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| Inside CWF; The Real Scoop... One Punch at a Time | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 11 2009, 02:21 AM (111 Views) | |
| Bill Brasky | Dec 11 2009, 02:21 AM Post #1 |
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Resident Reporter
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Lads and ladies, welcome to a very special edition of Inside CWF! Post Confliction edition! As we all know, last week was one of the biggest, if not the] biggest PPV that the CWF has ever seen. We have more on this in a bit. CWF has witnessed the return of Abigail Starr. How much of an impact will that make for Superstar Sex Symbol, Angel? (pun intended) Fans are blogging everywhere to comment on Elijah’s political rhetoric and propaganda speech that was overheard earlier this week during Confliction. To buy or not to buy… that is the question. CWF superstars have been releasing books at an alarming rate, threatening to invade the top seller list. All this an more as you sit back with some hot cocoa and enjoy the newest episode of Inside CWF! I’m Bill Brasky. To kick off our show, I want to show you all a highlight reel showing some of the greatest hits of Confliction. Unfortunately, I am not permitted to do this, as the encore edition will be available through the end of the week on PPV. Simply order it on demand, or call your local television provider for service. ![]() King of the Kilobytes, Jarvis King has reportedly signed on to do an ad campaign for the Wal Mart holiday shopping season. The thirty second ad feature the Ethernet enigma wrestling a group of senior citizens, who are all trying to get their hands on the last Jarvis King doll… er… action figure. ![]() Jim Gunt was admitted into the hospital late last night. Reports state that he passed out from lack of sleep in combination to sniffing chloroform. Gunt stated that he “just wanted to see what it smelled like” after a comment from his announce partner, Mike Rolash. Gunt is reported to be in good condition, and is expected to be released after clearance from the proctologist. ![]() Omega has been binge baking since her newfound sense of freedom came in the form of dropped emigration charges. She has sent a basket of cookies to every superstar on the roster. Each basket contains at least three dozen cookies. ![]() In similar news, CWF superstars, Omega, Angelica, Angel, Cain, King Nothing, and J.Rish have all released books on various topics, ranging from cookbooks to spiritual well-being guidelines. Thus far, Rish’s book, titled “The Science of Success” has sold over 3 copies, and is expected to sell at least another 6 by the end of the fiscal year. Omega’s “Cookies… for your face” has broken the Rhode Island sales record by moving 90,000 copies on the day of its release. Some analysts challenge these numbers, citing that it’s common knowledge that people from Rhode Island simply cannot read. ![]() Elijah has gotten himself into some hot water after a local janitor overheard him spewing political rhetoric during a backstage rant last week. The main-eventer was quoted in saying “Obama is a Democrat, you stupid shit! Bush was a Republican!” Internet blogs have been running rampant with people who have taken offense to the rant, calling Elijah everything from a sycophant to an anti-semetic activist. Inside CWF will send Inside reporter, Efron Weinstein to personally investigate this accusation. ![]() Superstar Sex Symbol Angel was spotted at a local Wal Mart browsing through greeting cards. Reports flooded into Inside CWF immediately, as witnesses watched her grab a Hallmark brand card, and then place it back on the shelf. Almost as if previously planned, Angel then picked up the store brand card for purchase. Is there financial difficulty in the superstar’s life? Bill Brasky attempted to contact Angel on this topic, but was immediately arrested for violating some court order thing. ![]() Rish has been in contact with a security company to place an order for a new, metal door for his office. After he had had enough of people kicking it off the hinges, Rish reportedly flipped through the yellow pages and called the company with the most appealing ad. Rish finally went with Anderson Doors, a local company. When questioned, Rish had this to say: “I was really torn between Anderson Doors and Doors R Us. I finally decided to go with Anderson because their ad was a bit bigger. Plus they’ve been in business for over 40 years.” ![]() In other news, Dan, the Hammer Highlander was spotted in a local restaurant dining with members of the Insurgency. As out “mystery” reporter snuck in for a closer look, Highlander was witnessed looking at Angel Crossways. For this indiscretion, Bill Brasky challenges Highlander to a fight. Let’s do this, Highlander. Brasky’s gonna get you. ![]() On a related topic, Highlander was involved in a scuffle with a middle aged man in San Francisco over the weekend. Details are still coming in, but we know two solid facts: Dan Highlander had beaten the holy hell out of the man, and secondly, the man, unfortunately, was not Glenn Beck. ![]() Our headline this week, ladies and gentlemen, is Tuesday Night Massacre, which will show the world Brasky’s in ring debut, as I put the boots to the CWF Paramount Champion, Dan Highlander. Tune in this Tuesday for the show. Inside CWF would like to formally thank all of the fans who have voted for Brasky as Rumor man of the year. I look forward to continuing my work here, and I’ll start next week putting work into Dan highlander. Until next time, folks, this has been inside CWF. Take care, and remember, if Brasky says it… it’s the truth! |
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