Ninja Kittens
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Poor Sloosh. Born to party, body can't take it.
- Calvin Coolidge
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Of all the slooshes in the world, you're my favorite.
- Aexnidaral
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awww you have such a cute gayboy voice
- Aexnidaral
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sloosh is the twinkiest cutie
- EuroChat
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[10:00:32 PM] Mouse <3~: sloosh for president! [10:03:43 PM] Theo: Slooshtatorship incoming.
Things I Do  E-Mensa Editor, Faux News Reporter
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Aexnidaral Seymour
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Dec 7 2015, 08:07 PM
Post #2
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Somebody's got to keep you entertained.
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Family, Resume, and Awards Family  The Right Honourable Aexnidaral "Crist" Seymour Somerset

Son of North East Somerset and Rachel Husband of Pichtonia Seymour Somerset, Phantasus Chastain, and Ogastein Father of Isaris, Klatonia, XIV, and America Billiards Brother of JGlenn, Apollo, Brunhilde, and Ninja KittensResume and Awards "... Aex, who is treated like the Europeian version of Nickelback by a lot of people here."
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McEntire
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Dec 7 2015, 08:35 PM
Post #3
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- Quote:
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Profoundly disturbed at this point, I took a break from my work to try and drown my fears at a local bar. I was relieved to find respite there, until a garage band that had been hired for live music began to perform a song called "Wake Up Sheeple". This was followed by "Coincidence? We think Not", "The Euro Mafia Is Real", and "Kraken and Kittens Both Have K's In Their Names Which Clearly Makes Them Illuminati". I cringed at every off-tune twang of the guitar and deafening crash of the drum as it became obvious to me that the most politically aware citizens in this region are all members of a band called "See Through The Fluoride Lies".
I'm so embarrassed you saw my band...
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 McEntire Mormont, son of Common-Sense Politics
Resume Former Speaker of the Senate (3 terms) Former Senator (11 non-consecutive terms) - Deputy Speaker (2 non-consecutive terms) Former Associate Justice of the Europeian Judiciary Former Vice President, Attorney General, and Minister of Foreign Affairs, Interior and Welfare
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Common-Sense Politics
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Dec 7 2015, 09:05 PM
Post #4
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Incapable of Bullshit
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I had fun reading this.
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The Venerable Imperator Common-Sense Politics, ER ESE EBS EOB EC ES OR1-4 Father to McEntire
Chancellory Decorations
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References "CSP is the most influential President, in my opinion. There's something about him. It may be his way with words. It may be his unwavering vision. It may be the gravitas he holds. Whatever it is, the leadership he demonstrates is consistently excellent, bold, and pragmatic" - Writinglegend, longest serving Europeian president
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Fortunado
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Dec 7 2015, 09:35 PM
Post #5
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Sommelier and sacrificer of Individuals To The Old Gods
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The shrieks weren't much... though try not to think about those noises. The mere thoughts of languages not meant to be spoken by mortl tongues have been found to cause mild losses in sanity.
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I consider myself an idealist, mostly because realists are just pessimists who don't do anything. Check out the latest article from the EBC here! 11/12/15
These edges make me bleed! WHY! memories Geneva Convention - Kraken
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I'm pretty sure that violates every clause in the Geneva Convention.
The intent isn't to use him, it is to have him and not use him... very deliberately and clearly not use him, but let everyone know that we could use him if we so wished but we don't want to use him... because everyone is so nice and we appreciate how nice everyone is... :evil:[/quote] cpt.carrot How I host a barbecue with cpt. carrot - Cpt.Carrot
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*twitches* Why is there always someone wanting to eat me (  ) or severly injure me?
Fun for the whole family! I got deep sea friends - kraken
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- Fortunado
- Mar 16 2015, 05:24 AM
I do dabble in inter-dimensional rifts as well. Have you tried going to the void? I own real estate there. Oh! Don't do hell though. Without cell coverage (no cells in hell) you need to get a copy of the necronomicon from Cthulu but he wants item A. and to get A you need to trade for B which you get from another guy for C. One large fetch quest. Do you have vegan interdimensional tears?
