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Feedback for my latest...
Topic Started: Mar 10 2018, 03:52 PM (34 Views)
Freddie Styles
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http://s6.zetaboards.com/CWF_Wrestling_Forums/topic/10031787/1/#new
Death is on the tip of her tongue and danger's at the tip of her fingers

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It's better to be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of somebody else
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Elisha
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Thoughts as I go...

* Name redacted, intriguing.
* All very down to earth and real, like the touch with the magazine.
* Interactions between the two feel very real and loving. Loo Ike's the ransition from one character's monologue to the other.
* I found the dark purple difficult on a dark background, maybe partly down to reading on phone.
* Brawl between the brothers - very powerful, clear Jason StJohn is major - would like to know more.
* Ending part builds on "Accepting Fate" from Evolution. Sign of a new turn for Freddie?

Liked this a lot - as always, there's a genuine sense of realism, particularly in the relationships between the characters, the language used and so on. Wrestling and story were integrated in a way that seemed very natural. Interested to see where Freddie goes from here.
Prick your finger, it is done
The moon has now eclipsed the sun
The angel has spread its wings
The time has come for bitter things...
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