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Future Trauma Post Disorder Feedback
Topic Started: Mar 11 2018, 08:16 AM (44 Views)
Amber Jaye
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Hey all,

If anyones got some time to give me a few words on my latest work, I've been feeling rusty and its common knowledge I don't have time to be as active as I would like- so anything you guys can say will be greatly appreciated.

You know, so long as its constructive lol
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They call me observant. That's not particularly true.
People are so easy to read- we bleed emotions even in the way we drink our coffee.
No one seems to notice though.
They're all too busy drinking their own damn coffee



Record: 
4CW: 9-5-0
Carnage: 12-2-0
CWF: 8-2-1
Life 0-1-0 [/i]

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TheLostBoys

Nice snapshot into the mind and goings-on of Amber in the first part, referencing her formative CWF years and past experiences and ultiamtely you describe elements and allusions to PTSD quite well.
And interesting how you play up the on-going sense of isolation within Amber, not just because of her time with the Institute and threat of conversion, but also because of the absence of anyone to trly relate and confide in. That sort of detail and description really drove the first part home for me. It's evocative.

The best way I can voice my thoughts on the promo aspect is; Certainly strong but also safe.
It's very indicative of both you as the writer, and Amber as the ever-abrasive and no nonsense tough gal we've come to know and love throughout the years.
I sense that notion of separation, as if Amber's been there and done that time and again but then this tends towards a feeling that both writer and character are 'going through the motions'.
There wasn't much that jumped out at me as being personalised towards Autumn, though it is still an effective dressing down of the opponent, just not extrinsically poignant to the specific opponent.
It's possible after the Academy War epic there's a bit of burn-out coming down from that (both in and out of character lol) fair bit of that going around after Confliction, and it is still an enjoyable and captivating piece to read.
I'm sure if Amber progresses further with the Chase for the Case her usual brash fire will become more and more pronounced and wish you the best in that angle
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