|
Why Won't Any Goddamn Citizen Challenge The Goddamn Establishment In This Goddamn Region?; E-Mensa (SATIRE)
|
|
Topic Started: Nov 29 2015, 06:08 AM (279 Views)
|
|
HEM
|
Nov 29 2015, 06:08 AM
Post #1
|
former substitute senator to aexnidaral seymour
- Posts:
- 33,429
- Group:
- Chief Administrator
- Member
- #1
- Joined:
- March 7, 2007
|
 E-Mensa - "The Last Citizen-Activist In Europeia Explodes Because Not A Single Goddamn Citizen Will Challenge The Goddamn Establishment In This Goddamn Region" Written by HEM Tiberius
ENN has just received breaking news, and some would say heartbreaking news. Activist Andrew Cannon Taylor, known fondly by his friends as "ACT," was found exploded into a hundred pieces off Ashedo Street in downtown Arnhelm.
"It was a grisly site to see," Arnhelm Fire Chief Wolf Flame told ENN, "There weren't many pieces larger than an ice cube. The guy just totally combusted. Jesus, some of the people who saw him were kids."
When talking to some of Taylor's friends, we began to piece together what his cause of death was.
"He couldn't stand the political apathy in this region, I'll tell you that," John, a drunken man who refused to provide his surname, told ENN.
"He just really longed for the days where people would stand up to the status quo. He longed for the days of original thought and expression, where everyone wasn't waiting around to be led around on some leash."
"Crazy guy," John concluded. "Something wasn't right in his head, that's for sure."
After wrapping up with John, ENN caught up with Phil Preston, one of Taylor's friends who owns the Street Sweets bakery in the capitol district.
"He wanted to...wanted too, question ideas..." Preston said carefully. "He thought that people should actually run against Kraketopia and try to win...? I mean, I told him that Kraketopia was the establishment candidate and we should always conceed to the establishment, but but he just wouldn't listen --
-- PLEASE PLEASE don't write this story in a way that makes me seem like I agree with his...eccentric ideas. He had a good heart, but you know how bad original thought is for business these days!"
Indeed, in the days before Kraketopia announced a Presidential bid, there looked to be upwards of three different tickets actively seeking the Presidency. For the last few elections serious contenders have been scarce, as the region compliantly fell behind sitting President Writinglegend. We decided to talk to some of the potential "would have been" candidates that folded:
"Well, obviously I wasn't going to challenge Kraketopia," Alfred Davis said. "He is the establishment candidate. When I considered running, I didn't know the establishment would field someone. There's no point in proposing new ideas, none of mine will be as good as Kraketopia's! I love Kraketopia! He has been the best Grand Admiral ever!"
Sean Donovan had a similar response: "Yeah, I was thinking about a run. But why challenge the old timers? I know greatness has been achieved by those who dared to stand up and fight for their ideas, but tbh I'm too lazy. Sorry I can't chat more, I have a spam thread to get back to."
"I'm definitely voting for Kraketopia," Sam Watson, who was previously forming a Presidential exploratory committee, told ENN. "I just bought a dozen Kraketopia / Trinnien buttons! There's nobody I trust to uphold the weary status quo than someone who has already done the job -- unless Writinglegend is seeking another term of course!"
"What Europeia needs is the stalest elections, filled with the most typical candidates, and comprising no elements of suspense or excitement," an excerpt from the Daily Europeian's unconditional endorsement of Kraketopia said, leading a few in our editorial staff to wonder if maybe the region should, in the spirit of Andrew Taylor, take a few more risks and pose some new ideas -- before quickly coming to our senses, of course.
Mr. Taylor is survived by his brother Anon Taylor, and mother Sarah Anumia-Taylor. A memorial service will be held in the Church of Swift, December 1st at Noon. In lieu of flowers, the family asks the people of Europeia to wake up and take some goddamn risks.
This was a fake report published by the E-News Network through the E-Mensa, which is the satirical arm of ENN Inc. This article does not represent the views of any institution or individual in the Europeian government. ENN Inc. is a private entity with no government involvement.
