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| Wrestlemas I; The official (?) CWF Christmas Party | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 24 2017, 04:03 PM (89 Views) | |
| The Weaver of Dreams | Dec 24 2017, 04:03 PM Post #1 |
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![]() 'twas the fight before Christmas And all through the arena Not a wrestler was stirring Not even John Cena... A mountain chalet, nestled at the edge of a lush forest. The trees and mountains around are covered with about two feet of snow and the sun is going down, already cresting the mountain ledges, casting long shadows. The windows of the chalet are brightly lit and there are plenty of footprints leading up to the cabin. The camera slowly moves closer to the front door and finally shows a sign that says "CWF Christmas Party" and in small print underneath "Egos to be checked at the door". “So up on the house top the coursers they flew. It was the same day that the Big Red Machine suddenly turned blue...” The door opens and there are several tables set with beautiful dishes and Christmas-inspired decorations, a huge fire blazing in the hearth on the far wall, a couple of very comfortable looking arm chairs in a crescent shaped arc in front of it. Due to the fairly dim lighting we cannot make out many details of the guests, but there is plenty of activity already with servers milling around making sure that everything is set up to perfection. On the side of the hearth we see a little podium with a microphone and behind it a table full of beautifully wrapped gifts, while in the on the other side of the lodge a band is setting up its instruments. We cut into the dark bedroom of Harvey Danger. The glow from his airplane night-light shines on him revealing his wide open eyes and giant grin. Harvey: Is it time? Is it finally... CHRISTMAS! PRESENTS!!! Harvey leaps out of bed and pulls open his bedroom door, wearing his dinosaur onesie pajamas. As he slowly walks down the hall, the scratch of an old fashioned record can be heard as the tinny speakers from Marie Danger's old hi-fi record player warm up. From the living room below, the musical sounds of the Jackson 5 softly float up to meet Harvey. “I... saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus...” Harvey stops dead in his tracks, a sudden look of terror on his face. Harvey: Oh no! I hate this song! Why would Mother play this song? Today of all days!? “She didn't see me creep... down the stairs to have a peep!” Harvey puts his fingers in his ears as he reaches the top of the stairs. Harvey: No, no, no! Make it stop! It's CHRISTMAS and it's time for PRESENTS, not your personal romantic interludes! Mother! What are you doing? Harvey trots down the first few steps and bends down to look into the living room. “Then I... saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus...” Marie is dancing in the middle of the living room floor with a man dressed as Santa Claus. He's clearly the mall Santa she met shopping last minute on Christmas Eve. He nuzzles her neck as the two drunkenly dance in a circle. She cackles like a nut while a cigarette hangs from her mouth as she tickles his chin to go along with the song. “Oh what a laugh it would have been, had Daddy only seen...” Harvey can't contain it any longer. He jumps down the remaining steps and stomps his feet. Harvey: No! Stop!! No, no, no!! Father would not support this! Santa, take your hands off my Mother! Marie and Santa stop dancing and turn around, both clearly annoyed at the interuption. Harvey looks on in terror as the Santa Claus is truly not even Santa but Jimmy the mall cop who moonlights in the winter as Santa. His teeth are yellowed by cigarettes and booze and his 5 o'clock shadow is dark and scruffy. He has food stains on his Santa costume and he's missing the fake beard. Jimmy's hand is on Marie's ass. Harvey suddently sits up in bed in terror. We're safely back in his bedroom; it was all just a dream. Panting hard, his brow is sweaty, his dinosaur PJ's disheveled. He reaches over and clicks on the light on his nightstand. Harvey: Whooo... just a nightmare! Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Harvey beams like a kid at Christmas... Harvey: It's Christmas! I feel like a kid again! He leaps out of bed and runs for the stairs. Just before reaching the top, we hear a record scratch as Marie warms up the hi-fi. Harvey stops in terror waiting for the deja vu Jackson 5. From down below, Frank Sinatra begins crooning “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Marie softly calls up to her baby boy: Marie: Come, Harvey Angel... it's Christmas morning! Harvey timidly comes down the stairs. He looks into the living room just to make sure he isn't dreaming again. Christmas Tree, Presents, Decorations... it checks out. The smell of Christmas dinner wafting in from the kitchen. Marie stands next to the tree wearing her apron holding a perfectly wrapped present for her angel. Marie: What do you want first? Breakfast... or presents? Harvey: PRESENTS! Harvey dives onto the floor at the foot of the Christmas Tree and tears into his presents. Stopping suddenly, he turns to the camera and breaks the proverbial 4th wall. Harvey: To all my friends and family at the CWF... Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'll see you all in 2018!! Harvey turns back to his gifts and begins giggling with glee. We begin to fade out as Marie watches on with a proud smile. A few guests already are busy talking and walking, the Highlanders and Eris with Omega are sitting at a table, enjoying some aperitifs, Duce Jones hanging around the buffet tables, trying to sneak some of the hors d'oeuvres, just to be slapped on the fingers by one of the many attendants. The party is supposed to officially start soon, but not many of the guests have arrived yet, potentially due to the fresh snow that had magically transformed a dreary winter scene into a truly beautiful Winter Wonderland, completing the atmosphere of a true white Christmas. “The children were all nestled, snug in their beds. As visions of Braun Strowman as a Rosebud danced in their heads.” The door flies open and a burly man in a grey suit steps in, sweeping the inside with a watchful glare before stepping aside. The CWF CEO Ryan Sunset makes his entrance together with the looming figure of Alex Cain, a look of disdain on his face as he sees the melting snow on his Gucci shoes, in his mind already seeing the watermarks it would leave, rendering the shoes garbage before the night had even begun. Two more grey suits slide in behind them, with grey suit number 1 indicating with quick gestures where to set up positions. The supervisor comes over and guides Sunset and Cain to a table, strategically placed close to the fireplace to enjoy the warmth, far away from the band, but also leaving a clear path to the exit. It also is striking that the table is a bit further away from the others, as if to ensure there would not be any potential altercations with the other attendants. Just then a TV screen flickers on and a familiar face appears on it, bearing his trademark smile: Elisha. "Wishing you all a thoroughly Amoral Christmas. Stab Santa. Eat Jesus. Maim an elf. Fuck a turkey. Give all your money to the poor, then steal their shoes. Have a thoroughly meaningless time, and remember that you, like so many others, will live a dull and insignificant life nd die alone and unloved, likely caked in your own and perhaps others' faeces. Happy holidays! Hugs and kisses, Elisha." People are looking at each other with disbelieving looks, when a whole group of people pours in, seemingly brought here by a shuttle of some sorts, the Highwaymen, or at least three quarters of them, Harley Hodge, Lance LaRusso and The Lost Soul, Mariella Jade Flair, Freddie Styles, Marcus Maximus with Tara Robinson and Kaylan El. They disperse to their respective tables, with only Mariella staying to the side, clearly not very comfortable with the crowd that not long ago she had not even known. One of the servers flitting by offers her a champagne flute off his tray, but she declines, asking if they had anything non-alcoholic, like a ginger ale. With a polite nod the server scurries off towards the back, while some of the others quickly pluck the flutes off his tray as he walks by. From outside we can hear Stalker talking in a heavy voice. Obviously not happy about something. "Zara, why did I let you talk me into this?" He knocks on the door and goes quiet while waiting for someone to answer. One of the attendants greets them at the door and takes his trench coat. Once he is relieved of his trench coat we see that he is wearing a bright red suit with snowmen, Christmas trees and other Christmas paraphernalia and matching tie, a crass contrast to his usual attire. "Awwwwwww Daddy, you did it for me, because I've been such a good girl for you. Besides." She turns his face towards her. "Just think how many people will envy you when they see me wearing this." As she removes her coat, she reveals a Christmas sweater saying “Kiss me under the mistletoe” and an arrow underneath, pointing into her crotch... If there was one thing the Americans could get right, it was Christmas. That was the thought