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A New Political Society: Hellfire & Rainbows
Topic Started: Dec 16 2016, 06:41 PM (264 Views)
Aexnidaral Seymour
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The Hellfire & Rainbows Club

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Forum Description:
[tab]A society for the grooming of young Europeians into proper members of the political elite.[/tab]

Mission Statement:

The Hellfire & Rainbows Club exists to train the next generation of political elite within Europeia; we will do this with the exclusive use of our three point training system for political excellence. We will not teach you such outdated notions as posting platforms and having opinions on things, those are matters for lesser Europeians to concern themselves with. As a member of the political elite of Europeia we will instead focus on teaching you the three skills that every good Europeian politician needs to know: Discrediting the opposition, playing the victim, and Copy/Pasting.

D.t.O.:
[tab]All sharp politicians know that having opinions on things like Independence and Integration are the surest ways to drum up opposition; so you will have none of that. Instead we will focus on teaching you several effective prescripted insults that are sure to leave even your opponents doubting their merit and shaking in their boots. We will start with the beginner level course where we'll teach you how to accuse your opponents of being "too ambitious," or having "faulty logic". Once we're sure you've mastered those techniques we wil move you up to our intermediate class where you will learn how to call your detractors "Opponents of the republic," or "The dream of Falconias come to pass,"; when you've proven able to handle these cutting barbs we will focus on training you how to really drop the bomb on your opponents. In our Masters level course we'll teach you how to get your opponents banned through trumping up charges of pornspam, forum destruction, or secret membership in the F.R.A. Once you've completed this we'll enter you in our Grand Supreme Wizard Dragon Unicorn level course, where you'll learn how to photoshop discord logs, fake skype conversations, and even edit MSN logs (so that you can create a credible backlog of evidence).[/tab]

P.t.V.:
[tab]In the event that you are facing off against another sharp politican who knows that real politics is done through insulting your opponent; we will teach you that the best retort is not a more inventive or powerful insult, but playing the victim. In our beginners course we will teach you how to claim that Europeia is rigged against you, whether it's because you're a newcomer, or because you just haven't taken part in any of the many activities Europeia offers to it's community. A good rigging can go a long way towards earning you the support and sympathy of the population at large; and with that sympathy comes the votes. Our intermediate level class will teach you how to blame other people for your hardships; with such standards as "Well, I was just doing what the minister told me to do," Our master's level class will teach you how to go to specific people, whether through discord, skype, or smoke signals, to complain privately about how you've been betrayed, and how someone you thought was your friend is using things you said to them in private confidence against you. This has always been a proven method of gaining those all important sympathy votes. In our Double Venti Extra Crispy Reduced Fat Half-caf No-foam Quarter-whip Soy Latte level course we will teach you the secret formula for taking absolutely everything as a personal attack and threatening to leave Europeia because of it.[/tab]

C/P:
[tab]In the event that you find yourself in a three way race, there is only one option left available to you, as obviously insulting two opponents and playing the victim against them both will get confusing. Our beginners class will teach you the age old technique of starting conversations with your opponents and flattering them until they believe that you are their number one supporter. No one has ever seen through this tactic. It is foolproof. We well then teach you how to highlight text, and right click to copy any mean things they say about your opposition before starting a new conversation with the insulted person, and using the phrase "I know we don't talk much, but I can't believe he did this and I wanted you to know..." and using the right mouse button again to share those conversations with your opponent. In our intermediate class you'll learn how to use the mean things that one of your opponents says to get the other opponent to insult the first one, so that you can bounce back and forth between them until eventually they're both convinced that you're the only candidate they can possibly support. In our Masters level class we'll teach you how to use the admins as a weapon; putting your right clicking powers to good use in getting your opponents banned from Europeia. Good riddance. We didn't need them anyway. In our Caliente Spicy Doritos Locos Supremo Grade Double Cheese Chicken Taco with a Loaded Baked Potato on the Side level course we will teach you how to use the control key.[/tab]
Edited by Aexnidaral Seymour, Dec 16 2016, 06:58 PM.
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"... Aex, who is treated like the Europeian version of Nickelback by a lot of people here."
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Cpt.Carrot
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hyanygo
Dec 16 2016, 06:54 PM
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Double Venti Extra Crispy Reduced Fat Half-caf No-foam Quarter-whip Soy Latte

I was thinking that too :lol:
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By the Prophetical Blessing of Nethel, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic of Europeia and the states within, Destined Overseer of His rightful yet forgotten realms of Estalcia and Old Europe and Crystal Falls, Defender of the Faith and New Jersey, and Heir to the concept of Sarcasm
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