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Styles feedback
Topic Started: Dec 27 2017, 04:58 PM (35 Views)
Freddie Styles
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Place all styles feedback here please lol
Death is on the tip of her tongue and danger's at the tip of her fingers

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It's better to be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of somebody else
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Freddie Styles
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My last one....tell me what yallthink:

http://s6.zetaboards.com/CWF_Wrestling_Forums/topic/10028717/1/#new
Death is on the tip of her tongue and danger's at the tip of her fingers

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It's better to be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of somebody else
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TheLostBoys

I have clearly missed the context with Ronnie taking Freddie under his wings but the opening narrative creates this nice image of Ronnie passing on the torch and telling the world Freddie's story as his friend/mentor.

Keep in mind this is about Bounce Back specifically.
Similar to what I've said to Alex (The Shadow) you have a knack for description and are able to set an effective scene from that first paragraph and implies the promo that is to follow is as much Freddie speaking introspectively to himself as it is to MJ.
It is a very face promo that includes within the dialogue elements of character development, so even though the rp is just this one scene and doesn't include a distinct part dedicated to CD you are able to tell alot about the character from this alone. Though what we get doesn't exactly feel distinctive if that makes sense. We want to see who Freddie Styles is!
This is where I think you can build upon, some of the best rps include explicit moments of character development that showcase how the characters get on in the world in, around and outside the CWF world and how they respond to what's going on around them.

The match-talk is top quality and well written, though a personal style preference for me is something that explicitly denotes speech (aka "" or Freedie Styles:) but beyond that it's solid and an enjoyable read
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