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Faux News: WL Isn't Running Interior/Anumia's Crotch Ants
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Topic Started: Dec 23 2014, 07:33 PM (187 Views)
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Kraketopia
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Dec 23 2014, 07:33 PM
Post #1
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Rach Was Right: Writinglegend Isn't Running Interior, Political Suicide Imminent
For a long time now the Europeian public has speculated that the Ministry of Interior hasn't been run by it's new ministers, but rather by an old member that simply refuses to stop performing the duties they perfected terms ago. Cpt. Carrot suffered from such stifling oversight, and Rach correctly predicted that Writinglegend would follow suit. Eager beaver Writinglegend posted a a vigorous beginning of term speech that tried to assuage concerns over his actual participation in the Ministry, but Faux News sources have revealed that his role is actually no more than Wal Mart greeter.
A source who wishes to remain undisclosed, but was paid for her interview in cheese, stated "Writinglegend may talk a big deal about reforms for the Ministry and what he plans to do, but Drecq is the one still running the show. Nobody can run his patented Punch A Newcomer in the Face program like he can, and he won't allow anyone else to take over. Yesterday Writinglegend tried to punch a newcomer in the face, but the newcomer barely felt it. Then Drecq stormed over, double punched Writinglegend in the face, called him a noob, and proceeded to punch the actual newcomer so hard she landed square in the EAAC. We're expecting she'll be next term's MoFA. I'd express sympathy over the position I put Writinglegend in but let's be honest, the region had to choose between him and Calvin at some point. Having two identical people in two identical positions was getting confusing. Poor Malashaan had to take three aspirin last week when I tried explaining to him the differences between the two."
Faux News contacted Calvin Coolidge for comment, being the other twin, but he declined an interview, stating "I'm sorry, I only actually do these things when I'm the one writing them. I'm not very good at being written by other people."
So far no comment from the Minister himself, Writinglegend, but sobbing has been heard coming from his office in the MoI, and the Minister has been seen reading Albert Camus's The Myth of Sisyphus.
Anumia Gets Crotch Ants
While participating in the Liberation of Anne Frank, Anumia was attacked not by Nazis, but a far worse foe, crotch ants. It is unsure whether the ants were trained by Nazis as some part of insectoid cavalry, or if they were some kind of new sexual disease he picked up in further expanding his already gargantuan family. Needless to say the marble statue is currently in quarantine while his infected area awaits treatment. Rumor has it that after being exposed to his corrosive ego for so long, the crotch ants have become faithful, and are now worshiping his "mini statue" as a deity.
Editor's Note: The Anumia story is actually true. At least the part about his crotch being attacked by an ant during the liberation
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C.V.
Past Positions
President - Three
Grand Admiral - Eight
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Three
Minister of Communications - Two
Speaker - One
Deputy Speaker - Three
Senator - Seven
Chief Justice - One
Associate Justice - Five
2014 Europeian of the Year
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Drecq
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Dec 23 2014, 07:36 PM
Post #2
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EMPEROR OF THAT PLACE OVER THERE, RULER OF THINGS AND PEOPLES, BREEZEBORN, MOTHER OF LIZARDS
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As programmers say (or at least they do in Germany but I suspect there will be a similar saying in English):"You don't get rid of a functioning system."
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The Ven. Drecq ER ES ES ESH EEQ EED OR4 OR3 WE3