All the content in this article is satire. Any questions or concerns may be directed to HEM Tiberius, Publisher and Producer of The E-News Network, and President of ENN Inc..
|
HEM Board Owner | http://s6.zetaboards.com/Europeia Discord Owner | Europeia's Server
|
| |
|
Anumia
|
Nov 29 2015, 01:46 PM
Post #2
|
Anumia Novo Spiritus
- Posts:
- 29,038
- Group:
- Banned
- Member
- #31
- Joined:
- April 15, 2007
|
I'm sensing some sort of point being lightly gestured towards here...
|
|
Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
-
Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
|
| |
|
Cpt.Carrot
|
Nov 29 2015, 02:04 PM
Post #3
|
Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company "B"
- Posts:
- 7,673
- Group:
- Citizen
- Member
- #3,084
- Joined:
- March 4, 2013
|
- Anumia
- Nov 29 2015, 01:46 PM
I'm sensing some sort of point being lightly gestured towards here... you may be onto something... although this is HEM, he could be planning to delete the EBC, again.
|
Drummer Captain Carrot!  "Though I try to cheer my comrades and be gay." HEM be sillyMy reputation & other quotes That's right Hodge-podge of stuff Some funny things that caught my attention - Lao-Tzu
-
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence
- Quote:
-
"Tell me, is there anything worn under the kilt?" "No, lassie, it's all in good working order!"
Motivations Desiderata ~ By Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - By Max Ehrmann The Thousanth Man ~ Rudyard Kipling 0NE man in a thousand, Solomon says. Will stick more close than a brother. And it's worth while seeking him half your days If you find him before the other. Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend On what the world sees in you, But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend With the whole round world agin you.
'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show Will settle the finding for 'ee. Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.
But if he finds you and you find him, The rest of the world don't matter; For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim With you in any water.
You can use his purse with no more talk Than he uses yours for his spendings, And laugh and meet in your daily walk As though there had been no lendings.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call For silver and gold in their dealings; But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all Because you can show him your feelings.
His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right, In season or out of season. Stand up and back it in all men's sight With that for your only reason!
Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide The shame or mocking or laughter, But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side To the gallows-foot - and after!
"Get these Motherfucking Anumias out of my Motherfucking region!" - Noto, whilst operating heavy weaponry during the June 2016 Civil War
|
| |
|
Mousebumples
|
Nov 29 2015, 02:51 PM
Post #4
|
If you give this mouse a cookie, she'll probably ask for some cheese.
- Posts:
- 16,305
- Group:
- Citizen
- Member
- #1,739
- Joined:
- April 19, 2011
|
Yay for enn election coverage!
|


Europeian Awards Nation Details UN/WA Resolutions I've Passed Quotes "There are infinite Mousebumple s." - Common-Sense Politics [ Source]
|
| |
|
HEM
|
Nov 29 2015, 04:14 PM
Post #5
|
former substitute senator to aexnidaral seymour
- Posts:
- 33,429
- Group:
- Chief Administrator
- Member
- #1
- Joined:
- March 7, 2007
|
- Anumia
- Nov 29 2015, 01:46 PM
I'm sensing some sort of point being lightly gestured towards here... Eh, don't look too deeply into it, old man.
|
HEM Board Owner | http://s6.zetaboards.com/Europeia Discord Owner | Europeia's Server
|
| |
|
Kraketopia
|
Nov 29 2015, 09:12 PM
Post #6
|
- Posts:
- 9,391
- Group:
- Honored Citizen
- Member
- #3,484
- Joined:
- October 23, 2013
|
|
  


C.V.