going through Dean's mind as he looked up from his iPad and gazed out the window of the hotel room in the middle of nowhere. Having just finished a shower, Sam Braxton joined his friend, surprised at what he saw through the window. Sam: Well I'll be blowed. It's actually snowing...during Christmas. Dean: There's a certain sense of beauty in it. Sam: Beauty? You getting all weird on me mate? Dean looked to Sam with a reproachful expression, ready to tell his insensitive friend off and noticed for the first time that Sam was wearing nowhere near enough layers to brave the outdoors. Dean: Sam...please tell me you packed some winter clothes... Sam: Nah. Got some singlets. And my thongs of course. Dean: Flip-flops. Call them Flip-Flops. People will start thinking you’re sporting some rather revealing underwear. *sigh* Looks like we're going shopping before the party tonight... Next in is Pandalike, accompanied by Karin, and he looks a little lost coming in. As he slowly moves towards one of the still empty tables, Duce Jones passes him. After a brief tense moment, Duce continues on, leaving Pandy's eyes hitting him with arrows that could have struck down any man. Some more commotion at the door has everyone turn their heads and freeze, seeing Mannequin coming in from the cold, wearing, uh, nothing. Without a word he proceeds to the table furthest away from the crowds. He only grabs two glasses of water and quietly talks to Karin, all the while keeping an eye on the rest of the room. The Danger Boiz are just coming in through the door, Christmas wreaths around their neck and some of the most screaming neon pink and green Santa hats you will ever see, quickly making the rounds with hugs, high fives and “Merry Christmas” all around, before snagging some champagne and heading for the buffet. “When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter. I looked out my window and the Hardyz were there with a giant ladder!” Suddenly there is a loud noise on the roof, startling people. There are heavy footsteps, another boom, a silent curse and then some movement on top of the chimney. Snow and soot begin to rain down into the flames, making them hiss and dance, almost drowning out the laboured breathing of someone apparently trying to come down the chimney! There is a "Ho-Ho-OW-OW-OW!" as a red-clad rear appears from the top, but as it nears the fire quickly scrambles back up, sending more soot down. After some major rumbling on the roof and a dull thud outside, the door opens and Harvey Danger stands in the door, slightly disheveled, missing the pompom of his hat, his red suite smeared with soot and rubbing his bottom, holding a big sack filled with presents. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" he shouts and limps over to the table, adding his presents to the pile. “Now, Basham! Now Boogeyman! Batista and Booker! Fuck dropping off presents this year, let’s find Santa a hooker!” As everybody focuses on Harvey, nobody notices at first that Marie is right behind him, but one of the staff members stops her and asks to see the contents of her purse. "This is my purse, you pervert! Get your hands off!" She swings her purse at the attendant, but someone, who looks like a supervisor of some sorts briskly walks over to intervene. "Mrs. Danger, I am afraid that we will have to check your purse to ensure there is no contraband being smuggled into the lodge, otherwise I will have to ask you to leave the premises." With a look that could have made a cactus lose its needles, she hands over her purse and the supervisor opens it up. Bit by bit he pulls out a box of Tic-Tac, a coin purse that seems to weigh a ton, a .357 Magnum, causing a very highly raised eyebrow, a brick, a pastrami sandwich, a spare pair of drawers, pepper spray, an XXL Maglite, ... “The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow. It was not Snitsky's fault, I thought the world should know.” The noise of a truck turns a few heads and when the door crashes open and Jace Valentine bursts in with a glittery robe: "You know what this entrance is?" Someone from the back shouts over "Lame?", drawing an angry stare from the Jace that runs the Place, who snaps back: "Glorious! It is glorious, man!" And turns around, holding up his robe. Nobody really reacts to him, so he slouches off towards the bar to get himself a beer. Or two, or three. In the meantime a tall man dressed in a black trench coat and wide-brimmed hat stoops to enter the lodge, carrying a cloth bag. As he takes off his hat he is revealed as Anubis, one of the latest additions to the roster. He walks over to the gift table, opens the