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Caledonia Feedback Thread
Topic Started: Mar 26 2018, 07:21 PM (189 Views)
Caledonia

Alright, going to follow the (sensible) notion of putting all feedback requests into a single thread lol.

Would love to hear people’s thoughts on my latest RP. Will reciprocate when I get a chance but can’t make any promises about timeliness since I’m on vacation with my girlfriend and we’re doing a lot of sightseeing.

Cheers!
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TheLostBoys

The switching between time frames helped build a sense of suspense and intrigue, really enjoyed the slow progression.

Clearly the post is being used more to emphasise and progress the heavy-duty story that is going on with Cali and co.

Interesting little thing, probably nothing, but with your language choice...whenever Cali said 'obey' in regards to Sunset I couldn't help but think that was foreshadowing some insane heel turn. It just really jumped out at me.

Match-talk was blended nicely into the narrative though not as strong as you have done (though again this post was more for story).

A bit more sedate and humble then the usual Cali, but it fits the current context with the aftermath of the Institute attack.
And the ending of course, a great little sting to hook us in.
Eager to see where it goes :D
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The Weaver of Dreams
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As I already had mentioned on Messenger, I really enjoy this rp and as Dallas mentioned, the alternation between the time frames really worked great. It felt like a TV show, building suspense and I love how you show the inner workings of Cali.

I agree that given the storyline you are involved in and the fact that it is moving along towards the endgame, there is more story advance than an all-out match rp, but what we get has lots of intrigue, especially the ending...

Can't wait to read more.
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userpoets
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Damn it, you ended it on a cliffhanger. Write the next one now. Now. Now. Now. Now.

Echoing the above. Awesome post, and I want more. Flipping between the timeframes gives us a good view into Cali's mindset and where her wheels spin now, juxtaposed with where they were spinning two weeks ago.
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Caledonia

So, this week I attempted one of my most ambitious RPs to date. Would really like to know what people thought of it.

I know I keep saying I’m going to go around and give feedback, but I’m actually getting towards a position where I might be able to at this point. So will do that tomorrow or this weekend, regardless.
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userpoets
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Clearly, Caledonia is the only babyface in this match. RP grading will bear it out but storyline-wise, literally the only finish that will be satisfying to the reader is going to be a victory for Cali.

I hope the others don't take this the wrong way, but your writing actually makes the SSRI interesting to me. Not that the others involved in the angle aren't good writers but there's so much going on that I get lost at times - the fact that Caledonia's personal life is victim to the SSRI gives more of an outsider's take on it, something that I can keep up with more more easily.

Another gem, sir.
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Caledonia

Okay, so I’ve actually finally done what I always say I’m going to do and posted some feedback :P Reciprocation would be greatly appreciated. My piece for the 2318 show was one of the more unusual pieces I’ve written, and I’d love to know what people thought.
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Caledonia

Would love to hear people’s thoughts on my piece from this week.
Edited by Caledonia, Apr 27 2018, 05:41 PM.
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userpoets
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Your promo put DC immediately in his place. It's like the idea that you should never totally bury your opponents because if they win, what does that make you? But you took the straight up facts without any embellishment and made your point with them. And it wasn't even a burial, it was "This is what you've claimed about yourself, compared to what you've actually done - you have a lot of work to do." And it doesn't bury DC at all, it makes a (potential) win over Caledonia mean a lot more than it would've before your promo.

The immediate post-promo was probably my favorite part of the entire thing, probably - the idea that Cali can "turn it on" then "turn it off" when she has to, and you do a thing that a lot of people don't - she takes her matches with her. It's probably easier when you're waist-deep in the SSRI stuff, but the fact that the toll of the matches don't just roll off her is wonderful character work.

The Jace Valentine closure was another nice touch. IMO, Jace still has a lot of work to do to actually be a babyface again, but clearly, Caledonia and MJF have different perspectives.

I also dug the endgame with Eris and taking a more humorous approach to what we hope will be a RP from DC - give me a fiver on "His Cali pretends to be you."
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The Weaver of Dreams
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It is always hard to rp against someone, who has not been around for a while, but you did great by taking his previous behaviour and twisting it around against him very efficiently. And I have to agree with Pete that the pool of Eris is just hilarious and also fits with the mannerisms that D.C. has displayed so far.

I loved the continuation of the Dan story, especially the texts really keep the suspense going and I personally can't wait to see how this will continue to develop, same for the continued implications of her family knowing far more than her. Meeting Jace in the hospital was a very nice touch and it continues to show a) the investment of Cali, b) the emotional struggle this whole SSRI storyline has produced for her and c) that she is willing to do whatever she has to get to her goals (like break into the manor).
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Caledonia

Would love feedback on my newest piece, Down The Rabbit Hole. Will reciprocate.
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The Weaver of Dreams
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It reads to me like a novel, and I mean that in the best possible way. Granted, there is no dialogue or monologue in this one, but just written out of Caledonia's perspective and in this case I feel that it is part of the appeal of this piece. It has a full flow, weaving in and out of the situation with Dan, her own struggles, Cassandra/Ouroboros, the mysterious text messages leading her this way and that, but keeping the tension high throughout. Quite frankly, if this was published as a novel, I would totally try to find a free PDF version of it online. Just kidding!

The character development of Caledonia over the past few weeks and months has been nothing short of fantastic, going from the supportive wife during the Tower match to an all-out warrior, private eye, wrestler and more and everything in one fluid motion and it just leaves you wanting more.
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Caledonia

You know the drill :P RP is here
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The Weaver of Dreams
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In one word: impressive. You've been on a real roll here, aided by the immense storyline that you've been involved in.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, despite the length of the roleplays, they have this tremendous flow that just lets them run by without you even noticing that you have read over 6000 words.

You have two major storylines going right now, Dan and the Institute and obviously how they intertwine now and then, obviously, the big match against MJF. In some people's roleplays there is a distinct character development portion and then a distinct match talk portion. Probably due to the nature of your storyline(s) you are able to carry some of the CD portion over into the match talk, just through how everything Cali has gone through and had to do during the battle of the Academy, the match for the ownership of CWF and the Institute and the search for Dan, changed her and how that influences her in the ring as well.

The continuity in your storyline is remarkable and when you reveal the identity of the mysterious sender of the messages, I was floored. And of course you managed to leave another cliffhanger, but that is a great way to keep people to come back, haha.

I hope to never have to rp against you...
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Mia Rayne

Caledonia has started to grow on me in all honesty and your most recent work has cemented me as a fan of yours. You're making it incredibly difficult for me to pick a winner in the basin event this week and in all honesty, win or lose, you've done an amazing job and I can't wait to see where you take the character.
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userpoets
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Super strong. Stop it.

Naaah, the match talk was top notch, if short - and the storyline was both feeding directly into the match and telling Caledonia's overall story. It flowed naturally from one point to the next and told the story. The nitpick (you like including them, so here's one for you :-D ) is that every major event, your storyline gives the suggestion of a resolution to the Where is Dan? storyline, but it always continues. Stop teasing us and consummate! :)
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Caledonia

userpoets
May 17 2018, 09:21 AM
Stop teasing us and consummate! :)
Gotta keep you interested somehow ;)
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