Past Positions
President - Three
Grand Admiral - Eight
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Three
Minister of Communications - Two
Speaker - One
Deputy Speaker - Three
Senator - Seven
Chief Justice - One
Associate Justice - Five
2014 Europeian of the Year
|
| |
|
GraVandius
|
Nov 29 2015, 09:19 PM
Post #7
|
The Senate
- Posts:
- 8,388
- Group:
- Cabinet
- Member
- #4,682
- Joined:
- June 30, 2015
|
|
Europeian Resume Senator (x3) Speaker (x1) Deputy Speaker (x1) Minister of Communications (x1) Minister of Interior (x1) Deputy Minister of Interior (x5) Citizens Assembly Chair (x3) Deputy Chair of Citizens Assembly (x2) Law Clerk Deputy Director of ECP (x2) Founder of EPP EPP Party Chairman (X1) EPP Party President (x1) ACE Vice-Chair (x1) Press Secretary of ACE (x1) Senate Aide to Malashaan
Roles Abroad Balder Sorting (x2) Minister of Integration (x1) Deputy Minister of Integration and Recruitment (x1)
Spiritus RA Representative (x4) RA Speaker (x1)
Equalism Mayor x1
|    |  
Ministry Based Awards Interior Culture  -EuroOlympics Wrestling Bronze  -EuroOlympics Snowflake  Navy Operations Communications |
|
| |
|
HEM
|
Nov 29 2015, 11:15 PM
Post #8
|
former substitute senator to aexnidaral seymour
- Posts:
- 33,429
- Group:
- Chief Administrator
- Member
- #1
- Joined:
- March 7, 2007
|
- Kraketopia
- Nov 29 2015, 09:12 PM
|
HEM Board Owner | http://s6.zetaboards.com/Europeia Discord Owner | Europeia's Server
|
| |
|
Common-Sense Politics
|
Nov 30 2015, 12:29 AM
Post #9
|
Incapable of Bullshit
- Posts:
- 16,716
- Group:
- Honored Citizen
- Member
- #878
- Joined:
- September 28, 2009
|
This might have worked. I look forward to seeing NK's platform.
|
The Venerable Imperator Common-Sense Politics, ER ESE EBS EOB EC ES OR1-4 Father to McEntire
Chancellory Decorations
Presidential Decorations
Resume Former President x4 Former Vice President x3 Former Grand Admiral x14 Former Minister of Foreign Affairs x6 Former Chief of Staff Former Minister of Communications Former Minister of Foreign Cultivation Former Minister without Portfolio Former Attorney General x2 Former Deputy Minister of Welfare Former Senate Speaker x2 Former Senator x11 Former Associate Justice x2
References "CSP is the most influential President, in my opinion. There's something about him. It may be his way with words. It may be his unwavering vision. It may be the gravitas he holds. Whatever it is, the leadership he demonstrates is consistently excellent, bold, and pragmatic" - Writinglegend, longest serving Europeian president
|
| |
|
McEntire
|
Nov 30 2015, 04:10 AM
Post #10
|
- Posts:
- 3,870
- Group:
- Non-Citizen
- Member
- #473
- Joined:
- November 27, 2008
|
What are you talking about? This region loves unconventional ideas! (~sarcasm~)
|
 McEntire Mormont, son of Common-Sense Politics
Resume Former Speaker of the Senate (3 terms) Former Senator (11 non-consecutive terms) - Deputy Speaker (2 non-consecutive terms) Former Associate Justice of the Europeian Judiciary Former Vice President, Attorney General, and Minister of Foreign Affairs, Interior and Welfare
|
| |
|
HEM
|
Nov 30 2015, 07:19 AM
Post #11
|
former substitute senator to aexnidaral seymour
- Posts:
- 33,429
- Group:
- Chief Administrator
- Member
- #1
- Joined:
- March 7, 2007
|
- McEntire
- Nov 30 2015, 04:10 AM
What are you talking about? This region loves unconventional ideas! (~sarcasm~) I love you.
|
HEM Board Owner | http://s6.zetaboards.com/Europeia Discord Owner | Europeia's Server
|
| |
|
Anumia
|
Nov 30 2015, 06:46 PM
Post #12
|
Anumia Novo Spiritus
- Posts:
- 29,038
- Group:
- Banned
- Member
- #31
- Joined:
- April 15, 2007
|
- HEM
- Nov 29 2015, 04:14 PM
- Anumia
- Nov 29 2015, 01:46 PM
I'm sensing some sort of point being lightly gestured towards here...
Eh, don't look too deeply into it, old man. I -am- awfully tired, these days.
|
|
Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
-
Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
|
| |
|
Anumia
|
Nov 30 2015, 06:46 PM
Post #13
|
Anumia Novo Spiritus
- Posts:
- 29,038
- Group:
- Banned
- Member
- #31
- Joined:
- April 15, 2007
|
- McEntire
- Nov 30 2015, 04:10 AM
What are you talking about? This region loves unconventional ideas! (~sarcasm~) When they're good
|
|
Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
-
Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
|
| |
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
|