 Presidential Awards Order of Republica
 | Order of Senatia (Awarded twice)
  | Order of Equity
 | Order of Scholarship
 | Order of Edification
 | Order of Community Third and Fourth Class
  | Order of Welcoming Third Class
 | Order of Dedication
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Current Positions Vice Chancellor of Europeia Attorney General of Europeia Senate Clerk Captain of the Europeian Republican Navy -Reserve Member of the Europeian Bar Association Past Positions Speaker of the Europeian Senate Deputy Speaker of the Europeian Senate Senator of the Europeian Senate Chief Justice of the Europeian High Court Primus Inter Pares of the Europeian High Court Associate Justice of the Europeian High Court Vice President of Europeia Minister of the Interior Minister of Citizenship Integration Grand Admiral of the Europeian Republican Navy Deputy Minister of Foreign Cultivation Deputy Minister of Citizenship Integration
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Malashaan
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Dec 23 2014, 07:40 PM
Post #3
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Supreme Malassimo
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Marvelous.
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 Decorations Awards Resume Europeia Forum Administrator Ensign in the Europeian Republican Navy Former President x2 Former Senate Speaker x12 Former Chief Justice Former World Assembly Delegate Former Vice President x7 Former Primus Inter Pares Former Attorney General x8 Former Minister of Culture Former Minister of Foreign Cultivation Former Interior Minister x2 Former World Assembly Minister Former Senator x15 Former Associate Justice x4 Democrats Former President Former Vice President Former Prime Minister Former Speak of the House x5 Former Minister of Interior Affairs x2 Former Chief of Staff Former Secretary of State New Valencia Constitutional Framer and Founding Member Loremia Constitutional Framer and Founder - Cerian Quilor
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I personally look forward to the Maltatorship in the Speakership..
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Brunhilde
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Dec 23 2014, 07:45 PM
Post #4
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Ms. Bombastic
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- Drecq
- Dec 23 2014, 07:36 PM
As programmers say (or at least they do in Germany but I suspect there will be a similar saying in English):"You don't get rid of a functioning system." It is "Don't fix it if it isn't broken."
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banned)[big Most Influential Gameplayer of 2016[/big][/big] [/center] What others have to say about me: "Brunhilde is best Hilde." - Shin "I fall more in love with you every day." - CSP "If anything Brun is spiderman. Sassy by night and a nerd by day. :P" - Drecq "I have three children and if I can raise just one of them to be more like Brunhilde and less like Sygian I'll consider myself a successful parent." - Scardino "Brunhilde is a rock star." - Skizzy Grey Europeian Awards Order of the Olive Branch for outstanding or distinguished service in foreign affairs.

| Order of Dedication for going above and beyond the normal calls of service in the Government.

| Order of the Sapphire Star for excellence in a range of ministries.