I really like this guy
Fun book readings - Quote:
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we have much planning to do for you carrot. you have sealed your fate *begins reading necronomicon. The gates of hell open up go reveal tentacle-like horrors of the deep as they swell up from the grave and drag Cpt.Carrot kicking and screaming. He continues to try and hold on as the written inscriptions from the necronomicon reverberate and echo louder and louder in the sky. The terrors from the deep slowly drain both his willpower but sanity (points) and in a second it is over.* I am beginning to see a beautiful friendship svunbrink. 
Now wasn't that a fun chapter! *looks around to see the audience has turned into shriveled up corpses, All roughly the size of an actual doll. You can see what looks to be dried blood which had previously been running from their eyes, mouth, nose, and ears. They have been dead for a long time.* good when you won Mar 16 2015, 03:23 PM Cpt.Carrot: That is a Fabrication of your twisted and Brilliant (  ) imagination Mar 16 2015, 03:26 PM Fortunado: oh good job patronizing me... but for not conceding anything I might have to send thanatos after you again to literally rip your soul from yo-- yeah you remember what happened. (X) The Kraken-Sloth War - Quote:
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"Thank you for your many posts, Defender of Krakenism." -Kraken
William Farell, Priest Our Google, which art on servers, Hallowed be thy page; Thy domain come, Thy search be done, On Chrome as it is in the cloud. Give us this day our daily lolcats And forgive our trolling, As we forgive those who troll against us; And lead us not into spam, But deliver us from malware. RAMen.
resume Minister of Regional Recruitment Chair of The Assemblysenate aideMember of The AAC ministry of interior and World Assembly diplomat supernatural elements representative of hell Owner of Grape's Fortune realtor in the void
awards citations Gentleman, by Yefumm (current avatar) Edgar Allan Poe Statue, created by Dellamorteco and Abigail Larson Fuzzy Four Eyed Demon, by ARTofANT aka Anthony Diecidue
malashaan the sandslash Support Malashaan the Sandslash, and follow the Pokémon Blue playthrough (click him!) Support Fortunado the Hypno, and follow the Pokémon Blue playthrough (click him!)
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Rand
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Dec 7 2015, 09:48 PM
Post #6
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Some of them call me...
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You didn't actually expect serious answers from EuroChat, did you?
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The Rt. Hon. Rand "Otis" Chastain, ESS EED Former Speaker of the Senate
C.V. 2018 Attorney General (President B----e/Rach, 11/7/2017 - 1/13/2018) 2017 Attorney General (President Cat/Writinglegend, 8/29/17 - 11/6/2017) Associate Justice (04/15/17 - 08/25/17, by President Calvin Coolidge) Minister of Culture (President Writinglegend, 06/25/17 - 08/25/17) Director of the Civil Service Office (Interior, Leo Drakan, 2/24/17 - 04/12/17) Speaker of the Senate (58th Senate, 01/14/17 - 03/04/17) Senator (58th Senate, 12/24/16 - 03/04/17) 2016 Senator (55th Senate By-Election, 7/19/16; 56th Senate, 8/6/16; 57th Senate, 10/16/16) Deputy Speaker of the Senate (Speaker A----a, 57th Senate, Oct. '16 - Dec '16) Minister of the Interior (President Writinglegend, 9/13/16 - 11/19/16) Minister without Portfolio (President HEM, 8/16/16 - 9/10/16) Deputy Speaker of the Senate (Speaker Isaris, 55th Senate) Director of the Civil Service Administration (VP HEM, 07/10/16 - 8/16/16) Europeian Republic Navy, Active Duty Mate (Grand Admiral WritingLegend, 02/09/16) 2015 Senior Deputy Minister of the Interior (Minister Aexnidaral, 02/15/16 - Resigned 3/19/16) Deputy WA Delegate for Communications (Delegate Mousebumples, 12/23/15 - Resigned 3/19/16) Elections Editor for the E-News Network (HEM, 12/21/15 - ?) Deputy Minister of the Interior in charge of Recruitment (Minister Malashaan, 12/06/15 - 02/13/16) Minister of the Interior (Pres. Writinglegend, 9/30/15 - 12/05/15) Deputy Chairman of the Citizens' Assembly (Chair Kuramia, 8/7/15 - 9/22/15) Chairman of the Europeian Imperialist Party Region Inc Chairman of the Board (mixed President / Speaker) Director of Human Resources (mixed Minister of Finance / Chief Justice) R&D Scientist (Forum Admin) Director of Public Relations (Minister of Foreign Affairs) Donate Stamps! Supported the continued growth of the Republic!

