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Beset From All Sides feedback
Topic Started: Feb 3 2018, 05:28 PM (84 Views)
Caledonia

Would greatly appreciate feedback on my newest piece. I’ll give feedback to people who’ve asked for it already over the next few days.
CWF’s Current World Champion
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LHudson

Wow, getting super personal now. Really liking where this is going.

General feedback (though this could be a 'me shaped suggestion'), I'd say have some sort of divider between promo mode and development mode.
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TheLostBoys

Will post a bit later. But brief skim earlier, liked the start of it!
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TheLostBoys

The match-talk at the beginning. Raw, pointed and personal. We see the edges of Cali starting to fray as things start happening all around her. The frustration is palpable and realistic. Is she being driver to her breaking point?
Reacted and commented well to opponent, the match and recent events.

The CD aspect showcases a more vulnerable side of Cali, developing a incredible three dimensional character with a side of her not often seen in your work. It was written well and tells everyone alot about who she is as a person, her defining principles and the like. You also manage to tell us more about Highlander in the process, and their relationship as well as the significance of Eris to Cali and their relationship. So all around nicely developed, thought out and written.

The Rp doesn't explicitly perpetuate the Academy/Institute story as you have done in the past, but instead this focuses solely on Cali and that works wonders.
Enjoyed it as usual and don't fully agree with Lewis' comment as it was written both in first person AND the promo was integrated as being a part of the post as a whole and could see why he commented about the division.

My only real...'criticism' is that I was disappointed when it ended.

Great work mate!

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