| Order of the Bronze Star for long and distinguished service in Cabinet.
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Sopo
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Dec 23 2014, 07:50 PM
Post #5
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Lord High Chancellor Emeritus
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"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
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 The Right Honorable Sopo Associate Administrator for Discord - High Priest of Nethel - Lord High Chancellor EmeritusMore Info I once was... Lord High Chancellor and Heir Apparent ~ 26th, 32nd, and 42nd President ~ Speaker of the 27th Senate Vice President ~ Minister of Radio ~ Attorney General ~ Minister of Foreign Affairs ~ Minister of Culture ~ Minister of Welfare ~ Chair of the Citizens' AssemblyClan  Clan Chastain Sopo (Chief), Netz, Marnip, WestGuam, Rand, GraVandius, and AramorAll Hail Nethel, Praise Be Unto Him  I am the High Priest Join the Movement Gaze Upon the Truth Offer Your Prayers
"I am an enigma, I accept that. I understand that the pages of history do not have room for every man, for every dream, or for every brother. I know that deep down, but I wish it were otherwise every so often." ~ The Fourth Book of Nethel
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Anumia
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Dec 23 2014, 07:55 PM
Post #6
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Anumia Novo Spiritus
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One bloody ant *mutters*
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Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
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Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
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Calvin Coolidge
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Dec 23 2014, 08:08 PM
Post #7
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☆Kawaii Panda☆
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- Quote:
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Faux News contacted Calvin Coolidge for comment, being the other twin, but he declined an interview, stating "I'm sorry, I only actually do these things when I'm the one writing them. I'm not very good at being written by other people." I wish I could reply to this, but I'm not writing the article, so I'm at a loss for words... apparently.
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 The Panda's Pen is a newspaper I write. All hail Swift.
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Cpt.Carrot
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Dec 23 2014, 08:21 PM
Post #8
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Boogy Woogy Bugle Boy of Company "B"
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When they say someone has their nose out of joint after arguing with Drecq, they are telling the absolute truth!
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Drummer Captain Carrot!  "Though I try to cheer my comrades and be gay." HEM be sillyMy reputation & other quotes That's right Hodge-podge of stuff Some funny things that caught my attention - Lao-Tzu
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It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize that there can be value in solving problems without using violence
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"Tell me, is there anything worn under the kilt?" "No, lassie, it's all in good working order!"
Motivations Desiderata ~ By Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - By Max Ehrmann The Thousanth Man ~ Rudyard Kipling 0NE man in a thousand, Solomon says. Will stick more close than a brother. And it's worth while seeking him half your days If you find him before the other. Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend On what the world sees in you, But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend With the whole round world agin you.
'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show Will settle the finding for 'ee. Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.
But if he finds you and you find him, The rest of the world don't matter; For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim With you in any water.
You can use his purse with no more talk Than he uses yours for his spendings, And laugh and meet in your daily walk As though there had been no lendings.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call For silver and gold in their dealings; But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all Because you can show him your feelings.
His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right, In season or out of season. Stand up and back it in all men's sight With that for your only reason!
Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide The shame or mocking or laughter, But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side To the gallows-foot - and after!
"Get these Motherfucking Anumias out of my Motherfucking region!" - Noto, whilst operating heavy weaponry during the June 2016 Civil War
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Ninja Kittens
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Dec 24 2014, 03:20 AM
Post #9
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Beautiful Stranger
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- Anumia
- Dec 23 2014, 07:55 PM
One bloody ant *mutters* The ant was bloody!?
That sounds much more serious. D:
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 You must be imaginative and strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work. You must not let others define your limits, because your only limits are your soul.
signature 


   CV Europeia: Former Senator Former Deputy Minister of the Interior Former Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs Former Deputy Minister of Culture Former Minister of Culture Former Chairwoman of the Citizens' Assembly x2 Former Senator Aide x3 Former Ambassador to Osiris Former Ambassador to Balder Former Ensign of the ERN
The Universal Allegiance: Former World Assembly Delegate x5 Former Minister of the Armed Forces x3 Director of the Universal Allegiance Marine Corps Former Minister of Foreign Affairs x5 Former Supreme Chancellor x1 Former Member of the Ruling Council x11 Veteran of The Allegiance
Ainur: Former Senator Former Speaker of the Senate
Osiris: Former Councillor of the Deshret
Balder: Former MP in the Storting
Lazarus: Daughter of Fenghuang Former WA Delegate Former LLA Guard Former Grand Advisor Former Director of Ceremonies
Family Daughter of Rachel Eriksen Sister of JGlenn, Aexnidaral, Apollo, and Shin Mother of Sloosh.
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Brunhilde
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Dec 24 2014, 03:45 AM
Post #10
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Ms. Bombastic
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I feel bad for the ant.
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banned)[big Most Influential Gameplayer of 2016[/big][/big] [/center] What others have to say about me: "Brunhilde is best Hilde." - Shin "I fall more in love with you every day." - CSP "If anything Brun is spiderman. Sassy by night and a nerd by day. :P" - Drecq "I have three children and if I can raise just one of them to be more like Brunhilde and less like Sygian I'll consider myself a successful parent." - Scardino "Brunhilde is a rock star." - Skizzy Grey Europeian Awards Order of the Olive Branch for outstanding or distinguished service in foreign affairs.

| Order of Dedication for going above and beyond the normal calls of service in the Government.

| Order of the Sapphire Star for excellence in a range of ministries.

