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Faux News: Sopo's Scandalous Secrets; The Truth About Our President's Private Parts
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Topic Started: Mar 10 2015, 05:30 PM (158 Views)
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Calvin Coolidge
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Mar 10 2015, 05:30 PM
Post #1
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☆Kawaii Panda☆
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After several months of undercover work that may or may not have been under some covers in various beds throughout the Goldenblock, my apologies to Mousebumples and her various Vice-Presidents, this reporter found numerous secrets just screaming to be released, much like numerous Vice-Presidents from last term. For your reading pleasure, the most controversial secrets focus squarely on our Pervert-in-Chief, President Sopo, who has been discovered to have a secret love affair with Supreme Chancellor Lethen.
While digging around the Wellbeing Hub, outside the Nethelian Temple, I tracked down World Assembly Delegate Mousebumples, who had this to say, “I’d always show up for the weekly Nethel meetings, on-time, ready to discuss the wise words of our Holy One, but recently whenever I’d show up, Sopo would tell me to wait outside the door. Soon after, I would usually hear hushed giggles, and some heavy thumping. The last time this happened, Lethen walked out with a slight limp, wiping his mouth. At that point, I converted to Swiftism and never looked back.”
Sensing that this problem went all the way to the top, this reporter went to the Goldenblock to speak to any member of the Executive that was willing. I met with Culture Minister Ninja Kittens who said, “Sopo’s been acting really weird lately, actually. I’ve been trying to set up this book club, so we can discuss high quality literature around here for once, but every time I go to Sopo for suggestions, he always tells me that the suggestion box wants “Clifford the Big Red Dong”. I mean, technically there’s no way I can prove him wrong, since nobody else can see the box, but that sounds a little suspicious. Not that anybody else wants to check the box for submissions. Especially when you consider all the times I’ve walked in on him with the box in his lap, his pants down, and something shoved into the insert slot. He always gets so flustered and sweaty, it just creeps me out.”
Lastly, we here at Faux News have uncovered Cabinet Chat leaked logs from an anonymous Minister that paints a picture of the President he might not want getting out. After digging through numerous logs of Foreign Affairs Minister Calvin Coolidge awkwardly making passes at former East Pacific Delegate Xoriet, we found numerous penis-related phrases attributed to the President. It would seem he frequently conducts Cabinet meetings in the nude, and asks that all conversation be directed at his genitals, which he has named “Nethel”. There’s a particularly awkward section where he makes all Cabinet members swear allegiance to Nethel, but unfortunately PhDre has cracked down on us for leaking classified information, so that will be the end of this report. In conclusion, Europeia, you have elected a pervert, and I hope you’re happy with yourselves.
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 The Panda's Pen is a newspaper I write. All hail Swift.
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Anumia
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Mar 10 2015, 05:49 PM
Post #2
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Anumia Novo Spiritus
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Laying it on a bit thick, methinks
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Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
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Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
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PASD
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Mar 10 2015, 05:50 PM
Post #3
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Consol Energy
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How are these secrets. I thought we all knew these already.
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Former President of Europeia
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Calvin Coolidge
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Mar 10 2015, 05:52 PM
Post #4
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☆Kawaii Panda☆
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- Anumia
- Mar 10 2015, 05:49 PM
Laying it on a bit thick, methinks So was Sopo. EYEBROWSFACE
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 The Panda's Pen is a newspaper I write. All hail Swift.
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Shin
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Mar 10 2015, 05:54 PM
Post #5
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Making the whole world smile
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Cpt.Carrot
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Mar 10 2015, 06:18 PM
Post #6
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Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company "B"
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Poor Mousey.
Cal that was the disturbing and after what happened between you and Hyanygo...
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Drummer Captain Carrot!  "Though I try to cheer my comrades and be gay." HEM be sillyMy reputation & other quotes That's right Hodge-podge of stuff Some funny things that caught my attention - Lao-Tzu
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It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence
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"Tell me, is there anything worn under the kilt?" "No, lassie, it's all in good working order!"
