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Feed me more!
Topic Started: Feb 24 2018, 11:34 AM (76 Views)
ChristianSTARR
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Just got done posting my newest RP, lemme get some of that sweet sweet feedback y'all

Christian STARR Diaries: Chapter 3
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THE FORMER PARAMOUNT CHAMPION
Break-Out Superstar - Confliction Block 2018
Champion of the Block - Unhinged Block 2018
Superstar of the Block [Tied] - Unhinged Block 2018


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The Weaver of Dreams
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Looks like feedback is hard to come by these days, lol.

I like how you give us a glimpse of how Starr is coming back from the dumps every week, giving us insight in how you are working to get back up and building your relationship with Silver and also bringing in Allison, nicely done.

The present day talk was a nice setup, which gives Silver more relevance in the big picture and then your match talk is spot on. It shows that you've done your homework and have read up on your opponent, which gives you several things to touch on. Some feels a bit like you're responding to his rp, but it's difficult, if your opponent puts things you are going to say into his, there are only so many ways you can actually talk about him, haha.

Overall another very enjoyable rp and one that is making this one of the tightest matches to judge in quite a while!
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TheLostBoys

As already mentioned I enjoy this rags to riches story, how Christian has struggled against adversity and fighting tooth and nail to get back to the top. It's written in a gripping and evocative manner where you give the reader a real honest look into Christian's life and his mind.

Match-talk is spot-on. It's to the point, it's relevant and is reflective of a great, arrogant heel who talks more about himself and his opponent juxtaposed to him, instead of his opponent wholesale.

Well done.

Very enjoyable
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J-Dub

Being new, this is just based off of the RP as a solo, being I do not know any of the storylines in play.

I do like the stylistic opening, using coding to catch the eye. A non needed thing, but would bring the read in, would be giving a day to the date, that way, as the reader, I can say, I was doing this on that day, making it real for the reader to compare from RL. I enjoy the medical details, either you did your research or you work in the medical field, but regardless the details made that section, it was really nice touch. It almost reads as if I was watching a movie, it helps me with the flow of things because its easy to imagine. The Eli and Chris thing at the beginning with the back and forth was a good example of this. The one odd part was the doctor/starr nod, maybe it was just me but I will admit I lied, but that's prob from too many cartoons. I enjoyed the history part, Eli seems like a classic big talker manager type, bobby the brain like. The big cocky heel, always dig that, and the manager part breaks it up from other like character. I liked it, it was a good read, the match talk was solid, shows the character is in this match, and its the only thing on his mind.

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Jace Valentine
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To be honest, this is the first time in a few weeks I have really got an opportunity catch up on reading. I started reading this one and I felt like I was doing a disservice to you and to myself if I did not go back and read the first two chapters first. So I did just that, reading them in order.

I must say, the continuity in the storytelling has been done really well up until this point. You have established a character, a persona -- with emotion, personality and charisma -- and set up a story and a life for this character in a matter of three chapters and I am really impressed with your work so far. The interactions between Christian and his wife, with Eli, with Payne and all the other characters here all feel naturally connected and never forced. You do a good job of 'setting the scene' without going too overboard in detail on the surroundings. We get a good look at Christian's past, his motivations, and what drives him to compete in the CWF.

The attitude and arrogance of Christian comes off well in the match talk, its entertaining and well written, but if I have one complaint is that the match talk against Mora comes off a bit generic, in the sense that most of the things said could apply to any match, and I would have liked to see a little more digging/character assassination stuff that targetted Mora specifically, but still really excellent work.
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It's Jace Valentine's world, and you're just living in it.

A CWF Triple Crown Champion -- Former Paramount, World Heavyweight (2x) and Academy Championships
A Two-Time "CWF's Superstar of the Month" -- October 2017, November 2017
2017 Co-Superstar of the Year


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Freddie Styles
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Wonderful work. I like how you told the story of the knee surgery, where it seemed like you pushed it for the love/admiration for a woman more than just for yourself. I can't wait to see the next piece of that story puzzle. Your match talk was very directed and on point, and touching on Mora's obsession with MJ was very telling. ANother great entry,
Death is on the tip of her tongue and danger's at the tip of her fingers

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It's better to be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of somebody else
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