Ever noticed those little guys at the bottom of the website? Miscellaneous... Quotes - Drecq
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We can also create a new pronoun that we define as singular and gender neutral. Thing is we slip slightly into orwellian newspeak territory there.
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[12/30/15 22:59:57] Otis: shuf would you still like me if I were a woman [12/30/15 23:00:10] Shuford: hell yes
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[21:05:54] Trinnien Augustan: I heard Calvin was considering, which is why i stopped that bullshit by naming him as my running mate
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You still haven't answered my question.
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Rand receives one CSP cool point. The rest of you have no cool points.
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Does anyone other than the Speaker and Rand have anything to say about this important issue?
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Stupid people. They're so...stupid.
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Rand - Today at 7:01 PM ok now I'm confirmed
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Artwork Verse - Psalm 30:5
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For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

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Calvin Coolidge
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Dec 7 2015, 10:00 PM
Post #7
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☆Kawaii Panda☆
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Sloosh, you're a natural at this.
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 The Panda's Pen is a newspaper I write. All hail Swift.
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zapper
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Dec 7 2015, 11:47 PM
Post #8
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You're great sloosh.
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Kraketopia
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Dec 8 2015, 02:07 AM
Post #9
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Sloosh reminds me of Calvin when he started out.
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C.V.
Past Positions
President - Three
Grand Admiral - Eight
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Three
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Speaker - One
Deputy Speaker - Three
Senator - Seven
Chief Justice - One
Associate Justice - Five
2014 Europeian of the Year
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Lethen
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Dec 8 2015, 03:41 AM
Post #10
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Remember when I was famous? Neither do I.
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- McEntire
- Dec 7 2015, 08:35 PM
- Quote:
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Profoundly disturbed at this point, I took a break from my work to try and drown my fears at a local bar. I was relieved to find respite there, until a garage band that had been hired for live music began to perform a song called "Wake Up Sheeple". This was followed by "Coincidence? We think Not", "The Euro Mafia Is Real", and "Kraken and Kittens Both Have K's In Their Names Which Clearly Makes Them Illuminati". I cringed at every off-tune twang of the guitar and deafening crash of the drum as it became obvious to me that the most politically aware citizens in this region are all members of a band called "See Through The Fluoride Lies".
I'm so embarrassed you saw my band... Who did you have on the drums?
Funny read, btw
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me, basically (click)
A letter to a friend By the Prophetical Blessing of Nethel, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic of Europeia and the states within, Destined Overseer of His rightful yet forgotten realms of Estalcia and Old Europe and Crystal Falls, Defender of the Faith and New Jersey, and Heir to the concept of Sarcasm
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Sloosh
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Dec 8 2015, 06:30 PM
Post #11
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Self-Aware Silly Putty
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- Kraketopia
- Dec 8 2015, 02:07 AM
Sloosh reminds me of Calvin when he started out. I'm gonna take that as a compliment :P
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Quotes - Ninja Kittens
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RULE #1.) NO HITTING ON SLOOSH
- Ninja Kittens
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Poor Sloosh. Born to party, body can't take it.
- Calvin Coolidge
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Of all the slooshes in the world, you're my favorite.
- Aexnidaral
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awww you have such a cute gayboy voice
- Aexnidaral
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sloosh is the twinkiest cutie
- EuroChat
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[10:00:32 PM] Mouse <3~: sloosh for president! [10:03:43 PM] Theo: Slooshtatorship incoming.
Things I Do  E-Mensa Editor, Faux News Reporter
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