Motivations Desiderata ~ By Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - By Max Ehrmann The Thousanth Man ~ Rudyard Kipling 0NE man in a thousand, Solomon says. Will stick more close than a brother. And it's worth while seeking him half your days If you find him before the other. Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend On what the world sees in you, But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend With the whole round world agin you.
'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show Will settle the finding for 'ee. Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.
But if he finds you and you find him, The rest of the world don't matter; For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim With you in any water.
You can use his purse with no more talk Than he uses yours for his spendings, And laugh and meet in your daily walk As though there had been no lendings.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call For silver and gold in their dealings; But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all Because you can show him your feelings.
His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right, In season or out of season. Stand up and back it in all men's sight With that for your only reason!
Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide The shame or mocking or laughter, But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side To the gallows-foot - and after!
"Get these Motherfucking Anumias out of my Motherfucking region!" - Noto, whilst operating heavy weaponry during the June 2016 Civil War
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Kraketopia
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Mar 10 2015, 06:35 PM
Post #7
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- Anumia
- Mar 10 2015, 05:49 PM
Laying it on a bit thick, methinks This is a lot more based in reality than you'd think
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C.V.
Past Positions
President - Three
Grand Admiral - Eight
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Three
Minister of Communications - Two
Speaker - One
Deputy Speaker - Three
Senator - Seven
Chief Justice - One
Associate Justice - Five
2014 Europeian of the Year
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Sopo
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Mar 10 2015, 06:40 PM
Post #8
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Lord High Chancellor Emeritus
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 The Right Honorable Sopo Associate Administrator for Discord - High Priest of Nethel - Lord High Chancellor EmeritusMore Info I once was... Lord High Chancellor and Heir Apparent ~ 26th, 32nd, and 42nd President ~ Speaker of the 27th Senate Vice President ~ Minister of Radio ~ Attorney General ~ Minister of Foreign Affairs ~ Minister of Culture ~ Minister of Welfare ~ Chair of the Citizens' AssemblyClan  Clan Chastain Sopo (Chief), Netz, Marnip, WestGuam, Rand, GraVandius, and AramorAll Hail Nethel, Praise Be Unto Him  I am the High Priest Join the Movement Gaze Upon the Truth Offer Your Prayers
"I am an enigma, I accept that. I understand that the pages of history do not have room for every man, for every dream, or for every brother. I know that deep down, but I wish it were otherwise every so often." ~ The Fourth Book of Nethel
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Ninja Kittens
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Mar 10 2015, 08:23 PM
Post #9
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Beautiful Stranger
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- July 14, 2014
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 You must be imaginative and strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work. You must not let others define your limits, because your only limits are your soul.
signature 


   CV Europeia: Former Senator Former Deputy Minister of the Interior Former Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs Former Deputy Minister of Culture Former Minister of Culture Former Chairwoman of the Citizens' Assembly x2 Former Senator Aide x3 Former Ambassador to Osiris Former Ambassador to Balder Former Ensign of the ERN
The Universal Allegiance: Former World Assembly Delegate x5 Former Minister of the Armed Forces x3 Director of the Universal Allegiance Marine Corps Former Minister of Foreign Affairs x5 Former Supreme Chancellor x1 Former Member of the Ruling Council x11 Veteran of The Allegiance
Ainur: Former Senator Former Speaker of the Senate
Osiris: Former Councillor of the Deshret
Balder: Former MP in the Storting
Lazarus: Daughter of Fenghuang Former WA Delegate Former LLA Guard Former Grand Advisor Former Director of Ceremonies
Family Daughter of Rachel Eriksen Sister of JGlenn, Aexnidaral, Apollo, and Shin Mother of Sloosh.
