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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 31 2010, 01:31 PM (98 Views) | |
| Omega | Jan 31 2010, 01:31 PM Post #1 |
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=/= We are at one end of a long, seemingly unending corridor. The walls are grey, covered with plaques and posters, awards from days gone by. Best Local Radio, Ten Year Anniversary, autographed photos and framed albums. We pause on one of the certificates, noting the name emblazoned across it: MINSTER FM. As we continue down the corridor, we come across a familiar face. Omega sits cross-legged, resting against the wall. She wears an Apocalyptica t-shirt and black jeans, and has sock puppets on either hand. One bears the face of Chaolin Sahn, the other, the face of Dolores Madison Sato. =/= Omega (jiggling the Chaolin Sahn puppet): Hello Dolores, let us go and set sail. To a desert island where we can both be made of fail. (jiggling the Dolores puppet): Thats sounds like totally amazing Mister Sahn Sir! And may I add the Cyndicate is totally brilliant and isn't a collossal asteroid of poo and wee crashing into a planet made of ick, no matter what absolutely everybody in the entire world ever might think. "Chaolin": You are my lady as sweet as an orange, help I can't think of any - =/= A door opens beside little miss O and a man steps out. He is in his mid-forties, mismatched socks, grey shirt, hairline receding faster than a Prime Minister's conscience. Omega skips to her feet and stuffs the puppets in her pocket. =/= Omega: Howdy doodly doo Mister Radio Person! Man: Um....yeah. I take it you are, um, Omega? Omega: Got it in one. Man: You're on next, have you ever done radio before? Omega: When I was littler miss O I made a crystal radio one time and it was all awesome and stuff. Does that count? Man: Not exactly...basically you'll be going into the studio, we'll wait for the adverts to finish then David - that's the host - he'll introduce you, a bit of chat then you'll take some questions from callers. That sound okay? Omega: Wicked like the Witch. Let's get to it! =/= The staff member opens the door and he and Omega enter the studio. DJ Dave sits in front of a large panel of switches and buttons, lit up like a Christmas tree. A microphone is in front of him, another to his side. The man gestures to Omega to take a seat by the second microphone and she does so, sitting cross-legged and spinning on the office chair, giggling to herself softly. The staff member rolls his eyes and exits the studio, while DJ Dave turns to Omega, grinning broadly. =/= DJ Dave: Hi there! You must be Omega, right? Omega: Rightaroonie! DJ Dave: Great to have you here, we're going to get started in just a second, if you could come a bit closer to the microphone we'll get started in....DAMMIT! =/= DJ Dave snatches up the microphone and smacks a few switches frantically. =/= DJ Dave: Welcome back! We've got a very special guest with us here today, coming straight outta wonderland, the Championship Wrestling Federation's resident cookie monster, you know her, I know her, the Royal College of Psychiatrists can't get enough of her - Omega! Omega: Hello, boys and girls! DJ Dave: It's great to have you here today, in just a moment we'll be taking some calls from our listeners but first of all, the question on everybody's lips - how are you feeling about your match this week with Dolores Madison? After everything that's happened the last few weeks with Dolores, Elijah and Sahn - Omega: Oh my! DJ Dave: - most recently the brutal conclusion to the match at Genesis, just what are you thinking going into this match? Omega: I'm thinking about puppies mostly. And my daddio. And smacking that -----'s teeth down her ----ing throat. And cake sometimes. =/= Unseen by Omega, DJ Dave hits the mute button on the panel, cutting off her mic just in time to spare the listening public from Omega's profanity. =/= DJ Dave: For anyone listening who hasn't been keeping up to date, could you fill us in a bit on how this match came about? Omega: Dolores is a horrible nasty woman who has been all horrible and nasty and stuff. She used to know my daddio - DJ Dave: That's Elijah, right? Omega: Of course! Silly Mister DJ Person. But yeah. She used to know my daddio a long long long long long long time ago. Christmas was long ago but this was even longerer ago than that. Then she joined this icky group and she had to go away for a long time and made my daddio all sad and stuff. Then she came back and now she's signed up with the Sahndicate and is being all mean and nasty and owwie. She makes my sad happen. And she makes my angry happen also. DJ Dave: After what happened at Genesis I can't say I blame you. Omega: Woo to the hoo! At Genesis she was all mean and nasty and manipulative and horrible. And she's sided with that vile ---- Sahn and his bunch of ----wits in the Cyndi--- but it's no matter. The Insurgency is totally more awesomeful than they'll ever be and this Tuesday me and her are going to be playing some very special games for all the girls and boys. Pow pow pow! DJ Dave: Pow pow and, indeed, pow. We're going to move on to taking some calls from our listeners if that's okay? Omega: Yey! =/= DJ Dave flicks some switches on the desk, bringing a speaker to life. =/= DJ Dave: Okay, here's our first caller, Paul. Paul, you're on the air with Omega. Omega: Good morrow, kind sir! And how fare thee on this fine day? Paul: Good thank you miss O, and how are you? Omega: Made of win