bag and takes out an odd-looking present, pyramid shaped and wrapped in fabric like a mummy... Through the windows swirling red and blue lights now can be seen and a police officer is looking in the door: "Is the owner of a truck with the licence plate 'SAHNSUX' here by any chance? We'd like to have a word with him." Jace turns around and looks at him. "Oh, Mr. Valentine! I think this might be yours." Reluctantly he gets up and follows the officer outside. Sam and Dean, the Lost Boys, are coming in as Jace is going out... Dean: "Are you sure we should be here? Took us forever to find this place and now they have the police here, too?" Sam: "Oh, it's that guy I'll be facing in the next round! Race, Lace, Mace..." Dean (with a sigh): "Jace..." Sam: "Yes, that guy! Maybe he won't be a problem after tonight... Anyways, why does it have to be so cold!" Dean: "Winter is different here, I told you! We should have gone shoppine before we came her, but nooo, you had to wear your 'thongs'..." But Sam isn't listening anymore, he found the egg nog station... ...a Santa hat, a bag of mixed nuts, hand lotion, face lotion, foot lotion, a photo album... Finally, after seemingly an hour of wait, the door swiftly pops open and through a burst of brisk wind come in the father and son Rishel combination. Rish immediately waves to everyone in the room with a wide grin on his face, while Jaiden pops open the sixteen ounce can of Shock Top Belgian White he seemingly pulled out of nowhere. "Where in the hell did that come from?" the elder Rishel questions his son. "Santa's lil' elf handed it to me on the way in, didn't you see him?" Jaiden replies with a smile, laughing as he points a few feet away. J. Rish glances over and almost falls to the floor as he sees The Little Guy dressed up to the nines, all in green with a pointy hat and Santa's elf suit. "Welcome to Wrestlemas, Rishels, we're glad that you could make it. Now please come in, take a seat, but don't break it. I must tell you though before you come in. At this Christmas party, ego is a sin. So keep all animosity and feuds to yourself, for I am TLG the christmas party's elf!" "I thought Chaolin Sahn was still buried in the Ice Chest, what the fuck is this?" Jaiden staggers away from the scene, completely downing the can of Shock Top with one long gulp as he does so. The two of them make their way across the tables, looking on at the entire CWF roster as they finally find their spot. J. Rish attempts to make conversation with a few of the older members of the roster as he finds his seat, but no one really seems interested in saying other than simply "hi". In the mean time Jace is slinking back in, with what looks like a police ticket, going back to the bar to nurse his beer. Suddenly a calm voice echoes from the PA: “Ladies and gentlemen, I bid you welcome to the CWF Christmas party, or Wrestlemas, as we like to call it.” From out of nowhere The Shadow had appeared, wearing a black tuxedo, black shirt, black tie, basically black everything, seemingly taking on the role of the host. “It may seem unusual to get everybody together here and all I would like to ask is to keep any animosities aside and..." The door crashes open and Roid Rogers runs in, tearing up his shirt while screaming "SO WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHEN ROID ROGERS… GOES WILD… IN YOU!!!!" and racing straight out the back door... "...that was, uh, different... Anyways, as I mentioned, at least act civilized, if you do not like someone, you can stay in opposite sides of the room, but this will be a peaceful gathering and anybody intending to stir up any trouble will be taken care of. Swiftly.” A spotlight comes on and illuminates the back wall, where a dozen of druids stand, robed, hooded and unmoving. “The buffet is opened, enjoy.” And just as quick as he appeared, he is gone, melted back into the shadows. ...an alarm clock, a spare purse, a manicure set, a pack of condoms... Most of the attendees begin to head over to the richly filled buffet tables, loaded with turkey and lamb, trout and salmon, potatoes and other vegetables, even a vegan section and a decadent table with some exquisite chocolates, pastries and mousses. Duce is first in line, loading up his plates as if there was no tomorrow, getting quite a few disapproving looks from others, but he seems to be happy as a clam to be here and does not quite care. Mariella Flair is just picking up some food, when Lance LaRusso edges up to her. “Hello baby, how you doin’?” She gives him one look, says “No!” and walks away, leaving Lance wondering what he did wrong... Harley Hodge, who had come