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Mousebumples
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Mar 11 2015, 05:06 AM
Post #10
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If you give this mouse a cookie, she'll probably ask for some cheese.
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LIES!
I will never convert to Swiftism!
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Europeian Awards Nation Details UN/WA Resolutions I've Passed Quotes "There are infinite Mousebumple s." - Common-Sense Politics [ Source]
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Cpt.Carrot
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Mar 11 2015, 04:20 PM
Post #11
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Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company "B"
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- Mousebumples
- Mar 11 2015, 05:06 AM
LIES! I will never convert to Swiftism!  Good! now we just need to break you of Nethelism and bring you back to the ways of the loaded baked potato
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Drummer Captain Carrot!  "Though I try to cheer my comrades and be gay." HEM be sillyMy reputation & other quotes That's right Hodge-podge of stuff Some funny things that caught my attention - Lao-Tzu
-
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence
- Quote:
-
"Tell me, is there anything worn under the kilt?" "No, lassie, it's all in good working order!"
Motivations Desiderata ~ By Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - By Max Ehrmann The Thousanth Man ~ Rudyard Kipling 0NE man in a thousand, Solomon says. Will stick more close than a brother. And it's worth while seeking him half your days If you find him before the other. Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend On what the world sees in you, But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend With the whole round world agin you.
'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show Will settle the finding for 'ee. Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.
But if he finds you and you find him, The rest of the world don't matter; For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim With you in any water.
You can use his purse with no more talk Than he uses yours for his spendings, And laugh and meet in your daily walk As though there had been no lendings.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call For silver and gold in their dealings; But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all Because you can show him your feelings.
His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right, In season or out of season. Stand up and back it in all men's sight With that for your only reason!
Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide The shame or mocking or laughter, But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side To the gallows-foot - and after!
"Get these Motherfucking Anumias out of my Motherfucking region!" - Noto, whilst operating heavy weaponry during the June 2016 Civil War
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Lethen
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Mar 11 2015, 05:01 PM
Post #12
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Remember when I was famous? Neither do I.
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I was walking with a limp because I tripped leaving Sopo's office. I swear that's why!
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me, basically (click)
A letter to a friend By the Prophetical Blessing of Nethel, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic of Europeia and the states within, Destined Overseer of His rightful yet forgotten realms of Estalcia and Old Europe and Crystal Falls, Defender of the Faith and New Jersey, and Heir to the concept of Sarcasm
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Cpt.Carrot
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Mar 14 2015, 04:49 PM
Post #13
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Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company "B"
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- Lethen
- Mar 11 2015, 05:01 PM
I was walking with a limp because I tripped leaving Sopo's office. I swear that's why! Why were you wiping your mouth?
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Drummer Captain Carrot!  "Though I try to cheer my comrades and be gay." HEM be sillyMy reputation & other quotes That's right Hodge-podge of stuff Some funny things that caught my attention - Lao-Tzu
-
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence
- Quote:
-
"Tell me, is there anything worn under the kilt?" "No, lassie, it's all in good working order!"
Motivations Desiderata ~ By Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - By Max Ehrmann The Thousanth Man ~ Rudyard Kipling 0NE man in a thousand, Solomon says. Will stick more close than a brother. And it's worth while seeking him half your days If you find him before the other. Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend On what the world sees in you, But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend With the whole round world agin you.
'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show Will settle the finding for 'ee. Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.
But if he finds you and you find him, The rest of the world don't matter; For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim With you in any water.
You can use his purse with no more talk Than he uses yours for his spendings, And laugh and meet in your daily walk As though there had been no lendings.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call For silver and gold in their dealings; But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all Because you can show him your feelings.
His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right, In season or out of season. Stand up and back it in all men's sight With that for your only reason!
Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide The shame or mocking or laughter, But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side To the gallows-foot - and after!
"Get these Motherfucking Anumias out of my Motherfucking region!" - Noto, whilst operating heavy weaponry during the June 2016 Civil War
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