with a grin. Of tin. Paul: I have two questions for you. First, a couple of weeks ago on Massacre we saw Cain having a meeting with CWF President J. Rish. What was that about? And second, if you were a character in the Wizard of Oz, who would you be and why? Omega: I'd be the tornado. It was all excitementful and stuff! As far as Caino...you'd have to ask him. He's all clever and stuff but sometimes even clever people can do silly things, and talking to Rish is one of the silliest things of all. DJ Dave: I take it you don't see eye to eye with the boss? Omega: He's a ----ing ----wit who should ----ing well go ---- himself with a rusty nail. In the bum! DJ Dave: Kinky. Thanks for your call Paul, next on line two we have George. Omega: It isn't George W Bush is it? He smells of wee and fail and stuff. DJ Dave: I doubt that. He lives in Texas, we are in York. Omega: Valid point. DJ Dave: Okay George, you're live with Omega - what's shaking? George: Hi there miss O, first off - could you pass on my congratulations to Elijah for the match at Genesis? Omega: Totally! George: Thanks! And second - what are your thoughts on the upcoming CWF World Title Tournament? Omega: I already have lots of pretty shiney toys to play with at home, I don't need any more - not when there's a whole range of Power Rangers RPM figures to get! But the tournament looks like it should be a chance to have fun with lots of fun people and make the icky people feel icky. It should be all awesomeful and stuff. DJ Dave: Thanks for your call George. We've got time for one more call, this one's from a girl called Annabella. You're on air with Little Miss O - what's on your mind? Annabella: Hi there miss O, three questions. First: what's Elijah like when the cameras stop rolling? Second: what's your favourite song of the moment? And third: do you think Chaolin Sahn is done with you two or are we going to see more from him in the coming weeks? Omega: Annabella's a pretty name. Going in order: Caca can keep coming back and trying to be all big and scary and nasty and hurty and stuff but if he does we'll be right here waiting for him. Not right here of course. That would be silly. Unless he wanted to invade Minster FM but I don't think he would do that cos it's all far away. But if he does you can just call us up and we'll be all pow pow pow on him. Promise you'll do that Mister DJ Person? DJ Dave: You got it. Omega: Caca is really just a ----ing useless little ---- and I heard he once had to go to hospital cos he'd been ----ing himself in the --- with a scale model of the Eiffel Tower. Silly Caca wee wee face. ---- that he is. I have lots and lots and lots of favouritest songs at the moment but my most favourite right now would be Hunter's Kiss by Rasputina. Bambi meets cellos, it's all yeyful! And as far as my daddio, he's exactly the same off camera as he is on. He's the most amazingest boy in the history of ever. Like a Mars bar made of dark chocolate and win. Lots of win. DJ Dave: Thanks Annabella. We're nearly out of time here so I'd just like to say thanks to little miss O for being with us this morning and to everybody who called in. Before we go, any closing words? Omega: Shutting, slamming, stopping, locking - DJ Dave: What? Omega: They're all closing words. I think there are more but I don't have my thesaurus. I think Mao eated it. DJ Dave: Right. Stay tuned for the morning news, for now I'm Dave here with little miss O wishing you all the best for the day and remember - don't count your blessings before they're hatched. Omega: Hell fucking yeah! =/= Omega claps her hand excitedly. DJ Dave's eyes widen in shock and he glances at the control panel; the mute button, already in a state of disrepair, now lies useless and broken on the desk. Dave shrugs and flicks a switch, cutting the broadcast to adverts. Omega jumps to her feet and hugs DJ Dave before skipping out of the room, giggling to herself. Dave watches her leave with a confused smile, turning back to the panel as she closes the door behind her. We follow Omega as she skips down the corridor, making her way through the building and out into the open air. She wanders aimlessly round the outside of the building, before her face breaks into a broad grin. We follow Omega as she runs at full tilt across the lawn, arriving breathless next to - =/= Elijah: Greetings, my beloved. =/= Elijah on the grass, his back resting against the wall. By his side is a copy of The Catcher in the Rye. As Omega arrives, she hops down beside him and he slips an arm around her. =/= Omega: Howdy daddio! Did you listen to the radio thingymajiggery? Elijah: Of course. It was most compelling. Although I suspect their equipment is in need of repair, the broadcast was prone to unexpected silences. Omega: Silly radio peoples. Silly silly silly. It was all fun and stuff though. Elijah: Quite. Shall we? Omega: We shall. =/= Omega jumps to her feet. Elijah stands and slips his hand into hers, and the two of them make their way across the lawn. As the golden couple make their way from the studio, rain begins to fall, splashing off pavements, sinking into the lawn. Somewhere in the distance, Minster bells ring out the hour, pealing through the still winter air. =/= |
![]() I am not so serious, this passion is a plagiarism I might join your century, but only on a rare occasion I was taken out before the labour pains set in Now behold the world's worst accident: I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM!
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