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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 24 2018, 12:00 AM (44 Views) | |
| Jace Valentine | Mar 24 2018, 12:00 AM Post #1 |
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![]() It's Jace Valentine's world, and you're just living in it. A CWF Triple Crown Champion -- Former Paramount, World Heavyweight (2x) and Academy Championships A Two-Time "CWF's Superstar of the Month" -- October 2017, November 2017 2017 Co-Superstar of the Year | |
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| TheLostBoys | Mar 25 2018, 01:05 AM Post #2 |
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The sizeable blank space after Vegas' last line of dialogue and the morning after of the wild night, was that a formatting snafu? Is that just my browser? Cause it kinda destroys the flow and took me out of the rp. Besides that I like where this is going. I like how we have Jace questioning everything, showing remorse and a clash of conscience. I hope to see this build more, a slow burn, as that would make the most sense for someone who is usually so cocky, full of themselves etc to suddenly descend and realise the error of their ways. It wouldn't be an easy thing to overcome. Amazing stinger at the end, I am eagerly awaiting to see here it goes. As this is a new direction for Jace I feel there was some uncertainty in your writing, sort of working out the kinks. With time that will pass easily as we all know the strong writer you are. |
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| userpoets | Mar 25 2018, 04:13 PM Post #3 |
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Structurally, it's good stuff. You move the story along and everything is likely going to be building to a head at Unhinged with the Institute. I'm not really sold on the idea that's being put forth with this angle as a "literally life or death" thing, but that could be because I've written for shows where characters literally did die - like "shotgun blast to the face" died. Storyline - wise, I liked the fact that Jace is appealing to Caledonia for partnership, acknowledging that his recent turn to the Institute shows he's not the hero the CWF needs without help from people with stronger moral fiber. |
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Former CWF World Champion x1 Every generation needs a revolution Buy my book here! | |
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