in without anyone noticing, comes over, puts his hand on Lance’s shoulder and motions him to come over to their table, where The Lost Soul is already digging in as if food was going out of style tomorrow. Harvey’s standing in line at the buffet and asks Dangerous Dan, if Murray is here yet. Dan: “Murray?” Harvey: “Yes, Murray Christmas, it won’t be the same without him…” Dan slaps him against the back of Harvey’s head and moves on… ...4 packs of gum and two flasks with yet unknown substances. The supervisor is looking at the table next to him and then at the purse, throws his arms into the air and leaves, shaking his head. Mrs. Danger now proceeds to re-fill her purse, taking great care to place everything at exactly the same place it was before. Meanwhile there are odd noises coming from the door, which suddenly flies open and Ataxia jumps in with a “tadaaa”. Then a second Ataxia pushes him out of the way and also goes “tadaaa” and a third and a fourth until there are seven Ataxias standing in the entrance area, much to the puzzlement of the gathered guests, and each other. They start to scuffle in an attempt to prove that they are the true Ataxia and the druids quietly move in, separating them as good as they can, strength in numbers being their main advantage. That and one of the Ataxias being sent into a crumpling heap by a well-timed shot to the head by Mrs. Danger’s purse after bumping into her. The druids quickly dispatch of all Ataxias involved outside, where the commotion continues, but soon dies down. As the door re-opens, one Ataxia is coming back in, shaking off snow and ice, trying to straighten out his suit that has taken a hit in the scuffle, but as he stands there with his arms welcomingly open, expectantly looking around, he realizes that nobody seems to really care, gives a shrug and walks off towards the buffet tables, wondering how we was going to eat anything with his mask on... The band begins to play Christmas tunes with a like rock twist, and some of the guests get up to dance to their music, while Duce uses the opportunity to load up from the dessert table. He still seems very happy and chats up anyone in sight, having a ball. People are still asking Mariella about her parents and if she could introduce them, so she finally had enough, gets up on stage, takes one of the guitars and lets it rip, putting the rock into "Jingle Bell Rock" and suddenly a lot more people are interested in the musical offering. After about half an hour of rocking out, The Shadow suddenly appears at the podium again. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy you enjoy the party. It is time now for our Secret Satan, uh, Santa. You see, every guest has brought one gift, which will be given out, so nobody knows what they will get, I figured it could be an interesting memento to some, knowing some peoples', uh, habits... So the first name is..." He motions Mrs. Danger to come up to the podium. "Mrs. Danger, would you be so kind and be Lady Luck tonight?" With a proud smile she stands up and reaches for her purse before walking up. She pulls a balls out of a bowl and then reads out loud: "Gift no. 1 goes to Duce Jones!". Harvey, who had followed his mother and is still wearing is slightly used Santa outfit picks up the gift and waits for Duce to come up, who is still chewing on some very tasty looking viennoiserie. He rips off the wrap and inside is a Kung-Fu Panda doll. He looks up bewildered, scanning the audience until his eyes land on Pandalike, who just gives him a brief smile and wave. Other noticeable recipients are Jace receiving a dog leash, which lead to Zara begin to complain to Stalker, who quickly silences her with one raised index finger, Harvey getting Anubis’ pyramid, clearly not knowing what to do with it, but Marie seems happy to add it to her collection in her purse. Dan Highlander unpacks a beautiful set of Matryoshka dolls, which are met with a sinister grin of Elisha, while Ataxia’s gift unleashes a maniacal cackle – when the camera comes closer it shows a gift card for a complete makeover. The Lost Boys find a map and a GPS in theirs, the box distinctly marked with “Southern accent”, when Harvey goes "Whoa! Those are the guys that ruined our party!" TLS yells over "Yes, the Lost Boys!", to which Harvey replies "no, not them, these guys here!" The camera slowly fades out as the guests retreat to their respective tables and partners, while Mrs. Danger races after the Lost Boys, her purse a-swinging... Murray Christmas all from CWF! Edited by The Weaver of Dreams, Dec 24 2017, 04:05 PM.
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