| Order of the Bronze Star for long and distinguished service in Cabinet.
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Anumia
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Dec 24 2014, 06:07 AM
Post #11
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Anumia Novo Spiritus
- Posts:
- 29,038
- Group:
- Banned
- Member
- #31
- Joined:
- April 15, 2007
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I certainly killed it once it was safe to move (once the military op was finished).
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Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
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Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
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Kraketopia
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Dec 24 2014, 06:11 AM
Post #12
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- Posts:
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- Honored Citizen
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- #3,484
- Joined:
- October 23, 2013
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- Anumia
- Dec 24 2014, 06:07 AM
I certainly killed it once it was safe to move (once the military op was finished). That's commitment.
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C.V.
Past Positions
President - Three
Grand Admiral - Eight
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Three
Minister of Communications - Two
Speaker - One
Deputy Speaker - Three
Senator - Seven
Chief Justice - One
Associate Justice - Five
2014 Europeian of the Year
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Anumia
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Dec 24 2014, 06:12 AM
Post #13
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Anumia Novo Spiritus
- Posts:
- 29,038
- Group:
- Banned
- Member
- #31
- Joined:
- April 15, 2007
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Was first in, too, so it was worth it.
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Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
-
Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
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Kraketopia
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Dec 24 2014, 06:38 AM
Post #14
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- Posts:
- 9,391
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- Honored Citizen
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- Joined:
- October 23, 2013
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- Anumia
- Dec 24 2014, 06:12 AM
Was first in, too, so it was worth it. First in, sounds like how you got these crotch ants in the first place
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C.V.
Past Positions
President - Three
Grand Admiral - Eight
Minister of Foreign Affairs - Three
Minister of Communications - Two
Speaker - One
Deputy Speaker - Three
Senator - Seven
Chief Justice - One
Associate Justice - Five
2014 Europeian of the Year
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Anumia
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Dec 24 2014, 06:56 AM
Post #15
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Anumia Novo Spiritus
- Posts:
- 29,038
- Group:
- Banned
- Member
- #31
- Joined:
- April 15, 2007
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Anumia beats Kraken with a stick
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Signature The One. The Allfather.-- "He stood with his head held high, critics screaming, and did what he truly felt was best for Europeia." - Common-Sense Politics He's the only person in NationStates who can successfully combine outrageous pomposity with a real support for democracy. - Indycar Racing Do I really need to talk about Anumia? The guy can write like Shakespeare, think like Socrates, and I learned on EuroChat yesterday that he can sing too. I bet he's hung like a bull moose. - Common-Sense Politics Anumia, you have a great mind. - Lethen Someone like Anumia only comes around once in a while. - Kabanatuanistan To be perfectly honest, I'm just going to trust Anumia and approve - Falconias I saw your amendment and wondered whether I had died and gone to heaven. It's beautiful. - Swakistek This is why we should all listen to Anumia. Clearly he is a god amongst men. - Fortana | You are not all knowing. You are not all powerful. You are not Anumia. - Griff I have the greatest respect for Anumia - don't let this thread fool you - but I wish he'd stop winning. - Hyanygo Actually, Hy, the things I wanted to say were: Go Anumia! I love Anumia! - Lethen Anumia with whatever power I have I hereby declare you the winner of everything, forever. - Fortana Long live the Emperor! All Hail Anumia, King of Kings! - Peaceful Llamas How about we realize democracy here is flawed and we make Anumia our dictator? - karthikking I agree with you, Anumia, as all Europeians should. - Swakistek To be honest I'm just going to vote whatever way Anumia votes. - Fortana |
Awards I fought in the Osiris Campaign.
  Amusing Quotes - Quote:
-
Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:36 AM): I need you Sai'on'ay the Light Elf (Shower) says (7:37 AM): For? Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:37 AM): an Anumia vs Anumia debate  Olde Delaware: AE, The Devil's Game, SPC, NS says (7:38 AM): Were doing a 4 part debating series with Europeia and Rougiers brought up doing a "Anumia vs Anumia" debate I want you to be our Anumia
- Klatonia,Jul 5 2011
- 04:03 AM
Drop dead, Dre.
- Lethen
- Aug 15 2013, 03:00 AM
You think I fact-check the shit I say? 
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